NWK reviews TNA Bound for Glory 2009

[NWK2000]

Going into the PPV, my thoughts

Something that's been in my "To review" docket basically since I started reviewing shows for WR was TNA Bound for Glory 2009. The reason why I wanted to wait for so long to review the show is that I wanted to give the show its proper due. For you see, Fall 2009-Summer 2010 was the peak of my TNA fandom. I had this show in full in my I-tunes library, and I wanted to scream from the mountain top that this was the best PPV card I'd ever seen, and any haters were wrong. Then after Mania 30, the landscape of the WWE changed, and with that came a lot of indy luminaries and people on this very card being mainstreamed once again. That, while TNA creative heaped mounds of crap onto us fans. So with the passage of nearly a decade, does this hold up? Or was I just so desperate for a release from WWE's latter Ruthless Aggression era that Vince Russo nonsense was appealing to me. I write this review to find that out.

Opening video package: A montage set to a generic rap song about hard work and determination. After this we get soundbites of the wrestlers talking about their matches. This is very cool, and very reminiscent of a UFC opener. We get briefed on the AJ vs Sting storyline, where AJ teased retirement, Sting talked him out of it, so when AJ won the title he granted Sting a title match. Also Sting is teasing retirement?

Zack Wylde performs the National Anthem: The worst rendition of the song I've ever heard. He should be sent to jail for abuse of his whammy bar.

Ultimate X match for the X-Division Championship
Alex Shelly vs Chris Sabin vs Suicide vs Homicide vs Daniels vs Amazing Red (c)

Taz is having a bad night on commentary. Screwing up names, getting names confused etc. This match is your typical X-Division affair, with zero psychology. At least in 2018 WWE, usually, matches progress with little moves first and big, important spots last. Homicide does an off-the-cables Stunner, and then after that he's doing big lariats and Pumphandle slams, which seems kind of backwards. Poor Daniels is having a terrible time. First he's late to a Tower of Doom spot so he gets kicked in the skull by Suicide on his way down, then he basically falls head first off cables, to the point where Taz more or less says Daniels has died. After that, Red simply kicks MCMGs off to retain in a wet fart of a finish.

5.5/10

Lauren interviews the Beautiful People: The Beautiful People bully Lauren, they make fun of Taylor Wilde and Sarita, and make excuses about why they lost the first Knockout Tag Titles match to the babyfaces, as good heels should. Coming back, Tenay says they are "Just too much". I think I'd be a little more pissed off if I watched one of my broadcast colleagues get bullied like that but whatever.

J.B interviews Wilde and Sarita: Perfectly serviceable babyface promo. Sarita cuts part of hers in Spanish, and the gimmick is that Taylor doesn't understand Spanish.

We cut back to Tenay and Taz who run down the card before the second match because reasons. And then we get

TNA Knockout Tag Championship
The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) w/ Lacey Von Erich vs Sarita and Taylor Wilde (c)

We get some bullshit pre-match where Lacey uses her womanly wiles, flirting with the referee to avoid being sent to the back. Initially this works, but Earl Hebner overrules him and sends her to the back, but not before making out with her first (gross). Janky double teams by the babyfaces to start. The faces immediately get distracted by the heels. Janky arm drag to give Sarita the hot tag. Taylor and Madison wrestle somewhat competently. Velvet gets reemed by a Sarita missle dropkick. Stupid looking Beautiful Disaster Kick/German Suplex combo lead to the champs retaining

1.5/10

Legends Title video package: Hernandez won't join the World Elite. Leader Eric Young costs Hernandez the title at No Surrender. World Elite and the Main Event Mafia join forces to take out Hernandez, but they end up turning on each other, which leads to Kurt putting a bounty on EY. EY doubles the pay if Kevin Nash will join he and Hernandez's singles match, making it a Triple Threat for the Legends title., and the heels will work together to help Nash retain his title. Nash looks like an idiot for not seeing the double cross coming a mile away.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young interview: EY is such a good promo when he's a smarmy, not crazy heel that this makes this work. Nash on the other hand talks here exactly like he does in real life, which irks me. Plus he sounds like he's trying not to burp.

TNA Legends Championship Match
Kevin Nash (c) vs Eric Young vs Hernandez

As Hernandez fucks up his t-shirt neckthrow spot, someone holds up a Botchamania sign. The story of this match is that the heels double team Hernandez forever. They tease dissension but go back to double teaming. Hernandez eventually makes a comeback. Nash takes a crazy bump for a Hernandez missile dropkick (yes, really) EY more consistently makes an effort to bump around for Hernandez. Eventually the heels take control again. EY feeds Hernandez to Nash for the Powerbomb, but does so in such a way that he battering rams Nash in the nads with Hernandez's head, even though it's literally no different than how Nash would set up the powerbomb normally. EY pins Nash to be the new Legends Champion in a wet fart of a finish. Such a wet fart in fact, between the weird kayfabe breaking logic of the powerbomb setup, and the fact that Hernandez, the super talented ethnic babyface didn't go over, that the finish knocks this match down from a 5 to a 3.5

3.5/10

Heel tag teams brawl, until British Invasion convinces them to take out Team 3D: A fabulous promo by British Invasion. Unfortunately what saps this promo of all impact (no pun intended) is that we JUST saw a match which hinged on a deal between heels gone wrong.

Full Metal Mayhem for the TNA and IWGP Tag Team Championships
Team 3D vs The Main Event Mafia (Booker T and Scott Steiner) (TNA Tag Champions) w/Sharmell vs Beer Money vs The British Invasion (Magnus and Douglas) (IWGP Champions) w/ Rob Terry

One of each belt are on individual hangars, which, instead of a unification match like a sane person would book, means that they could just swap the belts around because we can't have two separate matches.. (research done later indicates that Russo flipped the IWGP Tag Team Championship without permission so this was a hasty solution)

The heels jump Team 3D to begin. Scott Steiner picks up one of the IWGP belts from the table and waffles D-Von with it. This irked me. A person shouldn't be able to just flagrantly use a duplicate of something that they're risking their lives in a ladder match to get. When the agreement breaks down Steiner and D-Von brawl to nearly the back of the arena. We miss a Spinaroonie. Booker T gets injured somehow, and meanwhile Steiner is spamming L1, hitting Belly to Belly Suplexes on everyone, and Williams takes a Frankensteiner.. The British Invasion hit Wazzap on Steiner Team 3D make a comeback, which is odd to see in a spotfest like this. Zack Wylde gets a chair shot in from the crowd. The other teams try to take it to Team 3D but are thwarted by a finishing move or a move through a table. It's Scott Steiner, the man going it alone that manages to cut off Team 3D. Scott takes a Powerbomb off a ladder through a table., Rhyno interferes on Team 3D, but that doesn't prevent Team 3D from pulling down the IWGP titles And here we see the inherent problems with this stipulation, even though they've "won" Team 3D are still active participants and get worked over by British Invasion, Magnus and Beer Money about kill themselves from a double suplex off the ladder. Beer Money and British Invasion joust for the TNA tag belts, but Rob Terry interferes and helps the Brits win.

I struggled with how to rate this. On one hand you had the residue of some good ideas (Team 3D's comeback, Beer Money vs Brits), but you basically had a ladder match cut in half, and both halves ended with interference, but one half was a slow video game match and the other was a halfway competent ladder match..


4/10

Awesome Kong vs ODB (c) vs Tara for the Knockouts Championship

Taz wonders how Poison, Tara's spider, gets an 'accompanied by' intro, and doesn't know Dave Penzer's name. It was here I noticed that the speakers sound like crap and you can barely hear entrance music. ODB and Tara work together against Kong, which makes sense, also Kong holds her own briefly. ODB gets Avalanche Splashed by Kong while in a Tarantula by Tara, which looked gross. Tara starts shit with a plant in the crowd and has to get pulled away by security. Tara leaves the match because of this. This kills the crowd. Luckily ODB gets them back in it by Samoan Dropping Kong. Tara comes back in but immediately gets smacked back to the outside. Oh, this was to set up Tara breaking up a pinfall. If that's the case why did she need to be thrown back out? Why couldn't they have timed Tara coming back the first time with the two count. ODB kicks out of an implant buster. Raisha Saeed runs down and prompts Kong to use a chair, Kong kicks it away Saeed slides the chair in mid Awesome Bomb, which allows ODB to counter to a facebuster and pick up the win. This match was clunky, but it had some pretty good stuff in it, and the finish, while yet another interference, actually gets this match more points because it required coordination and sets up the Saeed/Kong breakup.

.5.5/10

Matt Morgan interview. Starts off good with Matt explaining the feud with Kurt. Then says unlike other 7 foot cliches, he's a college educated man and there's merit to his bragging. This was bad. Morgan recovers pretty well though, by getting over that Kurt has ducked him, but it all comes to a head tonight.

Unrelated note, I noticed that a lot of the backstage stuff tonight is disorganized. For example, Morgan is the semi-main but his interview is aired while there are still two other matches to go before his own.

Submission match: Samoa Joe vs Bobby Lashley

Looking at this match now it's hilarious that they tried to make Bobby look like a shooter. Speaking of, poor guy comes out to boos, and then complete silence, despite being the babyface with taped ribs. Despite some interesting exchanges to start, we get loud "Lashley sucks" chants. Joe kicks the ref in the leg for some reason.. Joe works the ribs after a sucide dive, and then cuts off Lashley with an armbar during a comeback. The match ends rather abruptly after Lashley locks in an Anaconda Vice. I remember this finish getting shit on when it happened, and while that's rightful, I can see how a wrestling booker might see a how a controversial MMA style decision could draw money for a rematch and decide that that's the way to go. Unfortunately there are other storytelling elements that have to happen to make this not seem like pro-wrestling trying to copy MMA This aside, this is still the best match of the night so far. It would've been a 6.5 if not for the unwarranted (but understandable) finish

6.25/10,

JB interviews Mick Foley: Mick cuts a crazy promo while simultaneously explaining why he attacked Abyss.
Mick Foley vs Abyss video package: They could've done without this and left it at the promo.

Monster's Ball Match: Abyss vs Mick Foley (special guest referee Dr.Stevie)

Stevie isn't mentioned in the package at all, and Tenay just speculates this is Mick Foley abusing his authority We also learn thumb tacks lead to a DQ, in this No DQ match. . Immediately Foley jumps Abyss with a barbed wire bat, they climb the set gurter and Abyss takes a bump off it while Foley bumps onto Abyss with the bat after running off the stage. Both guys are gassed when they meet on the ramp. Unprotected head shots two years after the death of Chris Benoit. slow Double Arm DDT on a barbed wire board. More gross hardcore stuff, Daphne takes a barbed wire bump, Stevie gets destroyed. Thumb tacks. Abyss wins. This is a garbage match between a guy who's way better than this, and an old man. That and I do not have the stomach for excessive blood in wrestling that I used to.
DUD

JB interviews Kurt Angle: Bad. Kurt is more concerned about having had AJ Styles beat on Impact and the time expiring. He waxes some generic shit about how he's on a different level and respect.

Kurt Angle vs Matt Morgan video package: Weird. We get UFC style interviews, but we also see Kurt screw Matt out of the title and vice versa . This is basically two different video packages in one.

Kurt Angle vs Matt Morgan

The semi-main of this show has a fifteen minute time limit. The crowd is very pro Angle. Matt outpowers Angle to start Angle gouges Morgan's eyes and knocks him off the apron but Morgan rams Angle into the guard rail. Morgan hits a CRAZY top rope crossbody. Morgan misses a boot in the corner, and Angle works the leg. Tazz is explaining submissions, and actual analysis is happening. Eventually the submission is broken and Matt counters a running attack with a clothesline. Morgan makes a comeback but Kurt cuts it off, but Matt fights back. Kurt gets two off of a victory roll and runs into a chokeslam for two. Kurt kicks out of the Carbon Footprint at 2. Matt kicks out of the Angle slam immediately after. sloppy looking roll through to the Ankle Lock. Kurt keeps the Ankle lock on after being kicked away but gets kicked off a second time. Kurt kicks out of the Helluvator We get another spot where Angle keeps the leg on after being kicked off. Angle does the popup top rope Belly to Belly and they barely hit it. Angle hits a frog splash for two. Victory roll for the three for Angle. Beyond the question of "Why give Angle the win here?" it seems like they forgot about the technical stuff they set up in the beginning, and Angle could barely pull off some of his more difficult signature spots with Morgan. But I'm being generous about the match rating because it really was fantastic aside from those things.

7/10
Post match: Angle turns babyface by shaking Matt's hand. I feel like this would've been more impactful if Matt had won.

The announcers talk about the AJ vs Sting storyline, which the video package explained much more succinctly

TNA World Title Match: AJ Styles (c) vs Sting

Taz and Tenay incorrectly postulate that this is similar to Sting vs Flair at the first Clash of Champions where being in the ring with Sting will put AJ Styles on the map. Um guys? AJ's BEEN ONE OF YOUR TOP GUYS SINCE THE BEGINNING!

Anyway, Sting and AJ go hold for hold, and the story is that Sting is more powerful but AJ is speedier. AJ bumps like a boss for some Irish Whips of Sting and a clothesline out of the ring. Sting lets AJ back in. Enzuguri by AJ. AJ gets a jumping suplex on Sting for a two Now AJ and Sting reverse power/speed. Sting gets a backdrop on AJ. Sting rolls out of the ring after a dropkick. AJ crashes and burns after a suicide dive. Sting misses a Stinger Splash into the guard rail. AJ prevents a count out and beckons Sting back in . We get some sequences that expertly tell the story of AJ being the overzealous youth and Sting being the crafty veteran, able to execute simple counters to counteract this. Sting gets a tombstone after a reversal. AJ wildly bails out of the ring as if he's concussed. Phenominal Forearm gets kicked out of at 2 as does a backbreaker. Signature move reversal chain that ends in a Scorpion Deathlock, Stinger Splash followed by a second Deathdrop, AJ kicks out at 2 1/2. Sting locks in the Death lock, AJ powers out, strike exchange. Sting hulks up and hits a clothesline for a two. Sting puts AJ on the ropes. AJ head butts to block a superplex. AJ goes for the forearm but crumples on the apron. Sting goes to grab AJ but AJ hits the Pele and a Frog Splash for the three. This was a great match, the pacing and storytelling were consistant throughout

8.5/10

post match: AJ gets the mic, weird audio feedback and, bizarrely, Mike Tenay's voice can be heard as AJ gives Sting the floor. We get the non-commital retirement speech Sting would master in the future, and we fade to black. This was nonetheless a cool moment to end the show on.

Conclusion

The more time passes the less I can recommend this show in unless you're a diehard Sting or AJ fan. The level of talent TNA made its name with in the 2000s and the style that they work has been utilized more creatively, more competently, and more safely in the last ten years.