BRM Reviews the 8/1/2013 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

ATLAS SECURITY WON’T LET TAZ INTO THE BUILDING- You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but TNA even manages to make me angry in the way that they lock Taz out of the building! Six months ago Taz said that his contact stipulated that he couldn’t be touched and couldn’t be fired, which was why he was allowed to stay as a commentator… but now that Hogan has decreed that Taz is not allowed into the building, he is completely helpless? Why the f*ck didn’t they do this months ago?! And shouldn’t Taz, as a member of Aces & Eights, be allowed into the building anyway? And if not, why would Hogan not simply bar the Aces & Eights from the building.

TENAY & JB HYPE UP THE AUGUST 1ST WARNING- It doesn’t make any damn sense for TNA to be airing these! And if this guy is threatening to crash the show, shouldn’t Atlas Security be trying to stop HIM front entering the building?


OPENING SEGMENT- Aries was good. Roode was… almost babyface-ish in the beginning. I think Roode’s promo would have worked a lot better without Aries in the ring. Austin really just stood around and did nothing. This would have worked fine as a segment to break up the tag team… except that according to the announcers, they have apparently already broken up.

BOBBY ROODE vs. HERNANDEZ- 5/10
If you are going to do a dirty finish, there is no point in having Hernandez kick out after a low blow and with Roode grabbing the tights. That really bothered me. Something else that really bothered me as that Tenay didn’t sell this at all. He just said “yeah, he proves that it pays to be Roode” in that sort of “wrapping up the segment” kind of tone. ROODE JUST SMASHED A BEER BOTTLE OVER HERNANDEZ’S HEAD! Tenay should be outraged!
I also didn’t like the execution here. JB told us that Roode planting the beer bottle was pre-meditated (which is the only real explanation for it being there), and his promo played into that well, but Roode’s reactions here during this match (like the way he snapped on the outside) really seem like they would play better into this being a spur of the moment thing.

EY & ODB BACKSTAGE- decent. This then transitioned into a segment with EY & Joseph Park, which seems like it will set up some comedy skits for later tonight.

SABIN & TJP BACKSTAGE- good, but if they are trying to go with this whole “Manik has been the rebirth of TJP” thing, they really should have given him a new costume to go along with it. One thing I really liked here was that they didn’t show TJ’s face at all. As TJ said, the Suicide Manik mask is the face of the X-Division, and therefore TJ’s face doesn’t matter.

JAY BRADLEY PROMO- decent

JAY BRADLEY vs. JOSEPH PARK (w/Eric Young)-3/10
Oh. Well. No lame comedy skits. So if this match is right now, how does helping Joseph prevent EY from being at ringside for ODB’s match later (which he had said in the earlier segment)?
Jay Bradley loses cleanly in just a few minutes to Joseph Park, who, in kayfabe terms, is a scrub. How the f*ck did the Gut Check judges deem this guy worthy of a contract?
OH MY G-D SHUT UP, TENAY! He keeps brining up whatever ultimatum the MEM is going to give to Aces & Eights, and he keeps using the same f*cking phrasing. I swear if I hear the words “make them an offer they can’t refuse” one more time, I will pissed.

MEM BACKSTAGE- IDIOTIC!
Because everyone loved those Aces & Eights backstage segments so much, TNA has decided to do them with the Main Event Mafia now, too.
Apparently Kurt has waited until halfway through the show that the August 1st guy is going to crash before asking his stablemates if they know anything about it?
Kurt then asks everyone if they are willing to make some sort of sacrifice that we, the viewers, don’t know about (those my bet is that they will put their careers on the line against Aces & Eights careers). Again, wouldn’t it have been best to clear the plan with everyone before now? You know, just in case someone says no? That way they would have more than an hour to think up a backup plan.
It turns out to be a moot point, though, as everyone is fine with whatever this potential sacrifice is. Kurt then says “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse,” and, as promised, I went nuts. You don’t need to say “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse” and you don’t need to all wear sunglasses and sit around a table having a meeting BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A REAL F*CKING MAFIA! IT’S JUST A NAME (that doesn’t even make sense with this incarnation of the group because they’re not trying to control the main event spots). This is the TNA equivalent of when a wins King of the Ring and starts walking around in a red robe and demanding to be called “King Steve” or whatever. It’s f*cking idiotic!

CHRIS SABIN vs. MANIK- 7.5/10
So not only is this Sabin’s first match as TNA World Heavyweight Champion, but it is also a champion vs. champion match… and it’s not even the main event?! WHAT THE F*CK?!
A great match, as you would expect. Bully jumps Sabin after the match. This was good. Then, after Manik’s attempt at making the save causes enough of a distraction, Sabin, who had just gone through a grueling match and been hit with Bully’s chain, fights Bully off. If Sabin can get the best of Bully in this situation, what chance does Bully stand when Sabin is fresh? This just kills all interest in the title match at Hardcore Justice.
Also, I love how the announcers (and Hogan) seem to think that a cage will keep Aces & Eights from interfering in the match. Anyone remember the last cage match TNA had? You know, the one where Aces & Eights guys climbed into the cage TWICE?!

During this match, Tenay hypes up “the big Hardcore Justice event that’s going to be here on free TV on Spike on August the 15th.” Which means that TNA has cancelled Destination X and Hardcore Justice as Pay-Per-Views only to now give them away for free on TV. Morons.


TAZ PROMO- he says he is pissed because Hogan won’t let him in, so he is going to expose who the August 1st guy is. Taz goes up to the stretch hummer which we assume contains the August 1st person and goes to open the door. My first thought is “how hilarious would it be if this was just a random limo and the August 1st person was already in the building?” What we got… was idiotic.
Taz opens the door (which is conveniently left unlocked in a public parking lot) to reveal… a laptop that apparently was set to autoplay another one of these dumb promos whenever someone opened the door to the limo. So this person wasted a chunk of money to rent a stretch hummer to drive A LAPTOP to a parking lot ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SOMEONE DECIDED TO WALK UP TO THE LIMO AND OPEN THE DOOR?!
Oh… and despite the fact that this is supposedly live, the sky outside is a clear bright blue at NINE O’CLOCK AT NIGHT!

James Storm is apparently Tweeting the second hour of Impact. Fine. But why doesn’t he have his tag team title belt with him?

KAZ & DANIELS PROMO- Kaz and Daniels are unhappy that the fans are going to make them wrestle each other… but everyone faces everyone in the BFG Series anyway, so it would have happened no matter what. Then they tease dissension. This was fine, but no one really thinks that they are going to break up, as that would now leave TNA with just two tag teams, both of them babyfaces.

GAIL KIM vs. ODB- 2/10
So we are back to a male referee with the Knockouts. Why is this all of a sudden okay now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

AJ STYLES PROMO- good

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully cut an eh promo. Then Brooke shows up and tries to be a snarky badass by claiming that she has heard that things in the contract for the title match at Hardcore Justice are not in Bully’s favor and implies that things will be bad for Bully if he doesn’t give her a divorce.
1) YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE’S CONSENT! This is not the middle ages where the man has all the say!
2) So not only did Sabin kick Bully’s ass earlier, but the stips of the match will give Sabin an advantage? How the f*ck is that supposed to make someone want to see the match?!

AJ STYLES vs. AUSTIN ARIES- 8/10
Throughout the night, the announcers kept hyping this up as a “dream match” put together by the fans… which makes me ask “if you have had this dream match sitting on your roster for two years, how f*cking stupid are the people running this company that they didn’t book it yet (especially on a PPV)?

With both the MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights and the August 1st reveal still to come, I was very afraid that TNA wouldn’t give this time, but they gave it almost twenty minutes, and of course AJ and Aries delivered. An awesome match with some awesome execution on the finish. I don’t think I have ever seen that finish executed so well.

THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA MAKE THEIR OFFER TO ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
For some reason Bully does not come out with the Aces & Eights. We get some crappy promos, then the MEM reveal their offer: A ten man stag team match at Hardcore Justice in which the guy who takes the fall must leave TNA forever. This is stupid for two reasons:
1) If the MEM want to get rid of Aces & Eights, why not propose a match where if they lose, ALL of them have to leave TNA forever (and, being babyfaces, they could put all of their careers on the line, too)?
2) Aces & Eights are heels. What assurances do we that that they will abide by this stip if they lose?

So then we got one of the most pathetic-looking brawls I have ever seen, in which the MEM easily dispatch the Aces & Eights. Then Anderson accepts the challenge. Then this happens…

THE AUGUST 1ST GUY IS TITO ORTIZ- DUD!
1) I have no reason to care about the fact that the guy who sucked balls as a referee in 2005 is now here. Apparently his next Bellator fight will be against Rampage… which is something the announcers should have told us immediately.
2) If, as all of those stupid August 1st Warning videos said, Tito doesn’t work for TNA or Spike TV, HOW THE HELL DID HE GET BACKSTAGE AND HAVE ENTRANCE MUSIC?
3) All this chump did was stand on the f*cking ramp. If you are going to put out videos called August 1st “Warning,” you need to either warn us about something or do something drastic like kick someone’s ass to warn everyone that you are an ass-kicking badass. Just standing on the ramp does not cut it.
4) Hey, TNA, here is a novel idea: If you want to put on a good pro wrestling show… STOP HIRING RANDOM OLD MMA GUYS AND START HIRING SOME F*CKING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS!

Overall, this show was GREAT in the ring… especially by Impact standards, but most of the booking, especially the “build” (if you can even call it that) to Hardcore Justice was just atrociously ass-backwards.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Mike Tenay miscalled a Samoan Drop as a Fall Away Slam. “The Professor,” ladies and gentlemen.

2. Tenay “Chris Sabin goes to TNA Management; goes to Impact Wrestling and says ‘I want a matchup against Manik.”
FALSE! Those of us who don’t have the memory of a goldfish and actually remember important points on last week’s show will tell you Sabin asked for a match against whoever would win the X-Division Title later that night. It wasn’t about Manik. It was about the X-Division Title.

3. Tenay (about MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights) “How could that risk be any higher? Career on the line!”
Well… ALL of their careers could be on the line.

[badnewzxl]

I didn't like the finish of the main event, although it took little away from the match as a whole. It just felt anticlimactic.

And Ortiz as the big mystery guy is an absolute joke. TNA just fired a bunch of guys they didn't know what to do with, and they turn around and hire (even if they're splitting it with SPIKE & Bellator) another MMA guy, when you've already got two you don't know what to do with (Rampage is just stalking around with MEM and Mo has done nothing more than Ortiz has in TNA). Did TNA not learn their lesson with friggin' Pacman Jones? Stop paying people to do NOTHING!

[Big Red Machine]

I didn't like the finish of the main event, although it took little away from the match as a whole. It just felt anticlimactic.

And Ortiz as the big mystery guy is an absolute joke. TNA just fired a bunch of guys they didn't know what to do with, and they turn around and hire (even if they're splitting it with SPIKE & Bellator) another MMA guy, when you've already got two you don't know what to do with (Rampage is just stalking around with MEM and Mo has done nothing more than Ortiz has in TNA). Did TNA not learn their lesson with friggin' Pacman Jones? Stop paying people to do NOTHING!

I am currently reading R.D. Reynolds & Bryan Alvarez's Death of WCW, and between the MMA guys and the random limo rental, I can't help but think of WCW. Money-wasting at its finest.

[badnewzxl]

I didn't like the finish of the main event, although it took little away from the match as a whole. It just felt anticlimactic.

And Ortiz as the big mystery guy is an absolute joke. TNA just fired a bunch of guys they didn't know what to do with, and they turn around and hire (even if they're splitting it with SPIKE & Bellator) another MMA guy, when you've already got two you don't know what to do with (Rampage is just stalking around with MEM and Mo has done nothing more than Ortiz has in TNA). Did TNA not learn their lesson with friggin' Pacman Jones? Stop paying people to do NOTHING!

I am currently reading R.D. Reynolds & Bryan Alvarez's Death of WCW, and between the MMA guys and the random limo rental, I can't help but think of WCW. Money-wasting at its finest.

WCW only hired one MMA guy....the worst one to ever claim fame, lol. Tank Abbot was a good idea for about a second, then they had him singing with 3 Count #-o

[DevilWithin]

ATLAS SECURITY WON’T LET TAZ INTO THE BUILDING- You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but TNA even manages to make me angry in the way that they lock Taz out of the building! Six months ago Taz said that his contact stipulated that he couldn’t be touched and couldn’t be fired, which was why he was allowed to stay as a commentator… but now that Hogan has decreed that Taz is not allowed into the building, he is completely helpless? Why the f*ck didn’t they do this months ago?! And shouldn’t Taz, as a member of Aces & Eights, be allowed into the building anyway? And if not, why would Hogan not simply bar the Aces & Eights from the building.

TENAY & JB HYPE UP THE AUGUST 1ST WARNING- It doesn’t make any damn sense for TNA to be airing these! And if this guy is threatening to crash the show, shouldn’t Atlas Security be trying to stop HIM front entering the building?


OPENING SEGMENT- Aries was good. Roode was… almost babyface-ish in the beginning. I think Roode’s promo would have worked a lot better without Aries in the ring. Austin really just stood around and did nothing. This would have worked fine as a segment to break up the tag team… except that according to the announcers, they have apparently already broken up.

BOBBY ROODE vs. HERNANDEZ- 5/10
If you are going to do a dirty finish, there is no point in having Hernandez kick out after a low blow and with Roode grabbing the tights. That really bothered me. Something else that really bothered me as that Tenay didn’t sell this at all. He just said “yeah, he proves that it pays to be Roode” in that sort of “wrapping up the segment” kind of tone. ROODE JUST SMASHED A BEER BOTTLE OVER HERNANDEZ’S HEAD! Tenay should be outraged!
I also didn’t like the execution here. JB told us that Roode planting the beer bottle was pre-meditated (which is the only real explanation for it being there), and his promo played into that well, but Roode’s reactions here during this match (like the way he snapped on the outside) really seem like they would play better into this being a spur of the moment thing.

EY & ODB BACKSTAGE- decent. This then transitioned into a segment with EY & Joseph Park, which seems like it will set up some comedy skits for later tonight.

SABIN & TJP BACKSTAGE- good, but if they are trying to go with this whole “Manik has been the rebirth of TJP” thing, they really should have given him a new costume to go along with it. One thing I really liked here was that they didn’t show TJ’s face at all. As TJ said, the Suicide Manik mask is the face of the X-Division, and therefore TJ’s face doesn’t matter.

JAY BRADLEY PROMO- decent

JAY BRADLEY vs. JOSEPH PARK (w/Eric Young)-3/10
Oh. Well. No lame comedy skits. So if this match is right now, how does helping Joseph prevent EY from being at ringside for ODB’s match later (which he had said in the earlier segment)?
Jay Bradley loses cleanly in just a few minutes to Joseph Park, who, in kayfabe terms, is a scrub. How the f*ck did the Gut Check judges deem this guy worthy of a contract?
OH MY G-D SHUT UP, TENAY! He keeps brining up whatever ultimatum the MEM is going to give to Aces & Eights, and he keeps using the same f*cking phrasing. I swear if I hear the words “make them an offer they can’t refuse” one more time, I will pissed.

MEM BACKSTAGE- IDIOTIC!
Because everyone loved those Aces & Eights backstage segments so much, TNA has decided to do them with the Main Event Mafia now, too.
Apparently Kurt has waited until halfway through the show that the August 1st guy is going to crash before asking his stablemates if they know anything about it?
Kurt then asks everyone if they are willing to make some sort of sacrifice that we, the viewers, don’t know about (those my bet is that they will put their careers on the line against Aces & Eights careers). Again, wouldn’t it have been best to clear the plan with everyone before now? You know, just in case someone says no? That way they would have more than an hour to think up a backup plan.
It turns out to be a moot point, though, as everyone is fine with whatever this potential sacrifice is. Kurt then says “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse,” and, as promised, I went nuts. You don’t need to say “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse” and you don’t need to all wear sunglasses and sit around a table having a meeting BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A REAL F*CKING MAFIA! IT’S JUST A NAME (that doesn’t even make sense with this incarnation of the group because they’re not trying to control the main event spots). This is the TNA equivalent of when a wins King of the Ring and starts walking around in a red robe and demanding to be called “King Steve” or whatever. It’s f*cking idiotic!

CHRIS SABIN vs. MANIK- 7.5/10
So not only is this Sabin’s first match as TNA World Heavyweight Champion, but it is also a champion vs. champion match… and it’s not even the main event?! WHAT THE F*CK?!
A great match, as you would expect. Bully jumps Sabin after the match. This was good. Then, after Manik’s attempt at making the save causes enough of a distraction, Sabin, who had just gone through a grueling match and been hit with Bully’s chain, fights Bully off. If Sabin can get the best of Bully in this situation, what chance does Bully stand when Sabin is fresh? This just kills all interest in the title match at Hardcore Justice.
Also, I love how the announcers (and Hogan) seem to think that a cage will keep Aces & Eights from interfering in the match. Anyone remember the last cage match TNA had? You know, the one where Aces & Eights guys climbed into the cage TWICE?!

During this match, Tenay hypes up “the big Hardcore Justice event that’s going to be here on free TV on Spike on August the 15th.” Which means that TNA has cancelled Destination X and Hardcore Justice as Pay-Per-Views only to now give them away for free on TV. Morons.


TAZ PROMO- he says he is pissed because Hogan won’t let him in, so he is going to expose who the August 1st guy is. Taz goes up to the stretch hummer which we assume contains the August 1st person and goes to open the door. My first thought is “how hilarious would it be if this was just a random limo and the August 1st person was already in the building?” What we got… was idiotic.
Taz opens the door (which is conveniently left unlocked in a public parking lot) to reveal… a laptop that apparently was set to autoplay another one of these dumb promos whenever someone opened the door to the limo. So this person wasted a chunk of money to rent a stretch hummer to drive A LAPTOP to a parking lot ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SOMEONE DECIDED TO WALK UP TO THE LIMO AND OPEN THE DOOR?!
Oh… and despite the fact that this is supposedly live, the sky outside is a clear bright blue at NINE O’CLOCK AT NIGHT!

James Storm is apparently Tweeting the second hour of Impact. Fine. But why doesn’t he have his tag team title belt with him?

KAZ & DANIELS PROMO- Kaz and Daniels are unhappy that the fans are going to make them wrestle each other… but everyone faces everyone in the BFG Series anyway, so it would have happened no matter what. Then they tease dissension. This was fine, but no one really thinks that they are going to break up, as that would now leave TNA with just two tag teams, both of them babyfaces.

GAIL KIM vs. ODB- 2/10
So we are back to a male referee with the Knockouts. Why is this all of a sudden okay now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

AJ STYLES PROMO- good

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully cut an eh promo. Then Brooke shows up and tries to be a snarky badass by claiming that she has heard that things in the contract for the title match at Hardcore Justice are not in Bully’s favor and implies that things will be bad for Bully if he doesn’t give her a divorce.
1) YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE’S CONSENT! This is not the middle ages where the man has all the say!
2) So not only did Sabin kick Bully’s ass earlier, but the stips of the match will give Sabin an advantage? How the f*ck is that supposed to make someone want to see the match?!

AJ STYLES vs. AUSTIN ARIES- 8/10
Throughout the night, the announcers kept hyping this up as a “dream match” put together by the fans… which makes me ask “if you have had this dream match sitting on your roster for two years, how f*cking stupid are the people running this company that they didn’t book it yet (especially on a PPV)?

With both the MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights and the August 1st reveal still to come, I was very afraid that TNA wouldn’t give this time, but they gave it almost twenty minutes, and of course AJ and Aries delivered. An awesome match with some awesome execution on the finish. I don’t think I have ever seen that finish executed so well.

THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA MAKE THEIR OFFER TO ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
For some reason Bully does not come out with the Aces & Eights. We get some crappy promos, then the MEM reveal their offer: A ten man stag team match at Hardcore Justice in which the guy who takes the fall must leave TNA forever. This is stupid for two reasons:
1) If the MEM want to get rid of Aces & Eights, why not propose a match where if they lose, ALL of them have to leave TNA forever (and, being babyfaces, they could put all of their careers on the line, too)?
2) Aces & Eights are heels. What assurances do we that that they will abide by this stip if they lose?

So then we got one of the most pathetic-looking brawls I have ever seen, in which the MEM easily dispatch the Aces & Eights. Then Anderson accepts the challenge. Then this happens…

THE AUGUST 1ST GUY IS TITO ORTIZ- DUD!
1) I have no reason to care about the fact that the guy who sucked balls as a referee in 2005 is now here. Apparently his next Bellator fight will be against Rampage… which is something the announcers should have told us immediately.
2) If, as all of those stupid August 1st Warning videos said, Tito doesn’t work for TNA or Spike TV, HOW THE HELL DID HE GET BACKSTAGE AND HAVE ENTRANCE MUSIC?
3) All this chump did was stand on the f*cking ramp. If you are going to put out videos called August 1st “Warning,” you need to either warn us about something or do something drastic like kick someone’s ass to warn everyone that you are an ass-kicking badass. Just standing on the ramp does not cut it.
4) Hey, TNA, here is a novel idea: If you want to put on a good pro wrestling show… STOP HIRING RANDOM OLD MMA GUYS AND START HIRING SOME F*CKING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS!

Overall, this show was GREAT in the ring… especially by Impact standards, but most of the booking, especially the “build” (if you can even call it that) to Hardcore Justice was just atrociously ass-backwards.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Mike Tenay miscalled a Samoan Drop as a Fall Away Slam. “The Professor,” ladies and gentlemen.

2. Tenay “Chris Sabin goes to TNA Management; goes to Impact Wrestling and says ‘I want a matchup against Manik.”
FALSE! Those of us who don’t have the memory of a goldfish and actually remember important points on last week’s show will tell you Sabin asked for a match against whoever would win the X-Division Title later that night. It wasn’t about Manik. It was about the X-Division Title.

3. Tenay (about MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights) “How could that risk be any higher? Career on the line!”
Well… ALL of their careers could be on the line.

Because TAZ is much less likely to attack than Aces 'N Eights. Little at a time anyways, that would be rushing what they're slowly building.

Not to mention Bradley looked like SUCH! A FUCKIN IDIOT! Slammin a mothafuck's head into the post...wearing protective headgear? Seriously like what in fuck is wrong with this guy, kayfabe and non, for that matter...

So now you like the whole new face/found a face thing with Manik and TJ? It wasn't that long ago you hated the whole entire thing with a passion.

You do know they were in Africa, right? You know....Where it's day there when it's dark out here?

I sensed no toughness or anything of the like from Brooke. At all. Just providing need to know information. If anything I'd say there's still a possibility of a heel turn there...The part about happy wife happy life...could have more to it than realized. And no, you can't. Both sides have to sign the divorce papers , and if one doesn't agree to it, one just won't sign. Happens all the time, cabron.

That AJ Aries finish was a CROCK! AJ's leg was fuckin up! Kicked hard or not, he got his leg into the air. Whether it was kayfabe or not...Not a good job by the ref here. Unless I'm just wrong and for some reason AJ didn't qualify for kickin' out, but all I know is: He was not fully and entirely down that whole time.

[DevilWithin]

And for the record:That censored at the bottom, was nothing terribly outrageous at all, nor was it meant in that light...I'm surprised we've got swearing covered in more than one language round here...

[Big Red Machine]

ATLAS SECURITY WON’T LET TAZ INTO THE BUILDING- You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but TNA even manages to make me angry in the way that they lock Taz out of the building! Six months ago Taz said that his contact stipulated that he couldn’t be touched and couldn’t be fired, which was why he was allowed to stay as a commentator… but now that Hogan has decreed that Taz is not allowed into the building, he is completely helpless? Why the f*ck didn’t they do this months ago?! And shouldn’t Taz, as a member of Aces & Eights, be allowed into the building anyway? And if not, why would Hogan not simply bar the Aces & Eights from the building.

TENAY & JB HYPE UP THE AUGUST 1ST WARNING- It doesn’t make any damn sense for TNA to be airing these! And if this guy is threatening to crash the show, shouldn’t Atlas Security be trying to stop HIM front entering the building?


OPENING SEGMENT- Aries was good. Roode was… almost babyface-ish in the beginning. I think Roode’s promo would have worked a lot better without Aries in the ring. Austin really just stood around and did nothing. This would have worked fine as a segment to break up the tag team… except that according to the announcers, they have apparently already broken up.

BOBBY ROODE vs. HERNANDEZ- 5/10
If you are going to do a dirty finish, there is no point in having Hernandez kick out after a low blow and with Roode grabbing the tights. That really bothered me. Something else that really bothered me as that Tenay didn’t sell this at all. He just said “yeah, he proves that it pays to be Roode” in that sort of “wrapping up the segment” kind of tone. ROODE JUST SMASHED A BEER BOTTLE OVER HERNANDEZ’S HEAD! Tenay should be outraged!
I also didn’t like the execution here. JB told us that Roode planting the beer bottle was pre-meditated (which is the only real explanation for it being there), and his promo played into that well, but Roode’s reactions here during this match (like the way he snapped on the outside) really seem like they would play better into this being a spur of the moment thing.

EY & ODB BACKSTAGE- decent. This then transitioned into a segment with EY & Joseph Park, which seems like it will set up some comedy skits for later tonight.

SABIN & TJP BACKSTAGE- good, but if they are trying to go with this whole “Manik has been the rebirth of TJP” thing, they really should have given him a new costume to go along with it. One thing I really liked here was that they didn’t show TJ’s face at all. As TJ said, the Suicide Manik mask is the face of the X-Division, and therefore TJ’s face doesn’t matter.

JAY BRADLEY PROMO- decent

JAY BRADLEY vs. JOSEPH PARK (w/Eric Young)-3/10
Oh. Well. No lame comedy skits. So if this match is right now, how does helping Joseph prevent EY from being at ringside for ODB’s match later (which he had said in the earlier segment)?
Jay Bradley loses cleanly in just a few minutes to Joseph Park, who, in kayfabe terms, is a scrub. How the f*ck did the Gut Check judges deem this guy worthy of a contract?
OH MY G-D SHUT UP, TENAY! He keeps brining up whatever ultimatum the MEM is going to give to Aces & Eights, and he keeps using the same f*cking phrasing. I swear if I hear the words “make them an offer they can’t refuse” one more time, I will pissed.

MEM BACKSTAGE- IDIOTIC!
Because everyone loved those Aces & Eights backstage segments so much, TNA has decided to do them with the Main Event Mafia now, too.
Apparently Kurt has waited until halfway through the show that the August 1st guy is going to crash before asking his stablemates if they know anything about it?
Kurt then asks everyone if they are willing to make some sort of sacrifice that we, the viewers, don’t know about (those my bet is that they will put their careers on the line against Aces & Eights careers). Again, wouldn’t it have been best to clear the plan with everyone before now? You know, just in case someone says no? That way they would have more than an hour to think up a backup plan.
It turns out to be a moot point, though, as everyone is fine with whatever this potential sacrifice is. Kurt then says “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse,” and, as promised, I went nuts. You don’t need to say “we’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse” and you don’t need to all wear sunglasses and sit around a table having a meeting BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A REAL F*CKING MAFIA! IT’S JUST A NAME (that doesn’t even make sense with this incarnation of the group because they’re not trying to control the main event spots). This is the TNA equivalent of when a wins King of the Ring and starts walking around in a red robe and demanding to be called “King Steve” or whatever. It’s f*cking idiotic!

CHRIS SABIN vs. MANIK- 7.5/10
So not only is this Sabin’s first match as TNA World Heavyweight Champion, but it is also a champion vs. champion match… and it’s not even the main event?! WHAT THE F*CK?!
A great match, as you would expect. Bully jumps Sabin after the match. This was good. Then, after Manik’s attempt at making the save causes enough of a distraction, Sabin, who had just gone through a grueling match and been hit with Bully’s chain, fights Bully off. If Sabin can get the best of Bully in this situation, what chance does Bully stand when Sabin is fresh? This just kills all interest in the title match at Hardcore Justice.
Also, I love how the announcers (and Hogan) seem to think that a cage will keep Aces & Eights from interfering in the match. Anyone remember the last cage match TNA had? You know, the one where Aces & Eights guys climbed into the cage TWICE?!

During this match, Tenay hypes up “the big Hardcore Justice event that’s going to be here on free TV on Spike on August the 15th.” Which means that TNA has cancelled Destination X and Hardcore Justice as Pay-Per-Views only to now give them away for free on TV. Morons.


TAZ PROMO- he says he is pissed because Hogan won’t let him in, so he is going to expose who the August 1st guy is. Taz goes up to the stretch hummer which we assume contains the August 1st person and goes to open the door. My first thought is “how hilarious would it be if this was just a random limo and the August 1st person was already in the building?” What we got… was idiotic.
Taz opens the door (which is conveniently left unlocked in a public parking lot) to reveal… a laptop that apparently was set to autoplay another one of these dumb promos whenever someone opened the door to the limo. So this person wasted a chunk of money to rent a stretch hummer to drive A LAPTOP to a parking lot ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SOMEONE DECIDED TO WALK UP TO THE LIMO AND OPEN THE DOOR?!
Oh… and despite the fact that this is supposedly live, the sky outside is a clear bright blue at NINE O’CLOCK AT NIGHT!

James Storm is apparently Tweeting the second hour of Impact. Fine. But why doesn’t he have his tag team title belt with him?

KAZ & DANIELS PROMO- Kaz and Daniels are unhappy that the fans are going to make them wrestle each other… but everyone faces everyone in the BFG Series anyway, so it would have happened no matter what. Then they tease dissension. This was fine, but no one really thinks that they are going to break up, as that would now leave TNA with just two tag teams, both of them babyfaces.

GAIL KIM vs. ODB- 2/10
So we are back to a male referee with the Knockouts. Why is this all of a sudden okay now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

AJ STYLES PROMO- good

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully cut an eh promo. Then Brooke shows up and tries to be a snarky badass by claiming that she has heard that things in the contract for the title match at Hardcore Justice are not in Bully’s favor and implies that things will be bad for Bully if he doesn’t give her a divorce.
1) YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE’S CONSENT! This is not the middle ages where the man has all the say!
2) So not only did Sabin kick Bully’s ass earlier, but the stips of the match will give Sabin an advantage? How the f*ck is that supposed to make someone want to see the match?!

AJ STYLES vs. AUSTIN ARIES- 8/10
Throughout the night, the announcers kept hyping this up as a “dream match” put together by the fans… which makes me ask “if you have had this dream match sitting on your roster for two years, how f*cking stupid are the people running this company that they didn’t book it yet (especially on a PPV)?

With both the MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights and the August 1st reveal still to come, I was very afraid that TNA wouldn’t give this time, but they gave it almost twenty minutes, and of course AJ and Aries delivered. An awesome match with some awesome execution on the finish. I don’t think I have ever seen that finish executed so well.

THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA MAKE THEIR OFFER TO ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
For some reason Bully does not come out with the Aces & Eights. We get some crappy promos, then the MEM reveal their offer: A ten man stag team match at Hardcore Justice in which the guy who takes the fall must leave TNA forever. This is stupid for two reasons:
1) If the MEM want to get rid of Aces & Eights, why not propose a match where if they lose, ALL of them have to leave TNA forever (and, being babyfaces, they could put all of their careers on the line, too)?
2) Aces & Eights are heels. What assurances do we that that they will abide by this stip if they lose?

So then we got one of the most pathetic-looking brawls I have ever seen, in which the MEM easily dispatch the Aces & Eights. Then Anderson accepts the challenge. Then this happens…

THE AUGUST 1ST GUY IS TITO ORTIZ- DUD!
1) I have no reason to care about the fact that the guy who sucked balls as a referee in 2005 is now here. Apparently his next Bellator fight will be against Rampage… which is something the announcers should have told us immediately.
2) If, as all of those stupid August 1st Warning videos said, Tito doesn’t work for TNA or Spike TV, HOW THE HELL DID HE GET BACKSTAGE AND HAVE ENTRANCE MUSIC?
3) All this chump did was stand on the f*cking ramp. If you are going to put out videos called August 1st “Warning,” you need to either warn us about something or do something drastic like kick someone’s ass to warn everyone that you are an ass-kicking badass. Just standing on the ramp does not cut it.
4) Hey, TNA, here is a novel idea: If you want to put on a good pro wrestling show… STOP HIRING RANDOM OLD MMA GUYS AND START HIRING SOME F*CKING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS!

Overall, this show was GREAT in the ring… especially by Impact standards, but most of the booking, especially the “build” (if you can even call it that) to Hardcore Justice was just atrociously ass-backwards.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Mike Tenay miscalled a Samoan Drop as a Fall Away Slam. “The Professor,” ladies and gentlemen.

2. Tenay “Chris Sabin goes to TNA Management; goes to Impact Wrestling and says ‘I want a matchup against Manik.”
FALSE! Those of us who don’t have the memory of a goldfish and actually remember important points on last week’s show will tell you Sabin asked for a match against whoever would win the X-Division Title later that night. It wasn’t about Manik. It was about the X-Division Title.

3. Tenay (about MEM’s offer to the Aces & Eights) “How could that risk be any higher? Career on the line!”
Well… ALL of their careers could be on the line.

Because TAZ is much less likely to attack than Aces 'N Eights. Little at a time anyways, that would be rushing what they're slowly building.

Not to mention Bradley looked like SUCH! A f'n IDIOT! Slammin a mothafuck's head into the post...wearing protective headgear? Seriously like what in f**k is wrong with this guy, kayfabe and non, for that matter...

So now you like the whole new face/found a face thing with Manik and TJ? It wasn't that long ago you hated the whole entire thing with a passion.

You do know they were in Africa, right? You know....Where it's day there when it's dark out here?

I sensed no toughness or anything of the like from Brooke. At all. Just providing need to know information. If anything I'd say there's still a possibility of a heel turn there...The part about happy wife happy life...could have more to it than realized. And no, you can't. Both sides have to sign the divorce papers , and if one doesn't agree to it, one just won't sign. Happens all the time, *censored*.

That AJ Aries finish was a CROCK! AJ's leg was f'n up! Kicked hard or not, he got his leg into the air. Whether it was kayfabe or not...Not a good job by the ref here. Unless I'm just wrong and for some reason AJ didn't qualify for kickin' out, but all I know is: He was not fully and entirely down that whole time.

What do you mean that Taz is less likely to attack than Aces & Eights? Taz is part of Aces & Eights. It's a wonder that he didn't call them and have them beat up security.

Don't get me wrong. I think that the new name is dumb and leaving him in the Suicide costume was a mistake, but at least they are doing part of this right. Whenever you can make some directorial decisions that enhance your themes, that is a good thing.

Can't tell if you're kidding or not. Tenay told us that they were in Texas.

There are precautions in place to ensure that if an at-fault spouse doesn't want a divorce but an innocent spouse does, the innocent spouse can get his/her divorce anyway, especially in cases where cruelty is involved or the marriage was entered into under false pretenses (I'm not saying Bully was beating Brooke, but he certainly has been an asshole to her, and I don't think it would be hard to prove that the marriage was entered into under false pretenses when we have tape of Bully saying "I never loved you" and "I only used you to get to your father" and such things).

AJ's legs are irrelevant! It's his shoulders that matter, and those weren't up. Am I the only one who liked this finish?

[DevilWithin]

Taz has that old injury...He's damn near crippled as far as getting physical and wrestling shit, at least I see him that way. He's much less of a threat.

Oh of course, running with things like that's always a plus.

Oh...I'd'a swore I heard Taz say somethin about "Hogan got me standin out here like a jerk in Africa!" ...Whoops.

Still...It's not THAT farfetched...Ways around it or not.

So since he wasn't pinned by Aries horizontally this man gettin the damn leg up...you know, for a kickout, doesn't count here? Like I said unless I'm missing some kinda reason here like a loophole, I'm pretty damn sure it was not a three count.

[Big Red Machine]

Taz has that old injury...He's damn near crippled as far as getting physical and wrestling s**t, at least I see him that way. He's much less of a threat.

Oh of course, running with things like that's always a plus.

Oh...I'd'a swore I heard Taz say somethin about "Hogan got me standin out here like a jerk in Africa!" ...Whoops.

Still...It's not THAT farfetched...Ways around it or not.

So since he wasn't pinned by Aries horizontally this man gettin the damn leg up...you know, for a kickout, doesn't count here? Like I said unless I'm missing some kinda reason here like a loophole, I'm pretty damn sure it was not a three count.

1. So why wouldn't Taz call Aces & Eights to beat the security guys up.

3. Taz refereed to it as "African heat," meaning it was very hot outside.

5. Legs are entirely irrelevant for a pin. "Kicking out" is using the power of your legs to propel your whole body upwards so that your shoulders break contact with the mat. That's how it has always been since the beginning of time.

[cero2k]

GAIL KIM vs. ODB- 2/10
So we are back to a male referee with the Knockouts. Why is this all of a sudden okay now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

did they ever explained why it was not ok for a man to ref a KOs match?

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully cut an eh promo. Then Brooke shows up and tries to be a snarky badass by claiming that she has heard that things in the contract for the title match at Hardcore Justice are not in Bully’s favor and implies that things will be bad for Bully if he doesn’t give her a divorce.
1) YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE’S CONSENT! This is not the middle ages where the man has all the say!
2) So not only did Sabin kick Bully’s ass earlier, but the stips of the match will give Sabin an advantage? How the f*ck is that supposed to make someone want to see the match?!

I'm calling it now, Hogan and Brooke will trick Ray to sign the divorce papers during the Hardcore Justice rematch contract signing

THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA MAKE THEIR OFFER TO ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
For some reason Bully does not come out with the Aces & Eights. We get some crappy promos, then the MEM reveal their offer: A ten man stag team match at Hardcore Justice in which the guy who takes the fall must leave TNA forever. This is stupid for two reasons:
1) If the MEM want to get rid of Aces & Eights, why not propose a match where if they lose, ALL of them have to leave TNA forever (and, being babyfaces, they could put all of their careers on the line, too)?
2) Aces & Eights are heels. What assurances do we that that they will abide by this stip if they lose?

just be happy, come August 15, this angle will likely be over, and on to the next invading group

[DevilWithin]

Taz has that old injury...He's damn near crippled as far as getting physical and wrestling s**t, at least I see him that way. He's much less of a threat.

Oh of course, running with things like that's always a plus.

Oh...I'd'a swore I heard Taz say somethin about "Hogan got me standin out here like a jerk in Africa!" ...Whoops.

Still...It's not THAT farfetched...Ways around it or not.

So since he wasn't pinned by Aries horizontally this man gettin the damn leg up...you know, for a kickout, doesn't count here? Like I said unless I'm missing some kinda reason here like a loophole, I'm pretty damn sure it was not a three count.

1. So why wouldn't Taz call Aces & Eights to beat the security guys up.

3. Taz refereed to it as "African heat," meaning it was very hot outside.

5. Legs are entirely irrelevant for a pin. "Kicking out" is using the power of your legs to propel your whole body upwards so that your shoulders break contact with the mat. That's how it has always been since the beginning of time.

No reception in that huge arena that's built from shit that interferes with signal? LOL IDK there.

3. Right on then. I knew I caught somethin like that. But yea, dummies. Talkin bout 9 o clock....Why would you do that? lol

5.Never noticed. And yea, ok, beginning of time...Cuz I know Cavemen was kickin out of pinfalls like that all the time, lol ;P Does make sense, thinking of how a leg can be hooked for a pinfall and it still counts, I suppose.

[Big Red Machine]

GAIL KIM vs. ODB- 2/10
So we are back to a male referee with the Knockouts. Why is this all of a sudden okay now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

did they ever explained why it was not ok for a man to ref a KOs match?

No, but the hiring of Taryn and the need to hire ODB as a ref seemed to make it clear that it was, for some reason, necesarry to have a female ref. Maybe Brooke assumed that female refs would be immune to being seduced by the Knockouts, like Madison did to Hebner (because apparently TNA believes that all women are heterosexual).

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully cut an eh promo. Then Brooke shows up and tries to be a snarky badass by claiming that she has heard that things in the contract for the title match at Hardcore Justice are not in Bully’s favor and implies that things will be bad for Bully if he doesn’t give her a divorce.
1) YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE WITHOUT THE SPOUSE’S CONSENT! This is not the middle ages where the man has all the say!
2) So not only did Sabin kick Bully’s ass earlier, but the stips of the match will give Sabin an advantage? How the f*ck is that supposed to make someone want to see the match?!

I'm calling it now, Hogan and Brooke will trick Ray to sign the divorce papers during the Hardcore Justice rematch contract signing

Not trick him. They're going to force him to do so with ridiculous stips.

THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA MAKE THEIR OFFER TO ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
For some reason Bully does not come out with the Aces & Eights. We get some crappy promos, then the MEM reveal their offer: A ten man stag team match at Hardcore Justice in which the guy who takes the fall must leave TNA forever. This is stupid for two reasons:
1) If the MEM want to get rid of Aces & Eights, why not propose a match where if they lose, ALL of them have to leave TNA forever (and, being babyfaces, they could put all of their careers on the line, too)?
2) Aces & Eights are heels. What assurances do we that that they will abide by this stip if they lose?

just be happy, come August 15, this angle will likely be over, and on to the next invading group

This stip ensures that it won't be over on August 15th because only one Aces & Eights guy (and the smart money says it will be Knux) will have to leave.

[Big Red Machine]

5.Never noticed. And yea, ok, beginning of time...Cuz I know Cavemen was kickin out of pinfalls like that all the time, lol ;P Does make sense, thinking of how a leg can be hooked for a pinfall and it still counts, I suppose.

Of course! You have clearly never heard of the famous. Urk vs. Glug Death Valley Rift Wooden Club Deathmatch from CCW (Caveman Championship Wrestling). Dave Meltzer gave it five rocks. Learn your history, Dozer!

[DevilWithin]

Speaking of next week...Spoilers coming soon.

[cero2k]

just be happy, come August 15, this angle will likely be over, and on to the next invading group

This stip ensures that it won't be over on August 15th because only one Aces & Eights guy (and the smart money says it will be Knux) will have to leave.

ohh ok, totally misread it then, i thought it was a loser leaves town match for the whole team. yeah, Knux makes sense, maybe this could write off Taz who had been rumored to be leaving TNA, maybe this writes off Rampage who eventually has to go train for MMA.

[Big Red Machine]

just be happy, come August 15, this angle will likely be over, and on to the next invading group

This stip ensures that it won't be over on August 15th because only one Aces & Eights guy (and the smart money says it will be Knux) will have to leave.

ohh ok, totally misread it then, i thought it was a loser leaves town match for the whole team. yeah, Knux makes sense, maybe this could write off Taz who had been rumored to be leaving TNA, maybe this writes off Rampage who eventually has to go train for MMA.

Didn't Taz just sign a new three year contract last month?

Yeah, Rampage is another possible loser. Maybe they'll have Ortiz cost him the match to build to their Bellator fight.

[cero2k]

Didn't Taz just sign a new three year contract last month?

Yeah, Rampage is another possible loser. Maybe they'll have Ortiz cost him the match to build to their Bellator fight.

aw man, i can't remember, I just remember the rumors that his contract was up and was considering jumping to WWE, who didn't want him back.

Also, on the KOs ref thing, consider that for a while, Joey Ryan was the ref, and if it were important, you really shouldn't use the one ref you know can easily get distracted by boobs

[Big Red Machine]

Didn't Taz just sign a new three year contract last month?

Yeah, Rampage is another possible loser. Maybe they'll have Ortiz cost him the match to build to their Bellator fight.

aw man, i can't remember, I just remember the rumors that his contract was up and was considering jumping to WWE, who didn't want him back.

Also, on the KOs ref thing, consider that for a while, Joey Ryan was the ref, and if it were important, you really shouldn't use the one ref you know can easily get distracted by boobs

Which is what I had said at the time... but then why even have Joey ref the match instead of one of the regular refs? Basically the whole thing was idiotic and only caused random inconsistencies and made people in management look like kayfabe idiots.

[badnewzxl]

I'm pretty sure the reason they stopped using male refs for the KO's matches was bc of the Earl Hebner/Madison Rayne affair, remember? Then Brooke let Joey Ryan ref and decided after then that she had to hire female refs.

They never gave this as a clear explanation but it all seemed to bleed in one direction