BRM Reviews the 8/20/2021 Rampage (there may or may not have been a big debut)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 8/20/2021 Rampage (there may or may not have been a big debut)

Post by Big Red Machine » Aug 21st, '21, 22:18

We open with the crowd very loudly chanting… something. I can’t quite make it out what it is. ZN Funk, maybe?
The commentary team is now Mark Henry, Taz, Excalibur, and Jim Ross. Thank G-d they got rid of Jericho.

Cult of Personality plays and out comes…
Oh. They're chanting "CM PUNK!" That makes more sense.

If you’re going to pay for music for him (and you should), Cult of Personality is probably the right way to go, but I was kind of hoping they would go for Meseria Cantare. I thought it would have been a little cooler to play music people weren’t expecting and to have the crowd slowly figure out that it’s Punk as they remember it, but that’s just me. Also, the lyrics seem a little poetic (“your faith lost,” “you are now one of us,” etc.). I will spare you the AEW/Cult of Personality joke.

Punk went over and hugged a guy with a sign that said “if Punk is here we riot.” Did this guy think people didn’t want to see Punk? Why is he hugging Punk if he didn’t want to see him? What a dumb sign.
After hugging Dumb Sign Guy, Punk just ran across the aisle and dove into the crowd, and the crowd went nuts. Obviously they’re very different, but I’m getting Punk: The Final Chapter-esque vibes, but in reverse. It’s quite a special moment. I could have watched him fans in the front row while the crowd chanted “CM PUNK!” for ten more minutes and wouldn’t have gotten bored.

CM PUNK PROMO- He said all of the right stuff (other than forgetting that Punk: The Final Chapter wasn’t actually his last ROH match, because he came back for Unscripted II, of course). I loved the way he used his ROH departure and (departure from “professional wrestling” as he put it) to set up the Michael Jordan “I’m back” reference. I can certainly see some people in WWE (especially people he was friends with, like Kofi) being a little offended at his line that he wished he had such hungry, passionate young talent in the locker room with him ten years ago, but I don’t think that was Punk’s intention.
Punk called out Darby Allin, who showed up in the rafters with Sting. Punk challenged him to a match at All Out 2021.
This whole thing… this was special. That’s the only way to put it.

CHRISTIAN CAGE & JURASSIC EXPRESS PROMO- fine
Christian did the talking for the whole group, both for Jurassic Express in the tag tournament and for himself building up to his title match against Kenny Omega.

ALL OUT #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: Private Party (w/Matt Hardy) vs. A Boy & His Dinosaur (w/Marko Stunt)- 6.5/10
They did lots of big stuff. Some of it (like the Doomsday Canadian Destroyer) worked very well, while others (like Marq Quen’s dive that almost completely missed but Luchasaurus fell down anyway) looked quite bad.
Multiple interested parties watched the match. Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy won.

KENNY OMEGA & DON CALLIS PROMO- meh

JADE CARGILL VS. KIERA HOGAN VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- short, but good

KIERA HOGAN vs. JADE CARGILL (w/Mark Sterling)- squash
Jade is now 11-0. If Fuego del Sol can get a title shot at 1-44, surely Jade should have received a title shot by now, right?

MARK HENRY’S SPLIT-SCREEN INTERVIEW WITH 2.0, DANIEL GARCIA, AND JON MOXLEY- good
2.0 were loud and clowning. Garcia was okay. But Moxley… Moxley was TREMENDOUS. His whole promo was awesome, but “Daniel Garcia has a better chance of getting me pregnant than he does of submitting me in that ring tonight” is one of those lines that is going to stick with me forever.

JON MOXLEY (w/Eddie Kingston) vs. DANIEL GARCIA (w/2.0)- 4.5/10
Garcia worked the injured leg but Moxley beat him soundly.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- dull
Garcia attacks Moxley’s injured knee again and 2.0 come in and attack Kingston and Moxley after the match. Sting and Darby come out to make the save, and 2.0 and Garcia get beaten up again. What was the point of this?


A good show from AEW, but mostly on the strength of the Punk appearance.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Excalibur- “What bigger test is there in AEW for CM Punk than Darby Allin?”
Umm… AEW World Champion Kenny Omega? AEW TNT Champion Miro? Anybody ranked ahead of Darby in the rankings?

2. Excalibur told us that Mark Henry was “very familiar” with Jade Cargill, at which point Mark proceeded to get Jade’s record wrong, which was quite embarrassing because it had been on the screen just moments before. Oops.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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