ETHAN & DIXIE- a perfectly acceptable info dump
So they have this important conversation they need to have… and they haven’t had it in the past six days?
Dixie tells us that Ethan will get his title shot at Lockdown in a steel cage match, and that’s next week. Well… so much for spending some time actually building sh*t up, huh?
Also, Ethan says he has to do something in the ring right now.
EC III & TYRUS SEGMENT- good.
I hope I’m not the only one who giggled at the idea of Tyrus breastfeeding baby Maxell. Both guys cut good promos, especially Ethan.
Ethan held his own against the big monster, but then Matt Hardy came out and made it two-on-one and Ethan got beaten down but then he valiantly made his own comeback. Then Matt cut a great hypocritical heel promo challenging Ethan to find a partner to face him and Tyrus tonight.
ERIC YOUNG PROMO- OMFG SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING! DON’T EVER TALK AGAIN!
Beer Money comes out to confront EY and Bram. For some reason, James Storm felt the need to clarify for us that what we were watching was, in fact, Impact Wrestling and not Jerry Springer or Oprah.
TNA KING OF THE MOUNTAIN MATCH: Eric Young(c) (w/Bram) vs. James Storm (w/Bobby Roode)- 3/10
It just occurred to me that TNA is doing a better job of having their wrestlers involved in multiple feuds that the same time than ROH, CHIKARA, or even Lucha Underground are right now (although in LU’s defense, we’re only three episodes into the season). Don’t worry. I haven’t gone totally insane. NXT is still much better booked than TNA is, and EVOLVE is leagues ahead of both.
They wrestled. Then the bell rang. We were never told why (do your job, Christy!). Then they kept brawling around, and I’m pretty sure this is the first crowd-brawl TNA has had in a very long time.
EC III & DREW GALLOAWAY BACKSTAGE- Drew offers to be Ethan’s partner tonight, but for no real reason, Ethan turns him down and says he has to do this on his own.
Josh Mathews described Mike Bennett as “a man with a lot of bravado and swagger,” which put the following idea in my head: A stable of Mike Bennett, Jack Swagger, and the Bravado Brothers.” How wacky would that be?
BEER MONEY & BRAM/EY ARE STILL BRAWLING- has security really not managed to break this up by now?
MICHAEL BENNETT PROMO- good. Beating Angle will be an important win for him.
MANDREWS vs. MICHAEL BENNETT (w/Maria Kanellis)- 4/10
Fine for what it was.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good
Bennett beats Mandrews down until Drew shows up to make the save by chasing him off.
DECAY BACKSTAGE- fine, but the camerawork was atrocious. And why was it being filmed from behind that fence?
Also, as Josh asked “who the hell is that guy?!” This act does not need another person, and it certainly doesn’t need someone to run in and interfere and cost them this match. (I mean… they do in order to have them not lose cleanly in their own match, but then again they shouldn’t be losing this match at all. Putting the belts on Decay is a great way to put off doing Wolves vs. Beer Money for another few months).
DREW & MANDREWS BACKSTAGE- Drew cut an awesome promo in response to an idiotic question by the cameraman. Then Bennett jumped him but Drew fought him off until Maria distracted him which led to Bennett getting the advantage and putting Drew down. Awesome!
ODARG THE GREAT IS COMING- Did you know that “Odarg” is “talentless sack of crap” spelled backwards?
MATT & TYRUS BULLY SPUD- I hate Spud sitting there and letting himself be cowed like this. He should have grown past this point.
MONSTER’S BALL MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Wolves(c) vs. Decay (w/Rosemary)- 8.5/10
Why the f*ck was this not the main event? This was AWESOME! This is how you do a match like this, building from one spot to the next, escalating in violence. They even managed to do a comedy spot with Rosemary towards the end of this Monster’s Ball match and make it work!
ETHAN & SPUD BACKSTAGE- snore.
MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs. THE DOLLHOUSE (w/Rebel)- 3.75/10
Babyfaces win clean. Then the Dollhouse attack the babyfaces from behind. Then Velvet Sky returns from injury to make the save and challenges Dollhouse to a Lethal Lockdown match. That was all fine. But there was still no reason for the babyfaces to win here.
PROMO BY MAHABALI SHERA & ODARG THE GREAT- fine.
Did you know that “Odarg” is “sh*t! I already used my only good joke for this” spelled backwards?
EY/BRAM & BEER MONEY ARE STILL F*CKING FIGHTING?- okay… at this point, this has entered into the realm of the utterly ridiculous.
Then Bobby Roode had the gall to cut a promo telling me these two teams would fight again next week.
JESSE GODDERZ & ELI DRAKE vs. MAHABALI SHERA & ODARG THE GREAT- no rating, fine segment
At least we’re not pretending that his identity is a mystery… but that just makes you wonder why TNA is allowing him to wrestle in the first place.
An okay match with poor execution on the finish. It was ridiculous that Drake couldn’t get his shoulders up. That being said they got enough of the other little details right and I’m in a good enough mood right now that I’ll grade this as a segment.
ELI DRAKE & JESSE GODDERZ BACKSTAGE- no rating, GREAT segment.
Both Drake and Godderz kicked ass here, and Drake’s reasoning for wanting the match at Lockdown plays into the finish of the match they just had so well that quite frankly I’m astonished that it’s TNA that booked it.
LOCKDOWN RUNDOWN- for the first time in a long time, I’m actually REALLY looking forward to next week’s Impact.
That being said, I REALLY despise this screen effect they have for the card run-down graphics.
MATT HARDY & TYRUS vs. ETHAN CARTER III & ROCKSTAR SPUD- 6.5/10
This started off as a handicap match, but Spud came out just when Ethan needed him… but Ethan refused the tag for a bit and got himself into worse trouble because of this. I thought this was a great touch, but Josh completely missed it.
JEEZ! How the hell did they manage to not catch Ethan at all on that dive? Other than that and the spots where Tyrus had to move fast, this match did its job perfectly, and this was definitely the right time for Matt to get pinned by Ethan.
A great show from TNA, not only on its own, but as a go-home show for Lockdown as well.
BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
- Big Red Machine
- Posts: 27378
- Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
Hold #712: ARM BAR!
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
Me: Haha funny spelled backwards joke by BRM, let's see what it...
*actually reverse engineers the joke*
Oh....oh no.....
*actually reverse engineers the joke*
Oh....oh no.....
NWK Reviews is closed for business for now.
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
Big Red Machine wrote:ETHAN & DIXIE- a perfectly acceptable info dump
So they have this important conversation they need to have… and they haven’t had it in the past six days?\
They're in the UK, Ethan doesnt wanna hang out with his aunty. Ethan also doesn't like her, he may be avoiding her
DECAY BACKSTAGE- fine, but the camerawork was atrocious. And why was it being filmed from behind that fence?
Also, as Josh asked “who the hell is that guy?!” This act does not need another person, and it certainly doesn’t need someone to run in and interfere and cost them this match. (I mean… they do in order to have them not lose cleanly in their own match, but then again they shouldn’t be losing this match at all. Putting the belts on Decay is a great way to put off doing Wolves vs. Beer Money for another few months).
I agree that The Decay doesn't need a 4th person and if someone should join the Wolves it's definitely not a man. BUT this is Jimmy F'n Havok, so i'm cool about it and see where it goes.
MONSTER’S BALL MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Wolves(c) vs. Decay (w/Rosemary)- 8.5/10
Why the f*ck was this not the main event? This was AWESOME! This is how you do a match like this, building from one spot to the next, escalating in violence. They even managed to do a comedy spot with Rosemary towards the end of this Monster’s Ball match and make it work!
I liked it, but felt it was super edited out
MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs. THE DOLLHOUSE (w/Rebel)- 3.75/10
Babyfaces win clean. Then the Dollhouse attack the babyfaces from behind. Then Velvet Sky returns from injury to make the save and challenges Dollhouse to a Lethal Lockdown match. That was all fine. But there was still no reason for the babyfaces to win here.
I actually got a bit excited of how they sold the Lethal Lockdown, i know it's gonna suck, but i liked the announcement
PROMO BY MAHABALI SHERA & ODARG THE GREAT- fine.
Did you know that “Odarg” is “sh*t! I already used my only good joke for this” spelled backwards?
Your most hated man and my most hated man. This is our tag team kryptonite
EY/BRAM & BEER MONEY ARE STILL F*CKING FIGHTING?- okay… at this point, this has entered into the realm of the utterly ridiculous.
i did find it funny they kept fighting, but i liked that it all lead to building a match inside a cage
- Big Red Machine
- Posts: 27378
- Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
cero2k wrote:Big Red Machine wrote:ETHAN & DIXIE- a perfectly acceptable info dump
So they have this important conversation they need to have… and they haven’t had it in the past six days?\
They're in the UK, Ethan doesnt wanna hang out with his aunty. Ethan also doesn't like her, he may be avoiding her
If it's important business (which it seemed to be), it's pretty irresponsible to let it wait. And if that's not the case, then say so! Have Dixie say "Ethan, you've been avoiding me. We need to talk about X" (or if it is supposed to be a secret, have Ethan cut her off and acknowledge that he knows they have to talk).
MONSTER’S BALL MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Wolves(c) vs. Decay (w/Rosemary)- 8.5/10
Why the f*ck was this not the main event? This was AWESOME! This is how you do a match like this, building from one spot to the next, escalating in violence. They even managed to do a comedy spot with Rosemary towards the end of this Monster’s Ball match and make it work!
I liked it, but felt it was super edited out
Oh. I've never been good at telling these sorts of things.
MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs. THE DOLLHOUSE (w/Rebel)- 3.75/10
Babyfaces win clean. Then the Dollhouse attack the babyfaces from behind. Then Velvet Sky returns from injury to make the save and challenges Dollhouse to a Lethal Lockdown match. That was all fine. But there was still no reason for the babyfaces to win here.
I actually got a bit excited of how they sold the Lethal Lockdown, i know it's gonna suck, but i liked the announcement
Same here. It definitely felt important and innovative.
PROMO BY MAHABALI SHERA & ODARG THE GREAT- fine.
Did you know that “Odarg” is “sh*t! I already used my only good joke for this” spelled backwards?
Your most hated man and my most hated man. This is our tag team kryptonite
EY/BRAM & BEER MONEY ARE STILL F*CKING FIGHTING?- okay… at this point, this has entered into the realm of the utterly ridiculous.
i did find it funny they kept fighting, but i liked that it all lead to building a match inside a cage
Yeah, but that could have been done without them fighting for over an hour uninterrupted.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
Big Red Machine wrote:
EY/BRAM & BEER MONEY ARE STILL F*CKING FIGHTING?- okay… at this point, this has entered into the realm of the utterly ridiculous.
i did find it funny they kept fighting, but i liked that it all lead to building a match inside a cage
Yeah, but that could have been done without them fighting for over an hour uninterrupted.
Maybe they're building to a 60 minute Ironman tag match
- Big Red Machine
- Posts: 27378
- Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
cero2k wrote:Big Red Machine wrote:
EY/BRAM & BEER MONEY ARE STILL F*CKING FIGHTING?- okay… at this point, this has entered into the realm of the utterly ridiculous.
i did find it funny they kept fighting, but i liked that it all lead to building a match inside a cage
Yeah, but that could have been done without them fighting for over an hour uninterrupted.
Maybe they're building to a 60 minute Ironman tag match
60 minutes? So what? They just went ninety in a Last Team Standing match! We just didn't see it on camera is all.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
- Big Red Machine
- Posts: 27378
- Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Re: BRM Reviews the 2/16/2016 Impact (great!)
In other backwards news, "Raymond Rowe" with the syllables mixed around sounds suspiciously like "Roman Reigns."
Hold #712: ARM BAR!
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests