BRM Reviews the 4/15/2022 Rampage (how to kill a main event in twenty seconds)

[Big Red Machine]

GUNN CLUB vs. BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB- 5.75/10
William Regal was on commentary for this match. This was fine. Wheeler YUTA rolled Billy Gunn up for the win.

THE BUTCHER vs. A JOBBER- squash
Shawn Spears was on guest commentary for this match.

DUSTIN RHODES PROMO- mostly good
Dustin had a lot of passion, but I don’t think there was anyone not named Dustin Rhodes who thinks that Dustin Rhodes vs. CM Punk is a “dream match,” and I highly doubt that they will “blow the roof off,” either.

OWEN HART FOUNDATION WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT QUALIFYING MATCH: Ruby Soho vs. Robyn Renegade- 4.5/10, but…
I don’t think you can deny that the wrestlers did a fine job of telling the story that they set out to tell, hence the rating. That being said…
A f*cking twin-switch in 2022? Really? And just so we ca get some false finishes in before Ruby overcomes it and wins? They would have been a lot better off just having Ruby squash this nobody and avoiding the hokiness of someone having managed to sneak under the ring and hide there all day.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- good

TEXAS DEATHMATCH FOR THE AEW WORLD TITLE: Adam Page(c) vs. Adam Cole- 6/10
The announcers were terrible with over-selling the feud here. Just because they’ve known each other for ten years doesn’t mean the rivalry goes back that long.
They did stuff with chairs and bled. Eventually Page tied Cole to the ropes and get a chair with barbed wire all over it… and then was too nice to hit Adam Cole with it. He was even too nice to just kick Cole while Cole’s arm was tied to the ropes, so he went and untied Cole… and of course Cole immediately hit him in the nuts. What a f*cking clown. Excalibur was going on about how Page “wouldn’t sink to the depths” of hitting Cole with this barbed-wire chair, but it’s a f*cking TEXAS DEATHMATCH!
Cole kicked Page in the head twice, then went for the running knee, but Page got up and countered it with a lariat. This happened LESS THAN TWENTY SECONDS AFTER THE LOW BLOW. That whole sequence killed the match for me. At that point it just became a meaningless series of spots designed for MAXIMUM DRAMA rather than an actual fight or something that told a story.
A bad episode of Rampage due to the horribly disappointing main event.