BRM Reviews the 1/18/2023 Dynamite (mostly excellent wrestling, TERRIBLE everythig else)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/18/2023 Dynamite (mostly excellent wrestling, TERRIBLE everythig else)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 19th, '23, 22:44

AEW ALL-ATLANTIC TITLE MATCH IN WHICH IF JAY LETHAL’S FACTION INTERFERE, SONJAY DUTT WILL BE: Orange Cassidy(c) vs. Jay Lethal- DUD!
Can Tony Khan fire Sonjay? Isn’t he Lethal’s manager, and thus an employee of Jay Lethal rather than of AEW? That’s how it worked with Wardlow and MJF, and seems to be how it works with guys like Matt Hardy and Private Party, where they have voluntary shifted ownership of their contracts to someone else (if Hardy’s contract was just a regular contract a manager signs a wrestler to, then Ethan Page should have no leverage over him because getting fired from that contract would be beneficial to Matt, because then he’d just be an AEW employee and get 100% f his winnings instead of whatever cut Page gets in the contract, right?). Or if he’s not, why should Sonjay care about getting fired if Lethal and Jarrett and Satnam can just bring back as their manager? It’s not like Sonjay ever wrestles.
Before the match started, though, Jarrett, Sonjay, and Satnam came through the crowd and- according to Excalibur- kicked fans out of their seats (he used those words) and took the seats. Whose moronic idea was this, and why was that person not fired the moment they suggested it? It makes the company look bad for just letting wrestlers kick fans out of the seats they paid their hard-earned money for, and it serves NO PURPOSE (it doesn’t show us that they’re heels because we already know that, and it doesn’t somehow let them interfere via distraction because you could have just had them stand at ringside and had OC get distracted by them).
Danhausen showed up dressed like an usher and asked to see their tickets, because apparently the security guards right next to them and the real ushers were too lazy to do their jobs. While this was happening, Lethal got distracted by Best Friends showing up in the front row, too. Do they also have tickets? If so, why did they have tickets? And if not, then why are they sitting in the crowd ad getting fans’ way instead of standing at ringside as they would be well within their rights to do… and as they actually do for most other Orange Cassidy matches(you know… the ones that don’t have spots planned that need them to be in the crowd)?
Danhausen has now jumped the guardrail… but the heels are still there, so he didn’t actually do anything about the heels stealing front-row seats from fans. Best Friends are standing behind the heels. Yes, standing. So either they are blocking the views of everyone behind them, or these were three front-row seats with no rows of seats behind them. Ah. Now they’re seated. So they were just being assholes before. And if their seats were there, why did they cut across the front row during a match to get to them instead of using the aisle the heels used?
Lethal and OC did stuff. For ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, Chuck Taylor dumped his popcorn on Sonjay’s head. Or at least that’s what the announcers told us happened. We saw him reaching over Sonjay and tilting the bucket, then the camera cut away, and then it quickly cut back to them, with the heels being angry at Chuck. IT’S 2023, AND YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED TO SMARTEN THE F*CKING PRODUCTION CREW UP? And it’s not like this is the first time this has happened in AEW, either!
This potential confrontation in the crowd drew the attention of the referee, who went to go talk to them. THEY’RE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE F*CKING BARRICADE, YOU MORON! PAY ATTENTION TO THE F*CKING MATCH YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE OFFICIATING! Wait…no… it’s worse. He didn’t go to talk to them to stop a possible fight. He went specifically to threaten Sonjay. He even pushed him, when Sonjay had done anything other than beg.
This allowed Jeff Jarrett to try to pass his guitar to Lethal. Best Friends made no effort to stop this, but luckily for OC, Danhausen did. Lethal chased him around the ring, then into it, and then into a roll-up by OC. Lethal kicked out, but then got hit with an Orange Punch for the win.
This was absolutely f*cking terrible, and the reason for it was because someone decided that we needed to have a bunch of stupid bullsh*t at ringside, which resulted in unforced error after unforced error. The randomness of the stipulation being applied at all, when usually interfering in AEW matches has no consequences whatsoever, to it specifically targeting Sonjay, to the idea that the heels kicked fans out of their seats and no one came to stop them, to Chuck Taylor’s unprovoked douchebaggery, to the referee completely abandoning his post and then blaming everything on one person in particular just to set up a comedy spot. Just let the f*cking wrestlers wrestle!

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- AND SOMEHOW IT GOT WORSE!
Best Friends came into the ring to celebrate with Orange Cassidy. Satnam Singh then got into the ring and goozled them… but Sonjay Dutt begged him not to attack them. WHY?! The match is over! Sonjay’s job is no longer in jeopardy. Now Jeff Jarrett is trying to hit OC with his guitar, but Sonjay yanks it away from him. Again: WHY?!
OC started doing his stupid kicking bullsh*t to Sonjay, so Sonjay got all fired up, but Lethal and Jarrett held him back. Again: THIS MAKES NO F*CKING SENSE!

DARBY ALLIN VS. KUSHIDA VIDEO PACKAGE- snore
It’s a random dude getting a title shot because… um… because he’s really good. Just take our word for it, okay?

TOP FLIGHT vs. YOUNG BUCKS (w/Brandon Cutler)- 7.75/10
Top Flight have apparently won six of their last eight matches. This means that they were actually winning matches in between losing to the Blackpool Combat Club on TV. Maybe talk about that during those matches instead of just talking about how Top Flight have come so close and trying to tell me that their loss was really like a win because they looked so good?
These two teams had an excellent flippy match, with Top Flight pulling off the upset win. This doesn’t feel like it undoes the damage of them losing to the Blackpool Combat Club, but it does feel like a start. But to use a win over the Bucks (especially their first win over them, which the announcers talked up as very important to Top Flight) merely to help repair damage instead as part of a big push feels like a waste. But if you were going to give Top Flight a big push, why did you have them lose twice to the Blackpool Combat Club.
I really did not like Excalibur giving the Bucks an out by saying that last week’s Ladder match surely took its toll on them. They’re at the point where they don’t need to be protected like that, and certainly not right now as a tag team when they are the AEW World Trios Champions.
Looking at the Bucks’ side of things, this immediately kills any momentum they had coming out of regaining the trios titles.


GUNN CLUB & THE ACCLAIMED SEGMENT- bad
We were told that the Acclaimed were scheduled for promo time now, but Gunn Club came out instead. They ranted like annoying, whiny cartoon characters. The Acclaimed came out, but whichever Gunn it is that does the talking demanded that the production people turn ff the music, so they did. He said that no one wants to hear a rap. Caster got the fans to cheer for the idea of him rapping, then told the production crew to put the music back on and to cut the Gunn kid’s mic. If you are willing to cut someone’s mic to stop them from interrupting something, why didn’t you cut their mics as soon as they came out during what was scheduled to be someone else’s time?
And the only reason that this is an issue is because they made a big deal out of the idea that the Gunns were stealing the Acclaimed’s time. Without that one detail, this is just a normal segment. The only thing that detail possibly does is justify the production crew shutting off Colten (or Austin’s mic) for the rap, and the only thing that doing that does for the segment is to allow for them to create a scenario where the Acclaimed humiliate Gunn Club… which we just saw them do on Rampage.
After the rap, they brawled in the ring. Billy broke it up. He tells Gunn Club to stop acting like entitled children and tells the Acclaimed to start acting like the tag team champions. He wants this issue settled, so he is going to make them all go to family therapy. The production crew started to play the Acclaimed’s music before Billy said “family therapy,” despite him setting it up with “I’ve got two words for ya.”
So yeah. Billy now cares about his kids again after gleefully humiliating them the other week, and is acting like an adult and telling everyone else to do the same… for the purpose of setting up what will undoubtedly be a juvenile comedy skit. Uch.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE- meh
Renee says that over the weekend, Jon Moxley told her that being in the ring with Adam Page makes him a better wrestler, so while he despises Page, he also cherishes him. That sounds like something Renee made up in the hopes of getting these two to stop fighting over stupid sh*t. Page responds that if Moxley has something to say to him, he should say it to his face. I have no interest in hearing Page and Moxley talk at each other anymore.
What could possibly come out of this segment? Either they’ll get angry at each other again, in case they’ll keep fighting and keep talking at each other more, or else they’ll wind up forming some sort of tag team, which is weird when you consider that Moxley has about five other best friends and/or stablemates he could be tagging with.
Page continued to say that is going to go “have some tough conversations” and “mend some fences that have needed mending for a long time.” I assume this is the Bucks and Kenny, but I really don’t care. Maybe I would if Kenny and the Bucks were definitively babyfaces, but they’re not.
Then the interviewed ended… but this one time, they didn’t cut away, even though they do every other time, so we could hear Page start to asks Renee to tell someone something, but then change his mind halfway through. Any time your segment relies on a contrivance like this, you have failed as a storyteller.

RICKY STARKS vs. JAKE HAGER (w/2.0)- 5.75/10
Chris Jericho joined the commentary team for this match. This big grudge match starts off with… comedy about Hager’s f*cking hat. Most of the rest of the match happened during a commercial. 2.0 set up a table at ringside that they teased Hager putting Starks through. Starks won after botched interference. Sammy Guevara and Daniel Garcia ran down the ramp to attack him, but he escaped through the crowd.
Stark’s new friend Action Andretti was nowhere to be found when 2.0 tried to interfere. In fact, I don’t even think the announcers mentioned his name.

ADAM COLE VIDEO PACKAGE- good

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO, SAMMY GUEVARA, & DANIEL GARCIA- meh
Jericho cut a promo on Ricky Starks and vowed that Starks’ would not beat the JAS again. To ensure this, he will team with Sammy Guevara to face Ricky Starks & Action Andretti on Dynamite. Garcia said he wanted to team with Jericho instead. Sammy Guevara said he was proud of Garcia for advocating for himself, and said that if Garcia beat Andretti in their match already scheduled for Rampage, then Garcia could have his spot in the tag match. And because we must have comedy in everything, Guevara presented Garcia with a new pair of leather wrestling tights. Guevara then proceeded to hug Garcia, who did not appreciate it.
Was Sammy being a little annoying? Yes. But that doesn’t do anything to get me invested in a Garciaface turn if Garcia himself doesn’t come off as likable, and he doesn’t.

BRYAN DANIELSON vs. BANDIDO- 8.75/10
This was tremendous, but if the outcome never feeling in doubt hurt it.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Snore
MJF showed up on the screen to cut a promo. He warned Dragon that he was going to start getting meaner.

“BABYFACE” WOMEN VIDEO PACKAGE/BACKSTAGE CONVERSATION- Saraya was (rightly) upset with Hikaru Shida for throwing the Kendo stick into the middle of the ring last week. Toni Storm, apparently being a naïve moron blames herself for not getting to the weapon quick enough and says that Shida “would never” try to screw them over.
Then she turned to Saraya and said “the problems is these AEW home-grown girls. They just been in this bubble. They haven’t done anything else. They don’t know what we know.” She sounded like a snob and came off terribly, like Saraya did when she first came in.
After that… I don’t know what happened, because SlingTV kept f*cking up and inserting a commercial into the show.

RENEE PAQUETTE’S INTERVIEW WITH PRINCE NANA & BRIAN CAGE IS INTERRUPTED BY MJF- bad
Cage is wrestling Bryan Danielson next week. Another expendable wrestler who no one cares about or thinks Danielson has a chance in hell of losing to.
MJF offered Cage money to injure Danielson. In fact, he told him that he didn't care if he beat Dragon; he just cared that Cage injured him. Wouldn't Cage beating Danielson mean Danielson won’t get the title shot? And isn’t that what MJF wants?
He also slapped Cage for no real reason. Cage grabbed MJF by the throat and choked him, but Nana told him to do what MJF says and take the money. I’m fine with MJF paying Cage off to injure Dragon, but the rest of this was stupid. It was overdramatic crap designed to let MJF act like a B-movie villain, saying that money is the best motivator.

WILLOW NIGHTENGALE vs. TONI STORM (w/Saraya)- 4/10
Toni wrestled like the heel in this match, choking Willow and being disrespectful for no reason. Tony Khan has decided to start telling a story where she is disrespectful to the “homegrown” AEW wrestlers, and so she starts being disrespectful to them, with absolutely storyline impetus for this change. Just like Sammy Guevara’s and Daniel Garcia’s animosity, or Fenix’s reluctance to using a hammer to win matches and then changing his mind about it, or Chris Jericho’s sudden hatred of all things Ring of Honor, or a million other things that have gone in this company.
Shida came down to ringside with a Kendo stick. Saraya hopped up onto the apron to distract Willow, allowing Toni to roll her up and pin her via illegal leverage from pulling her tights.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Saraya and Toni then assaulted Willow for no reason. You might has well have had Excalibur using his “I’m having a shocking revelation!” voice to yell “TONY KHAN MUST HAVE BOOKED THESE TWO TO TURN HEEL!”
Shida stood there and watched. Ruby Soho came out to make the save, and the two heels away from the one babyface.

ETHAN PAGE VS. JUNGLE BOY VIDEO PACKAGE- good
It was only Stokely Hathaway and Ethan Page who got to talk.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS KONOSUKE TAKESHITA- fine
He respects Bryan Danielson so much that he has decided to watch Danielson’s back. Also, he said MJF was an asshole.

AEW TNT TITLE MATCH: Darby Allin(c) (w/Sting) vs. KUSHIDA (w/Kevin Knight & the DKC)- 8.25/10
KUSHIDA did his best to absolutely ruin Darby’s arm, but Darby managed to steal a win with the Last Supper. KUSHIDA’s move-set made him probably the best person to do a Darby Allin vs. Submission guy match. This really delivered.



There was some awesome wrestling on this week’s show, but the storyline stuff was meh at best… and very little of it was good enough to even approach meh. It almost feltlike they were going out of there way to create problems this week.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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