BRM Reviews the 11/11/2020 Dynamite (bad)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 11/11/2020 Dynamite (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 16th, '20, 09:14

TAZ PROMO- AMAZING!
Darby is in the top deck. Taz cuts a promo on him and also tosses in a shot at Cody before building up the Brian Cage vs. Matt Sydal. He did such a phenomenal job building up Darby, Cage and even Sydal, the last of which was quite hard to do because no one has seen him do anything of consequence in wrestling in YEARS.

MATT SYDAL vs. BRIAN CAGE (w/Ricky Starks)- 6.75/10
The FTW Title needs to go. Among other reasons, no one in the promotion seems to be able to say the name of the belt correctly, as they all keep calling it the “FTW World Heavyweight Title.” The word “World” is not on the belt plate… and the reason for that is because “world” is what the W stands for! It’s the “F*ck the World Heavyweight Title.” Go back and watch the promo!
Jim Ross told us that “submissions will not help” Matt Sydal beat Cage. Wasn’t the most high-profile of Cage’s few losses due to a submission? (Yes, I know Taz said this, too, but 1) Taz wasn’t the one to first voice the idea, and 2) Taz is Cage’s manager, so he’s allowed to say things like that).
Aside from the commentary, I really liked this match. It was excellent for the time it got (under eight minutes), and felt like it went much longer than it actually, but in the good way. I can see some people saying that they gave Sydal too much, considering that Cage is getting a push and Sydal is going nowhere, but I actually felt it was necessary to give Sydal a lot in order to validate Taz’s hype as more than talk (and, consequently, making Cage’s victory seem more impressive).

RICKY STARKS PROMO- decent

CODY PROMO- infuriating
Everyone else cuts their promos with the house lights on, but for Cody, they’re off, and he’s lit by a big f*cking spotlight. He congratulates Darby Allin on his win, and tells us that he will not be seeking a rematch at this time. So automatic rematches are in thing in AEW. That’s good to know. Although I have to say, if the past two champions haven’t been interested in a rematch after losing the belt, and most of the people who have gotten shots at the belt didn’t have to do anything to earn it, then the belt doesn’t really seem that important, does it?
Instead, the thing that is important to Cody now is getting his win back against MJF. You remember that, right? Where Cody’s supposed best friend betrayed him and made it so that he could never ever become AEW World Champion, then he made Cody endure horrific trials including a brutal whipping just for the chance to get his revenge, only for MJF to cheat Cody out of that match? And how Cody came out the next week on Dynamite acting all nonchalant about it and not giving a sh*t? But now, ten and a half months later, he suddenly cares about avenging this loss a lot more than getting back the title that he just lost. Just because Cody isn’t a total f*ck-up of a booker like the Bucks, Omega, and Brandi have turned out to be doesn’t mean that he’s actually good.
There used to be a lot of criticism leveled at WWE for how nonchalant they would have their wrestlers (and particularly John Cena) act after losing a title. I see very little different between this and that. I also can’t help but see a slight discrepancy in how important the title seems to be to Cody after this loss and after is previous loss. It’s amazing how the title becomes so much more important when Cody knows he’s going to be getting it back in a few weeks.

A WOMAN INTERRUPTS CODY’S PROMO- bad, but at least it was entertaining
While Cody is talking, some random person hops the barricade and gets into the ring with him. Where is security to stop this person?
Said person tried to seduce Cody before introducing herself as Jade Cargill. Seeing as how she is a tall, fit African-American woman with the last name Cargill, I was SHOCKED to learn that this was actually her shoot last name, and not a reference to Brotherhood of Mutants member Joanna Cargill, considering the large number of comic book fans in the promotion.
She says she’s been sitting a ringside studying her competition, but then starts acting like a manager and talking about the “giant” that she knows, who might be awakened by Cody’s claim that he is a “giant-killer.” Didn’t Cody say that a few weeks ago? Why is she only interrupting him now?
She turned to leave, but then stopped at the top of the ramp to congratulate Cody on his getting his full name back… and then told him he “didn’t have the balls to only go by one name.” This ranks up there with the most baffling insults I have ever heard.
Yeah, yeah, I’m sure this was intended as a hint as to who her “giant” is, but it came off like a forced, weird thing to say that was said just so Cody could have some bring up that he beat WWE in court and got his worked last name back.
Or it’s not a hint and she’s just going to tell us who it is. It’s Shaq. Which is a nickname, so her whole thing about Cody not having the balls to only go by one name is even sillier.
Cody vs. Shaq? Really? Big Show vs. Shaq is a cool idea because they’re both big. Cody vs. Shaq is just random, and I don’t see what the appeal could possibly be.

Anyway, just when I thought the segment was over the for the second time in under a minute, out comes Brandi. She struts out of the tunnel and says “who told you tonight was open mic night, bitch?”
They REALLY need to work on Brandi if they want people to think she’s a babyface. She was a catty asshole to Allie for the wrong reasons, then let Allie cheat so they could have an advantage in a tournament. Now that Allie has turned on her friend Q.T., she hasn’t been shown to give a single sh*t, which makes her a bad friend. And now here she is yelling at this woman for cutting a promo on a wrestling show! If you didn’t want her to talk, why didn’t you just tell someone in the truck to CUT HER MIC? Or had security stop her when she hopped the guardrail. She was either going to attack someone or start talking, and if you don’t want people to do either of those, you should have someone in place to stop them.
Hell, at the very least you could have actually RAN out here to stop her. It’s not like she just started talking. She’s been talking for the better part of two and a half minutes now. In fact, the fact that Cargill got through all of the big things she had to say and only then did Brandi emerge to scold her for talking out of turn just makes this feel even more phony and scripted.
So yeah. Brandi didn’t like that this woman made fun her husband. Brandi keeps trying to talk tough but Jade just stands here and laughs her off. She even gave her the “talk to the hand” gesture at one point. Brandi tells her to “get off my stage and don’t come back unless I send for you!” Then she says “Bitch, get your ass out of here,” which she responded to by crossing her arms and smiling. Hold on… this woman told Cody that one of his arrogant proclamations would come back to bite him in the ass, she’s friends with Shaq, and now she’s standing there and completely ignoring Brandi while Brandi has an aneurysm at her? I think she’s the new top babyface.
After loudly declaring “bitch, get your ass out of here!” BRANDI turned to leave. I’m rolling on the floor at this point. Jade apparently decided that pushing Brandi’s buttons is fun, and decided to check if there was a button on Brandi’s butt, which she reached out and touched, just to bother her. Yeah, it’s a heel move, but I’m still laughing because it feels like she is rubbing in that Brandi’s ass is the one that is leaving after Brandi yelled at her to “get your ass out of here.”
Brandi… well… I would say that she gets understandably upset about this, but she was already upset. She does turn back towards Jade, and I guess Jerry Lynn thought there might be some violence, so he showed up to get between them.
Things are getting heated. Actually, it’s really just Brandi getting heated while Jade stands there and smiles, but the point is that someone thinks some violence might erupt, so out comes road agent Jerry Lynn to get between them.
Brandi is clearly supposed to be the babyface here, but- like with the Bucks last month- they have made her so damn unlikable that someone antagonizing her has me reacting like she’s a heel getting her comeuppance. Also, could we maybe give Brandi something to do on the show that doesn’t involve being Mrs. Cody Rhodes?

CODY GETS JUMPED (yup, the segment still isn’t over)- bad
After the women left, Brian Cage hopped the guardrail and attacked Cody from behind. Ricky Starks then ran out from the tunnel. They menaced Cody, but Darby Allin’s music hit. I guess they had someone keeping an eye on him just in case he decided to head to the ring so they could know if they needed to play his music. Anyway, he jumped the guardrail and runs across the ring and hits a Coffin Drop on Starks while Cage just stands there and does nothing. Only once Starks was taken out did Cage move to confront Darby. Before they could make any contact, Cody got up, spun Cage around, and hit him with two strikes that look extremely light for the amount they moved Cage. Darby followed that up with a big reverse splash in the corner, and Cage bailed. It was only at this point that I realized that Darby’s “jacket with thumbtacks in it” had the thumbtacks pointing outwards, not inwards. I know the idea of them pointing inwards seems ridiculous, but this is Darby Allin we’re talking about.
And it’s STILL not over, as here comes Will Hobbs out of the tunnel throwing a weapon at the retreating heels for good measure. This was actually my favorite part of this, as it makes perfect sense that if Hobbs was watching the show from backstage like a good, respectful coworker (and wrestling fan) would do, and he saw Team Taz beating up on someone, he would come save them, because he has a beef with Team Taz. It’s much better to do something like this than to not have him come out at all simply because the story “doesn’t need” him in this moment, as this makes things feel more real rather than making it feel like people only ever make the save or don’t make the save as the story requires (Dustin and Q.T. were presumably getting ready for their match, which is next). Even though Darby was the one who disposed of both heels it was f*cking Cody whose music was playing
Hobbs was out here for less than a minute, and Ross still managed to call him “Willie.” Hobbs also tore his shirt off for no reason whatsoever. I laughed at that.
This was pretty bad. The action was painfully choreographed, and the only thing it accomplished was killing the heels’ heat from their post-match attack at the PPV. The angle at the PPV was more than sufficient to set up a tag match, so there was nothing to be gained by doing this, even if the action hadn’t looked bad.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS JON MOXLEY- great

BUNKHOUSE MATCH: Natural Nightmares vs. The Butcher & The Blade (w/The Bunny)- 6.75/10
AEW has decided to take a page out of the WWE playbook with silly set-dressing. Actually, seeing as how these were themed rather than just putting a bunch of ladders around ringside in an artistic formation, it felt more like something out of Vince Russo’s playbook. This is a Bunkhouse match, so we’ve got bales of hey and wooden stands of some sort in corners, and we’ve got red carpets and steel chairs painted gold because… um… I’m not really sure, why, actually. But they’re there. There was also a guitar and a lasso, and a cowbell. Also, a Kendo stick. I don’t know much about bunkhouses, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have those in them.
Dustin got handcuffed to the ring ropes before a commercial break, and eventually just got free somehow that we didn’t see. When he made his big dramatic return and attacked the heels, the announcers completely ignored it because they were busy plugging AEW hoodies.
The Bunny got involved several times, but of course, because we can’t have man-on-woman violence, the babyfaces couldn’t stand up to her. If only the Natural Nightmares had some sort of female manager who could come out and stop The Bunny. Perhaps even one who would feel a sense of personal betrayal toward Allie/The Bunny, who she had become friends with. Oh well. Too bad there’s no one like that in the building tonight.
Stuff happened. Dustin grabbed The Butcher right near a ledge… and the f*cking idiot director decided to cut to a shot of Q.T. stumbling around rather than stay with the impending big spot. Thankfully, they got the camera back on Dustin and Butcher before the big spot happened, but that cut never should have happened in the first place (and they did manage to miss the big spot where The Bunny went through a table). Said spot was a bulldog into some wacky wooden box that was set up off to the side. I thought I saw a plastic cow head at one point.
There was a lot of blood and hitting each other with things and The Bunny got bumped at the end. If you’re into blood and you like hardcore stuff then this was fine, but this is yet another match that could have felt like something important if they had done a good job of actually telling this story on TV. I still don’t know if Allie betraying Q.T. was a plan the whole time or she genuinely did leave The Blade but then got bored with Q.T. and decided to go back to him, and brought all of Q.T.’s money as a make-up gift. If they had done a good job at building up the emotion in this feud, this really could have been something big. Instead, it was just a weapons match with some wacky set pieces.

MATT HARDY PROMO/ELITE DELETION RECAP- mostly good
Yeah… I’m calling bullsh*t on Matt saying he has never been in a feud that “caused as much pain and rage” as this feud with Sammy Guevara. The Edge feud comes immediately to mind. Other than that, Matt cut a good promo putting Sammy over as a worthy opponent who had earned his respect and told him “do not squander what I have given you.”

MJF’S INNER CIRCLE “INDUCTION CEREMONY”- boring as hell
Oh my G-d more over the top bullsh*t. Why is AEW, the kayfabe wrestling company, indulging them in this? Don’t they have something better to put on their air? Why am I seeing this instead of Christopher Daniels against Jungle Boy or whatever?
Sammy Guevara is not here, even though Jericho confirmed for us that he was out of the hospital. MJF spoke and was over the top. He copped lyrics from Drake, which angered Ortiz for some reason.
MJF turned this into a birthday celebration for Jericho. The balloons all blew away. They probably weren’t a good idea in an outdoor arena. MJF announces that he’s paying for all of them to go to Vegas next week. Hopefully we won’t have to see any of it.
This was less stupid that we’ve been getting from these guys recently, but it was still extremely boring.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS THE YOUNG BUCKS- bad
The Bucks are still coming off like heels. Next week they’re giving a title shot to some random indy team who sent them a message on Instagram, so keep paying close attention to those important rankings and win-loss records, everyone.

SCORPIO SKY vs. SHAWN SPEARS (w/Tully Blanchard)- 6.5/10
This was a fine first match for this feud, with Spears cheating to win via his loaded glove.

DASHA GONZALEZ CAN’T INTERVIEW KENNY OMEGA BECAUSE KENNY SUDDLEY RAN OFF SOMEWHERE- Alex Marvez caught up to him in a parking lot. Marvez told Kenny that he would be Moxley’s next challenger, but Kenny already knew this. Kenny says he’s ready to be a top guy now. Kenny mentions that Moxley has never beaten him in an actually match, and made a veiled reference to the fact that their match didn’t actually count in the record books because… um… the plot needed it to not count for no adequately explained or consistently enforced reason.

TAY CONTI (w/Anna Jay) vs. RED VELVET (w/Brandi Rhodes)- 4.5/10
We are only now getting matches booked to follow up on things that happened a month ago on Dark. Apparently, Brandi is still feuding with Anna Jay. Red Velvet’s music kept playing, even after they started wrestling.
Both looked good, though I’d prefer that people stay away from spots like simultaneous roundhouse kicks. Anna Jay gave Conti a chair but Conti refused to use it and managed to win clean.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS THE INNER CIRCLE- snore
Sammy was at the beach instead of the arena because MJF didn’t send him the email about the location of the induction being changed. Who could possibly care about this cartoon bullsh*t?

EDDIE KINGSTON PROMO- fine

PENTA EL 0M vs. REY FENIX- 6/10
A few minutes in, Penta is ripping at Fenix’s mask. Where is this coming from? Fenix later did the same to Penta, and we actually got a good, clear shot of his face. The announcers were yelling at Kingston (who was on commentary with them) for breaking up a family, but as far as I’ve seen, all Eddie did was book these guys against each other. This is them ripping at each other’s masks for no seemingly no reason, not Eddie.
I wasn’t a fan of this. I’ve seen these guys wrestle each other a whole bunch of times, and any time someone starts ripping at or trying to take off a mask when there isn’t a blood feud going on, it feels like forced drama to me and takes me out of the match. Penta won this time, so they’re now 1-1.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Kingston gets into the ring and puts Penta over. He shoves Rey Fenix out of the ring with his foot, telling Penta that he doesn’t need him anymore and calling him “dead weight.” Before Penta could react, Pac returned. Everyone acted surprised by this, even though he said he’d be back last week. Pac tried to fight Kingston but was held back by a lone referee. Other referees poured out from the back to make sure Kingston didn’t take any cheap shots. Holy crap, there are like seven referees out here. I don’t think we’ve seen half of these people before.
Tony Schiavone tells us that he has just been informed by Tony Khan that for next week’s show he has booked Pac vs. Eddie Kingston! JUST KIDDING! This is AEW, where in kayfabe, the people in charge are terrible at booking, so instead we’re getting Pac vs. The Blade.

This is what is becoming a fairly typical episode of Dynamite. The wrestling is solid and the promos from the usual suspects (Moxley, Taz, Omega) are very good, but the storylines themselves are faulty, often squandering the potential of the matches.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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