BRM Reviews the 5/20/2022 Rampage

[Big Red Machine]

HOUSE OF BLACK vs. THE DARK ORDER (Evil Uno & Ten) & SERPENTICO- 6/10
I popped huge for Jericho explaining to Taz that he was using the term “sacrificial lamb” wrong.
The action was good, but it should not take the House of Black this long to beat these geeks.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Death Triangle came out onto the stage, where there was some sort of thing on a podium, covered with a towel. Taz knew it was a tombstone, but apparently wasn’t supposed to say that yet. The non-Penta members of the group headed to the back, which makes you wonder why they came out in the first place.
Penta lifted up the towel to reveal that it was a tombstone that said “House of Black” and had the Double or Nothing logo on it… and having that brightly-colored poker chip logo on it made it impossible to take this seriously. Putting that logo there was a full-on WWE move.
Excalibur said that these two groups will meet at Double or Nothing. Doesn’t Tony Khan have to make it official, first? Or, if it’s already official, what was the point of this “dramatic” reveal here?

LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS MAX CASTER & GUNN CLUB- horrible
Apparently Anthony Bowens was injured backstage at Dark: Elevation. He appeared to be in horrible pai, that seems preferable to how painful watching this crap was.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS FTR- decent
Despite having done nothing to earn a shot, they’re going to give Roppongi Vice a shot at the ROH World Tag Team Titles. Cash framed it as an opportunity for them to pick up a win and move themselves into contention for the AEW and IWGP Heavyweight tag titles, but whether or not they put their titles on the line shouldn’t affect how much the win counts for them.
Dax then cut a promo on Roppongi Vice, burying them for making a joke out of the wrestling business.

SHAWN SPEARS vs. BIG DAMO- 4/10
Spears won a short match, but it was also very even.

SHAWN SPEARS PROMO- whatever
He tries really hard with this, and I can buy that the character believes his own bullsh*t, but he’s got no credibility and we all know it, so to me as a viewer, it just feels like a waste of time.

UNDISPUTED ELITE PROMO- meh
Cole and Kyle were decent, the Bucks were clowns… and does anyone really want to see Bucks vs. Hardys again? Excalibur pushed it as a “dream match,” as if we haven’t seen it five times already.

OWEN HART FOUNDATION WOMEN’S TOURNAMENNT QUARTERFINAL MATCH: Kris Statlander vs. Red Velvet (w/the Baddies & Mark Sterling)- 4.5/10
Ruby Soho was on commentary for this match because she’ll face the opponent.
It should never happen that a commentator should say “I’m not sure the last time I saw anyone kick out of MOVE X” and my response should be “I’m not sure I’ve even heard of that move before.”
Statlander won with a roll-up but got jumped by the other heels. Ruby Soho ran in to make the save but got laid out by Jade Cargill. Anna Jay came out and grabbed Mark Sterling’s crutch and used it to make the save.

HOOK-HAUSEN VS. MARK STERLING & TONY NESE VIDEO PACKAGE- bad
This was a lot of stupid comedy.

DAN LAMBERT & MEN OF THE YEAR PROMO-
Ethan Page cut a promo on people. Scorpio Sky demanded that Sammy Guevara come out and return his stolen title belt. Shouldn’t AEW management have taken it upon themselves to do that?
At that moment, Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti just happened to have a cameraperson with them, and someone backstage new to cut to them. They threatened to destroy the title belt if Scorpio Sky didn’t give Sammy a title shot. He didn’t, so they destroyed the belt. Oh no. What a loss. It’s not like Dan Lambert and Scorpio Sky have another one lying around somewhere. Oh, wait…
Frankie Kazarian also showed up to smash the belt. He’s got a vendetta against Scorpio Sky now. Remember when he swore a vendetta against The Elite and then gave up after a few months?
The announcers told us that the belt was worth “tens of thousands of dollars,” “but now it’s worthless.” I’m calling bullsh*t on that. The belt isn’t valuable as a work of art. It’s valuable because of the shiny metals and diamonds in it. Maybe the diamonds are a little smashed up, but the metal can be hammered back into shape or melted down to make something else. It hasn’t lost that much value.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS TONI STORM & BRITT BAKER- meh
They said mean things to each other. Toni asks Britt how she will fare without her friends to interfere for her. How, exactly, is Toni planning on stopping that interference?

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- BCC good, stupid hippies bad
Based on this promo, it seems like we’re supposed to think that the BCC are abusing Wheeler YUTA, but I haven’t gotten that sense at all. Danielson points out that whatever they’re doing with YUTA is working because he is the ROH Pure Champion.

During Excalibur’s run-down, the graphic said that MJF vs. Wardlow at the PPV would only happy they meet the “stipulated sanctions.” That’s not what the “sanctions” means.

JADE CARGILL TELLS TONY SCHIAVONE TO F*CK OFF AND CUTS A PROMO ON ANNA JAY- She wants a match with Anna Jay at the PPV… and within four seconds, Tony Khan had approved the match, put Jade’s title on the line in it, and got his graphics team to whip up a graphic.

MATT SYDAL & DANTE MARTIN vs. BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB (Bryan Danielson & Jon Moxley)- 7.25/10
William Regal was on commentary for this match. The BCC jumped the bell on Martin & Sydal. Are they babyfaces or not?
BBC won a great match cleanly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
The Jericho Appreciation Society jumped the BCC. Kingston and LAX came out to make the save. This felt very forced.


We went off the air on Wednesday with a big angle of “The Icon” Sting getting Pillmanizered. There was ZERO follow-up to that here.

A meh episode of Rampage.