BRM Reviews the 1/29/2020 Dynamite

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/29/2020 Dynamite

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 30th, '20, 22:50

Is it too much to ask to keep the camera steady? Just track the pacing Moxley, don’t walk back and forth with him!
Fortunately, I was soon able to tune this out because Moxley cut an early but rather strong contender for Promo of the Year. Jericho came out and cut a promo that was also great, but nowhere near the level of Moxley’s. Jericho brought his crew out, to which Moxley cut another awesome promo about how he was fueled by the crowd in his home state. Jericho revealed that LAX had brought in some “Bronx street thugs,” and the whole group advanced on Moxley. Only one of them actually approached him so Moxley kicked his ass, then charged at the rest of the group. They were quickly broken up by security. I thought this was a really great segment and was effective in showing just how crazy and fearless Moxley is, but at the same time, the end was WAY too campy for my tastes.

MJF VISITS THE BUTCHER & THE BLADE’S BUTCHER SHOP TO PAY THEM TO ELIMINATE THE YOUNG BUCKS- Apparently being handed money and given a mission magically transforms them into their goofy supervillain identities. This is the sort of thing that is just so stupidly unnecessary. There were SOOOO many better ways to get this idea across. Anything from having them jump the Bucks backstage and have MJF say he hired them to having MJF just do commentary for this match to having the announcers say that MJF demanded that this match be booked so that his cronies could make an example of the Bucks and the Bucks are not the type of guys to back down from a challenge. Why did we need to spend money producing this goofy location-shot video ending in pointless magic?

YOUNG BUCKS vs. THE BUTCHER & THE BLADE (w/the Bunny)- 5.75/10
MJF was o commentary for this match. The Bucks was a standard babyfaces vs. heels match. They got attacked by the Butcher afterwards but Kenny Omega came out to make the save. Adam Page came out to hit his move, too, but Kenny had already done most of the saving. Page was drinking. The announcers teased the idea of the Bucks challenging Page & Omega.

Jim Ross promised us news in a Revolution video package, but I didn’t see anything new in the video package.

BIG SWOLE vs. NYLA ROSE- 4.75/10
They showed us footage of Nyla rose putting Shana out of action by putting her through a table last night on Dark. They also showed us clips of Big Swole winning on Dark two weeks ago. Hooray!
Nyla won clean.

KIP SABIAN (w/Penelope Ford) vs. CODY RHODES (w/Arn Anderson)- 4/10
Sabian also got a win on Dark. Anyone who you want to give any sort of push to shouldn’t need to cheat to beat Q.T. Marshall.
Dumbf*ck Cody fell for the exact same trick that he and Brandi pulled in what felt like every single ROH and NJPW singles match they had. That’s your fault, dude. I can’t feel sorry for you.
Penelope Ford would later stop Cody from cheating by hitting Sabian with the foreign object that is his belt. That was soon followed by a spot where she threw her shoe into the ring, and they wanted us to believe that the time it took Bryce Remsburg to clear the shoe out of the ring cost Cody the match, even though it pretty clearly wouldn’t have been a three-count even if Bryce had counted from the time the pin began because either Cody blew the spot by making the cover too late, Bryce blew the spot by getting to the shoe too fast, or Sabian blew the spot by kicking out too soon.
Arn got angry at this to the point that he got into the ring and chest-bumped the referee. Meanwhile Arn’s actions were distracting the referee and Cody while buying Sabian time to recover. In other words, if Arn hadn’t decided to make a big deal out of something he shouldn’t have made a big deal out of, Cody would have followed up on Sabian and maintained his advantage. Instead, Arn did something that should have gotten Cody disqualified but Cody got off lucky that Bryce was nice and only ejected Arn from ringside. You can see why I find it really hard to root for Cody.
At least Arn acknowledged his wrongdoing. The crowd, on the other hand, got angry at the official for doing his job because their biased sheep, and they all chanted “BULLSH*T!” even though both Cody and Arn accepted this punishment as fair and deserved.

Penelope Ford got to do her interference spot, followed by a Sabian dive. They went to make out, but Joey Janela, who was sitting in the front tow in a pair of sun glasses, popped his head in the way with a big smile on his face. Because you react to an ex-girlfriend who hit you in the nuts for no reason and her new douchebag boyfriend who talked trash about you with goofy pranks, apparently, and not by being angry, because Jim Cornette is actually right about something on occasion, and the fact that Joey Janela is a garbage-wrestler clown is one of those things.
Cody’s midsection was worked over throughout the match, so that was good. He hit a bunch of moves that target the head to beat Sabian. This would have been a million times better if they had just had their match and not done all of that crap with everyone on the outside.

Dr. Baker appears to be trying to cosplay as The Wench from Red Dragon Inn, a game I cannot recommend highly enough. She cut a promo on Jim Ross that pretty much assess the way a lot of people (myself included) feel about his performance both in general and with the women in particular.
She claims to have been the first woman signed to AEW, which I’m pretty sure has to be false because of Brandi. She vaguely accused Riho of being an absentee champion, then diagnosed Tony with gingivitis based solely on his bad breath alone. That was a good line. The rest of this was… well… either trite heel stuff delivered without much charisma, or a shot at JR that falls into the category of “don’t point your shows weaknesses out to us.”

The lighting in the room they were in was embarrassingly bad, and this is coming from someone who doesn’t usually notice such things. The Bucks said they were glad to win. Adam Page came in to give the Bucks some nameplates. He said they might need them in the future. I’m not seeing how this was supposed to be mean of him. Kenny hurried him away, then announced that he had gotten a match signed for next week, which was himself, Page, and the Bucks vs. Butcher, Blade, and a team of their choice.

THE HYBRID 2 (Jack Evans & Angelico) vs. SCU (Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian) (w/Christopher Daniels)- 6/10
SCU are in their various Kobe Bryant jerseys. They did stuff. SCU won.

THE DARK ORDER THREATEN SCU FROM THE TONYTRON- They say that the Exalted One has ordered them to target Daniels’ buddies in SCU.

PAC VIDEO- wacky
This didn’t need to be shot in black and white with Pac jump-cutting around a staircase and having obnoxious flashing. Just let the man cut his f*cking promo.
In case you couldn’t case, Pac is still angry with Kenny and will start coming after him next week. Also, he’s angry at Moxley and feels cheated because wrestling matches shouldn’t take place on moving boats.

They announced Dr. Britt Baker, DMD vs. the debuting Yuka Sakazaki as well as Ortiz vs. Moxley for next week. They also announced that Butcher & Blade have chosen to team with the Lucha Bros.

DARBY ALLIN & PRIVATE PARTY vs. THE INNER CIRCLE (Proud-n-Powerful & Chris Jericho)- 6.75/10
Solid but unremarkable. Not really good enough for a TV main event.

The Inner Circle beat up the babyfaces after the match so that there would be an excuse for Moxley to come out and make the save because they’re mean. Guevara hit and guillotined Darby with his own skateboard. That was a good angle. Moxley came out to make the save and beat up all of the heels with a baseball bat. This felt forced due to the total lack of previous feud between the Inner Circle and the men they assaulted after the match.

This was a very meh episode of AEW. That opening segment was fantastic, but nothing else was really worth your time to see.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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