OPENING SEGMENT- Team Matt Hardy Brand comes out to open the show. Matt whines a lot and demands his return match. Then Maria and Bennett show up. They blather on about miracles. Maria and Reby had a semi-interesting confrontation but that turned laughable when Reby threatened to stab Maria with her earring.
They decide that they should have a fight, but before they actually start fighting, the lights go off and
Apparently getting insulted by EC III has made Bennett decide that he doesn’t want to fight anyone at all tonight. That makes no sense.
Matt challenged Ethan to face himself, Spud, Tyrus and Reby all at once… and then we went to commercial.
This whole thing was a HUGE WASTE OF TIME. I will never understand why TNA feels compelled to copy WWE by wasting time on opening segments that go too long and rarely ever serve a purpose other than to set up more sh*t that no one wants to see. Case in point…
HANDICAP MATCH: Ethan Carter III vs. Team Matt Hardy Brand- DUD!
Ethan beat up the entire top heel stable on his own. Bennett and Maria were watching from ringside. Why? Because we had to have a DQ to save Ethan’s irrelevant streak. Then Ethan got beaten down until Beer Money came out to make the save because… um…
Beer Money cut a promo in which they said the word “fight” at least eighteen times in under a minute. Apparently Bobby Roode has booking power because he books EC III & Beer Money vs. Tyrus, Matt, & Bennett for right now. If you want to do a six-man tag… JUST BOOK A SIX MAN TAG FROM THE BEGINNING! They would have saved themselves almost half an hour! That’s ONE FOURTH OF THE TIME IN THE WHOLE SHOW… COMPLETELY WASTED!
ETHAN CARTER III & BEER MONEY vs. MIKE BENNETT, MATT HARDY, & TYRUS (w/Maria Kanellis, Reby Hardy, & Rockstar Spud)- 4.5/10
All of that was to set up a seven minute match in which Bennett ran to the back chased by EC III, leaving Matt and Tyrus to pin the tag champs clean.
JB INTERVIEWS GAIL KIM- okay.
BRO-MANS BACKSTAGE- apparently they’re a thing again. Eli Drake is awesome.
#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky- 1/10
So…. did TNA Management overturn last week’s match?
New music for Madison. It’s nowhere near as great for her as “Killer Queen” was.
The match wasn’t particularly good, and the intensity all felt fake (mostly because of the way their comments in the interview telegraphed it).
DREW GALLOWAY PROMO- fine
POPE & LASHLEY SEGMET- very good
JB is now on commentary.
EY PROMO- annoying. Also, he threatened to murder Jeff Hardy. Like, literally. He said “I am going to take his life.” Bro-Mans showed up, and I never thought I would be happy to hear a Jesse Godderz promo but if it stops EY from speaking, I’m all for it.
EY & BRAM vs. BRO-MANS- 3/10
Short match. EY and Bram have a screw-up, resulting in Bro-Mans getting the win. I think it would have been better to have Bram be the one to accidentally hit EY instead of the other way around.
GRADO & SHERA BACKSTAGE- Grado talks about the party he will have tonight. A guy walks up who Grado says is his friend “Scott from Chicago.” Scott proceeds to immediately assault Grado and Shera. This made me cackle with glee. He broke Grado’s arm with a pipe.
Wait… that’s Al Snow? Well… hooray for Al Snow, saving us from Grado!
GREG HELMS (& Trevor Lee) CALLS OUT EDDIE EDWARDS!- interesting
Eddie says he will be a singles wrestlers until Davey returns from his injury, but Helms has a different idea: He wants to team up with Eddie to take on Beer Money! I could get behind that as a one-off team (with Helms and Lee blaming Eddie for the loss, leading to a feud).
POPE INTERVIEW FROM EARLIER- awesome!
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew Galloway(c) vs. Jeff Hardy- 7.5/10
Two guys go out there and have a f*cking wrestling match with no bullsh*t. That’s all you need. It seems almost impossible that the same company who gave us this match also gave us the first ninety minutes of this show.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Matt Hardy comes out and says he wants his shot at Drew. Drew offers to give him a title shot right now, but Team Matt Hardy Brand as well as EY and Bram attack Drew and Jeff. Despite having just gone through a war, the babyfaces beat up the fresh heels. That was dumb. Then Jeff Hardy challenged EY to a cage match next week. He tried to get the fans to chant “Hardy’s revenge” and failed.
A bad show from TNA. Watch the main event, but that’s about it.
