BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 26th, '21, 11:05

CM PUNK vs. WILL HOBBS (w/Hook)- 7/10
This built very well. Punk won clean. Hook got bumped off the apron at the finish… exactly like Arn Anderson in the Cody vs. Malakai Black match on Wednesday, so maybe don’t do that here, too, especially when it serves no purpose.

CHRISTIAN CAGE, LUCHASAURUS, & JUNGLE BOY (w/Marko Stunt) vs. SUPERKLIQ (w/Adam Cole & the Young Bucks) (w/Brandon Cutler & Doc Gallows)- 7.25/10
Okay… that spot was awesome. The sequence where Jungle Boy finally got the hot tag was also great. You’ll know the one I mean. The heels won with some cheating in a great, athletic match.

INNER CIRCLE (Chris Jericho & Jake Hager) vs. MEN OF THE YEAR (w/Dan Lambert)- 6/10
How are guys with records as good as Sky and Page not ranked?
The heels won a short match via interference from Lambert. The babyfaces attacked them after the match and went after Lambert but American Top Team came out from… well… everywhere to surround them. If only Jericho and Hager were part of some sort of faction where they would have allies who could come out and help them. Oh well.
Paige VanZant and Jorge Masvidal were the highlights here, with their utterly ridiculous outfits (Masvidal with his horribly garish jacket, and PVZ with her pink short-shorts and matching pink blazer, with just a bra underneath). American Top Team came in and beat Jericho and Hager up, finishing it off with others holding Jericho up so that PVZ could rapid-fire some punches to the stomach and then Masvidal could hit a running leaping knee strike. I’m entertained by Lambert, but I just don’t care about his feud. I don’t want to see these MMA-fighters do pro wrestling. Spend your time Will Hobbs, Private Party, Leyla Hirsch, Jungle Boy, etc. Time is already going to be at a premium now that you’ve got Punk, Cole, Black, Andrade, and Danielson in. Don’t waste it on bullsh*t like this (or, quite frankly, spending too much time on New Japan).

HARDY FAMILY OFFICE (Private Party & The Butcher & The Blade) (w/Matt Hardy & Jack Evans) vs. LAX & LUCHA BROS. (w/Alex Abrahantes)- 4.5/10
LAX came out for this match with a baseball bat and beer bottles, and they were all happy and excited. Where were these assholes five minutes ago when their friends were getting assaulted nine on two?
Abrahantes needs to stop coming out with Lucha Bros. He’s such a dork that he damages their cool factor. And looking like Phil Dunphy doesn’t help.
Bryce Remsburg called for the opening bell even though all eight wrestlers were still in the ring. Can you imagine if a referee dropping the puck before the players are lined up in their mandated positions? Because that’s what this was. It’s supposed to be a sport, with rules and everything.
All four heels were quickly sent to the outside… and just stood there for a while so that the babyfaces could take their time setting four simultaneous dives. It’s not good if it looks like the opponent is standing there waiting for you to hit them with your dive.
The heels took over, at which point Matt Hardy pulled scissors out and grabbed Ortiz’s ponytail and was about to cut it off, when Orange Cassidy started to casually stroll down to the ring, giving Matt plenty of time to do the deed if he wanted. Matt even ordered Jack Evans to go stop OC. OC gave Jack an Orange Punch as he cam down the ramp… and then just left. Matt could have easily just grabbed the dude and cut his hair again. We went to a commercial soon after, and came back so that we could see more flips and superkicks. The babyfaces won.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS MATT HARDY- meh
Matt left ringside during the match to “demand” this interview time. When Excalibur pitched to this, he told us that Matt was “apoplectic.” When Matt cut his promo, he was nowhere close to that. He seemed annoyed, but mostly calm.
Matt said that Penelope Ford and The Bunny would end Anna Jay’s comeback, then challenge Orange Cassidy to put his hair up against Jack was not happy with this, but Matt told him that he had better win. Why is Jack with Matt Hardy again?

SAMMY GUEVARA & FUEGO DEL SOL HAVE SIGNS, BUT MIRO COMES UP BEHIND THEM TO START A BRAWL- bad (I mean, I enjoyed it tremendously, but that’s not what AEW wanted here)
Notice how I didn’t say that Miro “attacked them from behind” or something like that. No, Miro is not a coward, so he made sure to spin Sammy around so that he was facing him before starting to throw punches. My reaction to this was exactly the same as Ricky Starks, who was all cheering and laughing and excited. Starks eventually said that Miro “saved us,” and that’s exactly how I feel. If you build up a match and then advertise that it’s “up next,” I expect you to go to that when we get back from the commercial break (a video package or promo for that match first is fine, but don’t do something totally unrelated), but instead I got these clowns coming out here getting a cheap pop with their dumb signs.
Also, where was Sammy before when his friends Jericho and Hager were getting beaten up? Sammy deserved this ass-kicking.

ANDRADE VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- very good
He did an excellent job of talking about how he was angry that Chavo cheated to help him win while still feeling like a complete and total heel.

ANNA JAY vs. PENELOPE FORD- 3.5/10
No Tay Conti or Bunny at ringside, which was quite strange since the Bunny was not only advertised on their graphic, but Matt said she would be there just a few minutes ago. The Bunny did eventually show up when Anna had her finisher locked in, causing a distraction. You’d think this would have brought Tay Conti out, but apparently not.
They did some stuff until the Bunny was able to pass Penelope brass knuckles for the win.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
The heels attack the babyface after the match, because AEW has a quota of those they need to hit every week. Tay Conti came out to make the save. Where was she before? Tay tried her best, but she got overwhelmed and punched in the face with the knucks yet again.
Orange Cassidy’s music played, at which point it was revealed that the HFO had came out and were blocking the ramp to prevent anyone from interfering. OC came out with just Kris Statlander. Where is the rest of his group? Trent is injured, but what about Chuckie T and Wheeler YUTA?
Anyway, OC and Statlander just kind of moseyed around. Presumably, while they were wasting time, Bunny was fulfilling Matt Hardy’s order to end Anna Jay’s career by repeatedly punching her in the face with the brass knuckles, caving her skull in and causing massive brain trauma.
The babyface faction of the Dork Order came out to stand by them. There are four of them, so now there are five babyfaces to stand off against the five heels. Yes, just five heels. Despite being with them a few minutes ago, Jack Evans didn’t come out with the HFO here. What a happy coincidence that both factions should leave a certain number of people in the back so that the number of male wrestlers would work out evenly on both sides. The other Dark Order group (Super Smash Brothers and Colt Cabana) came out, and the heels ran away from the overwhelming group of babyfaces. Fortunately, Anna Jay’s dead doesn’t look like someone stomp a can of tomato soup right now, so I guess The Bunny is a bad listener.
The babyface Dork Order want to make peace with the heel Dork Order. Cabana and Grayson are ready to do so, but Evil Uno won’t, and when he walks off, the other two follow.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE MAIN EVENT- decent

LIGHTS OUT MATCH: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston vs. Suzuki-Gun (Minoru Suzuki & Lance Archer)- 5.75/10
This match is unsanctioned because… um…?
And don’t tell me “this match could get too violent” because earlier this year AEW sanctioned a f*cking BOMB MATCH, and also sanctioned a match that they called “Blood & Guts” and hyped it up as if it was going to be the most brutal and violent thing ever.
I also love how Jake Roberts suddenly disappeared the moment they wanted to portray Archer as aligned with someone else. Archer assaulted random ring attendants for no reason. There will be no punishment from the company for this.
The heels taped Moxley’s arms behind his back and beat him up. Kingston was about to eat a Blackout onto the top of two set-up chairs when someone’s music played. The graphic that someone had ready to go on the ramp told us that this was Homicide. Instead of coming out from the back, though, he came through the crowd. Why couldn’t he just come down the ramp so it doesn’t look like the company was in on trying to screw Suzuki-Gun? And especially after Suzuki-Gun had already been making such claims spuriously, it’s ridiculous that AEW would do this. Unless, of course, Suzuki is actually right and the referee was biased in their previous match on company orders, which would open up a whole new can of worms.
I’m little surprised (and a little disappointed) that Tony Khan didn’t pony up whatever was necessary for the Kill Bill intro, and for whatever the song that came after it in Homicide’s old ROH days was. That was tremendous music for him.
The babyfaces won due to interference from their friend. How honorable of them. Kingston pinned Archer after hitting a trashcan that Archer was inside of with a Kendo stick. It would have hurt Archer a lot more to hit him with the Kendo stick directly, but I can pretend that Archer was just Koed the whole time after that DDT onto the chair that Moxley gave him (which Excalibur miscalled as a Paradigm Shift). Moxley and Suzuki kept brawling afterwards, so nothing was accomplished with any of this.
I also REALLY don’t like them bringing Homicide in. This roster is already WAY too big. People like Pac and Hikaru Shida are barely on TV. Where are you going to fit Homicide into this? Also…Homicide is a legend, but you usually don’t get to be a legend without getting relatively old. Yes, Sting, Jericho, and Dustin have worked out very well for AEW, but as we’ve seen over the years, at this age, Homicide only really seems to click when he’s in ROH because of his special history there, and, since his initial heel turn way back in 2003 or 2004 or whenever it was, because he has brought a hardcore element that the majority of the rest of the roster purposely wasn’t bringing. He has none of those things in AEW, so I’m quite worried it won’t work. He didn’t even feel like his was the focus of things here. Kingston, Moxley, and Suzuki all felt much more important than him in his debut segment.


This was a meh special episode of Dynamite. It started off quite well, but it took big downhill turn.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

Post by cero2k » Sep 27th, '21, 13:47

Big Red Machine wrote: Sep 26th, '21, 11:05

LIGHTS OUT MATCH: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston vs. Suzuki-Gun (Minoru Suzuki & Lance Archer)- 5.75/10
I also love how Jake Roberts suddenly disappeared the moment they wanted to portray Archer as aligned with someone else.
I heard he's having some health issues, I think he had to get surgery
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Re: BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 27th, '21, 14:00

cero2k wrote: Sep 27th, '21, 13:47
Big Red Machine wrote: Sep 26th, '21, 11:05

LIGHTS OUT MATCH: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston vs. Suzuki-Gun (Minoru Suzuki & Lance Archer)- 5.75/10
I also love how Jake Roberts suddenly disappeared the moment they wanted to portray Archer as aligned with someone else.
I heard he's having some health issues, I think he had to get surgery
So say that on the TV. Don't make it seem like he just stopped showing up to work. That's one of those things that WWE does that undermines their booking. Tony should learn from their failures and not copy that crap.
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Re: BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

Post by cero2k » Sep 27th, '21, 20:00

Big Red Machine wrote: Sep 27th, '21, 14:00 So say that on the TV. Don't make it seem like he just stopped showing up to work. That's one of those things that WWE does that undermines their booking. Tony should learn from their failures and not copy that crap.
People's personal situations and their privacy are more important than fake stories and booking, everyone has praised AEW for how they handled that with Brody and this isn't that much different.
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Re: BRM Reviews AEW Rampage Grand Slam (9/24/2021)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 29th, '21, 18:42

cero2k wrote: Sep 27th, '21, 20:00
Big Red Machine wrote: Sep 27th, '21, 14:00 So say that on the TV. Don't make it seem like he just stopped showing up to work. That's one of those things that WWE does that undermines their booking. Tony should learn from their failures and not copy that crap.
People's personal situations and their privacy are more important than fake stories and booking, everyone has praised AEW for how they handled that with Brody and this isn't that much different.
With Brodie, they told us he was out with a broken foot (which he was, originally).

I'm not asking to know all of Jake' business. All I'm asking is that they say that he's "having a medical issue," or just make something up like "he wants to see how Archer does without him at ringside."
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