June 1st, 2017
Show starts with some barbershop quartet band in the ring, and out comes....
ECIII's Celebration - I still remember the first time he did this. Band is playing ECIII's tune, it was ok. He's making the band sing "he's a no 1 contender" and the new ECIII Fight Music.
Alberto comes out and wants to fight, and is quickly interrupted by the Anthem Authority (Jarrett, Prichard, Mantel, and Tyrus), they fuck everyone over, Prichard books Alberto and ECIII tonight, both title and no 1 contender's spot on the line, and to make sure ECIII doesn't run, and that Storm and Magnus and Lashley don't get involved, it's contested inside the six sides of steel! Prichard is the biggest heel on Impact.
Grand Championship Match
Eli Drake w/Chris Adonis vs Moose (C) - 6/10
New judges are Mantel, Prichard, and D'Amore. First round had Moose start strong, but Drake worked the leg with more intensity and a longer, so Drake 30-27 easily. Second round was 2/3s dominated by Drake working the leg more and more, Moose only hit 4 moves and he got the round, this is bullshit. Round 3 was more balanced, but Drake still did better, but he obviously lost. This new judges table surely
Rosemary and Allie 'Last Week' Interview - "Demon Miss Mary." Allie wonders why Rosemary helped her, her voice is amazing. Rosemary said that even though the family is gone, the spirits will protect her? This promo was Bray Wyatt levels of 'what the hell did she say?"
Matt Sydal Interview - He is talking about tonight's Low Ki vs Everett X-Division match. He'll have his eyes on the fight. Interesting way to promote/announce a match.
There are commercials that next weeks Impact comes from India, and they're doing NYC shows in June, but I'm sure they're taped.
Swoggle is seen back around the crowd.
Amber Nova vs Allie w/Braxton Sutter - 5.5/10
Amber Nova is billed from the Garage? the Grudge? Anyway, she's flipping hot and wearing pretty much a bikini and military boots, it's like the Nitro Girls are back. Amber was a good little heel chick to get Allie in the ring and make her seem credible since she is kayfabe not experienced in the ring. Not a bad match, but it was a squash with 50/50 booking.
Post-match - Allie is so happy to win, she hugs Sutter, Hebner, and even Amber. This was cute.
Joseph Park and Jeremy Borash arrive tot eh Impact Zone.
No DQs, GFW Tag Team Championship Match, Tournament Finals
LAX w/Homicide, Diamante, and Konnan vs Veterans of War - 7/10
Great match where the big guys would have dominated the whole thing, but the No DQs and number's game played a lot into the match. LAX worked Mayweather's leg enough to leave Wilcox alone in the ring for Ortiz and Santana to hit the Doomsday Blockbuster combination to become double champions. Only bad thing was they didn't get much time, I'd be down to watch a longer match with these 4 guys.
Park and Borash Interview - McKenzie Mitchell is awesome. Borash says that he never wanted to wrestle, ESPECIALLY SCOTT FREAKING 'LOOK AT MAH PEAKS' STEINER. Park tries to talk him into not running away.
Andrew Everett vs Low Ki (C) - 7.5/10
Sonjay Dutt on commentary, and he's doing great. Awesome intense match, Low Ki wins with the Warrior's Way. They really built Dutt vs Ki for India, which sucks for Everett because at one point it was really clear he was to be champ, and they seem to be transitioning out of that.
SPUD RETURNS! - Swoggle is shown behind Josh, suddenly there is a sign that says REVENGE behind Swoggle, the man holding it is SPUD! SPUD grabs the hammer and starts smashing Swoggle. Not sure if he got hit or something, but Swoggle is bleeding from the eye. The one blood feud in Impact, and it's Spud and Swoggle!
Steel Cage Match, GFW Global Championship and Impact World Championship No 1 Contender's spot on the line
Ethan Carter III (No 1 Contender) vs Alberto El Patron (C) - 7/10
Back and forward match, nothing really out of this world when it comes to cage matches. Zero interference or shenanigans, Alberto straight up won the match by pinfall after the double footstomp and a from splash.
Good show with an underwhelming main event, it wasn't bad, but I just wasn't feeling it, I blame the cage to be honest, everything else was for the most part good. Next week comes from India and all reports say the show came off looking top notch, so we'll see.
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