BRM Reviews the 3/11/2013 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

PAUL BEARER TRIBUTE- I don’t know… this seemed to be lacking a bit. It seemed way too much like a tribute to Paul Bearer the character. I think something that focused more on William Moody would have been better. Something about his character, what kind of person he was, etc. etc.

OPENING SEGMENT- WOW! I have seen Taker angry, happy, pissed off, worried, pissed off, annoyed, frustrated, pissed off, excited and pissed off before… but I think is the first time I have ever seen him look sad. THIS felt like a much better, more “real” tribute to Bearer than that whole video package did.
Punk’s promo was good.

KANE TIRES TO CHOKELSAM PUNK OFF THE STAGE DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK- YES! I FREAKIN’ LOVE IT! Kayfabe means that sometimes things happen during commercial breaks, and every once in a while you need something like this to remind us of that.

BIG SHOW vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/the Shield)- no rating. Decent segment. As Lawler said “you had to know it was going to happen.”

PUNK & VICKIE BACKSTAGE- Punk vs. Kane No DQ’s tonight!

DANIEL BRYAN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/A.J. Lee & Big E. Langston)- 6.75/10

FANDANGO, BRODUS, TENSAI, & THE FUNKADACTYLS SEGMENT- this is getting annoying, but I can’t deny that the promo was good. The stuff with Naomi would have worked a bit better if Fandango didn’t already have a girl with him.

RHODES SCHOLARS PROMO- FREAKIN' AWESOME! NAO have nothing on them!

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS- well... that didn't last long. Brock Lesnar comes out and attacks NAO!

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO ON BEHALF OF BROCK LESNAR- great!

KOFI KINGSTON vs. MARK HENRY- 2/10
Well worked, but way too short.

CODY, KAITLYN, & SANDOW BACKSTAGE- GREAT! The Bellas are back (they're dating Cena and Dragon... we all knew they would be), we get more Rhodes Scholars, and the stuff with Kaitlyn was great!

RYBACK vs. HEATH SLATER (w/Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal)- no rating. Good segment. Ryback squashes Heath (SURPISE!), but then gets jumped by Drew, gets an ass-kicking from both Ryback and Mark Henry, who was watching from the stage. I really liked this segment, but it pissed me off, too, because Henry's inclusion here makes the earlier squash of Kofi Kingston (a talented up-and-comer) entirely pointless. It didn't help Henry at all and it didn't serve to get Henry on TV because he was going to be in this segment anyway. All it did was waste time and hurt Kofi.

ANTONIO CESARO vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)- 4.5/10
Great for such a short match, but it was still only four minutes. To make matters worse, United States Champion Antonio Cesaro loses AGAIN! There was no reason for Cesaro to be in this spot at all! Put someone else in here and put Cesaro in a spot where it will build to his Mania match with The Miz.

KANE "PROMO"- sometimes silence speaks more than words ever can.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS vs. RANDY ORTON & SHEAMUS- 5.5/10
Huh. I would have assumed that the Bellas would have been at ringside with Cody and Sandow. Anyway, this needed to go longer than it did for Rhodes Scholars to gain anything here.

SHIELD ATTACK ORTON & SHEAMUS DURING THE COMMERCIAL- why couldn't this have happened during the match to save Rhodes Scholars the loss?

CHRIS JERICHO'S HIGHLIGHT REEL WITH THE MIZ & WADE BARRETT- boring. I just didn't care at all.

WINNER GETS AN IC TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK: The Miz vs. Chris Jericho- no rating.
Was going well until the double DQ. I'm really not sure where they go from here. I had thought that Miz would face Cesaro at Mania, but this looks like we're getting a triple threat match between these three.

DEL RIO & RICARDO MAKE FUN OF SWAGGER & COULTER- good... but if you are doing this, you don't need to have Del Rio wrestle! Why waste time and make Cesaro look weak for no reason?

ZEB COULTER PROMO- AWESOME! And Zeb brings up a great point. There is no excuse for Cara to have not learned English yet. He has been injured so often that he has had more than enough time for some ESL courses.

SIN CARA vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH: Kane vs. CM Punk (w/Paul Heyman)- 6.5/10
Not good enough for a main event. I know it was a tribute match to Paul Bearer but having Punk lose here (even with distraction by Taker) does not built to Wrestlemania well. Punk needed to beat Kane because that will make him look like he can beat Taker. Yes, attacking Kane after the match and stealing the urn gets heat, but in order for this match to work, we need to think that Punk has a shot in hell at ending the streak.

Overall, not a good episode of Raw. Lots of sub-optimal booking choices, wastes of time, and the Mania card is still barely coherent with less than four weeks to go.

[cero2k]

FANDANGO, BRODUS, TENSAI, & THE FUNKADACTYLS SEGMENT- this is getting annoying, but I can’t deny that the promo was good. The stuff with Naomi would have worked a bit better if Fandango didn’t already have a girl with him.

you can never have enough girls

ANTONIO CESARO vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)- 4.5/10
Great for such a short match, but it was still only four minutes. To make matters worse, United States Champion Antonio Cesaro loses AGAIN! There was no reason for Cesaro to be in this spot at all! Put someone else in here and put Cesaro in a spot where it will build to his Mania match with The Miz.

at least he lost to the World Champion this time. it's understandable that he would lose

DEL RIO & RICARDO MAKE FUN OF SWAGGER & COULTER- good... but if you are doing this, you don't need to have Del Rio wrestle! Why waste time and make Cesaro look weak for no reason?

this was a recap from smackdown

ZEB COULTER PROMO- AWESOME! And Zeb brings up a great point. There is no excuse for Cara to have not learned English yet. He has been injured so often that he has had more than enough time for some ESL courses.

i'm thinking this was a legit rib on Sin Cara

[Big Red Machine]

ANTONIO CESARO vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)- 4.5/10
Great for such a short match, but it was still only four minutes. To make matters worse, United States Champion Antonio Cesaro loses AGAIN! There was no reason for Cesaro to be in this spot at all! Put someone else in here and put Cesaro in a spot where it will build to his Mania match with The Miz.

at least he lost to the World Champion this time. it's understandable that he would lose

1. It doesn't really matter as much if he loses so damn quickly
2. It would have been a hell of a lot better to just NOT DO THE MATCH, give some of the time to Cesaro and Miz and give some of the time to another match.

[Big Red Machine]

DEL RIO & RICARDO MAKE FUN OF SWAGGER & COULTER- good... but if you are doing this, you don't need to have Del Rio wrestle! Why waste time and make Cesaro look weak for no reason?

this was a recap from smackdown

Whoops.

[e-moose]

attacking Kane after the match and stealing the urn

(never saw the show)

Really? Iz Punk actually in pozzession of the urn right now? If so, then next week's RAW totally has to open with Punk & Heyman doing a rediculous mocking segment. Heyman w/ fake moustache and eyebrowz dressed up like Paul Bearer doing a rediculous Paul Bearer type promo and Punk trying to look stoic like Undertaker but can't help but snicker a few timez. Then have Punk burst out laughing and then break into a rant about how rediculous characterz such az Paul Bearer should have never existed in pro wrestling because they make a laughing stock of the sport.

[Big Red Machine]

attacking Kane after the match and stealing the urn

(never saw the show)

Really? Iz Punk actually in pozzession of the urn right now? If so, then next week's RAW totally has to open with Punk & Heyman doing a rediculous mocking segment. Heyman w/ fake moustache and eyebrowz dressed up like Paul Bearer doing a rediculous Paul Bearer type promo and Punk trying to look stoic like Undertaker but can't help but snicker a few timez. Then have Punk burst out laughing and then break into a rant about how rediculous characterz such az Paul Bearer should have never existed in pro wrestling because they make a laughing stock of the sport.

They've done that before. I'd much rather see Punk have melted the urn down and turned it into something (ala Kama)

[cero2k]

is it me or does Punk stealing the urn and interrupting Bearer's thing completely telegraph Taker winning at WM (like we needed to be sure about it)

[Big Red Machine]

is it me or does Punk stealing the urn and interrupting Bearer's thing completely telegraph Taker winning at WM (like we needed to be sure about it)

Yes... but I think Bearer dying pretty much ensured Taker winning anyway.