BRM Reviews the 7/15/2013 Raw
Posted: Jul 16th, '13, 16:21
OPENING SEGMENT- I LOVED Brad Maddox giving himself a drum roll! Those are the sort of little touches that make things great. Props to the writers for having Cena point out why the GM giving a wrestler complete and total free reign to chose an opponent is a stupid idea. If only they will actually remember this point in the future. Orton comes out and warns Cena that when he cashes it in, no one will see it coming. Obvious? Yes. Bad? No.
Then, of all people, Fandango comes out (yes, you read that right: Fandango) and says that Orton will not be cashing in on Cena. He says that Orton will be cashing in on him instead, and despite how utterly ridiculous this idea is, some people actually pop for it. On the bright side, one of the people who popped for this was Summer Rae, and her excited jumping up and down and clapping has quickly made her one of my favorite valets of all time.
Orton jumps Fandango… and Fandango actually wins the brawl to the point of knocking Randy out of the ring! Randy gets back into the ring and knocks Fandango down after that, but I didn’t expect for Fandango to come out of this looking strong at any point.
RANDY ORTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4.75/10
Randy got in about 80% of the offense here, but at least they didn’t make Fandango look like a chump by having him lose in five minutes.
ZIGGLER DUMPS AJ- yeah… this didn’t feel very natural at all, and it felt like there hasn’t been anywhere near enough build. Last night’s finish as good start to the break up, but it seems like they skipped over some steps.
MARK HENRY PROMO- okay. Then the Shield attacks him. That was random. No Usos to make the save? Oh… and who the hell thought a Mark Henry face turn was a good idea? The man is an outstanding heel (as he just spent the last month reminding everyone), but has never worked out well as a babyface… SO WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TURN HIM FACE?
BRAD MADDOX & CHRIS JERICHO BACKSTAGE- Maddox puts over the “Cena gets to choose his challenger” angle and makes Jericho vs. RVD for later tonight.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.75/10
Good finish, but they need to end AJ vs. Dolph before we get a clean finish to Del Rio vs. Ziggler, but I’m not quite sure how they will be able to do that well if they want Ziggler vs. Del Rio to blow off at Summer Slam (because Dolph vs. Big E. probably deserves a PPV.
THE WYATT FAMILY SEGMENT- first they assault R-Truth, then Husky Harris cuts an awesome promo, then he beats up R-Truth some more. Then he says “Kane, follow the buzzards,” which hopefully means there is some master booking plan they have here, rather than something generic.
THE USOS vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10
Zeb Coulter opens his promo with the exact same promo he cut a Wrestlemania (complete with the same joke about Yiddish). The match itself was very short, but it but the Usos over, which was good.
DAMIEN SANDOW vs. CHRISTIAN- 4/10
So they give Sandow the MITB win… then job him out in a few minutes. Um… sure. Then Cody attacks Sandow, which was good, but why the hell would you not give Sandow the win here?
1-800-FELLA COMMERCIAL- Sheamus scaring the guy to get rid of his hiccups was funny. Everything after that was just stupid.
BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella) vs. NAOMI (w/Cameron)- 2.75/10
Naomi was good, but she would have put on a much better match with a better opponent.
PUNK & HEYMAN SEGMENT- FAN-F*CKING-TASTIC!
I was actually waiting for Brock to jump Punk from behind while he was distracted by Heyman’s speech, but this was even better. Fantastic promos from the two best guys on the roster at cutting promos, and a beatdown that made Punk look tough and made Brock look like a monster again.
JOHN CENA & THE GREAT KHALI BACKSTAGE- apparently John Cena speaks… PunjabI? Hindi? Whatever it is that Khali speaks. That’s great for John and Khali, but as a viewer, I had no idea what the hell they were saying, and was thus bored as hell.
STEPH, HUNTER, & BRAD MADDOX BACKSTAGE- okay. Now I’m annoyed. The McMahons spent most of 2012 and 2013 not really bothering with how the show was run… and all of a sudden over the past month and a half they have decided to become the world’s most obnoxious busybodies about it. LET THE GM DO THE JOB YOU HIRED THE GM TO DO AND RUN THE F*CKING THE SHOW!
Even more frustrating, is that they said Vince doesn’t like it when people let others make their decisions for them... while simultaneously saying that he should have run that same f*cking decision past Vince first before making it himself! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
ROB VAN DAM vs. CHRIS JERICHO- 7.75/10
Loved it! A great first match back on Raw for RVD, and Jericho continues to put people over on his way out (for now).
WHO WILL CENA PICK TO CHALLENGE FOR THE WWE TITLE AT SUMMER SLAM?- eh.
Cena did his schtik well, but it got annoying pretty quickly. At least they made the right choice of challenger, and the place went nuts. The real question is… will they put Dragon over? And I don’t think it is outside the realm of possibility. One thing I do have to gripe about, though, is Lawler. Dragon gets this HUGE push of being in the main event at Summer Slam for the WWE Title… and the first thing Lawler does is make a goat-face joke. GRRR.
Overall, a decent episode of Raw, but mostly because of RVD vs. Jericho and Punk-Heyman stuff.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Lawler- “I’ve got a feeling that’s gonna be the last time AJ is going to get involved in any of Dolph’s matches”
Yeah. Because AJ has never attempted to screw over any of her ex-boyfriends before. I swear, Lawler can be almost as bad as Mike Tenay when it comes to not remembering important facts.
Then, of all people, Fandango comes out (yes, you read that right: Fandango) and says that Orton will not be cashing in on Cena. He says that Orton will be cashing in on him instead, and despite how utterly ridiculous this idea is, some people actually pop for it. On the bright side, one of the people who popped for this was Summer Rae, and her excited jumping up and down and clapping has quickly made her one of my favorite valets of all time.
Orton jumps Fandango… and Fandango actually wins the brawl to the point of knocking Randy out of the ring! Randy gets back into the ring and knocks Fandango down after that, but I didn’t expect for Fandango to come out of this looking strong at any point.
RANDY ORTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4.75/10
Randy got in about 80% of the offense here, but at least they didn’t make Fandango look like a chump by having him lose in five minutes.
ZIGGLER DUMPS AJ- yeah… this didn’t feel very natural at all, and it felt like there hasn’t been anywhere near enough build. Last night’s finish as good start to the break up, but it seems like they skipped over some steps.
MARK HENRY PROMO- okay. Then the Shield attacks him. That was random. No Usos to make the save? Oh… and who the hell thought a Mark Henry face turn was a good idea? The man is an outstanding heel (as he just spent the last month reminding everyone), but has never worked out well as a babyface… SO WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TURN HIM FACE?
BRAD MADDOX & CHRIS JERICHO BACKSTAGE- Maddox puts over the “Cena gets to choose his challenger” angle and makes Jericho vs. RVD for later tonight.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.75/10
Good finish, but they need to end AJ vs. Dolph before we get a clean finish to Del Rio vs. Ziggler, but I’m not quite sure how they will be able to do that well if they want Ziggler vs. Del Rio to blow off at Summer Slam (because Dolph vs. Big E. probably deserves a PPV.
THE WYATT FAMILY SEGMENT- first they assault R-Truth, then Husky Harris cuts an awesome promo, then he beats up R-Truth some more. Then he says “Kane, follow the buzzards,” which hopefully means there is some master booking plan they have here, rather than something generic.
THE USOS vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10
Zeb Coulter opens his promo with the exact same promo he cut a Wrestlemania (complete with the same joke about Yiddish). The match itself was very short, but it but the Usos over, which was good.
DAMIEN SANDOW vs. CHRISTIAN- 4/10
So they give Sandow the MITB win… then job him out in a few minutes. Um… sure. Then Cody attacks Sandow, which was good, but why the hell would you not give Sandow the win here?
1-800-FELLA COMMERCIAL- Sheamus scaring the guy to get rid of his hiccups was funny. Everything after that was just stupid.
BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella) vs. NAOMI (w/Cameron)- 2.75/10
Naomi was good, but she would have put on a much better match with a better opponent.
PUNK & HEYMAN SEGMENT- FAN-F*CKING-TASTIC!
I was actually waiting for Brock to jump Punk from behind while he was distracted by Heyman’s speech, but this was even better. Fantastic promos from the two best guys on the roster at cutting promos, and a beatdown that made Punk look tough and made Brock look like a monster again.
JOHN CENA & THE GREAT KHALI BACKSTAGE- apparently John Cena speaks… PunjabI? Hindi? Whatever it is that Khali speaks. That’s great for John and Khali, but as a viewer, I had no idea what the hell they were saying, and was thus bored as hell.
STEPH, HUNTER, & BRAD MADDOX BACKSTAGE- okay. Now I’m annoyed. The McMahons spent most of 2012 and 2013 not really bothering with how the show was run… and all of a sudden over the past month and a half they have decided to become the world’s most obnoxious busybodies about it. LET THE GM DO THE JOB YOU HIRED THE GM TO DO AND RUN THE F*CKING THE SHOW!
Even more frustrating, is that they said Vince doesn’t like it when people let others make their decisions for them... while simultaneously saying that he should have run that same f*cking decision past Vince first before making it himself! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
ROB VAN DAM vs. CHRIS JERICHO- 7.75/10
Loved it! A great first match back on Raw for RVD, and Jericho continues to put people over on his way out (for now).
WHO WILL CENA PICK TO CHALLENGE FOR THE WWE TITLE AT SUMMER SLAM?- eh.
Cena did his schtik well, but it got annoying pretty quickly. At least they made the right choice of challenger, and the place went nuts. The real question is… will they put Dragon over? And I don’t think it is outside the realm of possibility. One thing I do have to gripe about, though, is Lawler. Dragon gets this HUGE push of being in the main event at Summer Slam for the WWE Title… and the first thing Lawler does is make a goat-face joke. GRRR.
Overall, a decent episode of Raw, but mostly because of RVD vs. Jericho and Punk-Heyman stuff.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Lawler- “I’ve got a feeling that’s gonna be the last time AJ is going to get involved in any of Dolph’s matches”
Yeah. Because AJ has never attempted to screw over any of her ex-boyfriends before. I swear, Lawler can be almost as bad as Mike Tenay when it comes to not remembering important facts.