BRM Reviews the 4/1/2013 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

JOHN CENA PROMO- hmmm… it took a while to get going, but when it did, things got very interesting. What Cena said here is actually pretty damn heelish. It seems like the sort of thing a heel with moral integrity would say. I can definitely see a heel turn for Cena either coming at Mania, or as a result of losing at Mania (which, I know, we all said last year, too, but I still can’t think helping that it might well be coming).

3MB vs. SHEAMUS, RANDY ORTON, & THE BIG SHOW- pointless squash.
Would have been fine if we hadn’t seen Orton and Sheamus individually dismantle 3MB in the past few months. After the match, the Shield show up and cut a decent promo.

JACK SWAGGER PROMO- decent

ALBERTO DEL RIO PROMO- okay

DANIEL BRYAN (w/Kane) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E. Langston)- 6.75/10
The finish was similar to the one we got on Smackdown, but I am willing to forgive that because the match was great. More important, though, was the aftermath, which did great. The spot they did with Big E avoiding the chokeslam by just ripping Kna’es hand away from his throat was awesome. It really put Big E. over a being a strong guy.

HBK, TRIPLE H, HEYMAN, & LESNAR SEGMENT- waste of time. HBK will be in Hunter’s corner. So what?

WADE BARRETT vs. ZACK RYDER- 3.5/10

SANTINO, VICKIE, & MADDOX BACKSTAGE- good set-up for…

SANTINO MARELLA vs. MARK HENRY- no rating. Good segment to hype up Ryback vs. Henry. The only thing that would have been better is if Henry caught Santino when Ryback Press-slammed him and gave Santino another World’s Strongest Slam and came up with this extremely pissed off look on his face.

CM PUNK PROMO- awesome!

ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. ZEB COULTER (w/Jack Swagger)- no rating- AWESOME segment! Yeah, we all saw it coming, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t work.

ROCK PROMO- don’t care.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. ANTONIO CESARO- 6/10
So not only does the US Champion not even get his entrance shown, but he can’t even win a damn match when someone shows up on the outside to distract his opponent?! Other than that, the match was pretty good. In fact, while watching the match I was thinking “it’s too bad we can’t have Cesaro vs. Jericho at Mania instead.”
After the match, Fandango attacks Jericho (so pretty much the same as what happened on Smackdown)

THE FUNKADACTYLS (w/Tons of Funk) vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/Team Rhodes Scholars)- 4.5/10
Much better (and longer) than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, this probably went longer (about six minutes and a commercial break) than they will get at Wrestlemania
On commentary, Lawler makes a Bill Clinton joke because I guess he doesn’t realize that it isn’t 1999 anymore.

CLOSING SEGMENT- F*CKING AWESOME!

Overall, an awesome go-home show.

[cero2k]

3MB vs. SHEAMUS, RANDY ORTON, & THE BIG SHOW- pointless squash.
Would have been fine if we hadn’t seen Orton and Sheamus individually dismantle 3MB in the past few months. After the match, the Shield show up and cut a decent promo.

it wasn't all pointless, they needed to show that Team Overkill were all in working terms before WM

HBK, TRIPLE H, HEYMAN, & LESNAR SEGMENT- waste of time. HBK will be in Hunter’s corner. So what?

thanks god Paul Heyman was there to save the segment

SANTINO MARELLA vs. MARK HENRY- no rating. Good segment to hype up Ryback vs. Henry. The only thing that would have been better is if Henry caught Santino when Ryback Press-slammed him and gave Santino another World’s Strongest Slam and came up with this extremely pissed off look on his face.

Santino's face when Henry came out was golden!

THE FUNKADACTYLS (w/Tons of Funk) vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/Team Rhodes Scholars)- 4.5/10
Much better (and longer) than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, this probably went longer (about six minutes and a commercial break) than they will get at Wrestlemania
On commentary, Lawler makes a Bill Clinton joke because I guess he doesn’t realize that it isn’t 1999 anymore.

that awkward moment when you realize Funkadactyls vs Bellas main evented the go home RAW for wrestlemania

[Big Red Machine]

3MB vs. SHEAMUS, RANDY ORTON, & THE BIG SHOW- pointless squash.
Would have been fine if we hadn’t seen Orton and Sheamus individually dismantle 3MB in the past few months. After the match, the Shield show up and cut a decent promo.

it wasn't all pointless, they needed to show that Team Overkill were all in working terms before WM

But they did that last week on Smackdown

THE FUNKADACTYLS (w/Tons of Funk) vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/Team Rhodes Scholars)- 4.5/10
Much better (and longer) than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, this probably went longer (about six minutes and a commercial break) than they will get at Wrestlemania
On commentary, Lawler makes a Bill Clinton joke because I guess he doesn’t realize that it isn’t 1999 anymore.

that awkward moment when you realize Funkadactyls vs Bellas main evented the go home RAW for wrestlemania

LOL!