BRM gets bored after watching only one third of the 7/18/2016 Lame Duck Raw

[Big Red Machine]

THE RULES OF THE DRAFT ARE DISPLAYED- We’ve broken down these rules and their consequences in other places on the forum, but I do want to comment WWE leading off the show with this important information, and having it ready in graphic form. On this graphic, the Smackdown logo had the word “LIVE” tacked onto the bottom of it in all caps, all but confirming my suspicions about an obnoxious change to the name of the show.

THE MCMAHONS BICKER- well… at least once I get through tonight I’ll never have to deal with this again.
Shane tells Steph that she wishes she was born with testicles, but she should count herself lucky that she wasn’t because if she was a dude he totally would have fought back after she hit him last week. Steph attempts to be snarky by replying that “lady balls are a hell of a lot bigger than testicles,” which is factually incorrect. Shane didn’t come off any smarter, as he said “tomorrow, when you wake up Wednesday morning and the draft is over.”
Steph announced that, per Vince’s orders, “due the success of the Cruiserweight Classic” the Cruiserweight Division will be returning, and it will be exclusive to Raw. And after what happened to the Women’s Division, I’m sure everyone is filled with confidence that Vince and Steph will manage to not kill Hunter’s second baby just like they did to his first.

Steph introduces the GM of Raw: Mick Foley. Steph says that Foley will have “complete autonomy” and will “lead to Raw to the Promised Land.” Well if Foley is going to be the guy running the show, then what’s the point of even having Steph at all?
Foley says that The New Era reminds him of The Attitude Era and that the “climate” of competition between Raw and Smackdown reminds him of the Monday Night Wars. Typical WWE trying to move forward by planting their feet firmly in the past.

Shane introduces his GM: Daniel Bryan. Shane saying that Bryan was more popular than Foley was a nice thing to say… and the pop Bryan got bore it out. Bryan being kind of a dick to Steph was unnecessary, though. Long, sustained “DANIEL BRYAN!” chants. My heart is smiling.
Bryan gives a nice, passionate, heartfelt speech… and now we’re back to the McMahons bickering. Deep breath. Just get through it one more time, BRM. One more time.

I will admit that I am glad that we’ll have two babyface GMs, and Steph’s speech makes me hope that she won’t be around to bicker with Foley, so we can finally not have a heel authority figure.

KEVIN OWENS & CHRIS JERICHO vs. SAMI ZAYN & CESARO- 7/10
Zayn cut a great in-set promo. It’s amazing how they have given no indication whatsoever about anything that might happen in the draft… except for Owens and Zayn, who they have pretty much told us will be split up from day one and have treated their separation as an absolute certainty instead of a possibility.
A great tag team match.

DANIEL BRYAN BACKSTAGE WITH GOLDEN TRUTH- the first thing I heard out of Bryan’s mouth was an incredulous “how is that going to make Smackdown better?” Then he walked away from them, ignoring them as they tried to continue talking to him. It was glorious.

DANIEL BRYAN BACKSTAGE WITH TITUS O’NEIL AND… JACK SWAGGER DRESSED AS CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI?- They just shook his hand.

DANIEL BRYAN BACKSTAGE WITH STEPHANIE MCMAHON- completely pointless WWE-dialogue bickering.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DARREN YOUNG (w/Bob Backlund)- DUD!
The Miz & Maryse were on commentary. Darren Young was distracted by Miz and wound up getting rolled up by Del Rio, but it was only a visual pinfall because the ref was distracted with Miz. Del Rio went over to yell at Miz, and Darren took advantage of this to get the win. This heel bullsh*t is even worse than last week’s accidental victory.

ENZO AMORE PROMO- awesome!

OTHER PROMOS- bad
Cena lecturing Enzo and Cass about not being serious was… quite a sight. The Club, The New Day, and the Wyatts all came out to cut proms in turn. The New Day appeared none the worse for wear after NEARLY GETTING MURDERED BY THE WYATT FAMILY. At that point I decided it was 1:51 am and f*ck this show because I want to go to bed and nothing that happens tonight will matter anyway because we already know the full PPV card and tomorrow is the draft. If anything I didn’t see turns out to be important, I’ll hear about it from Meltzer and Alvarez, and if anything I miss is worth seeing, you guys will tell me about it… won’t you? Pretty please?



STUPID ANNOUNER QUOTES:
1. JBL- “It’s as close to a guarantee as you can get: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens will not end up on the same brand, because I don’t think either general manager or commissioner would risk putting those guys together on the same brand.”
Yeah. Because G-d forbid that two people who hate each other have a fight on a wrestling show. We sure wouldn’t want that to happen.

[cero2k]

i dreaded the show, turned off right around the same point you did. Only thing i got from this show is that Swagger and O'Neil could make a good big athletic dude team

[Big Red Machine]

i dreaded the show, turned off right around the same point you did. Only thing i got from this show is that Swagger and O'Neil could make a good big athletic dude team

I'd go for it.

[Bulletclubfan2014]

BTW they may have done the angle to split the World Title on RAW last night when Seth and Dean both got pinned as well as a great 12 man tag and World Title match itself was awesome as well

[Big Red Machine]

BTW they may have done the angle to split the World Title on RAW last night when Seth and Dean both got pinned as well as a great 12 man tag and World Title match itself was awesome as well

Drat. Now I have to watch it.

If they did intend this as a world-title splitting angle, what does that mean for the PPV?

[cero2k]

BTW they may have done the angle to split the World Title on RAW last night when Seth and Dean both got pinned as well as a great 12 man tag and World Title match itself was awesome as well

Drat. Now I have to watch it.

If they did intend this as a world-title splitting angle, what does that mean for the PPV?

it was a terrible angle apparently, and they're having a rematch tonight anyway at the draft so I have no idea what their intentions are.

[KILLdozer]

Yeah, it was basically from what I've read, "double pin finish, Stephanie says "fuck this, Rollins wins", Because...heels, then Shane just immediately reversed it on the network and basically gave him Ambrose the champion's advantage..."since there was no real decisive winner the Champion retains."

[cero2k]

Yeah, it was basically from what I've read, "double pin finish, Stephanie says "fuck this, Rollins wins", Because...heels, then Shane just immediately reversed it on the network and basically gave him Ambrose the champion's advantage..."since there was no real decisive winner the Champion retains."

i read that WWE continued the show on the network and restarted the match with Ambrose winning, so completely irrelevant cliffhanger

[KILLdozer]

Yeah, it was basically from what I've read, "double pin finish, Stephanie says "fuck this, Rollins wins", Because...heels, then Shane just immediately reversed it on the network and basically gave him Ambrose the champion's advantage..."since there was no real decisive winner the Champion retains."

i read that WWE continued the show on the network and restarted the match with Ambrose winning, so completely irrelevant cliffhanger

I didn't read that much. As far as I knew it didn't even go that far.

[cero2k]

i read that WWE continued the show on the network and restarted the match with Ambrose winning, so completely irrelevant cliffhanger

I didn't read that much. As far as I knew it didn't even go that far.

oh yeah, all reports are just saying it was like 5-10 minutes at most

[KILLdozer]

All I know is that they've got to ban all the pelvic thrusts and gyrations and ass slapping of The new day...if it's all about not wanting children to do dangerous things...these are things children don't need to be imitating as well...

Just imagine there ten year olds going back to school lien this Because "new day rocks!"...

[Big Red Machine]

i read that WWE continued the show on the network and restarted the match with Ambrose winning, so completely irrelevant cliffhanger

I didn't read that much. As far as I knew it didn't even go that far.

oh yeah, all reports are just saying it was like 5-10 minutes at most

If you're going to restart the match on the Network and go to a finish, then how can you justify the rematch the next night?

[cero2k]

oh yeah, all reports are just saying it was like 5-10 minutes at most

If you're going to restart the match on the Network and go to a finish, then how can you justify the rematch the next night?

there is non, but since they didn't show it on TV and didn't advertise the network, lots of people probably still think Seth Rollins is the champ