Cero Reviews Impact Wrestling's Slammiversary XV

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Cero Reviews Impact Wrestling's Slammiversary XV

Post by cero2k » Jul 3rd, '17, 13:46

Intro Video - All about the tons of reasons why I've always loved this promotion. I'm hyped for tonight.

Robert Flores and Don West on commentary. Impact Zone looks packed by actual fans tonight. Show starts with the president of The Crash, Pro Wrestling NOAH, AAA, and Impact. They're out here because the first match is...

GFW/IMPACT Tag Team Championships Fatal 4 Way Match
Garza Jr& Laredo Kid vs El Hijo del Fantasma & DRAGO vs Taiji Ishimori & Naomichi Marufuji vs LAX (C) w/Homicide, Konnan, and Diamante - 7.5/10
It's Lucha tag rules tonight. LAX the most over team tonight. Santana and Marufuji starting the match. Drago and Fantasma have experience in the six sided ring, since it's the norm in AAA, but we'll see how Marufuji and Ishimori adjust.

Match started with everyone getting a chance to be on the offense for a while, and once Fantasma and DRAGO had the all scouted, they got in and kicked all their asses. After this everyone started going in and out, tons of double team moves, then several dives from everyone. Homicide and Diamante got involved at one point, Homicide dropping Garza with a Cop Killah. Finish came after everyone was taken out on the outside, Laredo Kid takes the 5150 by LAX adn gets pinned.

DRAGO must have been on of the most over guys just for the attire and moves, but he also had the biggest botch of the match falling from the top rope when trying an aerial move. There were other mistimed spots with DRAGO and Diamante mostly, but nothing that looked especially bad. Diamante did hurt her knee being powerbombed from the apron to a group of guys.

Post-match - Konnan says a new member is coming, and with the numbers, the takeover.

JB and Joseph Park - Apparently there was fine print that said the match was No DQ, to which Park thinks is good, but JB goes crazy at the idea of fighting Steiner in a no DQs match.

Moose/Williams vs Adonis/Drake Build Up Video - Good. I actually hadn't realized that Moose has indeed defended the title in Japan, Mexico, UK, and more.

Eli Drake & Chris Adonis vs Moose & D'Angelo Williams w/two other footballers - 6.5/10
Moose and Williams came in with tons of cheerleaders, nice. Moose and Adonis start the match, soon enough D'Angelo got his first professional tag, and you know what? He's pretty fucking good for a guy's day one. He's a good seller, his moves look well, he's athletic, and has charisma, I really hope considers this career. D'Angelo got the hot tag after Moose was in peril for a while, and he delivered. Standing moonsaults and all.

At one point towards the end of the match, Moose and Williams brought out a table, for a second it seemed like Adonis and Drake had turned the tables (no pun intended), but Williams makes the save and puts Adonis 'through" the table and pin. It wasn't a DQ because the table didn't break, so it's like landing a plancha on the floor, right? Awesome debut for this dude. He was actually better than Moose.

Post-match - Moose brings back Drake and puts him through the table, this definitely wasn't scripted.

ECIII Interview - McKenzie <3 She looks beautiful. ECIII said something about emasculating Storm, didn't pay much attention.

James Storm vs ECIII Build Up Video - Awesome!

Strap Match
ECIII vs "The Cowboy" James Storm - 7/10
This is the type of strap match that I like, where two guys are tied together (so no escaping), but not that stupid 'hit the corners' rule. These guys started the match hitting each other with the strap over and over again, ECIII would try to choke Storm on several occacions. Eventually, ECIII brought out the handcuffs he used some weeks back, and while trying to handcuff Storm, but somehow when the deal is done, Storm walks away and it's ECIII that's handcuffed. Storm proceeds to destroy Carter's back with the leather strap. The ref unlocks the handcuffs.

The big thing here is that after ECIII is free, he takes off his side of the strap and pulls Storm who hits the turnbuckle post hard, they go inside the ring and share a One Percenter and a Last Call, but suddenly Storm falls to the mat. The ref just told ECIII to pin him, ECIII hits an Angel's Wings and pins him clean. This looks bad for Storm. This was great so far.

Post-match - Storm is taken out on a stretcher. Not sure if legit, but ECIII looks disappointed as in this wasn't the finish.

Mantell and Karen backstage - Bruce Prichard is missing.

Park/JB vs Josh/Steiner Build Up Video - As good as it can get. Pope is on commentary for this match too. Storm was still recovering in the ring steps by the time Pope came out.

No DQs Match
Josh Matthews & Scott Steiner vs Jeremy Borash & Joseph Park - No Rating, Perfect Segment!
Match starts with Josh just running circles around Park, he's more agile, but he doesn't have the size to do anything to him. After a bit more fighting, JB and Park start running away to the back, Steiner and Josh in pursuit, and suddenly...The BROKEN UNIVERSE! (or at least the cinematic style).

Steiner and Josh pursue on a golf cart and later on an actual car. JB and Park get separated. JB fights Josh in a pool where he hits his X-Division style move, as they're fighting under water, we suddenly see a Shark fin swimming through the water and bite off Josh! It's SHARK BOY!

In the other side, Steiner is beating the shit out of Park, he puts him through a door and leaves him for dead. As Park is laying there, a familiar pair of red pants walks in close, IT'S JAMES FUCKING MITCHELL!!! He has Abyss's mask and gives it to Parks.

We're now back to the Impact Zone where JB is surrounded by Josh and Steiner. Josh locks in the Steiner Recliner, but Shark Boy makes the save, he gets then taken out by Steiner. Now Steiner locks in the Recliner, but this time Abyss and Mitchell come out. Abyss takes out Steiner, and Mitchell hands Abyss a bag of thumbtacks. Abyss Black Hole Slams Josh there, and JB hits a plancha on the thumbtacks! 1-2-3.

If they had tried to do a match inside the ring, it would have sucked bad, but this is the best way to do it, take advantage, hide the deficiencies and work around them. Huge pops for Mitchell and Shark Boy.

Alberto El Patron Interview - McKenzie <3 She's so pretty. Alberto says this is the biggest night of his life. Awesome babyface promo. He puts over his dad.

The Wolves Exploding Build Up Video - Perfect! Impact is killing it tonight with the video packages.

Full Metal Mayhem
Eddie & Alisha Edwards vs Davey Richards & Angelina Love - 7.5/10
Davey and Angelina make their entrance, but Eddie and Alisha don't wait for theirs and they bring the fight. Within the first minutes Alisha already did a top rope plancha to the outside, fell on a ladder, and hit Angelina with a trashcan lid. She is definitely bringing it more than the other three, she's fucking fighting on top of thumbtacks! Angelina is bleeding from the bridge of the nose.

This was a short match, but all of them went full force, there were Kendo sticks, trashcans, brainbusters onto chars, thumbtacks inside the mouth, and the finish, being Alisha putting Angelina through a table, and Eddie doing the same with Davey for the pin.

Low Ki vs Sonjay Dutt Build Up Video - Same as Impact, AWESOME!

X-Division Championship Best 2-out-3 Falls Match
Sonjay Dutt (C) vs Low Ki - 8/10
Talk about a flash back for the returning Don West, these two had to be some of the first guys he called when he started with Impact. Great match, for the most part grounded inside the ring. First fall was back and forward, Low Ki gets the pin after countering a Sunset Flip Powerbomb into the Warrior's Way, which actually hurts Sonjay enough for Low Ki to concentrate on the back/chest for the next fall. Second fall sees Low Ki injure his ankle doing a Foot stomp on the steel steps, Sonjay starts working the leg a bit, but he let's it go in the third fall. Finish of the second fall comes when Low Ki hits another Warrior's Way, but as he pins Dutt, Dutt rolls him over for the pin. Third fall was the shortest, mostly Low Ki dominating. Finsh was Sonjay stopping a foot stomp to the tree of woe, he then hits his own moonsault foot stomp for the win.

Sienna vs Rosemary Build Up Video - Great, Sienna too a chance to take a shot on Gail Kim too. I loved Sienna calling herself 'The Demon Assassin".

GFW Women's Championship/Impact Wrestling Knockout's Championship Unification Match
Rosermary (C) vs Sienna (C) - 7/10
Gail Kim is out there presenting both titles. Both women with big match attires, Rosemary with an army of lady ghouls; actually, there are a bunch of fans in the crowd with Rosemary facepaint. KM and Van Ness came out down quite early, but Sienna tells them to go to the back! They started the match with some Frye/Takayama brawling, and then just proceeded to have a back and forward match, hitting each other with every move they could think off.

At one point, Van Ness returned and saved Sienna from a pin after a Red Wedding, but it wasn't a clear win. Allie came out and ran her off with a kendo stick, they just went straight to the back. Sienna hits Rosemary with the title, but Rosemary kicks out. They wrestler a while more, and then Rosemary is starting to prepare the Red Mist, which Sienna blocks with her hand, so not only does Rosemary choke on it, but Sienna's hand is full of it (burning actually). Sienna rubs the red mist on Rosemary's eyes giving her the opening to finally take her out and pin her.

Jeff Jarrett Returns - Jarett's first appearance since coming back. He made this short to not waste time. He just comes out to thank the fans.

GFW Global Championship/Impact World Championship Unification Match
Alberto El Patron (C) w/Dos Caras and El Hijo de Dos Caras vs Lashley (C) w/King Mo and Co. - 7/10
Lashley came out with his whole Bellator camp. King Mo is getting hot with Alberto, Jarrett must be panicking on the inside. The tension is huge, it really feels like shit is about to go down. The rest of the groups leave as the match starts, only Mo and Dos Caras padre stay.

Patron worked the arm, Lashley the back. Patron had the upper hand for a while until he missed a tope suicida and he crashed and burned outside. Lashley started dominating from that point on.

The fiish was completely half assed, I would even say Lashley kinda didn't give a shit about it, I don't know. It all started when Dos Caras low blowed King Mo for trying to do something to Patron. Lashley then chased Dos Caras and pushed him, as Lashley makes it back to the apron, he's distracted by Dos Caras and Patron hits him with an Enzugiri and then sets him up for a weak looking tree of woe. I think the blame is all on Alberto's cheap looking finisher, the Tree of Woe sucks bad, it always looks terrible. Aside from that, the match was good.

OVERALL THOUGHTS
Great show by Impact/GWF/Whatever it is now. The finish of the main event does leave a sour taste in my mouth, but looking back at the whole show, it was a great one. Just having gone through the build up of all these matches for months, it really feels good to see the pay off. Big shows like this just feel better when you don't do them every 15 days. I'm looking forward to see what's next for everyone.

Commentary tonight was awesome, I really hope this team would stay forever. Flores had some hiccups, but it's his first time calling wrestling live.


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