BRM Reviews the 4/19/2023 Dynamite (bad, despite some awesome promos)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- terrible
Jungle Boy came out and was going to speak, but was interrupted by Sammy Guevara. Darby Allin then interrupted Sammy. Darby told Sammy that Chris Jericho is holding him back. How, exactly? Just because the group is called the “Jericho Appreciation Society” doesn’t inherently mean that others are being held back. Sammy is trying for the world title right now, and at no point have we seen Jericho so much as voice disapproval, never mind actually do anything to get in Sammy’s way.
Darby then told Jungle Boy that Jungle Boy had an easy route into the company because he was part of “the California clique.” Who is that, exactly? The Young Bucks? That doesn’t seem likely, as if they were such good friends with Jungle Boy, you’d think they have come out o help him at some point in the past four years, and I don’t think we’ve ever seen that. Hell, I don’t think we’ve seen anyone ever come out to help Jungle Boy other than Luchasaurus and Marko Stunt.
Jungle Boy responded to this by saying that fans in Darby Allin facepaint wouldn’t wear it “if they knew what you were really like,” and then lays out to us exactly how Darby is really an asshole. We’ve got one babyface telling us that this other babyface is actually a terrible person. So either Darby is actually a terrible person or Jungle Boy is telling a malicious lie. That’s a great situation for AEW to put themselves in.
The bards continued to fly, with us being told that Darby is only in pro wrestling because he failed as a skateboarder, Sammy is an asshole, and Sammy claiming that both Jungle Boy and MJF were “hand-picked to be in this company.” You were, too, Sammy. That’s what a contract is. Now he’s complaining about not being on PPVs. Somehow, Sammy’s promo was the best of these three. Jungle Boy said that the other two were selfish, and that he would win the world title for everyone who has supported him since day one.
MJF came out and said that all three of them are tied in those rankings that they used to do but we haven’t heard about in months. That’s right: a tie. Over three years of rankings and we haven’t had a tie, but now we have one.
So how do you break a three-way tie? With a three-way match, obviously.
JUST KIDDING!
Instead of doing the obvious thing and putting all three equally-ranked competitors in a match against each other, Tony Khan has decided to have a three-person singles tournament, where one of them will randomly be given a bye, and thus a huge advantage in the finals that he didn’t do anything to earn his way into.
MJF pulled a name out of a hat. Darby got the bye. The tournament starts tonight.
This was a bunch of counterproductive promos leading into a painfully artificial set-up where the babyface boss of the company does something convoluted and unfair instead of doing the thing that is both more obvious and fairer. I am flabbergasted, and not just because I didn't realize that Darby was capable of saying "WOO HOO!"

JAMIE HAYTER & BRITT BAKER vs. THE OUTCASTS (Ruby Soho & Toni Storm) (w/Saraya)- 6/10
It’s Dr. Baker’s home town, so of course, she got to kick out of a belt shot followed by Strong Zero. She eventually made Ruby Soho tap out after Ruby kicked out of a bunch of stuff. I don’t see what a clean babyface win does for this feud.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS WARDLOW- awesome
Renee asks Wardlow how he will prevent the same cheating that screwed him out of the title last time. He had an answer: Arn Anderson. Arn then showed up and cut an awesome promo.

THE ELITE PROMO & BRAWL WITH THE BCC- good brawl, bad everything else.
Kenny did all of the talking. He was great. He said he wished he could have stabbed Moxley in the face last week. He calls the Blackpool Combat Club out so that they can settle things.
Bryan Danielson appeared on the TonyTron to distract them so that the BCC could jump them from behind. This was a great brawl. No security came out to break it up.
The BCC won the brawl, and Danielson came out and started cutting a promo. Don Callis came out with a chair, but then ran away. Dragon pulled out his screwdriver. Still no security came out, despite Danielson having STABBED A COWORKER IN THE EYE WITH THIS VERY SAME WEAPON two weeks ago. Instead we got Don Callis pulling Konosuke Takeshita out. Taakeshita made the save because the heels were dumb enough to attack him one at a time, and Dragon didn’t try to get involved at all. It came across like the heels were idiots for no reason other than that the planned ending to this segment was Kenny Callis and Takeshita standing tall together, so the heels behaved in a manner to facilitate that.

AEW TNT TITLE MATCH: Will Hobbs(c) (w/Q.T. Marshall & Harley Cameron) vs. Wardlow (w/Arn Anderson)- 5.5/10
They fought n the outside forever and weren’t counted out. That they did so much to set up Arn Anderson getting “revenge on Q.T. Marshall for something that happened almost two years ago and that Arn hasn’t brought up since (Q.T. attacking Arn when he turned on Cody) was ridiculous.
Wardlow won the belt back. I’m not a big fan of short title reigns, but I do think that even this short title reign helped elevate Hobbs.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
Christian Cage and Luchasaurus came out. That’s a fine first feud where we know Wardlow won’t lose the belt.

RENEE PAQUETTE’S INTERVIEW WITH SAMMY GUEVARA IS INTERRUPTED BY MJF- terrible
MJF was dumb enough to go in front of a camera and offer to help Sammy win the “tournament” if Sammy would lay down for him in the title match. And then, when he said “no,” MJF was dumb enough to offer him money. Then Sammy was dumb enough to accept the bribe. ALL OF THIS WAS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!

KOMANDER vs. JAY WHITE (w/Juice Robinson)- 4/10
Tony Schiavone claimed that “the formation of Bullet Club Gold has changed the landscape here in AEW.” He really said that. They showed us Shawn Spears watching from ringside. The announcers later claimed that Spears’ presence was affecting Jay White. You want to know how to make someone look like the opposite of a star? How them get thrown off by f*cking Shawn Spears.
I’m sure people like this match, but I have never seen a match where it felt like the story was one guy stopping the other from getting his sh*t in (as opposed to the other guy trying to hit his moves to win) more than this match. Komander finally did hit his flippy move… and then lost. Again.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Juice Robinson and Shawn Spears started brawling because Spears did his old WWE gimmick and help up a sign giving White a 5. Yes, really. Ricky Starks came out to help Spears. He speared Juice, prompting White to run away.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS FTR- bad
She showed them footage of Mark Briscoe getting jumped by Mark Sterling’s crew, so they ran off to the medical area to go check on Mark. Jay Lethal and friends were also there. Mark insisted that he was able to wrestle, but the trainer insisted that he wasn’t. Mark then announced that he would be replaced by both members of FTR, I think? Don’t their opponents or someone in authority have to okay this?
Lethal didn’t want to team with FTR, but gave in in the end. I’m sure they will bicker in tonight’s match against… um…

CHRIS JERICHO & ADAM COLE TALK IN THE RING- awesome promos, flawed angle
Cole started out respectful but Jericho was an asshole, so Cole turned things up. Jericho eventually shoved Cole, which started a brawl. Daniel Garcia ran in to help Jericho. Britt Baker ran in and pulled Jericho off of Cole, then slapped him. The Outcasts then came out from under the ring and attacked Dr. Baker. Yeah, I know, Jericho had a contingency plan, but I would really just prefer if they had run out from the entrance like everyone else.
Garcia handcuffed Cole to the ropes and got a Kendo stick. Saraya then beat Baker with it. Jamie Hayter was nowhere to be found, as was Adam Cole’s new buddy Keith Lee. If you establish a relationship between characters, you can’t just ignore it when it’s inconvenient for your story! The announcers are shouting about how heinous this is, and yet no one is coming to help. What does that say abut all of the babyfaces in the locker room.

MATT HARDY & FRIENDS PROMO- They announced that Jeff will cut a promo on Rampage, and that they wouldn’t tell us when they’re goofy match against the Firm is happening.

BRITT BAKER IS HELPED TO THE BACK BY ADAM COLE, REFEREES, AND A PRODUCTION GUY- fine

IF THE ACCLAIMED LOSE, THEY MUST JOIN THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn vs. Jericho Appreciation Society (Jake Hager, Matt Menard, & Angelo Parker)- 3.75/10
If you’re caught off guard by that stipulation, apparently they just tacked it on over the weekend. Great booking, Tony.
Bowens kicked out of a shot from a “loaded comb.” Yes, really. That’s what they said. Whatever it was loaded with couldn’t have been too strong, though, because Billy Gunn easily twisted it into a pretzel with his bare hands. This match was short and stupid.

Taya Valkyrie finally gets a shot at the TBS Title next week.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP “TOURNAMENT” FIRST-ROUND MATCH: Jungle Boy vs. Sammy Guevara- 7.75/10
Jungle Boy’s graphic said that he was on a ten-match winning streak. Going into Rampage last week, Schiavone said it was just one. Either their Goldberg Streak math or- more likely- Schiavone is a moron, and Tony Khan won’t tell him off because Tony Khan has no concept of quality control.
MJF and Darby Allin were both seen watching this match. This was easily the best match on the show. MJF interfered to knock Jungle Boy out and make sure that he lost by count-out. MJF and Sammy celebrated together afterwards.

This was a bad show from AEW, despite some awesome promos. The logic on this show felt like peak Impact… and I mean LOLTNA Impact, not that Scott D’Amore run from 2005-2006.