BRM Reviews the 2/22/2018 Impact

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 2/22/2018 Impact

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 22nd, '18, 23:50

TREVOR LEE & CAKEB KONLEY vs. LAX (w/Konnan)- 6.25/10
The announcers are talking Trevor up like he’s some sort of ultra-charismatic cult leader (they actually compared him to David Koresh by name) because he has managed to get Caleb Konley to follow him, but to me it just comes off as one idiot leading an even more gullible idiot. He doesn’t feel anywhere even close to being in the same league as Bray Wyatt, never mind someone like Jimmy Jacobs. The match was fine.

BRIAN CAGE vs. A JOBBER- squash

EDDIE & LASHLEY BACKSTAGE- this felt kind of pointless. If the point was to just hype the match up, there must have been a better way to do this because the way they did it seemed almost like it was designed to highlight Eddie’s weaknesses.

IMPACT GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Matt Sydal(c) vs. Petey Williams- 6.5/10 (based on what we were shown. I don’t like it when they clip a match without telling us it will be clipped).
I don’t understand why they went to this other promotion to do this. Sydal came off like a lesser star than Petey, which is not what you want when Sydal is supposed to be your top X-Division babyface, and it’s not like the fans wouldn’t have known who Petey Williams is if they did the match at the Impact Zone. Instead, TNA did this in this match in front of a 2-Sweeting indy crowd with their minuscule ring and where they had to use Pro Wrestling Destiny (idiotic name)’s crappy sound system for something they were broadcasting on national TV. Then they had Sydal cut a promo making a challenge for a match that is going to take place in another promotion and be taped far away from this building where the fans in question won’t get to see it. I don’t know if maybe they think they’re coming off like they’re the NWA sending their champion around to various places, but the environment where that makes you look like a big deal died twenty-five years ago. Now it just makes you look as small as the promotion you’re appearing in. If this was, like AAA or NOAH or someone in the UK drawing a real crowd and looking crisp then this would be one thing, but it’s not. It’s TNA booking their dude in some rinky-dink indy with a dumb name, and looking rinky-dink themselves for doing so.
But the Ishimori vs. Sydal match at Crossroads should be good. Hopefully Ishimori responds by saying it should be unification match so this stupid Grand Championship can go away forever.

JIMMY JACOBS (& KONGO KONG) PROMO/SEGMENT-
Apparently no legal action has been taken against Jimmy Jacobs & Kongo Kong for vandalizing a law office. Jimmy calls out Abyss but Grandma Jenny comes out instead, because apparently she was just hanging around backstage. This woman is James Mitchell’s ex-mother-in-law, right? Or am I not supposed to remember any of that, despite it being a major storyline element for several years, including during the biggest push of Abyss’ career?
If you don’t remember it, you should go watch all of the videos. They’re still on YouTube. ON TNA’S OWN F*CKING CHANNEL!
She calls them “sissy boys” and pokes Jimmy in the chest and tells him to change his ways. Jimmy calls her an “old hag” so she slaps him and Jimmy laughs it off. Jimmy is about to sic Kongo Kong on Grandma Jenny when Joseph Park comes out to defend her.
He tells Jimmy not to hurt her. Then he starts complimenting her on Thanksgiving dinner, even though it’s the end of FEBRUARY. Jimmy is upset that he has once again gotten Joseph and not Abyss. Okay… so just bust him open! It’s been well established that the sight of his own blood will (at least temporarily) transform Joseph Park into Abyss, so pull out your railroad spike and stab him already!
Jimmy again threatens Grandma Jenny, and Joseph responds by saying “my Grandma Jenny taught me to never lay hands on another man… but for you I’ll make an exception!” at which point I screamed YOU’RE A F*CKING PROFESSIONAL COMBAT ATHLETE!
Joseph went after Jimmy but was attacked from behind by Kongo Kong. Kongo started to pound on Joseph, but Jimmy pulled him off. If he wants Abyss to come out, why doesn’t he just keep punching Joseph until he bleeds? Then Jimmy and Kongo just leave for no reason. F*ck this stupid sh*t.

SYDAL TALKS TO HIS SPIRITUAL ADVISOR IN THE PHONE- this conversation only happened so that Josh could once again wonder who Sydal’s spiritual advisor is (it had so better be Don Callis), because we didn’t get enough of that already this half hour.

NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: Alberto El Patron vs. Moose- 4/10 from what we were shown, but it feels like they cut ten minutes out of the match. This was taped from an FSW show. The f*cking hard-cam wasn’t high enough to shoot over the fans’ heads. Alberto won, so I’m not sure why they aired this if he is leaving.

MCKENZIE INTERVIEWS EC III & TYRUS- snore.

BOBBY LASHLEY & EDDIE EDWARDS vs. O.V.E. (w/Sami Callihan)- 6.5/10
Babyfaces win clean. The match was disappointing, considering the time and talent involved.

ARIES/DRAKE VIDEO PACKAGE- this seemed like ti was supposed to air before last week’s title match.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Johnny Impact vs. Ethan Carter III (w/Tyrus)- 7.5/10
They had a pretty great match for a long time. Then we got a spot where Ethan had an advantage but got into an argument with Tyrus which prevented him from following up. Tyrus shoved Ethan and walked out on him, meaning their alliance lasted a grand total of one week. Mundo got the win to right afterwards, because G-d forbid someone do a clean job.

This show has really helped me sum up my feelings on the current state of TNA, and they are as follows. On the whole, Impact isn’t bad. But it’s not good either. For the most part, though, I find it bland, and the few places where the show doesn’t feel bland tend to be the things that frustrate me the most (Joseph Park, Allie, and their related angles). The announcing is just makes this worse, as it, too, is rarely offensive, but it never good (or even mediocre, either). They’ve got two announcers who each hover around, the 3.5/10. They don’t usually say things that make me want to see them flogged (Striker) or wonder how they haven’t been fired (Corino, Booker), but they rarely say anything that helps the show, either.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
Beyond Flesh
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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cero2k
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/22/2018 Impact

Post by cero2k » Feb 23rd, '18, 11:34

Big Red Machine wrote:
Feb 22nd, '18, 23:50
TREVOR LEE & CAKEB KONLEY vs. LAX (w/Konnan)- 6.25/10
The announcers are talking Trevor up like he’s some sort of ultra-charismatic cult leader (they actually compared him to David Koresh by name) because he has managed to get Caleb Konley to follow him, but to me it just comes off as one idiot leading an even more gullible idiot. He doesn’t feel anywhere even close to being in the same league as Bray Wyatt, never mind someone like Jimmy Jacobs. The match was fine.
Lee did used to have a larger stable, but now it really does make him look somewhat exaggerated


IMPACT GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Matt Sydal(c) vs. Petey Williams- 6.5/10 (based on what we were shown. I don’t like it when they clip a match without telling us it will be clipped).
I don’t understand why they went to this other promotion to do this. Sydal came off like a lesser star than Petey, which is not what you want when Sydal is supposed to be your top X-Division babyface, and it’s not like the fans wouldn’t have known who Petey Williams is if they did the match at the Impact Zone. Instead, TNA did this in this match in front of a 2-Sweeting indy crowd with their minuscule ring and where they had to use Pro Wrestling Destiny (idiotic name)’s crappy sound system for something they were broadcasting on national TV.
I was wondering the same thing, and by the lack of Petey since they came back, I suspect Petey ain't crossing the border and Impact wants to keep him relevant enough for the return to Canada.

JIMMY JACOBS (& KONGO KONG) PROMO/SEGMENT-
Jimmy again threatens Grandma Jenny, and Joseph responds by saying “my Grandma Jenny taught me to never lay hands on another man… but for you I’ll make an exception!” at which point I screamed YOU’RE A F*CKING PROFESSIONAL COMBAT ATHLETE!
no he's not, he's a lawyer that was pushed to the limit, but was never properly trained to be a pro fighter.

NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: Alberto El Patron vs. Moose- 4/10 from what we were shown, but it feels like they cut ten minutes out of the match. This was taped from an FSW show. The f*cking hard-cam wasn’t high enough to shoot over the fans’ heads. Alberto won, so I’m not sure why they aired this if he is leaving.
Patron leaving too? not that I'm sad
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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/22/2018 Impact

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 24th, '18, 19:44

cero2k wrote:
Feb 23rd, '18, 11:34
Big Red Machine wrote:
Feb 22nd, '18, 23:50
TREVOR LEE & CAKEB KONLEY vs. LAX (w/Konnan)- 6.25/10
The announcers are talking Trevor up like he’s some sort of ultra-charismatic cult leader (they actually compared him to David Koresh by name) because he has managed to get Caleb Konley to follow him, but to me it just comes off as one idiot leading an even more gullible idiot. He doesn’t feel anywhere even close to being in the same league as Bray Wyatt, never mind someone like Jimmy Jacobs. The match was fine.
Lee did used to have a larger stable, but now it really does make him look somewhat exaggerated
It's not just having one follower. He just acts like I expect an undercard heel goofball to act.


JIMMY JACOBS (& KONGO KONG) PROMO/SEGMENT-
Jimmy again threatens Grandma Jenny, and Joseph responds by saying “my Grandma Jenny taught me to never lay hands on another man… but for you I’ll make an exception!” at which point I screamed YOU’RE A F*CKING PROFESSIONAL COMBAT ATHLETE!
no he's not, he's a lawyer that was pushed to the limit, but was never properly trained to be a pro fighter.
He was trained to be a wrestler in 2012 after Aces & Eights kidnapped him and he wanted to be able to defend himself. They even showed him training in OVW. it was an idiotic thing to say under any circumstances, and it's even more offensive when to Joseph Park/Abyss because of their complete and total inability to keep any fact of this man's life straight.
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: Alberto El Patron vs. Moose- 4/10 from what we were shown, but it feels like they cut ten minutes out of the match. This was taped from an FSW show. The f*cking hard-cam wasn’t high enough to shoot over the fans’ heads. Alberto won, so I’m not sure why they aired this if he is leaving.
Patron leaving too? not that I'm sad
I nthought it was pretty much confirmed that he, Ethan, and Lashley are on their way out, and Eddie Edwards was "weighing his options."
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
Beyond Flesh
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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