BRM Reviews the 11/22/2016 Smackdown (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- terrible
Shane comes out to brag about Smackdown’s victory in the men’s tag match. So what? You won one match but lost the other two. Wasn’t it all about beating Raw? Well you didn’t do that, pal. I expect you be very sad. He scolds Dean and AJ for not being able to put their differences aside. Who cares? You’re team won that match. And, in fact, in the two matches you lost your teams worked together perfectly. All of the evidence in front of us suggests that this shouldn’t matter one bit.
Shane also joins the list of WWE employees who do not understand that you can’t have more than one “sole survivor” in a match.

Douchebag Dean comes out to downplay his own betrayal of his teammates and laud the actions of the cheater James Ellsworth. Dean brings out Ellsworth, who is in a neck-brace. JBL said “he looks like a lower case “i,” which caused me to laugh my ass off. For helping Smackdown help to defeat Raw, Ellsworth is offered a contract. As punishment for his actions last night, Shane kicks Dean out of the building. Of course this means he’ll be back later, and I’m sure there will be no consequences for that. AJ comes out to complain that Dean wasn’t punished enough, and also to complain about Ellsworth getting a contract. Shane is insistent that Ellsworth “deserves” this contract. Why? What has he done to earn a contract? It’s the Heath Slater angle all over again: The guy is clearly a loser and always has been, (hell, at least Slater was a tag champ at one point. I don’t think Ellsworth has even won a single televised match cleanly), and yet Shane is insisting that he has somehow “earned this.” I call bullsh*t. AJ is right. This show has become the home for charity-cases, not top-notch competition like on Raw.
AJ says Ellsworth should have to beat him in a ladder match to earn a contract. Ellsworth says that if he wins, he also wants a title shot… so Shane books it. EVEN THOUGH ELLSWORTH IS IN A F*CKING NECK-BRACE. Even worse, we all know how this will end: Ambrose screwing AJ. So f*ck this waste of time and credibility-killing main event.

DANIEL BRYAN, MIZ, & MARYSE BACKSTAGE- decent
We just saw Shane reward James Ellsworth for helping Smackdown cheat to win, but now Bryan is shaming Miz and Maryse for doing the exact same thing. Mixed messages, much? One of the worst things you can do for your product is to excuse cheating/wrongdoing when a babyface does it while condemning it when a heel does it because it makes your babyfaces seem like hypocrites. That’s what is happening here. Miz’s punishment is that he has to defend the IC Title against Kalisto, who got screwed out of a title shot at the PPV, so at least that was good.

SHANE & AMBROSE BACKSTAGE- Shane kicks Dean out of the building with the explanation that Dean is too crazy. Dean asks to get his jacket, but Shane orders him to leave without it, in November. In Canada. Way to look out for the health of your employees, Shane.

WWE INTERONCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: The Miz(c) (w/Maryse) vs. Kalisto- 2/10
They did stuff until Corbin showed up to cost Kalisto the match and beat him up afterwards. Meanwhile, on the ramp, Dolph showed up to superkick Miz.

ALEXA BLISS!, SHANE MCMAHON, & BECKY LYNCH BACKSTAGE-
Daniel Bryan promises to go deal with the previous segment. Alexa shows up wanting to know when she will get the rematch she was promised last week. Bryan pawns her off on Shane. Becky shows up to interrupt and tells Alexa that the title match will take place at TLC. You’d think that someone would have told Alexa this before.
Then Nattie showed up and blamed their loss at Survivor Series on Becky, who she claims was insecure about Alexa taking her title, and was thus not focused on the match. Shane brings up the mystery of Nikki’s attacker just to keep it fresh in our minds. Shane books Nattie vs. Becky for later tonight. Nattie starts to do her stupid lyrics gimmick, which apparently has go-away heat with Alexa because it literally caused Alexa to walk away rather than have to listen to it. Then Nattie left and Dean showed up, with Pizza. So the gimmick here is either that security on Smackdown sucks, or that this ban from the arena works on the on the honor system. F*ck this.

DANIEL BRYAN & BARON CORBIN BACKSTAGE- Bryan punishes Corbin by booking him against Kane later tonight.

TAG TEAM TURMOIL #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: The Hype Bros. vs. The Ascension vs. Tyler Breeze & Fandango vs. America Alpha vs. The Vaudevillains vs. The Usos- 5.25/10
Just to prove that this last month hasn’t meant sh*t, a bunch of guys who lost last night plus the guys who lost to some of these losers both last week and in qualifiers before that are all getting a chance to be the #1 contenders. How about giving the shot to the Usos, who were not only the last men standing on the Smackdown side but who also did eliminate Raw’s tag team champions?

WYATT FAMILY PROMO- they want American Alpha next week. Why didn’t they just ask Shane if they could be in the match?

DANIEL BRYAN & JAMES ELLSWORTH BACKSTAGE- it was fine until Dean Ambrose showed up yet again, this time dressed like a Mountie (or actually like The Mountie). Shane finally snaps at him… and on Bryan’s advice, it’s SHANE who leaves.

NATALYA vs. BECKY LYNCH- 4/10
Alexa Bliss! is doing guest commentary. That is the only time you will ever see me include an exclamation point in a sentence saying someone is doing guest commentary in WWE. Otunga tried to tell her she didn’t deserve another title shot, so she ripped him to shreds intellectually. There is so much terrible announcing in pro wrestling nowadays that it is truly a moment to be savored when someone points out exactly how stupid the things they say are.
The match was short, but Alexa’s commentary was entertaining. This show is in Canada, so of course they booked Nattie to tap out clean. Alexa jumped Becky after the match and laid her out with a DDT.

HYPE BROS. SHILL MERCH- Ryder steals from the merch table. The announcers just laugh this off.

BRYAN, MIZ, & MARYSE BACKSTAGE- we’re getting Miz vs. Dolph in a Ladder Match for the IC Title at TLC in a no-rematches blow-off cool.

CARMELLA & NIKKI BACKSTAGE- Nikki accuses Carmella of jumping her at Survivor Series. Carmella points out that she has no reason not to take credit for it, which she hasn’t done. She provides a list of possible suspects, all of whom make sense. These two are having a No DQs match at the PPV. Really? A No DQ’s match at TLC? Why not just make it one of the theme matches?

BARON CORBIN vs. KANE- no rating, okay segment.
Kalisto runs in and attacks Corbin for the quick DQ. This feud definitely feels more heated now. Kane being the one to lay Corbin out probably wasn’t the best thing to do, though. More stuff happened, though, and Kalisto nailed Corbin with a Van Daminator.

LADDER MATCH IN WHICH IF ELLSWORTH LOSES HE LEAVES WWE FOREVER BUT IF HE WINS HE GETS A WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SHOT: James Ellsworth vs. AJ Styles- no rating, horrible segment.
1. If Ellsworth is in a f*cking neck-brace they shouldn’t be letting him wrestle at all.
2. There was no security placed around ringside to stop Dean from interfering, even after Commissioner Shane McMahon threw Ambrose out of the building at least three different times
3. I still don’t understand why I am supposed to like James Ellsworth. He’s a goofball loser who can’t win a match on his own. Seriously. If AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose weren’t feuding, James Ellsworth would have a grand total of ZERO wins. And yet somehow he is the most over babyface in the company! WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!

Another bad episode of Smackdown. Remember how Shane and Bryan and even The Undertaker said it was so important for Smackdown to beat Raw? Well aside from Corbin’s run-in the only consequences were for Smackdown guys who WON their matches, and the fact that Smackdown lost 3-2 was NEVER MENTIONED ONCE. Thank you, WWE, for wasting five hours of my time for four straight weeks.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. David Otunga is astounded that Kevin Owens and the Miz are upset with him all because he insulted them.

[cero2k]

Did anyone else get the feeling that they're building to an Ambrose vs Shane feud somehow?

[Big Red Machine]

Did anyone else get the feeling that they're building to an Ambrose vs Shane feud somehow?

Not at all. This was just their idea of Dean being wacky Dean, LOL, and look at how he rebels against authority so he's just like Austin so please everyone cheer for him like he's Austin.

[cero2k]

Did anyone else get the feeling that they're building to an Ambrose vs Shane feud somehow?

Not at all. This was just their idea of Dean being wacky Dean, LOL, and look at how he rebels against authority so he's just like Austin so please everyone cheer for him like he's Austin.

I just thought there was way too much pushing of Shane's patience tonight

[KILLdozer]

Nawh Shane had a concussion so he was a little angry anyways.