Impact Wrestling 3/3/2017 Review: Lashley vs Barnett, End of an Era

[cero2k]

Impact Wrestling
March 2nd, 2017

No 30 minute talking segment, straight to the action...

Last KO Standing for the KO's Championship
Rosemary (C) vs Jade - 6.5/10
This match was a lot less sick than the Monster's Ball, a lot less barbwire and such, but some of the hits in this match were a lot stiffer. Also, the Last KO Standing rules made this match a lot slower than the previous matches. They brawled inside the ring, outside the ring, worked themselves to the ramp for the finish. Jade took two mists to the face, so I guess Rosemary has the power to simply generate it. Also, Jade is the worst at taking the Red Wedding, which she took 3 times before failing to answer the 10 count.

Moose Pre-commercial - Calls out Cody. Good promo.

House Hardy Promo - All of House Hardy is together at the Zoo, Matt tells Nero that now since he holds the broken brilliance, he should go and talk to Vincent Van Gogh who's soul is in the vessel of an obsolete mule. Señor Benjamin is back too.

Moose/Cody Segment - Good promo by Moose, haven't heard so much passion in his voice, maybe ever. Cody attacks Moose from behind and they brawl to a pull apart. They beat up security like a good tag team, and then go back to brawling until the refs, wrestlers, and agents come out. Among all the ones that came out, was Brandi, who shouted at Cody and told him to stop. As he was leaving, he took out Josh Matthews and among the commotion, Moose did a dive on all of them, and Cody finally left.

As we're back from commercial, Josh is back at the booth and is cutting a promo you have to hear to believe. He's pretty much saying that he is having trouble breathing, he think he may have some broken ribs, it is an outstanding effort by him being here, any other legendary announcer in wrestling would be out for days or months, he is here to finish the show and that's how awesome he is. Delusional Josh Matthews is in the house.

"Cowboy" James Storm vs "Mr. Pec-tacular" Jessie Godderz - 6/10
The third match in this Godderz vs DCC feud. This was probably the best match in this feud. Godderz had the upper hand at first until Kingston showed up, after that the match was competitive. At one point, Godderz locked in the Boston Crab for the submission, but Kingston distracted the ref, Storm was tapping out, but Bram took out Godderz with a chair and Storm with the 1-2-3. Decent match, I figured this couldn't be the end of the feud.

During this match, Josh and Pope continued their announcer's bickering about replacing Josh, at one point he crapped on Borash, so it seems this is where their feud starts. Josh bragged about being undefeated in his in-ring career. Josh has gone full heel.

X-Division Championship
"The Skywalker" Andrew Everett vs Trevor Lee (C) w/Gregory Shane Helms - 6.5/10
I mean, it wasn't PWG quality, but this was a really good match. Back and forward from bell to bell, Everett did most of the high-flying. Everett got distracted by Helms after hitting the Head-scissors DDT and when he tried to finish him off with a SSP, Lee reversed it for the pin.

During the match, Pope get word that the new owners will be here on the building and changes will be made. Josh goes crazy for not being the one getting the news. it seems they had perfectly planned when the re-branding would come in.

Brother Nero meets Vincent Van Gogh - Van Gogh tells Nero to get a pet shark. Lol at Nero telling Dalai Lama to fuck off. Nero then gets a premonition for the next journey, and this time, the whole House Hardy is going! They seem to be teleported to a flea market, and if it's a market of fleas, surely there must be a wrestling ring near. Seems like this is MCW Pro Wrestling. Hardys want a match for the tag gold of this promotion, promoter says that there's already competition, the No 1 contenders won a 64-man battle royal to earn that spot. Meanwhile we see Señor Benjamin take the contenders out with his taser, and so Hardys have a free pass. Promoter also said that he didn't have money to pay them, to which Nero said - "Money is for marks", and then proceeded to leave Impact and sell their souls to MeekMahan for money. Disgusting.

National Tag Team Championship Match
House Hardy w/ Señor Benjamin and V-1 vs The Ecktourage (C) - unratable, but DELIGHTFUL!
It seems like this titles are considered the USA titles from what we see in the graphic. Place looks huge and packed. Mid match the former no 1 contenders, something something Outlaws (I seriously couldn't catch their name), came out and took Nero to the back to beat him up, so they all started brawling in the flea market while Matt stayed in the ring against the Ecktourage. In the back Nero and Sr. Benjamin run off the Outlaws with fireworks and Nero makes his way back to the ring. After some more wrestling, a twist of fate and swanton combination, House Hardy procures a new set of gold.

Backstage Moose is being checked by the doctors. Drew Galloway walks by and offers Moose a title shot for tonight. Such a cool guy.

Before the commercial, Josh says that next, we're going to watch a recap of the Wedding. "It's the most controversial wedding in wrestling history, why is it the most controversial? because I said so" Jesus Josh, are you always on?

We got a really good recap of the whole Maria/Allie/Sutter/Van Ness saga. They managed to ignore all the bad stuff that I didn't think were necessary. We then get a video from lat week of Laurel crying backstage saying she hates Braxton and Allie. Mostly funny.

Grand Championship Match
Moose vs Drew Galloway (C) - 7.5/10
Moose is selling his injured arm. Josh is saying that Moose shouldn't use his injury as an excuse because he was also in the same 'fight' and he was immediately back calling the action after being tossed from one corner to another of the Impact Zone. First round goes to Galloway, who did win it. Second round was more even, Moose was given the round by the judges, I can agree with it. Third round was also even, so decision goes to the judges. Judges give the round to Moose and he is crowned the new Grand Championship. Title changes due to split decisions in wrestling are interesting.

Rosemary Promo - Ok goodbye promo for Jade, Rosemary won the war and Jade is gone.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match
"The Warmaster" Josh Barnett vs Lashley (C) - 6.5/10
I think Lashley debuted a new song. Barnett's wrestling is not that good, he's green, but he's so big and imposing that some of the stuff he does looks painful just for the force he applies to it. Lashley had the upper hand for most of the match, while Barnett kept looking for the arm to lock in the Keylock. Lashley takes the win and retains, so I take it Barnett is not coming back.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This was an interesting show, I was watching it through the eyes of someone who already knows what happens next week, already knows who is not coming back next week, all that stuff, so in a sense I liked how some people like Galloway and Jade were taken cared off. Wrestling wise this show was better than the previous weeks, storyline wise, we didn't get as many segments but most matches did end feuds. Really curious to see what's next.

[cero2k]

Correction: Seems I was mistaken in the Laurel Van Ness segment during Impact, I thought it was a video from last week, but apparently, it was happening on Thursday. Laurel Van Ness hasn't left the Impact Zone since her wedding went to shit!

[Big Red Machine]

Correction: Seems I was mistaken in the Laurel Van Ness segment during Impact, I thought it was a video from last week, but apparently, it was happening on Thursday. Laurel Van Ness hasn't left the Impact Zone since her wedding went to shit!

I love how they included the wine bottle, but they really should have had, like, a mostly-eaten wedding cake here, too, to explain how she hasn't starved to death. You could even have it so that the only part she hasn't eaten is the part that says "Braxton and Laurel."

[KILLdozer]

Correction: Seems I was mistaken in the Laurel Van Ness segment during Impact, I thought it was a video from last week, but apparently, it was happening on Thursday. Laurel Van Ness hasn't left the Impact Zone since her wedding went to shit!

I love how they included the wine bottle, but they really should have had, like, a mostly-eaten wedding cake here, too, to explain how she hasn't starved to death. You could even have it so that the only part she hasn't eaten is the part that says "Braxton and Laurel."

I literally had a joke already prepared about "surely she must have eaten something so of course she Left!"