BRM Reviews the 4/27/2022 Dynamite

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/27/2022 Dynamite

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 28th, '22, 23:41

OWEN HART FOUNDATION MEN’S TOURNAMENT QUALIFIER: Dax Harwood vs. Cash Wheeler- 7.5/10
CM Punk was on commentary just for this match, for no real reason. Obviously the reason they did that Punk vs. Dax match a few weeks ago was to start a story that this is now continuing, but the reason I know that is because Punk being on commentary for this match is so random. I should figure out that there is a story being told when Punk says something on commentary and I say “oh, I guess Dax earned Punk’s respect back in that other match, and that was the start of a story and not just a random win for Punk.” What AEW has done here by having Punk randomly on commentary for this match (and even more so by promoting that fact in advance) is essentially have Tony Khan get a megaphone and shout “HEY, EVERYONE! THAT MATCH WITH PUNK AND DAX WAS CHAPTER ONE IN A STORY, AND CHAPTER TWO IS GOING TO BE THIS MATCH HERE ON DYNAMITE!” You need to find some other reason for Punk to be on commentary, or else the whole thing feels orchestrated and inorganic.
Punk says that “everyone wants” to be in this tournament” and that he wanted to be in it, but couldn’t. So the guy Punk beats and his tag team partner can both get into this singles tournament but CM Punk, who has lost ONE match in AEW can’t?
Excalibur once again called this a “high stakes” match. Until you actually tell us what is at stake in this tournament, I’m calling bullsh*t. And before you say “oh, come on! They wouldn’t of a tournament in which the winner gets nothing,” remember the Deadly Draw? Tony Schiavone described the match as “historic.” I was shocked he managed to restrain himself from just blurting out tha tit was “THEBIGGEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF MONDAY NITRO!”
Something else that doesn’t make sense is the whole “FTR asked to fight each other” thing. Why would they do that? If they want to “honor Owen Hart’s legacy” by winning the tournament and they think they’re so good, wouldn’t they want to increase the chances of one of them winning by not ensuring that one of them doesn’t even make it in?
I’m also getting sick of the announcers telling me how much FTR “looked up to Owen Hart,” when they have mentioned him ONCE (just last week) in eight or nine years they have been wrestling on national TV. I’ve heard them mention the Graham Brothers more times. It’s just like the “we’re family men” thing. I don’t care if it’s the shoot truth. It hasn’t been established in any way on TV, and thus it feels like ploy invented in order to propel their babyface turn.
The thumb to the eye felt completely accidental, but the announcers were talking about it as if it was on purpose. The only who wasn’t was Punk, and Tony Schiavone just ignored Punk and started talking to J.R. about it as if it was on purpose. Then, right after that, there was a knee to the stomach that looked just fine, and Punk was wondering if it was low or not. I don’t if FTR are screwing up or Punk or the other announcers or both, but it’s a TERRIBLE look for AEW.
Dax won clean with a roll-up. This was a great match… but I found it very hard to care about the outcome because 1) nothing tangible is on the line, and 2) I had no reason to root for one guy over the other.

CM PUNK PROMO- GREAT!
Punk got up from commentary, grabbed a mic, and cut a promo putting over AEW and the fans, and vowing to give it his all against Adam Page for the world title. I was shocked that the guy with the bag over his head didn’t attack Punk.

DAN LAMBERT & SCORPIO SKY PROMO- good

THE BLACKPOOL COMBAT CLUB vs. THE FACTORY (w/Anthony Ogogo)- 6.75/10
William Regal was on commentary for this match. The BCC jumped the belt on the Factory for no real reason.
Anthony Ogogo is randomly back on TV with no comment on the fact that he disappeared for eleven months.
This was a great match with the crowd being very hot for the hometown hero Wheeler YUTA, but there was no reason it should have taken the BCC this long to beat the Factory.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS BRITT BAKER, JAMIE HAYTER, & TONI STORM- bad
No, there is no typo here, and this wasn’t a recap from Rampage, either. After having Tony Schiavone interview these same three women last week and nothing much having been said, AEW decided to book them in a joint interview yet again. In fact, this is Toni Storm’s fifth appearance on AEW television. In her first she qualified for the Owen Hart Foundation tournament, and since then ALL SHE HAS BEEN BOOKED TO DO IS APPEAR IN IN JOINT INTERVIEWS WITH JAMIE HAYTER, CONDUCTED BY TONY SCHIAVONE!
This time Toni brought a friend, Ruby Riott, who wanted to start a fight for no real reason. She said she didn’t like how the heels gang up on people two-on-one. Okay… so where were you when this was happening to Thunder Rosa?
Jamie wanted to fight, but Britt said no. She called Toni Storm fat, then she and Jamie left. So, again, nothing really happened.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS JURASSIC EXPRESS & CHRISTIAN CAGE- bad
Jungle Boy was sad about losing last week. Christian teased that he was being mean to him, but instead refocused him on defending the tag titles. He put out a challenge to any team in the top five… and wouldn’t you know it, one of those five teams just happened to be walking by as Christian said this. Said team was Ricky Starks and Will Hobbs. Ricky Starks talked some trash, then they left. Luchasaurus responded to this by roaring, because he’s a dinosaur and not a person. That was dumb.

WARDLOW vs. LANCE ARCHER (w/Jake “The Snake” Roberts)- 6/10
MJF and Shawn Spears were in a box. MJF was mean to the fans and Wardlow.
They did some big-man stuff. Wardlow kicked out of stuff, hit some powerbombs, and won. Archer appeared to land right on Wardlow’s head when he did that dumb rope-walk moonsault, so hopefully Wardlow is okay.

EDDIE KINGSTON, LAX, AND THE JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY HAVE A TALKING SEGMENT IN THE RING- TERRIBLE!
Everyone had been warned that any physicality here would result in fines and suspensions. Why is this segment treated differently than anything else?
The fans are all stiff singing Judas even though Jericho’s a heel. If he doesn’t want to dump the music then that’s fine, but how about we don’t emphasize the fact that fans are singing the heel’s song by getting close-ups of the fans singing it.
The heels talk. They say things like “best for business” and “AEW Galaxy.” It’s the same joke all over again, and when you’re at the point where you are directly parodying WWE phrases, the gimmick ceases to be effective because it’s clearly a parody and thus feels completely inauthentic. I don’t for one moment believe that anyone in that group thinks that calling the fans the “AEW Galaxy” is going to have any potential benefit over calling them “fans.” We hate it when WWE does it because they’re crazy enough that at least Vince (and probably Kevin Dunn) actually does think there is a benefit to it.
Jericho and 2.0 were clowns. Santana claimed that he and Ortiz are the two people who know Jericho best. I’m calling total bullsh*t on that. That does not feel true in any way. In AEW alone, I’d bet that Hager, Christian, and Big Show all know him better than LAX. Maybe even Sammy, too.
Eventually Kingston starts tossing the furniture away and says he hates all of this “sports entertainment crap” like the tables and chairs in the ring. He just wants to fight. Okay… so fight. Nope. Apparently Kingston is too scared of getting fined or suspended or fired. This was just a lot of pointless yelling.

STREET FIGHT: Hikaru Shida vs. Serena Deeb- 8/10
Lots of good weapon shots and work on Deeb’s knee, including the Kendo Stick that has been so important to the feud. Deeb got the Serenity Lock on… and babyface Shida tapped out. And I’m more than okay with that. Babyfaces can tap out, and here we used the established star to put over the lesser-made star in her first feud. Good.
After the match, we were shown Thunder Rosa watching backstage.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS MJF- meh
I was hoping we were going to get Nick Gage again, but then MJF said it was going to be someone taller than Wardlow. Who we’re getting is Big Cass/Colin Cassidy/W. Morrissey. That doesn’t sound very interesting. And really… if I wanted to take someone out, Nick Gage would be one of the first people I would call. I don’t think Morrissey would even enter my mind.

HOUSE OF BLACK VS. DEATH TRIANGLE CRAP- dumb
The lights go off and a spotlight comes on, and Fuego del Sol is laid out on the ramp, with the House of Black surrounding him. But then different lights go on, and Alex Abrahantes is in the ring, but not standing upright. He tells them they shouldn’t have kept messing with Fuego. Then HE OUTRIGHT TELLS THEM THAT HE ISN’T REALLY ALEX ABRAHANTES AND THAT THIS IS A TRAP, AND THEY IGNORE IT AND TURN THEIR BACKS TO HIM. Penta comes out, then Pac, and then Abrahantes comes out from the back because it’s really Rey Fenix in the ring… and the House of Black just keep staring at Abrahantes, totally forgetting about the guy standing behind them.
Even thought it was made horrendously obvious to them what was about to happen and Fenix was the only logical person it could be, the fans still chanted “HOLY SH*T!” at this.
Fighting happened. The babyfaces won.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS DARBY ALLIN AND SHANE STRICKLAND- great
Both guys cut great promos. They’ll face off on Friday in an Owen Hart Foundation Tournament qualifier.

UNDISPUTED ELITE (w/Brandon Cutler) vs. the Varsity Blonds, Dante Martin, Lee Johnson, & Brock Anderson (w/Arn Anderson)- 4.25/10
Cole, Fish, and O’Reilly came out together. The Bucks came out on their own (with Cutler).
Julia Hart was not at ringside with the Varsity Blonds, with no explanation. Remember when she turned heel on Shida three weeks ago? There has been no follow-up to that whatsoever.
Spots happened. The heels won, then all put the same shirt on because they are now united.

BACKSTAGE, THE JAS HAVE TAKEN OUT LAX, AND THROW A FIREBALL INTO EDDIE KINGSTON’S FACE- So I guess Jericho and his crew are getting fired now. Either that, or Tony Khan only forbid them from fighting during their designated in-ring talking segment… but if that’s the case then 1) that’s stupid, and 2) if Kingston wanted to fight so badly before, why didn’t he just wait for them backstage after the other segment?

For Rampage, they are advertising a “face-to-face confrontation” between Hook and Danhausen. Haven’t we seen that every week for the past month or so, and all that has happened is that one guy has walked away?

SAMOA JOE VS. TRENT BERETTA VIDEO PACKAGE- meh
Joe was good, Trent was meh. Trent is getting an ROH TV Title shot because… um…

They advertised Wardlow vs. MJF’s “mystery opponent,” even though MJF pretty much outright told us who it would be. And it’s not like they can pretend they don’t know who it is, because he works in Impact, and in this same plug they also announced Mercedes Martinez challenging for the ROH Women’s Title against Deonna Purrazzo, who also works for Impact.

LADDER MATCH FOR THE AEW TNT TITLE: Sammy Guevara(c) (w/Tay Conti) vs. Scorpio Sky (w/Dan Lambert)- 7.75/10
Sammy almost killed himself missing a flip off of a ladder (and Sky didn’t catch him). They used a ladder covered in barbed wire to take bumps into, because I guess a regular ladder wasn’t enough. Sammy went after Lambert, setting up Conti kicking Lambert in the nuts. This set up Paige VanZant coming out to brawl with Conti.
Ladder matches without a real story don’t do much for me any more because of overexposure, but the last two minutes of this were quite exciting. Sky won the belt back. Ethan Page came out to celebrate with him, as did Kazarian, who we were reminded he promised a title shot to.


This was, at this point, a typical Dynamite. The action was great, there were some great promos and some not-so-great ones (and some downright bad ones, mostly because they were too goofy), but the major problem with the show is that the stories just plain suck. The continuity is bad, the logic is horrible, and the characters and most of their actions are painfully inorganic.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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