BRM Flips a Sh*t While Trying to Watch the 8/6 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- THIS IS SH*T! This is the type of heel behavior that I absolutely can’t stand! CM Punk is saying that AJ has “disrespected” him by making him defend his title in a triple threat match. In other words, the professional wrestler is claiming that his boss putting him in a professional wrestling match is “disrespectful.” I don’t know what to tell you, Punk? If you don’t want to wind up in triple threat matches occasionally, don’t be a pro wrestler!
To make all of this even worse, this is CM Punk, who has been telling us for months that he is the “best in the world” and justifying it. So why is he so worried all of a sudden? He defended his title in a triple threat match TWO MONTHS AGO and didn’t complain at all! Apparently the magic switch in Punk’s head flipped, and he changed from “confident babyface” to “whiny heel.”
Punk says that someone in AJ’s position doesn’t deserve to be disrespected: Well Johnny Ace had an even more important job than AJ and Punk was fine disrespecting him! CM PUNK… IS SUCKING UP TO SOMEONE… AND AN AUTHORITY FIGURE, NO LESS! WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON HERE?!

This was one of those sh*tty segments that tend to happen with babyface general managers with no real depth to them (all of the depth to AJ’s character seems to have vanished in the last few weeks) that is intended to let them say “I’m tough and powerful and I run the show! Even though you are bigger than me, I’ll stand up to you!” The kind of thing that just drives you nuts because the babyface GM’s personality feels so fake.
The only good part of this segment was John Cena.

CM PUNK vs. REY MYSTERIO- 6/10
The commentary for this was atrocious, and I am too angry at the suckiness of the opening segment to do a proper “Stupid Announcer Quotes,” so I’ll just give a bit of a running commentary. Lawler poops on Punk for his entirely reasonable suggestion that maybe the champ should have a match, and Cole shows us that he has no idea what the “champion’s advantage” is.
Lawler then says that the Championship deserves respect, but the champion has to earn it. So has CM Punk not earned any respect from you, Lawler? He has been WWE Champion for all but three of the past thirteen months, had tremendous matches, and defended his title cleanly. This has not earned him any respect in your eyes? Lawler also manages to botch the adage “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
Between the opening segment and the crappy commentary, I am really pissed right now. I am giving them till the end of the first hour to improve. If the show isn’t somewhat enjoyable by then, I am going to fast forward to Cena vs. Dragon, watch that, then shut it off.

WADE BARRETT RETURN VIDOE PACKAGE- NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M F*CKING TALKING ABOUT! THAT WAS AMAZING! F*CKING PERFECT! Before this, I had totally forgotten that Barrett existed. Now I can’t wait for him to come back!

DEL RIO & AJ (& RICARDO) BACKSTAGE- decent.

Then Lawler does it. He sets me off. I have blown my gasket. Lawler says “I love that our new General Manager is capable of making a snap decision like that. AJ Lee has just put Alberto Del Rio in a match.”
ARE YOU A F*CKING MORON, LAWLER? You are impressed that Del Rio said something that AJ didn’t like, so she made the quick decision to punish him by not giving him what he wants. ANY HUMAN BEING COULD DO THAT! Humans make snap decisions all the time, and it’s not particularly difficult to decide to punish someone for doing something that you don’t like by not giving them what they want!

And the specifics here make it even worse: AJ, the person in charge of making the wrestling matches for the show, has decided to punish Del Rio, the wrestler, by putting him in a wrestling match, which is the one thing he doesn’t want. If Lawler finds making a wrestling match to be impressive in this situation, then it’s a wonder that his jaw doesn’t drop in amazement every time a wrestler comes up with the idea of ducking to avoid getting hit with a clothesline!

I F*CKING HATE Jerry Lawler on commentary right now. For the first time in my life, I am LITERALLY hopping mad. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and felt myself kind of spasm a bit and realized that I had actually jumped twice. I am not even kidding here. I now know what that expression truly means thanks to Jerry Lawler’s moronic suckage. Hey Lawler, here’s a tip for you: If you don’t stop brown-nosing so hard, WWE will go bankrupted because of how many times they have to pay to have your head surgically removed from a babyface’s ass.

I can’t do this right now. I’m going to go watch Dragon vs. Nigel from Rising Above 2008 and hope I calm down. Maybe I’ll get back to this later, maybe I won’t. Feel free to comment and don't worry about spoiling the show for me. If it doesn't get any better, I want to know now so I don't waste more time watching it.

[badnewzxl]

I agree with you here almost entirely. I actually liked how AJ came out and immediately announced MATCHES; she didn't recap the recap video we'd just seen, she didn't waste time trying to tell us why these matches were made. She just announced a GREAT card. From then on, the mic work suffered on this episode. I don't even see what the point of Cena coming out was; all he did was say exactly what the King said the previous episode. Lawler was absolutely atrocious all night long; worst flip flopper ever.

[KILLdozer]

OPENING SEGMENT- THIS IS SH*T! This is the type of heel behavior that I absolutely can’t stand! CM Punk is saying that AJ has “disrespected” him by making him defend his title in a triple threat match. In other words, the professional wrestler is claiming that his boss putting him in a professional wrestling match is “disrespectful.” I don’t know what to tell you, Punk? If you don’t want to wind up in triple threat matches occasionally, don’t be a pro wrestler!
To make all of this even worse, this is CM Punk, who has been telling us for months that he is the “best in the world” and justifying it. So why is he so worried all of a sudden? He defended his title in a triple threat match TWO MONTHS AGO and didn’t complain at all! Apparently the magic switch in Punk’s head flipped, and he changed from “confident babyface” to “whiny heel.”
Punk says that someone in AJ’s position doesn’t deserve to be disrespected: Well Johnny Ace had an even more important job than AJ and Punk was fine disrespecting him! CM PUNK… IS SUCKING UP TO SOMEONE… AND AN AUTHORITY FIGURE, NO LESS! WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON HERE?!

This was one of those sh*tty segments that tend to happen with babyface general managers with no real depth to them (all of the depth to AJ’s character seems to have vanished in the last few weeks) that is intended to let them say “I’m tough and powerful and I run the show! Even though you are bigger than me, I’ll stand up to you!” The kind of thing that just drives you nuts because the babyface GM’s personality feels so fake.
The only good part of this segment was John Cena.

CM PUNK vs. REY MYSTERIO- 6/10
The commentary for this was atrocious, and I am too angry at the suckiness of the opening segment to do a proper “Stupid Announcer Quotes,” so I’ll just give a bit of a running commentary. Lawler poops on Punk for his entirely reasonable suggestion that maybe the champ should have a match, and Cole shows us that he has no idea what the “champion’s advantage” is.
Lawler then says that the Championship deserves respect, but the champion has to earn it. So has CM Punk not earned any respect from you, Lawler? He has been WWE Champion for all but three of the past thirteen months, had tremendous matches, and defended his title cleanly. This has not earned him any respect in your eyes? Lawler also manages to botch the adage “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
Between the opening segment and the crappy commentary, I am really pissed right now. I am giving them till the end of the first hour to improve. If the show isn’t somewhat enjoyable by then, I am going to fast forward to Cena vs. Dragon, watch that, then shut it off.

WADE BARRETT RETURN VIDOE PACKAGE- NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M F*CKING TALKING ABOUT! THAT WAS AMAZING! F*CKING PERFECT! Before this, I had totally forgotten that Barrett existed. Now I can’t wait for him to come back!

DEL RIO & AJ (& RICARDO) BACKSTAGE- decent.

Then Lawler does it. He sets me off. I have blown my gasket. Lawler says “I love that our new General Manager is capable of making a snap decision like that. AJ Lee has just put Alberto Del Rio in a match.”
ARE YOU A F*CKING MORON, LAWLER? You are impressed that Del Rio said something that AJ didn’t like, so she made the quick decision to punish him by not giving him what he wants. ANY HUMAN BEING COULD DO THAT! Human’s made snap decisions all the time, and it’s not particularly difficult to decide to punish someone for doing something that you don’t like by not giving them what they want!

And the specifics here make it even worse: AJ, the person in charge of making the wrestling matches for the show, has decided to punish Del Rio, the wrestler, by putting him in a wrestling match, which is the one thing he doesn’t want. If Lawler finds making a wrestling match to be impressive in this situation, then it’s a wonder that his jaw doesn’t drop in amazement every time a wrestler comes up with the idea of ducking to avoid getting hit with a clothesline!

I F*CKING HATE Jerry Lawler on commentary right. For the first time in my life, I am LITERALLY hopping mad. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and felt myself kind of spasm a bit and realized that I had actually jumped twice. I am not even kidding here. I now know what that expression truly means thanks to Jerry Lawler’s moronic suckage. Hey Lawler, here’s a tip for you: If you don’t stop brown-nosing so hard, WWE will go bankrupted because of how many times they have to pay to have your head surgically removed from a babyface’s a**.

I can’t do this right now. I’m going to go watch Dragon vs. Nigel from Rising Above 2008 and hope I calm down. Maybe I’ll get back to this later, maybe I won’t. Feel free to comment and don't worry about spoiling the show for me. If it doesn't get any better, I wan't to know now so I don't waste more time watching it.

Overreacting majorly...Got dang wtf is wrong with you ?

[cero2k]

I F*CKING HATE Jerry Lawler on commentary right. For the first time in my life, I am LITERALLY hopping mad. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and felt myself kind of spasm a bit and realized that I had actually jumped twice. I am not even kidding here. I now know what that expression truly means thanks to Jerry Lawler’s moronic suckage. Hey Lawler, here’s a tip for you: If you don’t stop brown-nosing so hard, WWE will go bankrupted because of how many times they have to pay to have your head surgically removed from a babyface’s a**.

at least you didn't have to put up with hrs of Lawler trying to sell that Sheamus did not just steal Del RIo's car. I actually had to cut the sound around the 2nd hour until Cena vs Dragon. this aside, the wrestling wasn't bad. I think I'm honestly gonna start watching raw in spanish now.

[kiel297]

I F*CKING HATE Jerry Lawler on commentary right. For the first time in my life, I am LITERALLY hopping mad. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and felt myself kind of spasm a bit and realized that I had actually jumped twice. I am not even kidding here. I now know what that expression truly means thanks to Jerry Lawler’s moronic suckage. Hey Lawler, here’s a tip for you: If you don’t stop brown-nosing so hard, WWE will go bankrupted because of how many times they have to pay to have your head surgically removed from a babyface’s a**.

at least you didn't have to put up with hrs of Lawler trying to sell that Sheamus did not just steal Del RIo's car. I actually had to cut the sound around the 2nd hour until Cena vs Dragon. this aside, the wrestling wasn't bad. I think I'm honestly gonna start watching raw in spanish now.

THIS! SO MANY TIMES THIS!

Not only have we just watched a babyface STEAL a car, but we've got the babyface announcer DEFENDING THE THEFT! Why on fucking earth does anyone think it's a good idea for your babyface announcer to defend car theft with "PFFT! He's only borrowing it! It's a joyride Cole!"

Like, WHAT?! IT'S A JOYRIDE? REALLY? THAT'S USUALLY A TERM USED TO REFER TO CAR THEFT YOU SILLY SON OF A BITCH.

[Big Red Machine]

I F*CKING HATE Jerry Lawler on commentary right. For the first time in my life, I am LITERALLY hopping mad. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and felt myself kind of spasm a bit and realized that I had actually jumped twice. I am not even kidding here. I now know what that expression truly means thanks to Jerry Lawler’s moronic suckage. Hey Lawler, here’s a tip for you: If you don’t stop brown-nosing so hard, WWE will go bankrupted because of how many times they have to pay to have your head surgically removed from a babyface’s a**.

at least you didn't have to put up with hrs of Lawler trying to sell that Sheamus did not just steal Del RIo's car. I actually had to cut the sound around the 2nd hour until Cena vs Dragon. this aside, the wrestling wasn't bad. I think I'm honestly gonna start watching raw in spanish now.

THIS! SO MANY TIMES THIS!

Not only have we just watched a babyface STEAL a car, but we've got the babyface announcer DEFENDING THE THEFT! Why on f***ing earth does anyone think it's a good idea for your babyface announcer to defend car theft with "PFFT! He's only borrowing it! It's a joyride Cole!"

Like, WHAT?! IT'S A JOYRIDE? REALLY? THAT'S USUALLY A TERM USED TO REFER TO CAR THEFT YOU SILLY SON OF A BITCH.

Damn it. Now I have to watch this and rant, too.

[cero2k]

I'm gonna say though, this show had really good use of tout. Sheamus used tout in a way that can really benefit the wrestling business.

[Serujuunin]

I agree with all of this. Honestly, it was unbearable. The only reason I was able to "watch" the whole thing is because I watched it online and just skipped or muted stuff. And I was doing other things while I was listening to it so I wasn't really paying full attention.

This was an incredibly damaging episode of RAW, I think.

[badnewzxl]

luckily for me, I had company over and we were all just trashing Lawler's stupid comments; plus the fact that that matches were DAMN good, the show was at least not ruined for me.

Furthermore, I hate that Punk is going full blow heel here; it would have been much more compelling if the Rock remained Punk's focus and the two faced off with the WWE Universe having to choose sides. Instead of having him come out and criticize the Rock the way he criticized Jeff Hardy when they were feuding for the WHC, they're essentially making the decision FOR us, which I always HATE for them to do. Ruined all the hopes I had for their match at the Rumble....

[cero2k]

luckily for me, I had company over and we were all just trashing Lawler's stupid comments; plus the fact that that matches were DAMN good, the show was at least not ruined for me.

I heard Kiel say this "you never watch a bad show by yourself, that's what makes it bad, if you watch it with someone else it at least becomes funny"

I now see the truth in his words.

[Big Red Machine]

Finally got through the rest of the show.


CHRISTIAN vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)- 4/10
Pretty good for a three minute match.

SHEAMUS STEALS DEL RIO’S CAR- HORRIBLE! They just had a top babyface COMMIT A FELONY ON LIVE TV! And for what? A CHEAP, ONE-TIME LAUGH?! ARE THE WRITERS F*CKING STUPID?!
And from a kayfabe point of view, why would Del Rio not call the cops on Sheamus? This will not only get Sheamus arrested and put in jail for a while (after all, we have video evidence of Sheamus stealing the car and millions of witnesses around the world), but Sheamus would almost certainly be stripped of the title, and Del Rio, as the #1 contender, has the strongest claim to deserving to be the champion!

As if this couldn’t get any worse, Jerry Lawler says “Oh don’t worry, he’s just borrowing it.” Every six year old child’s parents have taught that them “borrowing without asking is stealing…” and here is a grown man who we are supposed to agree with (the babyface announcer is generally the character who is supposed to represent the fans’ emotions) condoning it! And it wasn’t just right then during that segment. He continued to refer to it as “borrowing” and tell Cole not to call it “stealing” the entire night! I thought his head was up the babyfaces’ ass before, but his is unforgivable. WWE needs to have a serious talk with Lawler about this.

As bad as that was, though, let me tell you the real crime here. The thing that frustrates me the most about this segment: All of the pieces for this segment were laid perfectly. Del Rio has to park in a public area, not being prepared to have the match so he had to quickly send Ricardo back to get the bags. They even emphasized this by having Del Rio still taking his shirt off on the way down to the ring and having Ricardo be out of breath. This is the sort of planning and attention to detail that I love. The sort of thing that really enhances segments. Why, oh why could they not have devoted all of this planning to writing something GOOD!

RANDY ORTON vs. THE BIG SHOW- 5.5/10
The finish keeps both men strong, which was good because it keeps Show strong going into Summer Slam and keeps Randy strong in his return.
Then they ruin it. Looks like I spoke too soon.

HANDICAP MATCH: Ryback vs. The Kings of Change (Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks)- good segment. Ryback is now facing two contracted guys, rather than two jobbers, so it takes him a bit more time to get the win.

PRIMO & EPICO vs. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS (w/AW)- 4.5/10
I would have done the finish a lot differently. When Kofi & Truth block PTP’s path from walking out on the match, I would have had AW whisper something to them, then have PTP charge Kofi and Truth and start brawling with them. R-Truth and Kofi fighting back would cause Primo and Epico to be DQed, robbing them of a win that they deserved, getting heels a cheap win, and making AW look smart. This would also build to a tag title match in a way that would make PTP look better (after all, they beat Kofi and R-Truth in singles matches, so why were they afraid of them here?). It also put Primo & Epico in a better spot, as they could be pissed at Truth and Kofi, setting them up for a program with either team or a three way feud after Summer Slam.

DAMIEN SANDOW PROMO- great!

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. BRODUS CLAY (w/the Funkadactyls)- no rating. GREAT segment.

AJ & DRAGON SEGMENT- HORRIBLE! Dragon and AJ enjoy saying “YES!” and “NO!” WE GET IT. ENOUGH ALREADY! This was also just weird because, when she was sitting down, AJ’s white business suit looked like a bathrobe.

KELLY KELLY vs. EVE TORRES- 2/10

HBK, BROCK, & HEYMAN SEGMENT- eh. All of the promos were good, but Brock leaving just felt awkward. It made sense, because HBK and Triple H could definitely take him 2-on-1, but it still felt awkward for Brock to leave.

ALEX RILEY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Vickie Guerrero)- 3.75/10

KANE vs. THE MIZ- 2.5/10
The IC Champ loses in four minutes. Why?

THE CAR IS BACK- well… at least he brought it back, but he still stole and vandalized a car. Why has Del Rio not called the cops yet?

JOHN CENA vs. DANIEL BRYAN- 7/10
Great finishing sequence

PUNK, SHOW, & CENA AFTER THE MATCH- dumb, aside from the promo. Show took no damage at all, and yet he is down for the count? Cena pushing Punk out of the way looked awkward and lame. Punk’s promo was awesome, but they should have ended the show there.

Overall, a very, very, very bad episode of Raw. Jerry Lawler needs to go.

[cero2k]

PUNK, SHOW, & CENA AFTER THE MATCH- dumb, aside from the promo. Show took no damage at all, and yet he is down for the count? Cena pushing Punk out of the way looked awkward and lame. Punk’s promo was awesome, but they should have ended the show there.

Overall, a very, very, very bad episode of Raw. Jerry Lawler needs to go.

I found it awkward that he did the promo on the headset and not the mic, it must've been weird for the people there

[Big Red Machine]

PUNK, SHOW, & CENA AFTER THE MATCH- dumb, aside from the promo. Show took no damage at all, and yet he is down for the count? Cena pushing Punk out of the way looked awkward and lame. Punk’s promo was awesome, but they should have ended the show there.

Overall, a very, very, very bad episode of Raw. Jerry Lawler needs to go.

I found it awkward that he did the promo on the headset and not the mic, it must've been weird for the people there

That too

[badnewzxl]

I've prolly already said this, but despite the terrible Lawler commentary, if Raw has MATCHES this good each week, I'll LOVE Raw.

Punk v. Mysterio
Ryback v. KOC
Orton v. Show
Sandow v. Clay (two GREAT new characters facing off; AWESOME)
PTP v. E&P (always good to see a tag match)
Cena v. Dragon
Ziggler v. Riley
Kelly v. Eve (it sucked, but at least we got some Divas action)
Miz v. Kane

Give me this kinda card each week and I'm happy regardless what foolishness goes down on the mic....

[Big Red Machine]

I've prolly already said this, but despite the terrible Lawler commentary, if Raw has MATCHES this good each week, I'll LOVE Raw.

Punk v. Mysterio
Ryback v. KOC
Orton v. Show
Sandow v. Clay (two GREAT new characters facing off; AWESOME)
PTP v. E&P (always good to see a tag match)
Cena v. Dragon
Ziggler v. Riley
Kelly v. Eve (it sucked, but at least we got some Divas action)
Miz v. Kane

Give me this kinda card each week and I'm happy regardless what foolishness goes down on the mic....

The card was good on paper, but nothing aside from Dragon vs. Cena and Show vs. Orton got any time. I'd much rather have five matches with decent time than ten short ones.

[badnewzxl]

I've prolly already said this, but despite the terrible Lawler commentary, if Raw has MATCHES this good each week, I'll LOVE Raw.

Punk v. Mysterio
Ryback v. KOC
Orton v. Show
Sandow v. Clay (two GREAT new characters facing off; AWESOME)
PTP v. E&P (always good to see a tag match)
Cena v. Dragon
Ziggler v. Riley
Kelly v. Eve (it sucked, but at least we got some Divas action)
Miz v. Kane

Give me this kinda card each week and I'm happy regardless what foolishness goes down on the mic....

The card was good on paper, but nothing aside from Dragon vs. Cena and Show vs. Orton got any time. I'd much rather have five matches with decent time than ten short ones.

Punk and Mysterio went through two commercial breaks, didn't it?

[Big Red Machine]

I've prolly already said this, but despite the terrible Lawler commentary, if Raw has MATCHES this good each week, I'll LOVE Raw.

Punk v. Mysterio
Ryback v. KOC
Orton v. Show
Sandow v. Clay (two GREAT new characters facing off; AWESOME)
PTP v. E&P (always good to see a tag match)
Cena v. Dragon
Ziggler v. Riley
Kelly v. Eve (it sucked, but at least we got some Divas action)
Miz v. Kane

Give me this kinda card each week and I'm happy regardless what foolishness goes down on the mic....

The card was good on paper, but nothing aside from Dragon vs. Cena and Show vs. Orton got any time. I'd much rather have five matches with decent time than ten short ones.

Punk and Mysterio went through two commercial breaks, didn't it?

Don't think so, but I could be wrong.

[badnewzxl]

I may just be thinking of the break before Mysterio came out; but there may be one through the match also