BRM Reviews the 3/10/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

STING PROMO- great words, but don’t make sense in kayfabe. If Sting cared so much about TNA and its fans, and if he didn’t want to deal with Hogan and Bischoff… WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE… THE ENTIRE SPRING AND SUMMER OF LAST YEAR!
Also, the last line of the promo- “I’m going to take back what was never yours, Hulk” seems like it should be coming from AJ. This is Mr. TNA’s spot. Not Mr. WCW’s.
REST OF THE OPENING SEGMENT- Good.

KNOCKOUTS BACKSTAGE SEGMENT- okay

SAMOA JOE (w/Okato) vs. THE POPE- amazingly good match for a three minute match, but with a dumb finish. 5.25/10.

BUBBA DUDLEY PROMO- Great

I realize that I am splitting semantic hairs here, but I hate the fact that JB calls it the “Ladies” Knockout Championship. “Lady,” like its counterpart, “Gentleman” implies a sense of being proper, and not resorting to violence. They are in a kayfabe COMBAT SPORT. A “gentleman” or a “lady” won’t kick your ass. A “man” or a “woman” will. And more importantly, THAT’S NOT THE NAME OF THE BELT. The belt is officially called the TNA WOMEN’S Knockout Championship.

TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TITLE MATCH: Madison Rayne(c) (w/Tara) vs. Roxxi- 2/10.
WHY IS ROXXI ALLOWED BACK? There is a kayfabe reason for Tara’s (as dumb a it is, at least it exists). YET AGAIN, TNA devalues another stip. And they bring Roxxi back to just to have her look bad by losing in two minutes.

Mickie hasn’t been here in weeks?
1) Why are you only mentioning the absence of a major star now?
2) Why is she allowed to ditch work?


TOMMY DREAMER PROMO- “You big fat bully!” Really, Tommy? This is TV 14. Didn’t you used to be successful in a company that catered to this demographic? Surely you can find an insult that doesn’t make you sound like an eight-year old.

DUDLEYS BRAWL- great… until Bubba beat up the security guard. That was stupid.

JB “The following contest is a 6 person ladies tag team match”- you can’t say both “person” and “ladies.” It is either “man,” “woman,” or “person.” Saying person in a same-sex match is redundant and annoying.

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE & WINTER vs. ANGELINA, COOKIE, & SARITA (w/Rosita)- No Rating. It was mercifully short, and not well worked, but I think that everything that they did in the match worked, and it was almost… dare I say it… fun (Robbie’s interaction with Winter was great!),

ANDERSON & IMMORTAL BACKSTAGE- unnecessary, and not good.

Looking at the promos over the last few weeks, and going into this handicap Street Fight, it is clear to me the AJ’s current spot was intended for Bobby Roode, and the spot originally intended for AJ went to Sting.

FLAIR PROMO- eh. AJ & MATT PROMOS- AWESOME!
STREET FIGHT: Ric Flair “vs.” Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles- I wasn’t happy with AJ starting the match with a cheap shot

RVD & STING BACKSTAGE- good

GENERATION ME vs. INK INC.- 5.25/10. Had some cool spots, but not that long.

Shannon Moore cuts an okay promo. James Storm’s catchphrase once again ruins a potentially good promo of his.

At Victory Road, there will be a NO-HYPE ULTIMATE X MATCH!!!! We foind out about it when it is mentioned in passing during another match fifteen minutes before the end of the go-home show. TNA in a nutshell.

HARDY & ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- GREAT. This makes the other segment completely unnecessary.

STING VIDEO PACKAGE- should have been saved for the lead in to the World Title match on PPV. It didn’t tell us anything new, and just wasted our time.

ANDERSON JUMPS STING- eh. I thought that Anderson was going to take out Sting… so that he could then attack Jeff during the match, like he hinted at backstage.

RVD & STING vs. JEFF HARDY & MR. ANDERSON- 4/10. The Hardy-Anderson stuff was good, but outside of that, this stunk. RVD was down for the count WAY too quickly. He barely even took much damage. And Sting TELEPORTS into the ring? Really? RUN DOWN THE AISLE, YOU OLD FART! If you can’t run down the aisle, you don’t belong in the ring!

WTF? Why the hell would they do Sting’s entrance… complete with the lights… in the middle of the match. Having the ring go dark, and bright flashes all of a sudden could actually be dangerous to the guys in the ring, if they are trying to do something, and from a kayfabe POV, doing this would be an outside factor influencing the match.

Overall, TNA decides to keep up their streak of crap. If all of the Impact’s leading up to it have been utter crap, why should we pay money for a PPV which likely won’t be any different? If THIS is your go home show, then the people writing it need to be sent home, too.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- “You’ll recall last week; the night started off great for Immortal. Hulk Hogan won the legal battle with TNA president Dixie Carter. Hulk Hogan gains control of TNA. But things got bad for Immortal at the end: Sting returns. He beats Jeff Hardy. Suddenly, Immortal- they’re without the power that goes with possessing the World Title”- yes… but that power doesn’t matter now, because Hogan has full control. Immortal needed the belts as leverage in case Dixie won the legal battle. She didn’t. Therefore, they don’t need the belts (or more specifically, the power that comes with holding them) anymore

2. Taz (when Mickie comes out to make the save for Roxxi)- “Speaking of hot she-devil” Mickie is your top female babyface. If you are using the word “devil” to describe her, you are doing something wrong.

3. Tenay (about RVD vs. Anderson)- “Both of these men claim to be the #1 contender to Sting’s World Heavyweight Title… but there can only be one”- YOU JUST CALLED A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH EARLIER TONIGHT! Clearly it is possible for there to be more than one person having a shot at the belt at the same time!