BRM Reviews the 2/24/2023 Rampage

[Big Red Machine]

AUSSIE OPEN VS. YOUNG BUCKS (w/Kenny Omega)- 7.25/10
Don Callis was on commentary for this match, joining Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Chris Jericho.
They did their superkicks and flips and head-drops and stuff. The Bucks were the structural babyfaces here, although it’s hard to care about them as babyfaces when they have done absolutely nothing likable in what feels like several years. The Bucks set up for the Meltzer Driver but oh no! The House of Black used their magical powers to turn the lights out and prevent them from hitting the move because the Buck who jumps couldn’t see where to aim, and the other Buck couldn’t just hit a normal Tombstone Piledriver because he couldn’t see the ring and thus couldn’t aim his landing after jumping up in air, and thus he was just forced to hold the opponent up until the opponent gathered the strength to reverse the move. How dare that House of Black use their magical powers to stop the Young Bucks from winning!
A few minutes later, the Bucks hit the BTE-Trigger and the referee went down to count the pin but the House of Black used their magic to turn the lights off so he couldn’t see the pinned wrestler’s shoulders and thus couldn’t count the pin.

JUST KIDDING!
That would require someone to actually think about the implication that someone possessing such magical powers has on pro wrestling. No. Instead the House of Black used their powers at one moment so that their feud would be “advanced” because they tried to cost the Young Bucks the match, and they didn’t use them at an other point that would prevent the Bucks from winning because if they did, the booker wouldn’t be able to give the clean finish he is so proud of almost always giving us.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- dumb
Kenny Omega got into the ring to celebrate with the Young Bucks, but then the lights went out and the House of Black teleported themselves to ringside, surrounding the ring. If you were wondering why Brandon Cutler and Michael Nakazawa weren’t at ringside for this match like they all for all Elite matches… it was because if they were here, the House of Black would have to attack them, and that would create a distraction that the Elite could have taken an advantage of, so of course they were just absent from ringside with no explanation. “Storytelling.”
Then the House of Black magically turned off the lights and teleported away because MIND GAMES! Yeah. We’re going to build this feud up with mystical stalling because mind games. Meanwhile, the PPV challengers for the Trios Titles are 1-2 in their past three televised tries matches, which takes us back AUGUST… and their only televised trios win was over a team of quasi-jobbers (the Factory).

LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS BEST FRIENDS- fine
They start to point out that they lost the tag team battle royale because of interference by Satnam Singh, but then get attacked by the Firm (specifically Big Bill, Lee Moriarty, and Gunn Club). They each got hit with a steel pipe. If this wasn’t a team of annoying clowns, it probably would have made me want to see them get some revenge. After the break, we were shown Bryce Remsburg, Orange Cassidy, Danhausen, and medical people checking on Best Friends.

WILLOW NIGHTINGALE VS. TONI STORM (w/Saraya)- 6/10
Excalibur pushed the idea that Toni’s new meaner attitude started when she lost the world title… and when you frame it that way, it’s harder for me to be upset at her because she was SCREWED out of that title, and no one gave a sh*t. Even management was perfectly happy to have this cheater as their champion because she was a home-grown star. Obviously Toni and Saraya taking things out on the likes of Willow Nightingale is wrong, but I can certainly see why she would have soured on the company in the specific way that she has.
And before you ask: No, none of this causes me to reevaluate this storyline or withdraw any of my criticisms of it. The reason for that is because- and this is key- nothing that I just said has ever been so much as hinted at on TV, never mind being acknowledged. At no point has anyone ever suggested that Jamie Hayter is an underserving champion who only won the belt from Toni Storm because she and her pals cheated, and at no point has it been suggested that AEW management has wronged Toni Storm by not booking a rematch.
Toni won after Saraya saved her from a Doctor Bomb and distracted Willow. She was a world champion just a few months ago, but since turning heel, Toni Storm now needs interference not just to win, but merely to step herself from losing. And, of course, we’re supposed to be upset about this cheating, but we’re supposed to ignore the fact that Toni was cheated out of the world title due to similar tactics.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Saray went to spray-paint Willow, but Ruby Soho made the save. The heels went to retreat up the ramp, but they were cut off by Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter. Excalibur claimed that Ruby Soho was “once again caught in the middle between these two warring groups,” which was completely false. She has no interest in joining either one. That is absolutely not the same thing as being caught in the middle.

AFTER DYNAMITE, LEXI NAIR’S INTERVIEW WITH THE ACCLAIMED & BILLY GUNN WAS INTERRUPTED BY AN ATTACK FROM TEAM TNA- snore
The exact same angle as before.

JADE CARGILL VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- snore
She said nothing new.

BRYCE SATURN VS. LANCE ARCHER (w/Jake “the Snake” Roberts)- squash
I have absolutely no faith that they will do anything with Archer this time, either. Remember those video packages for Will Hobbs? Where’d that go? They also have Bandido, Luchasaurus, Juice Robinson, Matt Sydal, Brian Pillman Jr., Rey Fenix, Penta el 0M, Pac, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, Tay Melo, Jake Hager, and Riho sitting around not doing anything… and that’s not even including people like Red Velvet and Darby Allin who just finished up programs, injured people, or people like Miro and FTR who are not being used for other reasons.

KEITH LEE & DUSTIN RHODES VS. MOGUL AFFILIATES VIDEO PACKAGE- good

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- okay
Action Andretti was decent. Daniel Garcia cut Sammy Guevara’s promo for him and was dull.

Big Bill is getting an All-Atlantic Title shot on Dynamite despite having ZERO wins against non-jobbers. Also advertise for Dynamite is yet more talking by Bryan Danielson and MJF.

STOKELY HATHAWAY REVEALS WHO FEEL FACE HOOK NEXT WEEK- dumb
They announced that it would be Matt Hardy after first making everyone think it would be Ethan Page. At first Matt was against this, but then changed his mind. Also, he Isiah Kassidy, and Ethan Page decided unilaterally that the match would be no DQs and that everyone would be barred from ringside. Also, apparently the FTW Title will be on the line.

The Face of the Revolution Ladder match will be on TV this year, removing anything that made its stupid name make even the slightest bit of sense. Kommander will be making his debut in this match.

ACTION ANDRETTI VS. SAMMY GUEVARA (w/Daniel Garcia)- 7/10
Great stuff. The heels cheated to win.



This was a good episode of Rampage in the ring, but a dull and frustrating one outside of it.