BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

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Big Red Machine
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BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 28th, '11, 07:04

OPENING SEGMENT- GREAT babyface promo by Angle. Bischoff’s promo was also good… but then we got YET ANOTHER Immortal beatdown of Kurt Angle… until ALL SEVEN Immortal guys run scared from Crimson with a baseball bat. THERE ARE SEVEN OF YOU! YOU CAN TAKE HIM! Also, Crimson is possibly the dumbest ringname in wrestling right now. What the hell was wrong with “Tommy Mercer”?

Why the hell is Ric Flair allowed to “lift the ban” or Kurt being able to wrestle? THERE IS NO BAN! Yes, Kurt made a promise… but promises AREN’T LEGALLY BINDING! And if there was a legally binding contract WHY THE HELL WOULD FLAIR OF ALL PEOPLE BE ALLOWED TO VOID IT?! He wasn’t working with Bsichoff or Hogan (or Dixie) at the time it would have been signed. Hell, why should ANYONE be allowed to void it? “You have to retire… unless someone lets you unretire” What kind of stupid stip is that?

Then Flair makes a 76 vs. 2 Handicap match tonight. Is there anyone in the world who actually wants to see this?

FLAIR & BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE- How did Bischoff and Flair “manipulate Kurt Angle to put himself in a position where he essentially forced himself to retire”? They put Kurt in the #2 ranking! KURT cut that promo out of nowhere. They had nothing to do with it.
Also, you would think that SOMEONE in the company would watch Impact and TELL PEOPLE that there is a guy with a camera sneaking around recording important conversations. You would also think that then someone might actually learn to CLOSE A DAMN DOOR.

SIX WOMAN ELIMINATION MATCH: Sarita, Madison, & Tara vs, Velvet, Angelina, & Mickie James- 0.5/10.
In possibly THE DUMBEST pinfall in wrestling history, Madison Rayne manages to KNOCK HERSELF OUT with her “loaded glove” by falling on it face first with NO SIGNIFICANT FORCE AT ALL!
The booking here was also dumb. How does Angelina benefit from winning? Tara got taken out after taking TWO MOVES! And THREE OUT OF FIVE falls by roll-up, plus the aforementioned crappiness of Madison and Tara’s eliminations add up to just a crappy match that is IN NO WAY the fault on the women who wrestled it.
Wow. Madison’s entrance music and the tiara DO NOT mesh well with riding in on a motorcycle.

MATT HARDY PROMO- AWESOME!

X-DIVISION #1 CONTENDERSHIP QUALIFYING MATCH: Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin vs. Max Buck (w/Jeremy Buck)- 6/10. Five straight minutes of awesome.
This promo might be the first time I have ever heard Red speak.

JEFF HARDY- MR. ANDERSON SEGMENT- Great promo by Jeff. Pretty good stuff from Anderson.

More ambiguous hype from Crimson about next week’s show and who “They” are.

Taz & Tenay tell us that Abyss is out indefinitely. Meaning that Doug Williams won’t be getting the rematch that we were promised a few weeks ago.

VELVET-WINTER BRAWL- pretty good, but the moronic fans really hurt this segment with chants like “KISS AND MAKE UP!” and “SHE’S A SCREAMER!”

POPE PROMO- AWESOME!

FLAIR BACKSTAGE PEP-TALK- Are we actually supposed to believe that NO ONE NOTICED THAT EY WAS IN THE IMMORTAL LOCKERROOM THAT ENTIRE TIME? If WE heard him, then don’t you think that guys whose ears he was yelling in heard him?

Am I the only one who finds it funny that it takes two months to get a “legal ruling” on Immortal but Jeff’s drug trial lasted for over a year? What the hell did Dixie do? Bribe people? If the Jeff Hardy trial has taught us anything it is that a trial can drag on a LOT longer than you expect!

INTERVIEWS WITH DIXIE AND BISCHOFF- Dixie's was a waste of time. Bischoff was okay.

MATT HARDY vs. KEN ANDERSON-4/10. WTF? FIVE MINUTES? BOO!!!!!!!! The post-match beatdown and save by RVD was good.

KURT ANGLE & CRIMSON vs. IMMORTAL ARMY- 3/10. Dumb and predictable.
Matt Morgan finally decides to show up and help stop the beatdown. Hey Matt, it would have been better if you showed up two minutes ago, when the odds weren’t so sh*tty. And then…
The lights go out and Scott Steiner either uses his powers of teleportation or night vision goggles to get into the ring while no one else can see him. If Scott had these tricks at his disposal… WHY DIDN’T HE USE THEM TO SHOW UP AND EVEN THE ODDS BEFORE KURT GOT HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM?!

And why did Steiner decide to show up for a fight wearing a SUIT?
This episode of Impact sucked.

Stupid Announcer quotes:
1. Taz (while Velvet is shaking her ass on the rope during TBP’s entrance)- “There’s a raccoon running rampant somewhere” Again… WTF DOES THIS MEAN. I DESPISE TAZ, ESPECIALLY during the Knockouts' entrances. I can’t f*cking take it anymore.
He comes off sounding like a moronic Jerry Lawler diva-perv wanna-be. When Mickie came out he said “Country? I LOVE country!” as if his only experience with country music is Mickie James. He says THE SAME MORONIC, STEREOTYPICAL (in the racist sense) THING EVERY WEEK FOR SARITA, and says his MORONIC-ASS PIGEON SH*T EVERY WEEK FOR TBP! NO ONE EVEN KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS! AND THIS “RACCOON” THING… again WTF DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? I am a male college student (from New Jersey, no less), so I like to think that I know just about every slang term for genitalia that exists… TAZ’S COMMENTS MAKE NO SENSE.
The reason I am going off on it so much this week is because this week he went so far as to make it seem like he was masturbating during TBP’s entrance. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, TAZ? When Lawler did it at least he managed to SAY THINGS THAT MAKE SENSE, and he NEVER went as far as this disgusting sh*t.
Allowing Taz to do this dumb sh*t every week is one of the many things that make Dixie’s criticism of the way women are used and treated in WWE look so moronic and hypocritical. I was never happy when Gabe would go out of his way to point out that Allison Danger or Mickie James was “Looking HOT tonight!” because that wasn’t what women in ROH were about, and to draw attention to it was counterproductive… with Taz… it is just a whole other level of bad because of what TNA claims to be.

2. Taz- “Remember, Mike, I’m sure you realize this, but this is an elimination match. A tag team elimination match”- Borash JUST SAID THIS a minute ago. I’m sure not even Tenay’s memory is THAT bad. And not only did this have nothing to do with anything Tenay said, but Taz telling Tenay to remember the stip is laughable considering that it was Taz who clearly didn’t know the rules to the Strap Match a few weeks ago.”

3. Taz- “Sarita has more in-ring experience than Velvet Sky, correct? So that’s where I think Sarita’s a little bit of a bully, so she’s exploiting that Velvet’s a little bit more inexperienced that her”- DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE YOU OPEN THAT ENDLESS WELL OF ASININE STUPIDITY YOU CALL MOUTH? Sarita isn’t booking the matches, so she isn’t being a bully by booking herself against someone with less experience! Furthermore, experience does not always equal success or talent, so even if she were booking the matches, this WOULDN’T BE BULLYING. These two things have NOTHING do to with each other. I sometimes wonder how Taz thinks of such stupid sh*t to say, but then I realize that I probably don’t want to know.

Tenay, genius that he is, follows this gem of Taz’s up with:
4. “We saw that counter into a backbreaker; a perfect example of exploiting that kind of experience advantage.” Yeah. I’m sure that in her nine years as a pro wrestler, and even more as a fan, Velvet has never seen a Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before. And even if she hadn’t… what is wrong with using a move your opponent doesn’t know exists? There is nothing amoral about that at all!

5. Taz and Tenay keep talking about Pope being “very defensive” since Joe confronted him with his evidence, and talk up how Pope was disrespectful to Joe by showing the pig pictures, but sound like they are still unsure of whose side they should be on, and if Joe is telling the truth. WE SAW POPE STEAL SOMEONE’S LAPTOP LAST WEEK!!!!!! ON CAMERA (BTW, why hasn’t Pope been arrested for that!? You would think that someone would have called the theft in).


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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Lynas » Jan 28th, '11, 07:39

to "Let the pigeons loose" = "Show me your boobs"

It is just like when Jerry Lawler use to always talk about the puppies.

It's apparantly an NY Term...

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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 28th, '11, 08:05

when madison was pinned she wasnt even legal,,and y's steiner in a suit,,well ive got a hunch,,,3 letters
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Lynas » Jan 28th, '11, 08:09

KILLdozer wrote:well ive got a hunch,,,3 letters

It's hardly a hunch....


It's pretty well documented.

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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 28th, '11, 12:43

Lynas wrote:to "Let the pigeons loose" = "Show me your boobs"

It is just like when Jerry Lawler use to always talk about the puppies.
But... why does he say it when they are bending over and showing their asses? Not even Taz is that dumb... is he?
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 28th, '11, 12:45

KILLdozer wrote:,and y's steiner in a suit,,well ive got a hunch,,,3 letters
They wear suits for appearances and stuff. If Kurt brought Steiner in to help him fight, Steiner would want to be able to move freely. A suit makes that hard, especially compared to something like a t-shirt and jeans. It's the same reason that they don't wrestle in the suits.
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by cero2k » Jan 28th, '11, 14:30

Big Red Machine wrote: Also, Crimson is possibly the dumbest ringname in wrestling right now. What the hell was wrong with “Tommy Mercer”?
at lest he's not Little Red anymore...
Big Red Machine wrote: MATT HARDY PROMO- AWESOME!
he's still got it, now he simply needs to drop some weight and that hairdo...
Big Red Machine wrote: Taz & Tenay tell us that Abyss is out indefinitely. Meaning that Doug Williams won’t be getting the rematch that we were promised a few weeks ago.
if he's out indefinitely, why not vacate the title ASAP as done with RVD???
Big Red Machine wrote: The lights go out and Scott Steiner either uses his powers of teleportation or night vision goggles to get into the ring while no one else can see him. If Scott had these tricks at his disposal… WHY DIDN’T HE USE THEM TO SHOW UP AND EVEN THE ODDS BEFORE KURT GOT HIS a** HANDED TO HIM?!
not that i didn't know it was happening, but I HATE how Taz and Tenay completely kil returns, debuts, swerves, etc. Taz constantly talking about "the phonecall", "he didn't show up", "no one's coming" and stuff like that doesn't allow me to forget that someone is coming, and so, by the time Steiner (or whoever) shows up, i'm like "oh, finally..."

i'm really starting to consider muting TNA from now on...

BTW, poor execution in Steiner's return, I mean, HE'S BIG POPPA PUMP, he doesn't need the blackout technique, his music alone brings chills to the wrestlers, he's the kind of guy who can walk down the ramp and beat down people coming at him. but that's just me.

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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Rabid619 » Jan 28th, '11, 14:51

cero2k wrote:BTW, poor execution in Steiner's return, I mean, HE'S BIG POPPA PUMP, he doesn't need the blackout technique, his music alone brings chills to the wrestlers, he's the kind of guy who can walk down the ramp and beat down people coming at him. but that's just me.
I agree with that too. The lights out thing only works for certain people like Sting or The Undertaker. For everyone else, it's kinda dumb.
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 29th, '11, 00:33

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote: Taz & Tenay tell us that Abyss is out indefinitely. Meaning that Doug Williams won’t be getting the rematch that we were promised a few weeks ago.
if he's out indefinitely, why not vacate the title ASAP as done with RVD???

From a kayfabe POV, Immortal want/need control of the titles, so it makes no sense for them to vacate a title that they own. With RVD, they wanted the belt off of him
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 29th, '11, 00:34

Rabid619 wrote:
cero2k wrote:BTW, poor execution in Steiner's return, I mean, HE'S BIG POPPA PUMP, he doesn't need the blackout technique, his music alone brings chills to the wrestlers, he's the kind of guy who can walk down the ramp and beat down people coming at him. but that's just me.
I agree with that too. The lights out thing only works for certain people like Sting or The Undertaker. For everyone else, it's kinda dumb.
These.
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by cero2k » Jan 29th, '11, 02:25

Big Red Machine wrote:
cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote: Taz & Tenay tell us that Abyss is out indefinitely. Meaning that Doug Williams won’t be getting the rematch that we were promised a few weeks ago.
if he's out indefinitely, why not vacate the title ASAP as done with RVD???

From a kayfabe POV, Immortal want/need control of the titles, so it makes no sense for them to vacate a title that they own. With RVD, they wanted the belt off of him
true, i forgot about that small detail.

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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Bob-O » Jan 29th, '11, 05:44

cero2k wrote:AND THIS “RACOON” THING… again WTF DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? I am a male college student (from New Jersey, no less), so I like to think that I know just about every slang term for genitalia that exists…
I keep a book of quotes, and in the year plus that I've been a member of OWW/WA/WR, only two quotes in that book have come from these forums. This is one of them.
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Re: BRM's thoughts on the 1/27/2011 TNA Suckfest

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 29th, '11, 14:14

Bob-O wrote:
cero2k wrote:AND THIS “RACOON” THING… again WTF DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? I am a male college student (from New Jersey, no less), so I like to think that I know just about every slang term for genitalia that exists…
I keep a book of quotes, and in the year plus that I've been a member of OWW/WA/WR, only two quotes in that book have come from these forums. This is one of them.
And the other?
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