BRM's thoughts on the 4/7/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- GREAT promos by Daniels and Bubba Ray. The usual boring crap from Flair. This network stuff is annoying, but makes an unfortunate amount of sense, on a base level. What doesn’t make sense is why the network wouldn't tell Hogan and Bischoff about their decision to bring Daniels in.

ANDERSON SEGMENT- dumb. Not only was it a waste of time, but Sting is leaving handwritten notes on white printer paper? Really?

HOGAN& BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE- good segment, and someone FINALLY sees the blatantly obvious cameraman! Maybe Hogan can teach that trick to his friends Jeff and Karen?

TOMMY DREAMER & DEVON DUDLEY vs. HERNANDEZ & ANARQUIA (w/Sarita & Rosita)-4/10. Short, and Devon comes out of it looking extremely weak, being pinned after only a chairshot to the back. Then they go to Border Toss Tommy onto the concrete, but Morgan makes the save (good)… but Anarquia winds up looking like a b*tch (bad). This guy is too damn big to be a lackey. He shouldn’t get taken out like that!

There is something else in this match I want to talk about: When Rosita tried to interfere, Devon grabbed her and kissed her. Why is this okay? It seems to be used as the generic substitute for hitting a woman on TV… but isn’t forcing himself on her worse?

VELVET & WINTER BACKSTAGE- Good

JOE SQUASHES MURPHY- No complaints. Tenay tells us that it will be Joe vs. Pope at Lockdown! Which means this terrible feud is finally going to end!

TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Sarita & Rosita vs. The Beautiful People- PERFECT SEGMENT!

MR ANDERSON, OJ, & EY- they kept it short, and it was actually funny. I enjoyed this. It also set up us seeing Anderson in the rafters (so we didn’t need the announcers to tell us where he was, which, knowing Taz & Tenay, they would have found a way to screw up).

RVD & ANDERSON IN THE RAFTERS- We SAW just how narrow that passage was! So how the hell did RVD GET PAST THE CAMERAMAN WITHOUT MAKING ANY NOISE WHATSOEVER? And where the hell was he hiding that he could have gotten there so quickly, yet Anderson didn’t see him before? Also, I think we all saw the swerve coming. And why did RVD need the trenchcoat? It’s not a very useful disguise without the facepaint!

STING & RVD SEGMENT- Sting’s logic here is ridiculous! Sting just says “I made a mistake. I’m sorry” (a year late, too) for assaulting RVD with a baseball bat, but RVD imitates him, and THAT is an unforgivable sin? REALLY?

MADISON & TARA SEGMENT- dumb! If Madison didn’t want a match with Mickie at Lockdown… WHY DID SHE OFFER IT?

BRIAN KENDRICK, CHRIS SABIN, & SUICIDE vs. GENERATION ME & ROBBIE E (w/COOKIE)- 4.75/10. They are taking MCMG out of the tag team division, breaking up Gen Me, and there is dissension between Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal, leaving Beer Money’s top competition to be one of the three following teams: EY & OJ, Gunnar & Murphy, or the British Invasion (who haven only teamed together once in OVER A YEAR!)

ANDERSON & HOGAN BACKSTAGE- GREAT SEGMENT!

MICKIE JAMES GETS JUMPED BY TARA & MADISON- I have no problem with this happening off camera… but why did Tara have such a problem with this earlier? This is nothing that she herself hasn’t done a bunch of times before!

LUMBERJACK MATCH: Christopher Daniels vs. Bully Ray- 5.5/10. Why was there no DQ when Flair (and we all know which side he is on) pulled the referee out of the ring? This was stupid, and just another dirty finish for the sake of having a dirty finish. I swear a majority of TNA matches end with dirty finishes. That is just plain not okay.

JARRETT PROMO- Oh. Okay, Kurt was arrested last week for violating a restraining order against him. This is perfectly reasonable and makes sense… yet no one knew that this was the reason. This is the sort of thing that a COMPETENT announce team would have EXPLAINED TO US AS IT HAPPENED! Jarrett’s promo itself was pretty good.
WTF? Where the hell did Kurt get the rappelling equipment on three seconds notice (after all, he didn’t know that Jarrett would be cutting his promo from inside a steel cage), and how did he set it up both that quickly and without anyone knowing?
Why the hell would they have already locked the door before they were done BUILDING THE CAGE? You can’t get out through the door… but you can get through this yet to be built side? That doesn’t make much sense.

KURT PROMO- YAY! Someone in TNA is reading my reviews.
WAIT! STOP! The network should have NO CONTROL over Kurt’s PPV match with Jeff Jarrett because PPVs DON’T AIR ON THE NETWORK! DO THESE IDIOTS THINK ANYTHING THROUGH AT ALL?

STING vs. RVD (w/Mr. Anderson as Special Guest Referee)- It was kept short, and the Stinger Splash actually looked good this week.

ANDERSON JUMPS RVD- why did SoCal Val give the title belt to Anderson? The champion, Sting, was not in the ring for Anderson to give it to. She should have given it to Sting. And why is he complaining about not having rematch? He has one set for Lockdown already!

Saw the Anderson swerve coming. It was done perfectly, though!

Overall, another crappy Impact with one or two good segments, and no good wrestling whatsoever.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- “While Daniels shows his loyalty and his commitment to Fortune, Fortune is about to be confronted by the group that has the power in TNA.; and we’re talking about Immortal” WE KNOW WE JUST HEARD DANIELS’ PROMO, AND IMMORTAL’S MUSIC IS PLAYING! SHUT UP TENAY!

2. Taz (about Mexican America)- “I would say they are proud of their heritage, but I’m not too fond of them disrespecting our flag” THAT’S your issue? Disrespecting the flag? Two weeks ago, they claimed to be a SUPERIOR RACE! LIKE THE KKK OR THE NAZIS CLAIMED TO BE! And you are worried about the F*CKING FLAG?

3. Taz (about an inverted atomic drop)- “ I don’t know if that can hurt a girl”- IT’S NOT A LOW BLOW! It is exactly what it is called: an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! You drop the opponent’s tailbone on your knee! You would think that, being a trained wrestler, Taz would know this.

4. Taz (about Bubba Ray)- “He’s brought leadership to the team; to the faction of Immortal”- first of all, that second part is entirely unnecessary. We knew he was talking about Immortal from his previous sentence, and it is just atrocious diction (a regular feature in TNA announcing). The first part of this statement is just laughable. In a faction that includes, Hogan, Flair, and Bischoff, BUBBA RAY, a guy who was part of an equal tag team for the last fifteen years (Taz never backed up Bubba during his feud with Devon, so he clearly believes that they were equals), brings LEADERSHIP? Really, Taz?

5. Taz (about Flair pulling the ref out of the ring during the Bubba vs. Daniels match)- “Ric Flair did the right thing there, like it or not”- No he didn’t. He CHEATED! You can’t jump back and forth between babyface and heel as the mood suits you, Taz!

6. Taz thinks having Sting vs. RVD tonight is advantageous for RVD because he gets to feel Sting out, but disadvantageous for Sting because Sting might give away too much of his stuff. This is absurdly moronic, as it should obviously apply both ways. To make matters worse, Taz’s reasoning for the difference is because Sting is the champion. Yeah. Because that makes sense.

7. Tenay (about Anderson hitting Sting with the Mic Check, as an excuse for RVD continuing to wrestle Sting after heel interference)- “When Anderson hit the Mic Check, RVD didn’t see it”- while this is factually correct, let’s give RVD some credit here: The Special Guest Referee for this match hates us both. I just got hit a Scorpion Death Drop, but when I get up, Sting is knocked out. I know that I didn’t do it, since I’ve been down on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Sting didn’t knock himself out… so who could have knocked Sting out? Hmmm….

The same issue applies to Taz’s comment that a victory over the world champ will boost your confidence- if it is a clean win, yes… but why would a tainted win do this if you know it is tainted?

[badnewzxl]

BRIAN KENDRICK, CHRIS SABIN, & SUICIDE vs. GENERATION ME & ROBBIE E (w/COOKIE)- 4.75/10. They are taking MCMG out of the tag team division, breaking up Gen Me, and there is dissension between. Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal, leaving Beer Money’s top competition to be one of the three following teams: EY & OJ, Gunnar & Murphy, or the British Invasion (who haven only teamed together once in OVER A YEAR!)

Isn't Shelley injured? and you forgot Crimson & Steiner and Hernendez & Anarchia.

I hope the Brits win at Lockdown and feud with Beer Money....

[KILLdozer]

even tho i saw the anderson swerve coming i wish he wouldve joined immortal cuz they need another contender for the world title and with him already in the match at lockdown and how hes been acting more and more heel lately it would have been perfect

[Big Red Machine]

you forgot Crimson & Steiner and Hernendez & Anarchia.

Neither of whom have teamed together more than twice. To have them feud with the tag champs would be ridiculous.

[e-moose]

why did RVD need the trenchcoat? It’s not a very useful disguise without the facepaint!

MICKIE JAMES GETS JUMPED BY TARA & MADISON- I have no problem with this happening off camera… but why did Tara have such a problem with this earlier? This is nothing that she herself hasn’t done a bunch of times before!

Jarrett’s promo itself was pretty good.

Saw the Anderson swerve coming. It was done perfectly, though!

Overall, another crappy Impact with one or two good segments, and no good wrestling whatsoever.

Just gotta defend the program a little bit.

RVD is in the trenchcoat purely for the cameras. For 10 seconds we thought Sting was there behind Mr. Anderson. There is no kayfabe explanation, but the suspense made it worthwhile.

Didn't Tara run Mickie down with the motorcycle? I may have been out of the room when this occured. I just saw Mickie lying there and the other 2 taking off. I assumed that they hit her with the bike.

I.M.O. Jarrett's mic work is some of the best in pro wrestling today. I'd be suprised to see him do a bad promo.

Re: Kurt Angle "swooping in": It's just one more of those situations where I don't give a crap about the cage setting up business and what stuff doesn't make any sense. When watching this, I wasn't thinking about that at all. Kurt Angle swooped into the ring like Spiderman at about 100 mph and it was just too cool to give a crap!

It's great that they give Mr. Anderson lots of camera time. He was always perfectly in character and it was a great finish to see the "asshole" piss off pretty much everybody.

I can't believe you didn't mention the freakish Angelina Love and the appearent powers Winter has over her.

No good wrestling whatsoever? I remember seeing some good wrestling in the knockouts match, and in the X-division match. In general I thought the program was better than usual this week.

[Big Red Machine]

why did RVD need the trenchcoat? It’s not a very useful disguise without the facepaint!

MICKIE JAMES GETS JUMPED BY TARA & MADISON- I have no problem with this happening off camera… but why did Tara have such a problem with this earlier? This is nothing that she herself hasn’t done a bunch of times before!

Jarrett’s promo itself was pretty good.

Saw the Anderson swerve coming. It was done perfectly, though!

Overall, another crappy Impact with one or two good segments, and no good wrestling whatsoever.

I can't believe you didn't mention the freakish Angelina Love and the appearent powers Winter has over her.

No good wrestling whatsoever? I remember seeing some good wrestling in the knockouts match, and in the X-division match. In general I thought the program was better than usual this week.

For the RVD & Angle kayfabe logic issues, that, to me, is key to wrestling. It has to make sense. Wrestlers can be allowed more freedom in their accepted behaviors than normal people due to what seems to be an unwritten code between them (anything that takes places in the arena, we settle in the ring), but their logic must be that of a normal human (or a normal human with thew experiences and outlook of their character). IMO, part of the preservation kayfabe on the show (i.e. not acknowledging that wrestling is scripted on the air) is not having items and/or people mysteriously in place just so that things can happen in a specific way.

My assumption was that Winter was setting Velvet up, and she had Angelina "trained" to respond to the signal. Otherwise, why would she let Angelina show up for the match in the first place. They have heavily implied that Winter's powers come from drugging Angelina.

And "better than usual" for Impact, does not mean "good."

[e-moose]

I'm sorry to hear that you can't enjoy stuff unless it makes sense.

You are right. Better than usual doesn't mean good. I just watched SmackDown! tonight and Edge vs. Del Rio at the end was at least twice as good as any of the matches that were on impact!

[Big Red Machine]

I'm sorry to hear that you can't enjoy stuff unless it makes sense.

If it is something like a dream that doesn't have to make sense, I am fine with it not making sense. If it is something that is portrayed as needing to make sense, it should make sense.