BRM Reviews the 2/16/2012 Impact (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT WITH BOBBY ROODE AND STING. Nothing we haven’t seen and heard a million times before over the past few months.

NO TIME LIMIT, NO DQ MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Bobby Roode(c) vs. Jeff Hardy- 7/10 If Sting wants to close all of the loopholes and prevent Bobby Roode from retaining cheaply… even going so far as to make it a no time limit match so Bobby can’t stall it out… why are there still count-outs? He probably should have, too, as they were outside of the ring from the beginning of the match (which started right after a commercial) all the way through the commercial break in the middle of it. A good seven or 8 minutes, at least. Then they went back out two minutes later, and stayed there until the end.
The finish also makes Sting look silly. He makes it No DQs in order to prevent Roode from retaining cheaply, but doesn’t set up any sort of precaution to stop someone from interfering?

STING & BOBBY ROODE SEGMENT (again)- Bad. If Sting is interested in justice, shouldn’t he just give Jeff another title shot (with the stip that anyone who interferes will be fired? Or maybe a cage match?)? To have Sting make #1 contender’s match (especially, as the case would turn out to be, not involving Jeff Hardy at all) makes it seem like Sting just wants the belt off of Roode because he doesn’t like him (which is what Roode, the heel who we have been told over the past few months is a horrible person, has been saying all along). This is further emphasized by the fact that Sting doesn’t do anything about similar shenanigans in, say, Knockouts’ Title matches.

ERIC YOUNG CRAP- crap.

AUSTIN ARIES & ZEMA ION vs. ALEX SHELLEY & SHANNON MOORE- 4.25/10

GAIL KIM & MADISON RAYNE BACKSTAGE- okay

KNOCKOUTS BATTLE ROYALE FOR #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TITLE- 3/10. No rating. Bad segment. So Madison Rayne made the rules for this match? Why the hell does Madison have booking power? Also, and I am certain I am not the only one who thinks this way, I have no interest in seeing a heel vs. heel match with weeks of build between two women that no one wants to see turn babyface. It can work, occasionally (Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash was a good example of this), but I highly doubt it will work here, especially considering how little people care about Madison Rayne.

JAMES STORM PROMO- decent

SAMOA JOE & MAGNUS PROMO- GREAT. These guys are, officially, in my book, tweeners, right now… but a babyface turn seems to be inevitable.

ERIC BISCHOFF PROMO- bad. This whole thing wasn’t too good anyway, but it was just thrown off by Bischoff saying that Garrett will never accomplish what he, Eric, has accomplished. The stumbling point here, is that Garrett doesn’t want to do what Bischoff has done. He doesn’t want to be a producer or authority figure. He wants to be a wrestler. This is like having a father who works for the military as a research scientist tell his son, an aspiring air force pilot, that he will never accomplish what he has accomplished. That’s right. He won’t. Because he wants to do something else entirely.

BULLY RAY PROMO- okay

ERIC YOUNG SINGS TO ODB- waste of time

WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER TO THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Bully Ray vs. James Storm- 5/10. Not even close to being acceptable for a main event. When they started the main event with so much time left, I got my hopes up that we would get a long, awesome match, but I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.

BUBBA SPITS BEER IN THE FACE OF THE FOOTBALL PLAYER, THEN GETS SHOVED- pointless, but not atrocious. The agents holding the football player back made sense… but why was James Storm holding him back? Storm, who just got cheap-shotted by Bully Ray, would definitely understand this guy wanting to go after him.

PROMO BY JAMES STORM & THE FOOTBALL PLAYER- bad

STING & BOBBY ROODE SEGMENT (yet again!)- Apparently this segment is all about Sting deciding when Storm will get the title shot he just earned. Why is this on TV? Just announce it on your website! Or mention it one of the previous segments. Don’t waste time with it!

I don’t want anyone mistaking my opinion here, so before I launch into this, let me say that Storm vs. Roode for the title should definitely be the main event at Lockdown. The way this has happened, however, is a complete and total failure of storytelling from TNA. First of all, if Storm is the #1 contender, then his title shot is Roode’s next title defense. Lockdown is in April. It is currently mid-February. What the hell happened to the 30 days rule?

Secondly, and more importantly, based on the stories they have been telling over the past three months, this title shot should go to Jeff Hardy. Jeff is the one who has constantly been screwed out of the title. DQ’s, interference, (I don’t think have had Roode get intentionally counted out or try to run away yet, but that would be the next thing to do)… Roode has used all of these to beat Jeff Hardy. Not James Storm. Therefore, the title shot in the cage (which is designed to prevent these very things from happening) should go to Jeff Hardy. Not James Storm.

Furthermore, from a kayfabe POV, there is no reason for this match to have to wait until Lockdown. If Sting wants the belt off of Roode, why wait two months? Why not have the match next week on Impact? Even using kayfabe business sense, there is no reason not have the match at Victory Road. A PPV is a PPV. It makes you money and (I believe) all TNA PPVs cost the same. Announcing your main event for Lockdown this early is great… but you have to do it in a way that makes kayfabe sense!

If they wanted to give Storm the title shot at Lockdown, they should just do the things they have been doing with first AJ and then with Hardy to James Storm. Have Roode retain via interference, via stalling out the clock for a draw, via intentional DQ, intentional count-out, etc. Then, as a result of Storm being screwed out of his title match at Victory Road, have Sting give him the title shot at Lockdown, in a cage, with no DQ’s, no time limit, etc.

In reality, this segment was just an excuse for Roode to beat Sting up a bit. With Bobby Roode, a jackass heel who has made a lot of enemies in the last few months, as well as the champion, and everyone knows that getting in the champ’s face will get you noticed, beating up Sting, who is both a legend who a lot of the guys in the back looked up to as kids, as well as the guy in charge, who it doesn’t hurt to suck up to, you would think that a legion of guys would come out to make the save… but no. No one does anything about it at all.

A bad show from TNA. This is the Lagana Era? It really doesn’t seem any different from the Prichard Era or the Russo Era.




STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:- Taz is back… and he couldn’t go 15 minutes without saying something dumb.
1. Taz (after Jeff slammed Bobby Roode’s head into the ring steps)- “again taking advantage of that No Disqualification stipulation.” When was the last time someone got DQed for throwing someone into the ring steps? I’m not sure it has EVER happened.

2. Tenay “In this #1 conternder’s match, in which the winner will become first be in line for a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Title”- This message was brought to you by the TNA Office of Repetitions and Redundancies Department