BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 13th, '17, 22:55

OPENING SEGMENT- New Day had the Jazz equivalent of a marching band behind them for their entrance, which was really cool (and I don’t even like jazz), but it seemed kind of weird to me that Woods wasn’t playing his trombone with them. I mean… isn’t that his gimmick? They were also wearing Mardi Gras beads even though it’s the middle of June.
They started to cut a promo but were interrupted by the Usos, who cut a promo on them. The Usos were interrupted by Breeze & Fandango. The Usos did not take them seriously at all. Then The Colons came out and did a decent job of delivering a promo clearly written by someone else. Then Big E. said they would kick their butts.

THE COLONS & THE USOS vs. TYLER BREEZE, FANDANGO, & THE NEW DAY (w/Big E. Langston)- 6.75/10
This got lots of time, as it should have on this particular show.

MAIN EVENT BABYFACES BACKSTAGE- before Sami shows up. AJ warns Nakamura that Sami is an annoying motor-mouth. Then Sami shows up and is one. They had Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens’ worst enemy refer to Owens as “the New Face of America Kevin Owens.” Because that’s a totally natural way to talk about someone who you hate with every fiber of your being.

DASHA INTERVIEWS MOJO RAWLER- wow. Mojo was pretty great here. Then Zack Ryder showed up and they had a happy reunion. Wow.

TAMINA vs. NAOMI- 2/10
Tamina’s new music is perfect for what they need her to be, and making her feel like more of a big scary monster helps to differentiate her from Nia Jax.
Lana came out to ringside to watch the match. There were “WE WANT RUSEV!” chants. Naomi beat the big scary monster cleanly in about five minutes. So much for the big scary monster. Then Lana laid Naomi out from behind and hit her with her… new finisher, I guess? Then she asked for the title belt and some stupid ringside attendant actually gave it to her even though she’s not the champion. This ringside attendant should be fired. Lana posed over Naomi’s corpse with the belt.
The match wasn’t good, but more importantly, I think they made the wrong call here with the booking. I’d have given Lana a squash victory here to give her something that at least resembles credibility going into her title shot. Naomi would be on commentary so that they could have a shouting match afterwards.

JINDER MAHAL & RANDY ORTON “COME FACE TO FACE”- geez. At least have this be a contract signing so that you have some kayfabe reason for them to come face to face that isn’t simply “because we wanted to book them coming face to face.”
Jinder cuts a long promo that feels like it escaped from CHIKARA. Then Randy’s music played and the Singh Brothers went up the ramp to intercept Randy… except that Randy came out of the crowd behind Jinder and hit him with an RKO, which made Jinder come across like a complete and total chump. So Jinder looks like a chump and Randy looks like a heel. That’s definitely what you want to do on the go-home show.

MAIN EVENT HEELS BACKSTAGE- Owens convinced the other two that they should work together tonight, like rational people. Good.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- good promo by Randy.

NATALYA vs. CHARLOTTE- 6.75/10
I got completely fed up with the commentary about a minute into this match. It was just so inane. The wrestling, thankfully, was not. The camerawork was, though. Actually “inane” isn’t a strong enough word. A more correct word would be “idiotic.” How else would you describe cutting away from on-going, in-ring action to let us look at the stupid briefcase hanging from the ceiling.

THE FASHION FILES- Sami Zayn’s picture was labeled “Generic” and had a sticky note on it that said “needs a mask!” The rest of this was kind of funny, too.

DASHA FUENTES INTERVIEWS LANA- meh

AJ STYLES, SHINSUKE NAKAMURA, & SAMI ZAYN vs. KEVIN OWENS, BARON CORBIN, & DOLPH ZIGGLER- 7.5/10
Zayn pins Corbin, which is the right finish here as it keeps that storyline alive while not really hurting anyone because Corbin has already lost to Sami twice so this is just maintaining the status quo.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- started off good but then got pretty bad.
The heels try to take the babyfaces out with a ladder… but then Owens and Zayn get face to face and argue about who will win at the PPV and the camera points up at the briefcase (which is now the one for the men’s match which means that either they have two of them up there or they’re changing it multiple times a night, both of which are silly)… and while we were looking at the stupid briefcase, we missed Baron Corbin taking them both out. Thank G-d this PPV is on Sunday because I can’t take another week of this dumb sh*t.
Corbin uses the ladder on some people, then climbs up the ladder for absolutely no reason… and of course Nakamura comes in and shoves the ladder over. Then Nakamura climbs the ladder to pull down the briefcase for no real reason other than we needed a visual to close the show.

A very very nothing-happening go-home show. I’m soooo happy the PPV is this week so that next week we can actually go back to matches that might actually have consequences.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 06:51

Jinder Mahal IS a chump and Orton has always been kind of a heel though lol.
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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 09:07

Before you even GET A CHANCE to respond! Randy Orton has never really been that kind of a good fellow, so why not ? Lol
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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 09:29

When does E leave the new day and wear all black and become a monster heel again?

You all can have your "There's so little tag team" , and keep Woods and Kingston, but that's quite enough of this nonsense already.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 14th, '17, 10:40

KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 06:51 Jinder Mahal IS a chump and Orton has always been kind of a heel though lol.
Right, but those aren't the portrayals you should be going for heading into this match where Jinder is supposed to be a dangerous champion and Randy is supposed to be the babyface we all want to see take the title. This was advertised as a "face to face" and yet it was the babyface who jumped the heel from behind.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 10:55

Big Red Machine wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:40
KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 06:51 Jinder Mahal IS a chump and Orton has always been kind of a heel though lol.
Right, but those aren't the portrayals you should be going for heading into this match where Jinder is supposed to be a dangerous champion and Randy is supposed to be the babyface we all want to see take the title. This was advertised as a "face to face" and yet it was the babyface who jumped the heel from behind.
You know he's not a standard face though so it doesn't matter. It's not like if it was Styles or Nakamura.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jun 14th, '17, 11:18

KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:55
Big Red Machine wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:40
KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 06:51 Jinder Mahal IS a chump and Orton has always been kind of a heel though lol.
Right, but those aren't the portrayals you should be going for heading into this match where Jinder is supposed to be a dangerous champion and Randy is supposed to be the babyface we all want to see take the title. This was advertised as a "face to face" and yet it was the babyface who jumped the heel from behind.
You know he's not a standard face though so it doesn't matter. It's not like if it was Styles or Nakamura.
I don't think it fits in with the angle. Not if you're going to invoke notions of noble patriotism like the US getting involved in World War One.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 11:21

Big Red Machine wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 11:18
KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:55
Big Red Machine wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:40

Right, but those aren't the portrayals you should be going for heading into this match where Jinder is supposed to be a dangerous champion and Randy is supposed to be the babyface we all want to see take the title. This was advertised as a "face to face" and yet it was the babyface who jumped the heel from behind.
You know he's not a standard face though so it doesn't matter. It's not like if it was Styles or Nakamura.
I don't think it fits in with the angle. Not if you're going to invoke notions of noble patriotism like the US getting involved in World War One.

Well yeah, it pretty just had to be "an Rko outta' nowhere!!!!!" , You know, buzz phrases and cliches.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 6/13/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jun 14th, '17, 14:54

KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 11:21
Big Red Machine wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 11:18
KILLdozer wrote: Jun 14th, '17, 10:55

You know he's not a standard face though so it doesn't matter. It's not like if it was Styles or Nakamura.
I don't think it fits in with the angle. Not if you're going to invoke notions of noble patriotism like the US getting involved in World War One.

Well yeah, it pretty much just had to be "an Rko outta' nowhere!!!!!" , You know, buzz phrases and cliches.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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