BRM Reviews the 8/31/2022 Dynamite (WATCH THIS SHOW NOW!)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 8/31/2022 Dynamite (WATCH THIS SHOW NOW!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 2nd, '22, 01:38

Hey, guy with the “just enjoy wrestling” sign! How about “DEMAND QUALITY?”

JON MOXLEY PROMO- mostly great
He got a fifty-fifty reaction. He proceeded to antagonize Punk’s fans. And me, too. Punk clearly injured himself. It’s not even like Moxley put on an ankle lock and injured Punk’s foot. Punk injured the foot kicking Moxley in the head. Taking a shot at Punk’s stamina in that situation and calling him a coward is the sort of thing a heel would do.
Yes, you could say that Moxley was trolling Punk the way Punk did to him a few weeks ago, but it’s important to remember that Moxley was the asshole first, responding to Punk saving him from a beating by flipping Puk off and shouldering him on his way out of the ring.
Moxley says that he’ll defend the title against anyone at any time, and says that he has an open contract for All Out, because at this point the Rankings are just Tony Khan being a dick to whichever poor schmuck has to waste time putting them on the website and in the graphics every week by wasting their time.
Moxley suggests that someone from New Japan might answer it and asks Rocky Romero if he has anyone left for him. Can we please try to keep some semblance of kayfabe and pretend that Sugabayashi is making the decisions?
The rest of what he said was great, but it would have been a lot better if he hadn’t come off like such a dick, and if he wasn’t in a stable where they keep talking about how it’s okay to bite and poke people in the eyes and so forth. If he’s supposed to be a heel, then have him be a heel; if he’s supposed to be a babyface, then have him be a babyface. It’s not that hard.
Moxley threw the open contract onto the canvass, then posed and left. It’d be really funny if a fan or one of the security guards ran into the ring, grabbed it, and signed it. Maybe that would teach Tony Khan not to use these stupid open contracts.
Holy crap, I was just kidding! Here comes some random dude from backstage to get the contract!
Wait… that’s Ace Steel! That’s tremendous! I guess Tony Khan has been rewatching that ROH video library he bought in February and he just watched Caged Collision. And you thought it was bad when Adam Pearce randomly booked him on ROH PPVs in Chicago even though he hadn’t been anything close to a regular with ROH in years. He’s not even an active wrestler now!

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO- good
Jericho cut a decent promo to build up to his match against Bryan Danielson at All Out. Daniel Garcia then showed up and apologized to Jericho for his actions last week and pledged his loyalty to Jericho. He stroked Jericho’s ego in a way designed to try to get Jericho to wrestle Danielson cleanly. Jericho said he would do so at the PPV, but was happy to cheat tonight. This sets up for Jericho cheating to beat Dragon at the PPV, but in the process, losing the war for Garcia’s soul.

BRYAN DANIELSON vs. JAKE HAGER- 7.25/10
Apparently having Jericho cut a promo a few minutes ago wasn’t enough. He has to be on commentary, too. And Regal was on commentary as well.
This match was great, but it felt like the clipped version of a really awesome match, which just makes me focus on what it could have been rather than what it was.
Dragon won cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- very bad
2.0 ran out to attack Danielson. Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler YUTA made the save. Sammy Guevara did not come out to join in the attack because then there would have been three JAS members and only two BCC members. If only the BCC had another member. Perhaps one who loves fighting so much that he said he would be willing to fight anyone at any time. Maybe you could have even had this theoretical additional member say that earlier on in this show. Oh well. Too bad there is no one like that in the BCC.
Claudio and YUTA brawled off with 2.0, at which point Jericho left the commentary booth and grabbed a chair. He was going to hit Dragon with the chair, but Daniel Garcia came out and stopped him, because he respects Bryan Danielson so much that he doesn’t want to see him get hit with a chair… but apparently he was fine watching Dragon get jumped from behind by two dudes. Things like this make me wonder what kind of weird-ass morals Tony Khan has that allow him to not see this as a logical hole in his story.
Anyway, this distracted Jericho so that Dragon could lay him out with the Busaiku Knee… so the babyface got the heat on the heel right before the PPV.

THE WINGMEN HAVE PICKET SIGNS AND ARE IN THE RING COMPLAINING THAT THEY’RE NOT BOOKED. THEY ARE INTERRUPTED BY W. MORRISSEY- What the hell? F*cking remote must have fallen between the couch cushions, and when I shifted my weight, it accidentally switched the channel to TNA.
Yeah. If I was making an intentionally ridiculous joke about Tony Khan wasting time on a go-home show to book something to book something that has nothing to do with the PPV, I don’t think I could have come up with this.
The announcers wondered what he was doing in AEW. Banging the interviewer chick, I assume. The announcers noted that the last time we saw him, he was a “hired gun,” but didn’t mention who had hired him.
He beat up the Wingmen, including no-selling a chop from J.D. Drake. Did I miss a news story where J.D. Drake pooped in Tony Khan’s cornflakes or said something rude about his mother? How is he not the guy in Morrissey’s spot?
Morrissey tried to suck up to me by doing chokeslams, and accepting Stokely Hathaway’s offer to be his manager, but it’s not going to work. Stokely Hathaway came out to try to recruit him. J.R. referred to Morrissey as a “kid.” He’s thirty-six.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS STOKELY HATHAWAY- Hilarious… but it wasn’t supposed to be.
Tony Schiavone, the dumbest human on Earth, asked Stokely “what are all these cards about that you’ve been handing out to all these wrestlers?” I was really hoping Stokely would just kick him in the nuts and walk off, but I had to settle for Stokely telling him it was none of his business, then grabbing him by the lapels and repeating it when Tony kept asking. Good. Leave the idiot in the dark about the most obvious thing ever, thus making him feel bad about his idiocy. I’ll give fifty-thousand BRM-Land Fun-Bucks to anyone who attends All Out dressed as Sting and carries a big sign reading “Hey, Tony. It’s me; your friend Sting. Come over here, and I will explain to you what Stokely’s cards are about.”
How many Nigerian Prince scams do you think Tony Schiavone has fallen for in his lifetime? It has got to be at least six.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS WILL OSPREAY- meh
It’s nice to see that Marvez finally escaped from Kenny Omega’s dungeon. And here comes Don Callis, interrupting the interview, presumably to drag Marvez back to said dungeon.
Callis actually wanted to talk to Will Ospreay. He sucked up to him.

TONI STORM & HIKARU SHIDA vs. BRITT BAKER & JAMIE HAYTER (w/Rebel)- 6/10
Fun. Shida got the win here. She was the one who needed it the most. She has some other belt, now, so that’s yet another championship in AEW.

KIP SABIAN VS. PAC PACKAGE- whatever
Sabian starts off by claiming to be a “stickler for the details.” Wow. Me, too. So I guess you won’t mind if I hold you to that, right?
This didn’t explain why they are feuding. Pac thinks Sabian wants a shot at his title, but Sabian had been stalking Pac for months before that. So, of course, at the PPV, Kip Sabian is getting a title shot, despite 1) not having won a match in AEW in almost a year and a half 2) only having won a grand total of THREE singles matches in AEW PERIOD, of which 3) the most recent of them was so long ago that it was soon after the beginning of the COVID pandemic in North America.

MIRO, STING, & DARBY ALLIN PROMO- great
They’re going to team up against the House of Black. The only thing I didn’t like about this was the blocking. Much like when Julia Hart showed up in Miro’s promo a while ago, it made the whole thing feel overly artsy, in a way that I don’t think works with Miro’s intensity, even if Darby and Sting were able to match that intensity.

CM PUNK SEGMENT- UNFORGETTABLE!
I got a kick out of him deflecting the Colt Cabana chants by insulting a fan in the crowd. The old tricks always work.
Punk cut a great babyface promo about feeling bad for letting the fans down and wondering if he could still go at the required level. He was interrupted by presumptive #1 contender to the AEW World Heavyweight Title, Ace Steel. Ace told Punk that this wasn’t what they had talked about Punk coming out here to say.
Then Ace did something wonderful. He explained who he was to the crowd, just in case there was someone there who either didn’t know him or didn’t remember what an indy wrestler they probably haven’t seen in a decade looked like. Please take notes, Tony Khan.
Ace cut a TREMENDOUS promo to inspire Punk, the only downside of which is that he accidentally dropped an F-bomb, which the network surely won’t be too happy with, especially since they have reportedly been asking AEW to tone the profanity down. But holy sh*t was this a great f*cking promo. This was up there with Ricky Starks promo from other the week as a Promo of the Year Candidate.
I didn’t think anything in pro wrestling in 2022 could possibly surprise me more than Vince McMahon stepping down, but Ace Steel cutting a Promo of the Year Candidate was definitely more surprising. Punk went on to cut an excellent promo of his own about his own toughness and that of his home city. He declared that “THIS IS CHICAGO, WHERE THE WEAK ARE KILLED AND EATEN!” Ah. So that’s why they never found Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
I’ve got to give it to you, Tony Khan: This feels like it was worth throwing away that first meeting with a three-minute match.

J.R.’S SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW WITH JUNGLE BOY AND CHRISTIAN CAGE- okay
There was a strict no physicality rule. This didn’t work for me because Jungle Boy’s claims to have felt this special relationship with Christian (the word “love” was used, and the implication was that Christian had become a replacement father figure) never came across at any point while Christian was managing Jurassic Express. Jungle Boy’s last line that at the PPV Christian would be have to “fight Jack Perry” was great, though.

FTR & WARDLOW vs. SILAS YOUNG & TWO JOBBERS- squash
Sonjay Dutt was shown watching backstage. Someone needs to tell Wardlow to stop doing the foot-on-the-chest pin. It’s so heelish.

JON MOXLEY PROMO- great
Props to Excalibur’s commentary for making this feel a little more spontaneous.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S INTERVIEW WITH THE DARK ORDER IS INTERRUPTED BY ANDRADE- snore
10 is injured. It was just 10 and Evil Uno here. We couldn’t even have the other two guys in the trio here for this big announcement. Said announcement was Evil Uno saying he would be taking 10’s place. Are they even allowed to do that?
Andrade showed up and tried to buy them off. Uno rejected the money, so Andrade took 10’s crutch and beat Uno with it while Jose held the with just one crutch at bay by threatening him with a taser.

WHEELER YUTA vs. DANTE MARTIN vs. REY FENIX (w/Alex Abrahantes) vs. RUSH (w/Jose the Assistant)- 7/10
Rush’s music is awesome. It’s just drums and someone saying “RUUUUSH!” over and over again.
They did lots of flips until YUTA rolled Dante up for the win.

On Dark, Julia Hart beat someone by the tremendous name of Vicky Dreamboat.


TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS THE BEAVER BOYS- fine
They’re resigned to the fact that they’ll have to continue on in the tournament alone. Why? If you can substitute in new members, why not just turn to Colt Cabana or Alan Angels of Stu Grayson?
Adam Page showed up and offered to be their partner. That’s pretty ballsy of him after not even being in their corner last week when he had promised to.

Among other things on Rampage, Daniel Garcia is getting another shot at the ROH Pure Title despite losing cleanly to YUTA six weeks ago at the ROH PPV and not having won cleanly since.

Because there isn’t enough stuff on the PPV, Eddie Kingston vs. Tomohiro Ishii is happening. There is a 90%chance I will hate that match, and10% chance I will love it, and very little in between. I can easily see them deciding to have one of those stupid Ishii matches where they just don’t sell.
Also on the PPV will be Hook defending the FTW Title against Angelo Parker. Is there some sporting event Tony is trying to go longer than this time as well?

AEW TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: United Empire (Will Opsreay & Aussie Open) vs. the Elite (w/Michael Nakazawa & Brandon Cutler)- 8/10
All of Omega’s entrance facts were brags about how he is superior to Will Ospreay.
Don Callis was on commentary for this match.
Hey, guy with the “just enjoy wrestling” sign: how about not holding your sign up in the air so that people sitting behind you can see the ring and enjoy the wrestling.
There was a bit of story with Omega and Ospreay, but mostly this was spots. Matt Jackson kicked out of something that should have been a death move, but didn’t even feel like a potential finish because we all knew that Kenny and the Bucks were going to the finals.



This was a great episode of Dynamite, showcasing some great wrestling and one absolutely unforgettable promo. Yes, there was some bad stuff here, too, but the good way outweighed it.

Do the people at TNT really think that they are endearing themselves to AEW fans (who they clearly want to stick around, because Battle Bots started by having the announcer say “AEW fans: don’t go anywhere!”) by having the beginning of their commercial be an announcer in a high-pitched voice saying “suplex” and “from the top rope!” when neither of those things are happening?
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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