BRM Reviews the 6/18/2021 Dynamite (very bad)

[Big Red Machine]

MMA RULES CAGE FIGHT: Jake Hager (w/Chris Jericho) vs. WARDLOW (w/Shawn Spears)- 4.75/10
They’re going full MMA here, including a hexagonal ring with a cage around it. Only one second was allowed at ringside. They also got their faces Vaselined before the match. In theory, shouldn’t that happen before all pro wrestling matches, too?
They showed some Bellator footage and made a big deal out of Hager’s choke, saying that “the only thing that has prevented him from getting the victory is the rope-break,” but there are no rope-breaks in this match. Actually, I have pretty vivid memories of Cody flipping over and turning it into a pin. Of course, there are no pinfalls in this match, either but it’s not good that I’m remembering a big finish of a title match that the announcers are not. (In fairness to Excalibur, he did preface his statement with “I think,” which I did appreciate him doing, but I think my general point still stands. It’s not like Hager has had that many singles matches in AEW.)
As you can tell, I’m a detail guy, but having Justin Roberts do a big preamble and telling us what corner everyone is fighting out of and dressing Aubrey Edwards in an MMA-style referee’s shirt instead of the usual stripes that AEW uses for everything else is too far for me. Those sorts of things feel purposely performative, and thus it gives the whole things a feeling of “we’re pretending to do an MMA fight now” as opposed to if they had just built the cage and did the match with Roberts announcing and Aubrey dressed as if it were any other AEW match… because it really isn’t that much different. It’s an AEW-sanctioned match with different rules than a standard AEW match. It’s not like they dress the referees different for ladder matches or battle royales.
This seemed like decent fake MMA to me (aside from the pointless running hurricanrana), but it was also a good reminder of why a lot of people who like pro wrestling don’t watch MMA. It just wasn’t very exciting.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Spears ran in and attacked Hager after the match. Jericho even things up, but MJF came out and attacked him. He ripped off the arm-brace and locked his finishing submission in on Jericho’s injured arm… and then just let the hold go and started punching Jericho in the face instead. That was dumb.
Out to make the save came the rest of the Inner Circle. Just kidding. It was AEW backstage official Dean Malenko. MJF made a show of being all conflicted about punching Dean while the announcers told us how terrible it would be if Jericho hit an old man with Parkinson’s Disease, before MJF finally hit Malenko and everyone was outraged. I guess everyone forgot that the Inner Circle beat Dean Malenko up (and much worse than this) LESS THAN A MONTH AGO (and, by the way, there appear to have been ZERO consequences for assaulting an AEW official). “Detail Guy” Tony Khan strikes again.
This is one of my major frustrations with AEW. They are so focused on the little details that turn a A into an A+ while so often ignoring the more important things that are necessary to get you from a C- to an A.
Sammy Guevara eventually came out and jumped into the cage to brawl with MJF.



FRANKIE KAZARIAN, EDDIE KINGSTON, & PENTA EL 0M PROMO- mixed
Kaz was far too poetic for what he was saying to not feel like someone trying too hard. It was the kind of promo that Christopher Daniels made work in the 2000’s, but it didn’t work for Kaz here. Kingston was awesome. Penta… said his catchphrase. Where was Alexa Abrahantes to translate for him? The graphic they just showed us said he’d be at ringside tonight, so where was he here? Isn’t his job to translate for Penta?

TAZ & TEAM TAZ PROMO- good
Hobbs is not happy with Starks leaving him hanging in last week’s match, and neither is Taz. Taz challenges Page to face Hobbs one on one next week.

HANDICAP MATCH: Darby Allin vs. Men of the Year (Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky)- 4/10
I don’t understand Page and Sky’s name? I understand the concept, but I don’t understand the connection. It makes them seem goofy and delusional. Their characters are anything but that.
Darby got his ass kicked for a bit. Eventually, he managed to get a zip-tie from his trunks and tie Ethan Page’s feet together. In other words, Darby cheated. How was that even allowed to happen? Didn’t the referee check him for foreign objects before the match?
Fortunately, Page was able to free himself via some bolt-cutters from a toolbox underneath the ring. The match returns to its fair composition (hey! Don’t look at me. DARBY was the one who insisted on not having a match), and the heels won soon after. The action was okay, but Darby did not come off like a babyface here. If he just got his ass kicked that would have been one thing, but to say that you’re going to valiantly fight both men alone and then plan on resorting to cheating to beat them? That’s bullsh*t.

WINGMEN PROMO- meh

ORANGE CASSIDY (w/Best Friends & Kris Statlander) vs. CEZAR BONONI (w/the Wingmen)- DUD!
I had totally forgotten that Statlander was palling around with the Goof Patrol. I still don’t understand why. And they sure have done a lot with Statlander since her big return three months ago, huh?
Bononi kept throwing OC t the outside and the heels sprayed cologne on him and combed his hair and crap like that. It was extremely dumb. Statlander hand to boop J.D. Drake, because G-d forbid she punch the heel in the face like an actual professional fighter. Avalon was a clown after the match, cradling Bononi and crying like he was mortally wounded.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEW WITH JUNGLE BOY IS INTERRUPTED BY DON CALLIS, KENNY OMEGA, & MICHAEL NAKAZWA BEING GOOFS- ATROCIOUS segment
This started off with Excalibur pitching to Marvez, who was “trying to” get an interview with Jungle Boy. Marvez then told us this as well, and then happily surprised when Jungle Boy just happened to walk by. And it’s a good thing he did, or else Marvez would have had nothing to say and it would have been a waste of time and there’d be a hole in the show. Here’s a nice, simple logical rule to follow: DON’T THROW IT TO AN INTERVIEW WITH SOMEONE UNLESS THAT PERSON IS ACTUALLY F*CKING THERE!
This is one of those things that WWE does that makes no sense and no one likes it, so AEW copying it (especially when they normally don’t do this) is absolutely baffling to me. It’s three fewer seconds you could have given to something else (like staying on an important post-match reaction), and the only thing you’re doing by spending these seconds here is making the company look dumb.
And this “oh, what a happy coincidence” set-up is even more of an issue here, because not only did this segment rely on this happy coincidence of timing, but it also relied on the fact that the heels just happened to be riding around on a golf cart making a bunch of noise at this very moment.
Also, Jungle Boy has his backpack with him, so he’s either way late to work, or he’s trying to cut out way early.
Kenny was a total clown, talking about having packed them a picnic with knuckle sandwiches for Jungle Boy. Kenny wanted to fight right here. This was a ruse to allow Nakazawa to sneak up behind Jungle Boy and hit him with his laptop. Jungle Boy quickly made a comeback and was beating Kenny’s ass until Nakazawa got involved again. Some world champion Kenny is. The heels made a run for their golf-cart. For absolutely no reason, Kenny refused to let Nakazawa back on, kicking him away. Callis and Kenny sped off while Jungle Boy hit Nakazawa again.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEW WITH THE HARDY FAMILY OFFICE IS INTERRUPTED BY CHRISTIAN CAGE- very bad
While Matt’s legal analysis is wrong, he does kind of have a point that Christian was the one who betrayed him in the Casino Battle Royale. That’s kind of a dick move by Christian. Matt vowed to end Christian’s career. Christian swooped in to attack, but the six heels (The Butcher was missing without explanation) quickly forced him behind some fencing and locked him in. Matt offered Christian a bunch of money to retire. Christian turned it down, then demanded to be let out of the makeshift cage and was shaking the fencing and acting like he was in agony. Is he supposed to be in some big match or something? Obviously he doesn’t want to be locked up, but he was overacting quite badly here. And you’d think that, seeing as how this was on AEW’s TV show, someone from AEW management would see it and send someone to release him, so this really doesn’t seem like any sore of dire predicament.

THE FACTORY (Q.T. Marshall & Aaron Solow) (w/Nick Comoroto) vs. CODY RHODES & BROCK ANDERSON (w/Arn Anderson)- 6.75/10
Q.T. is apparently 18-1 this year… and we know that one loss was to Cody, which means that Q.T. was UNDEFEATED IN 2021 when Cody was being a dick and refusing to face him. And Brock Anderson gets to make his AEW debut (and Ross even said it was his overall debut, but Ross is often wrong) on Dynamite while the other trainees (including Lee Johnson) had to spend months only on Dark? Every moment that goes by in this feud makes Cody look worse and worse.
Young Brock looked solid, but didn’t stand out in any way (unless Ross is right and this was his first actual match, in which case he looked quite impressive). The babyfaces won clean when Brock pinned Solow with a float-over jackknife pin. I was shocked that nothing happened after the match to build up the Cody vs. Q.T. strap match.

JAKE ROBERTS PROMO WITH LANCE ARCHER- whatever
He said stuff. Archer has apparently “run out of patience.” Did he ever have any in the first place?
The most notable thing about this to me is that they found this completely destroyed barn to shoot it in.

ANDRADE EL IDOLO VIDEO PACKAGE/SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW WITH JIM ROSS- good
Andrade and Vickie Guerrero have a surprise.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE & THE DORK ORDER- terrible
Page accepts Taz’s challenge, but did seem to actually be paying too much attention. He was too busy joking around. Marvez asked him about next week’s world title match and noted that this affects him because he is the #2 contender… and Page completely ignored the question, but over his goofball buddies for their non-accomplishments, culminating in telling Evil Uno that he is a “champion to us” even though he lost last week’s main event clean. He also put Five over for having an “okay” new jacket. What a bunch of clowns. It says so much about the judgment of the people running this company that these goofs get TV time while Leyla Hirsch and Swole don’t and J.D. Drake is turned into a clown.

PENELOPE FORD vs. JULIA HART (w/the Varsity Blonds)- 5/10
I like that Julia Hart actually does the cartwheels and handsprings and stuff that makes this feel like an actual gimmick as opposed to a sorority girl dressing up in a sexy cheerleader Halloween costume every day of the year. Julia is certainly still green, and there were quite a few times here where these two were clearly going a step below the usual speed to make sure that things went right. Penelope got the clean win with a Muta Lock and left the hold in after the bell. That’s a good way to start rebuilding a heel. Julia sold the submission very well.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Miro came out and said that he couldn’t let Penelope be outnumbered here just because her husband is injured, so he attacked the Varsity Blonds. Brian Pillman Jr. took him down and a school of referees swam out to pull them apart. Excalibur pushed that Miro was a “psychopath” for injuring Penelope’s husband and then volunteering to (in his words) “fight for her honor.” He’s not wrong that it makes Miro look demented, but mostly it made me think how odd it was that they did an angle to turn Kip babyface but are leaving Penelope as a heel.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S INTERVIEW WITH DR. BRITT BAKER, DMD IS INTERRUPTED BY VICKIE GUERRERO- very bad
I was mirroring Britt’s reactions to everything Vickie said. The most important of these reactions was mocking the fact that “Vickie wants” the title around her client’s waist. Nyla Rose should be getting in Britt’s face herself.
Anyway, because she brought Andrade to AEW, Tony Khan has agreed to let Vickie book a match, and Vickie has decided to book Britt & Reba vs. herself & Nyla. “Oh goody. Vickie Guerrero wrestling,” said no one ever. Vickie left, at which point Britt and Reba rightfully began laughing at her.

The aforementioned match will take place on the June 30th Dynamite, along with Brian Pillman Jr. getting a TNT Title shot, because you don’t actually have to win matches to get a title shot anymore, apparently. The main event of that show will be MJF vs. Sammy Guevara.

FTR VS. PROUD & POWERFUL VIDEO PACKAGE- decent
The claim that Proud & Powerful have been “carrying this company” is completely laughable. They’ve been the Inner Circle’s afterthoughts since their initial feud with the Young Buck ended in December 2019. Other than that, this was pretty good.

MARK STERLING & JADE CARGILL PROMO- dumb
They’ve signed with a hotel. They are wasting Jade Cargill by having her do promos with this D-list clown instead of having her gain experience in the ring.

THE ELITE (Matt Jackson & the Good Brothers) (w/Brandon Cutler) vs. EDDIE KINGSTON, FRANKIE KAZARIAN, & PENTA EL 0M (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 7.5/10
Oh look. Penta’s heel manager is back. He’s been gone without explanation for the past few weeks.
Don Callis was on commentary. The match was great and full of action, but nowhere near enough to save this very bad show. The Elite won after interference from Nick Jackson.


A bad show from AEW. “All Elite Wrestling” my ass. “Total Nonstop Goofage” seems more appropriate.

[cero2k]

MMA RULES CAGE FIGHT: Jake Hager (w/Chris Jericho) vs. WARDLOW (w/Shawn Spears)- 4.75/10
This seemed like decent fake MMA to me (aside from the pointless running hurricanrana), but it was also a good reminder of why a lot of people who like pro wrestling don’t watch MMA. It just wasn’t very exciting.

I liked the idea of the hurricanrana because it WAS an MMA fighter vs Pro Wrestler match, and if we're to believe that Wrestling is as real as MMA, then wrestling moves should be executed and they should work. As for why is WARDLOW of all people doing hurricanranas, I have no idea.

[Big Red Machine]

MMA RULES CAGE FIGHT: Jake Hager (w/Chris Jericho) vs. WARDLOW (w/Shawn Spears)- 4.75/10
This seemed like decent fake MMA to me (aside from the pointless running hurricanrana), but it was also a good reminder of why a lot of people who like pro wrestling don’t watch MMA. It just wasn’t very exciting.

I liked the idea of the hurricanrana because it WAS an MMA fighter vs Pro Wrestler match, and if we're to believe that Wrestling is as real as MMA, then wrestling moves should be executed and they should work. As for why is WARDLOW of all people doing hurricanranas, I have no idea.

I agree with you in theory, but it was so randomly placed in the match that and wasn't followed up on in any way to the point where it felt like a "pro wrestling spot" that happened because Wardlow wanted to get his sh*t in. There is a way to work pro wrestling stuff into fake MMA. Sakuraba, Danielson, Sawa, Ichikawa, etc. are masters at it. Wardlow and Hager... not so much.

[Thelone]

This is one of my major frustrations with AEW. They are so focused on the little details that turn a A into an A+ while so often ignoring the more important things that are necessary to get you from a C- to an A.
Sammy Guevara eventually came out and jumped into the cage to brawl with MJF.

Yeah, they're always trying to be too cute with "some great throwback" or "smart reference" or whatever else, not noticing the bigger plotholes or just how shitty something is.

FRANKIE KAZARIAN, EDDIE KINGSTON, & PENTA EL 0M PROMO- mixed
Kaz was far too poetic for what he was saying to not feel like someone trying too hard. It was the kind of promo that Christopher Daniels made work in the 2000’s, but it didn’t work for Kaz here. Kingston was awesome. Penta… said his catchphrase. Where was Alexa Abrahantes to translate for him? The graphic they just showed us said he’d be at ringside tonight, so where was he here? Isn’t his job to translate for Penta?

That's an unhealthy fascination you have there, but I'm not here to judge.

All kidding aside, of course Pentagon didn't have his heel manager cut a promo for him here, because he wasn't a heel this week. I mean, who uses those tired old tropes nowadays?

HANDICAP MATCH: Darby Allin vs. Men of the Year (Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky)- 4/10
I don’t understand Page and Sky’s name? I understand the concept, but I don’t understand the connection. It makes them seem goofy and delusional. Their characters are anything but that.

Well they're still pretending that 38yo, 19-year veteran Scorpio Sky is this young up-and-comer on the rise.

ORANGE CASSIDY (w/Best Friends & Kris Statlander) vs. CEZAR BONONI (w/the Wingmen)- DUD!

BUT THAT WAS SOME GOOD SHIT PAL!!! No wait, that's the wrong company.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEW WITH JUNGLE BOY IS INTERRUPTED BY DON CALLIS, KENNY OMEGA, & MICHAEL NAKAZWA BEING GOOFS- ATROCIOUS segment

Omega just can't help himself and has to act like a joke, even as the world champion. Even AEW fans are getting restless of this boring reign and constant clown show, that's saying something.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEW WITH THE HARDY FAMILY OFFICE IS INTERRUPTED BY CHRISTIAN CAGE- very bad

Ah yes, this Christian/Matt Hardy feud everyone was clamoring for in 2021.

JAKE ROBERTS PROMO WITH LANCE ARCHER- whatever
He said stuff. Archer has apparently “run out of patience.” Did he ever have any in the first place?
The most notable thing about this to me is that they found this completely destroyed barn to shoot it in.

Let me guess, Archer will demolish jobbers and anonymous backstage personnel until he has to lose to the next non-jobber he'll be facing. Haven't seen that before...

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE & THE DORK ORDER- terrible
Page accepts Taz’s challenge, but did seem to actually be paying too much attention. He was too busy joking around. Marvez asked him about next week’s world title match and noted that this affects him because he is the #2 contender… and Page completely ignored the question, but over his goofball buddies for their non-accomplishments, culminating in telling Evil Uno that he is a “champion to us” even though he lost last week’s main event clean. He also put Five over for having an “okay” new jacket. What a bunch of clowns. It says so much about the judgment of the people running this company that these goofs get TV time while Leyla Hirsch and Swole don’t and J.D. Drake is turned into a clown.

At this point, the whole Dark Order/Brodiesploitation/Negative One (who's actually listed on AEW's roster) stuff deserves his own thread.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Miro came out and said that he couldn’t let Penelope be outnumbered here just because her husband is injured, so he attacked the Varsity Blonds. Brian Pillman Jr. took him down and a school of referees swam out to pull them apart. Excalibur pushed that Miro was a “psychopath” for injuring Penelope’s husband and then volunteering to (in his words) “fight for her honor.” He’s not wrong that it makes Miro look demented, but mostly it made me think how odd it was that they did an angle to turn Kip babyface but are leaving Penelope as a heel.

To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if a guy like Sabian was let go soon enough. I know he's injured right now and that's why he's not around, but he really hasn't improved much in two years and dropped down the pecking order as time went by. They have already let Shanna and Kong go a few weeks ago and you have to imagine a bunch of others will follow.

MARK STERLING & JADE CARGILL PROMO- dumb
They’ve signed with a hotel. They are wasting Jade Cargill by having her do promos with this D-list clown instead of having her gain experience in the ring.

But did you know that SHE'S THAT BITCH! ?

Anyway, they really need to hit the brakes on her. I'm a guy with working vision so I can see why they're putting her on TV despite being green as fuck, but she kinda reminds me of Dana Brooke when she first started in NXT. She also came from bodybuilding/fitness, posed and flexed a lot, and could play the mean, bitchy heel alright, but they used her as a sidekick for Emma/Dashwood and wrestled sparringly on TV while gaining experience on the Florida loop.

My point is that she's one of the many people on AEW's roster who needs ring time on the Youtube shows before, well, actually putting them in proeminent roles on TV. You can use her as someone's bodyguard for a while if you really wanna show her body off that badly, but don't put her in big time spots immediately because she's pretty limited right now.

A bad show from AEW. “All Elite Wrestling” my ass. “Total Nonstop Goofage” seems more appropriate.

The bloom has been off the rose for quite a while now, but those shows really have shown why. Do they even have a long-term vision for the company? It's been two years now and I don't feel like they have done much quite frankly.

[Big Red Machine]

Anyway, they really need to hit the brakes on her. I'm a guy with working vision so I can see why they're putting her on TV despite being green as fuck, but she kinda reminds me of Dana Brooke when she first started in NXT. She also came from bodybuilding/fitness, posed and flexed a lot, and could play the mean, bitchy heel alright, but they used her as a sidekick for Emma/Dashwood and wrestled sparringly on TV while gaining experience on the Florida loop.

My point is that she's one of the many people on AEW's roster who needs ring time on the Youtube shows before, well, actually putting them in proeminent roles on TV. You can use her as someone's bodyguard for a while if you really wanna show her body off that badly, but don't put her in big time spots immediately because she's pretty limited right now.

I don't disagree that people need time on the YouTube shows or that Jade is green, but she has A LOT more charisma than Dana Brooke has ever had. They should be having her wrestle every week on the YouTube shows while having her be in segments on Dynamite building up a program.

[Thelone]

I don't disagree that people need time on the YouTube shows or that Jade is green, but she has A LOT more charisma than Dana Brooke has ever had. They should be having her wrestle every week on the YouTube shows while having her be in segments on Dynamite building up a program.

Both were fast-tracked because of their looks, but then used in very different ways. I'm not denying that Cargill has more charisma (although did she do another live segment since that first trainwreck with the Shaq reveal?) and is a much more impressive physical specimen than Brooke, but they've been putting her on TV almost every week lately, and on every promotional poster and video even though she's... kind of a nobody (with an impressive look) still. I guess it's really no different than Baker being all over the show even though Shida was the champion, but then it makes every other female wrestler on the roster look like disposable pawns.

[Big Red Machine]

I don't disagree that people need time on the YouTube shows or that Jade is green, but she has A LOT more charisma than Dana Brooke has ever had. They should be having her wrestle every week on the YouTube shows while having her be in segments on Dynamite building up a program.

Both were fast-tracked because of their looks, but then used in very different ways. I'm not denying that Cargill has more charisma (although did she do another live segment since that first trainwreck with the Shaq reveal?) and is a much more impressive physical specimen than Brooke, but they've been putting her on TV almost every week lately, and on every promotional poster and video even though she's... kind of a nobody (with an impressive look) still. I guess it's really no different than Baker being all over the show even though Shida was the champion, but then it makes every other female wrestler on the roster look like disposable pawns.

I don't know if Cargill has done anything else live since the Shaq reveal, but while that was a trainwreck, I don't think that was her fault at all. It was a combination of the randomness of it, and the Brandi's bullsh*t that were 85% of the problem. If the only issues were some of Jades awkwardness, it would have been a fine segment.