BRM Reviews the 2/1/2023 Dynamite (the usual great wrestling and shoddy storytelling)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 2/1/2023 Dynamite (the usual great wrestling and shoddy storytelling)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 3rd, '23, 13:48

ADAM PAGE vs. JON MOXLEY- 8.5/10
Moxley charged Page in the aisle when Page wasn’t paying attention. That felt very heelish to me. I don’t doubt that Moxley feels angry enough to do that, but the fact that this feud- which I’m still really not clear what it’s about or why they’re quite so angry at each other (and especially in comparison to Moxley’s lack of caring about MJF and getting the world title back)- has become this heated doesn’t reflect well on either of these guys, in my opinion. It makes them less likable, and they’re both supposed to be babyfaces.
Anyway, they used the fact that Page was never in the ring to brawl allow them to brawl through the crowd and to use a chair when they got back to ringside. Moxley bled a lot (shocking, I know), although this time I think it was hard-way from a thrown chair.
The announcers noted that a loss for Moxley tonight would be the first time he has lost two singles matches in a row in AEW, and it would be a huge mental blow to him to lose… which is the same story they told with Jericho in December. And that’s just going to happen sometimes, but if it is going to happen, it’d be nice if the announcers had taken a moment to point to Jericho as an example of this so that it doesn’t feel like they’re just talking in platitudes.
Like Jericho last week, Taz told us that “there have been a lot of live rounds” in this match… as opposed to what? Fake strikes?
The match was exactly the intense, hard-hitting brawl you’d expect, and it was excellent, as you would also expect. And, based on the story of this feud, you also probably expected them to work over each other’s heads, which they did. What I didn’t expect was for Page to pull out a freakin’ Small Package Driver! Has anyone used that move on a regular basis since Tyler Black signed with WWE? Someone should start using it.
The finish saw Page dominating towards the end, and after Moxley kicked out of a big sequence of a Tombstone Piledriver followed by a Buckshot Lariat, Page locked on the Bulldog Choke, but Moxley rolled him up and got the pin.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- hated it
They’re still angry at each other. Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler YUTA came out, with Claudio feeling like the only adult in the room and getting between them. The announcers pushed that Moxley “doesn’t feel that he got the decisive win that he wanted.” Well… now I feel like I wasted my time watching this match. I was already sick of this going-nowhere feud (basically every moment that wasn’t them wrestling was boring, repetitive, or confusing), and now it’s going to continue, with what I’m sure will be the same three weeks of non-descript blabbing at each other until one of them finally challenges each other to a gimmick match at the PPV (which I assume will be Last Man Standing because it’s the only gimmick that seems like it can guarantee the “decisive victory” that Moxley wants… although a “no roll-ups” match would make me laugh), at which point I’ll have to sit through one more week of them blabbing at each other before the PPV.

SAMOA JOE VS. DARBY ALLIN VIDEO PACKAGE- good
As a whole, this was good, but Darby randomly deciding that he wants this to be their final match, so he will forfeit his right to a rematch if he loses is ridiculous. You might as well have just had him say that he wants this stipulation because Wardlow is coming back to feud with Joe tonight and Tony Khan wants to tie up all of the loose ends… although this is so forced that it’s not really even tying up a loose end so much as taping it down with duct tape that doesn’t match the tapestry (or however extending this metaphor would work).
And yes, once Darby said this, I knew exactly what was happening in the main event because if Wardlow and Joe were only going to be feuding over the ROH TV Title, this match wouldn’t have been booked in the first place.


RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS JAMIE HAYTER & THE BUNNY (& BUTCHER & BLADE)- snore
At the beginning Renee noted that they had agreed to no physicality during this interview. Are these two feuding? It’s so out of the blue that anyone would even think to insist on that for this interview. The Bunny says that Hayter isn’t the kind of champion to not accept a challenge, so she challenges her to an Eliminator match. Hayter says (almost literally) “oh yes. I love challenges.” She accepts the match and they shake hands. Hayter CHEATED TO WIN THIS TITLE, and now she’s acting like a total babyface. She didn’t turn. Tony picked her up and dropped her on the other side of the moral event horizon.
RENEE GETS WORD THAT SOMETHING IS HAPPENING, AND ASKS FOR SOMEONE TO PUT IT UP ON THE MONITOR THAT THEY ARE ALL STANDING NEAR- grrrr
Said something turns out to be Toni Storm and Saraya beating up Britt Baker. Jamie Hayter ran off to help her friend. In every other situation, they would cut away to the important thing that is happening, but this time they put it up on a little screen instead… and wouldn’t you know it, the fact that this one time they did something totally different from how they would do it any other time allowed one of the characters to take action when if they had done it he way they do it every other time, she wouldn’t have known what was happening and thus wouldn’t have been able to take action. Stuff like this, even though it is plausible, makes the show feel less real to me because it makes it clear that everything is being manipulated by a storyteller. The less organic things feel on your show, the less real it feels, and thus the harder it is to get invested in the characters and results.

TWO JOBBERS vs. THE ACCLAIMED (w/Billy Gunn)- DUD!
Okay… I’m missing something in this pre-match rap. Were Wayne Bloom and Mike Enos sexual partners? Because that’s the only way Caster’s line makes sense to me.
Those ten seconds of the jobbers being stupid goofs before the match are ten seconds of Danielson vs. Thatcher that I have been robbed of.
Normally, when someone not in the match gets up onto the apron, the referee immediately runs over and orders them to get down. In this match, Billy Gunn not only got up onto the apron, but even got into the ring and stood there for a while so he could be involved in a big scissoring spot the Acclaimed were doing…and Aubrey Edwards just f*cking stood there. And for what? So Billy Gunn can be involved in a spot that gets a pop from the crowd? F*ck Billy Gunn. This is a guy who WWE tried to give a big push to but realized within months that it was a title failure and had The Rock turn him into a living punchline. Remember this?

Why does AEW seem to constantly be doing things whose only benefit is stroking Billy Gunn’s ego by letting him do things that get pops?
So yeah. Between that and the fact that this was a pointless squash (the post-match segment could have been done as a backstage segment) that took time away from Dragon vs. Thatcher, I’m giving it a dud.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine for what it was, but I’m warry of where it is going
Gunn Club came out and said that they wanted an answer about whether they could have a title shot. Bowens asked the crowd if Gunn Club deserved a title shot. Much to my relief, they said “no.” The two teams got in each other’s faces... and this was too much for Billy Gunn to take, and he walked off in disgust. One of the Gunns goaded Billy for doing “exactly what you did our entire childhood” by walking out. He then told Billy to “go drown your sorrows in the bottom of a pill bottle.” I laughed my ass off at that. I hope that was purposeful heelish making yourself look dumb and not a legit Sid Vicious moment.
That got Billy to come back and get in Colten’s face and cut a promo on them saying that if he is going to say things like that, he had better have his “big-boy pants on” and be ready to deal with the consequences next week when they have to face the Acclaimed for the tag titles. This is so clearly a trap, and I am worried that the Acclaimed will actually fall for it and lose the titles and wind up looking stupid. They did seem put off by Billy putting their titles on the line for them, so maybe they will see it coming. Hopefully they do.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS JACK PERRY- okay
Marvez asks Jungle Boy about the future of Jungle Hook. JB says that his tag team days are behind him, but he vows to b a singles champion by the end of the year.

KONOSUKE TAKESHITA vs. BRIAN CAGE (w/Prince Nana)- 7.5/10
Cage loses again. In fact, not only did he lose, but Takeshita did a bunch of power spots to him.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY- bad
They were in full clown mode, claiming to have not used a baseball bat last week, etc. They tell Starks that if he wants another match with Chris Jericho, he must successfully run a gauntlet next week of first Angelo Parker, then Matt Menard, then either Daniel Garcia or Sammy Guevara.
Why stop there? Why not both Garcia and Guevara? And why not Jake Hager, too? Hell, if you’re stealing MJF’s gimmick, why not get some hired mercenaries like MJF has done before?
And, of course, there is the question of why the hell Tony Khan would allow this. Why doesn’t Tony just say “no. That’s ridiculous. Chris, you are booked against Ricky Starks next week because I’m the matchmaker and I say so?”
THE ELITE ARE BACK TO BEING GOOFS- very bad
They were at a basketball court to answer Top Flight’s challenge. Despite them being in this random gym, Stokely Hathaway, Ethan page, Matt Hardy, and Isiah Kassidy managed to find them. They challenged them to a match (well… not Stokely) on Rampage. The Elite accepted. They yelled at the other guys for being rude to Brandon Cutler, then were rude to him in the exact same way right after that.

BRYAN DANIELSON vs. TIMOTHY THATCHER- 7.5/10
This only got fourteen minutes. F*ck you, Tony Khan.
Dragon won cleanly. MJF had tried to interfere but Takeshita stopped him. They brawled to the back.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
MJF and Takeshita are still brawling. Security, referees, and road agents eventually broke them up. Renee Young showed up to relay word from Tony Khan that these two were now booked in an Eliminator match next week on Dynamite. I didn’t like that the way they did this took us away from being able to focus on Danielson’s victory and the ordeal he had to survive to get that victory.

SWERVE STRICKLAND & MOGUL AFFILIATES VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- meh
After last week’s confrontation with Dustin Rhodes, Swerve cut a promo telling us that he doesn’t like the Rhodes family because Dusty gave Keith Lee the “limitless” nickname. And on Rampage he vows to take out… Brian Pillman Jr. Why didn’t Tony just book Swerve against Dustin?

LEXI NAIR’S INTERVIEW WITH RUSH IS INTERRUPTED BY MJF- snore
Excalibur pitched to this as Renee standing by wit MJF. Oops.
Rush will face Dragon next week. Lexi had just enough time to ask Rush for his thoughts on this big announcement when MJF walked in. Was he standing by with Renee right outside the door?
Anyway, he offered Rush a lot of money to beat Danielson.

AEW TBS TITLE MATCH: Jade Cargill(c) (w/Leila Grey) vs. Red Velvet- 5.25/10
Red Velvet, the supposed babyface, jumped Jade from behind before the bell, like a gutless coward.
Kiera Hogan came out to attack Leila Grey, but was ejected from ringside. Even when a second referee showed up to deal with her, Aubrey Edwards still kept paying attention to her instead of the match, and thus missed Red Velvet getting pinfall on Jade. Compare Aubrey’s behavior here to what she when Billy Gunn hopped up onto the apron in the Acclaimed’s match.
The match was fine. Jade won. I don’t like the idea of someone getting a visual pinfall on Jade if it doesn’t directly lead to that person being the first one to beat Jade.

RENEE YOUNG IS IN THE TRAINER’S ROOM WITH DR. BRITT BAKER & JAMIE HAYTER- didn’t like it
Ruby Soho showed up to check on Britt. She very clearly was about to say that she disapproved of what Toni and Saraya did, but Britt thought this was a ruse. Britt came off as cartoonishly conspiratorial.

They announced that on Rampage, Christopher Daniels will job to Rush so that Rush can have a smidgen of credibility before jobbing to Danielson on Rampage. I am baffled that Tony Khan still hasn’t figured out that when you do things the way he does them here (and with a Cage a few weeks ago, and a million other times), it doesn’t make the Danielson match feel any bigger; it just makes this match feel small. If you build Rush up beforeannouncing the match against Danielson, then not only does the Danielson match feel bigger, but this match would have felt bigger also because its purpose is not so blindingly obvious.

NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH FOR THE AEW TNT TITLE, FOR WHICH THEIR WILL BE NO REMATCHES NO MATTER WHO WINS: Darby Allin(c) vs. Samoa Joe- 8.75/10
They did crazy, scary stuff. Darby took even crazier bumps than usual. He started the match off wearing a hoodie covered in thumbtacks. Darby lost because he was an idiot and wasted several minutes cutting the canvas off the ring so he could try to hit a Coffin Drop onto Joe on the exposed wood instead of just beating on Joe doing another regular Coffin Drop (or as many more as it took) or just stabbing Joe with the knife he was using to cut the canvas off.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- eye-rolling
Wardlow makes his big return. He is about to powerbomb Joe, but Joe slips away. Wardlow makes no attempt to follow him, so I guess he doesn’t want to get his hands on Joe that badly after all.
Security comes out to try to stop Wardlow if he changes his mind, I guess, so Wardlow beats them up… and then he doesn’t go after Joe, so he looks like an asshole just beating up security guards for no reason.

There was a lot of excellent action on this show (though I’m still really annoyed that Dragon vs. Thatcher didn’t get more time), but it was brought down by the clumsiness of the booking. I’ve said it time and again in these reviews, and I will continue to say it; far too often in AEW, the characters’ actions feel like they are being dictated by the needs of the story the booker has decided to tell rather than the story being told through the characters taking actions that feel organic to their characters and to what has come before. This is frustrating not just because it’s poor storytelling, but because often these are issues that could have been fixed with twenty more minutes of thought. Throw in the little doses of repetitiveness and goofiness, and you have a product that could be so much more than what it is.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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