BRM Reviews the 3/8/2012 Impact (*snore*)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- *snore.* No one cares about this feud. I did like how Kurt tied this into his feud, though.

STING & EY BACKSTAGE- does anyone find the way Sting is acting entertaining in any way? Seriously, how does no one notice that the guy in charge of the company is kayfabe INSANE.

We KNOW that Spike TV won’t allow male-on-female violence… so 1) why is “The Network” allowing this match to happen? And 2) why should we think that a title change will take place or that this will be in any way entertaining because this rule kills any tension there might be in this match? And 3) given all of this, why would TNA book it?

TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Madison Rayne & Gail Kim(c) vs. Eric Young & ODB- 1/10. There were no flaws in the execution, but this was just a horrendous booking decision. Utterly horrendous, and Gail just looked silly at the end. If someone HAD to be pinned like that, it should have been Madison, who is a bit of a comedy character herself.

EY PROPOSES TO ODB- whatever. I’m not enjoying it, but I can’t deny that the crowd is into these two.

BULLY RAY PROMO- good.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- if he had posted this promo on our forum, I would have given it a “THIS!” Your heel should not be saying exactly what the audience is thinking to themselves.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Austin Aries(c) vs. Zema Ion- 4/10, and a bad segment.

We don’t (kayfabe) want either of these guys to be champion, so one of them cheating to beat the other doesn’t matter one bit.

STUFF WITH ABYSS’ BROTHER- goes against established continuity, so it is a major failure. Having Matt Morgan not recognize the name “Chris Parks” was even worse, as Morgan was teaming with Abyss while the name was being used on TV

STING & BULLY RAY-Sting is so unenjoyable at the moment that it makes me want to throw things.

BULLY RAY vs. BOBBY ROODE- no rating. Okay segment. Got over both of James Storms feuds

GARRETT BISCHOFF PROMO- dull

WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER TO THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Robbie E. & Rob Terry vs. Matt Morgan & Crimson- 2.25/10

GUNNER & KURT ANGLE PROMOS- good

AJ, KAZ, & DANIELS SEGMENT- a good return for Anderson, but a really bad segment. It did nothing for any explanations whatsoever, which this feud needs to have if people are going to start caring.

The whole night, Taz and Tenay tried to put over the angle that no one would want to team with Garrett because everyone hated Eric so much. This would make sense… if Garrett wasn't feuding with Eric! Also, it makes Taz & Tenay sound like idiots when all night, they can’t think of anyone who Gunner might ask to be his tag team partner, but the fans have it figured out two seconds after the question was asked, back in the opening segment

JEFF HARDY & GARRETT BISCHOFF vs. KURT ANGLE & GUNNER- 6/10. Not good enough for a main event.
Also, a side-note to Daizee Haze: If GUNNER can do the Mind-Trip better than you, you should stop using it.

I have also been given another reason to dislike Garrett now, because his entrance music sounds like the True Blood theme. Something so awesome should not be in any way associated with Garrett Bischoff.

Overall, a bad episode of Impact. Boring and dull.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz misuses the term sacrificial lamb. I thought we were done with this silliness.

[Rabid619]

This whole show stunk. Only thing i liked was Anderson's return and i agree that the whole AJ vs Kaz/Daniels feud needing something more. It just doesn't pull me in like it should, i mean i like the 3 of them but it's like making food without adding any flavor. Looks good but lacks when you actually try to eat it.

[cero2k]

This whole show stunk. Only thing i liked was Anderson's return and i agree that the whole AJ vs Kaz/Daniels feud needing something more. It just doesn't pull me in like it should, i mean i like the 3 of them but it's like making food without adding any flavor. Looks good but lacks when you actually try to eat it.

unfortunately, i don't think Anderson is the best option to add to that feud IMO

[Rabid619]

unfortunately, i don't think Anderson is the best option to add to that feud IMO

Probably yes.

[Big Red Machine]

This whole show stunk. Only thing i liked was Anderson's return and i agree that the whole AJ vs Kaz/Daniels feud needing something more. It just doesn't pull me in like it should, i mean i like the 3 of them but it's like making food without adding any flavor. Looks good but lacks when you actually try to eat it.

Great simile.