BRM Reviews 3PW Raven's Rules

[Big Red Machine]

3PW Raven's Rules (11/22/2003)- Philadelphia, PA

RICKY VEGA vs. CJ O'DOYLE- 4.25/10

MONSTA MACK vs. ROADKILL- 5/10
Decent big-man stuff. And now Roadkill himself is encouraging the fans to chant "you f*ck sheep" at him.

MATT STRIKER vs. RUCKUS- 3.5/10
Some of Striker's antics were fun, but why the hell would you job Ruckus out to a comedy guy in his debut?

WHO IS THE NEW COMMISSIONER?- Joey Matthews and Tod Gordon both come out and claim to be the new commissioner but the ring announcer says that they aren't. Jack Victory then shows up and says that he is the bodyguard for the new commissioner... RAVEN!
Raven comes out to a HUGE pop. Raven then makes a main event match between himself, Sabu, and "anyone else who decides to show up." He then makes a match for Joey Matthews right now... against LOW KI!

LOW KI vs. JOEY MATTHEWS- 8.25/10
Ki also got a big pop when he came out. Not quite as good as the Homicide match, but definitely the second best 3PW match so far. They told a great story with Matthews working over Ki's neck and Ki just kicking the crap out of Joey. Ki is awesome, and this really felt like a big moment for Matthews, too.

MATT STRIKER IMITATES JIMMY SNUKA- awesome, as always. The announcers tried to play this off as Striker being disrespectful, but the crowd was eating it up.

THE BLUE MEANIE vs. ROB ECKOS (w/Matt Striker)- no rating. Hilarious comedy match!
During the match Striker calls Eckos to talk strategy on the outside. During this strategy session, he pulls a plain black ski mask out of his tights and tells Eckos to put it on, then pulls out a second one and puts it on himself. Now that they have these identical masks on, they take the first opportunity they are presented and try to pull a switcharoo... despite the fact that Eckos is wearing tights with his name on them in big letters while Striker is dressed like Jimmy Snuka. HILARIOUS!

AFTERMATH- the heels attack Meanie after the match and Striker hits Meanie with a Superfly Splash. Then Raven comes out and announces that next month it will be Matt Striker vs... JIMMY "SUPERFLY" SNUKA!

THE SUGAR SHACK- eh segment
One of the announcers introduces this segment by saying "this is the part of the show where we get to be simultaneously aroused and disgusted." I'll admit, that ranks pretty high on the list of things I never thought I would hear at a wrestling show.

Anyway, Jasmine says that because Tod has bought her so many presents that she went out and bought him a present: a sex slave named Talia and... I never thought I'd say this, but Velvet Sky looks absolutely HIDEOUS in this segment (yeah, I know that this calls into question every opinion I have expressed on this or any other review, but I swear it's true! watch the show if you don't believe me! It's available on Youtube).

They then bring out Gary Wolfe and last month's mystery woman (now named Vixen) to the ring for an interview. Pitbull explains his motivation for turning heel: That since Pitbull #2 died, he has decided that he can't trust anyone anymore.... this would be fine if Pitbull #2 hadn't died three months after the heel turn started. Tod then stirs the pot a bit, getting Pitbull fired up for the next match...

DAMIAN ADAMS vs. "THE PITBULL" GARY WOLFE (w/Vixen)- no rating. Good segment.
Pitbull beats the crap out of Adams aside from one or two hope spots, then toys with him but gets caught in a quick pin. Adams gets the victory but gets even more crap beaten out of him after the match by the angry vicious heel. Good stuff.

HOMICIDE vs. XAVIER- 7/10

TLC MATCH TO CROWN A NEW 3PW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Sandman vs. Raven (w/Jack Victory) vs. Sabu (w/Tod Gordon & Jasmin St. Claire)- 6.75/10
Justin Credible has apparently been stripped of the title for no stated reason, so we need to crown a new champion.

Hilariously, Sandman is wearing a Raven t-shirt, but other than that, he is the same old Sandman, with a Singapore Cane and a cigarette (and also a ladder), doing the same awesome Sandman entrance... until Raven tells him that if his entrance takes any longer than 45 seconds, he will be DQed. He then tells Sandman that Singapore Canes are not allowed in Tables Ladders, and Chairs matches, and if he doesn't put it down right away, he will be DQed. He also tells Sandman that there is no smoking allowed in the building. GREAT stuff!

Then, out of the blue, Raven grabs Jasmin and gives her a Raven Effect. Apparently the head trauma caused by the DDT means that Jasmin needs mouth-to-mouth. Sabu, Sandman, and Raven all try to give her mouth-to-mouth, and Tod gets angry. Sandman also flips up Jasmin's dress so everyone can see her lack of underwear.

Props to commentator Mike Winters for pointing out that ECW is dead and the fans should be chanting for 3PW, not ECW... which it seems like even the booker of 3PW has finally realized.

The match itself was good, despite the best efforts of the tables, which seemed like they went out of their way to screw with these guys. After the match Raven cuts a promo saying he is going to make it his mission to drive Sandman insane.

Overall, a very very good show from 3PW. Probably the best one in their first two years and possibly beyond that as well.