BRM Reviews the 3/13/2014 NXT

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 3/13/2014 NXT

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 14th, '14, 07:39

PAIGE vs. SASHA BANKS (w/Charlotte [w/Summer Rae on a Stick])- 4.25/10
Summer Rae on a stick is not working for me. I demand the real Summer Rae (on my stick).
Sasha grabs Paige's ring jacket, makes fun of it, then throws it at her. Paige is going to MURDER this b*tch.
The announcers are calling Paige "The Total Package." Sorry. You can't be the Total Package unless you bodyslam Yokozuna (though on a semi-related note, how cool would Bryan Alvarez and Dave Meltzer's "YES! Express" idea be?!)
Paige wins with her new bad-ass submission. Charlotte goes for a post-match beatdown but Nattie makes the save. I know I shouldn't comment on things like this, but I think you could fit about three of Paige's boobs into one of Nattie's. That is some size difference there.

SAMI ZAYN PROMO- good

MOJO RAWLEY PROMO- this f*cker is HYPED

THE ASCENSION vs. TRAVIS TYLER & CAL BISHOP- DUD!
I am so sick and tired of these Ascension squashes.

MASON RYAN vs. WESLEY BLAKE- 0.75/10
Renee Young calls Tensai "Jason."
I was expecting a squash, and was pleasantly surprised to get an actual match with the heel working a body part.

DIVAS SEGMENT- Wretched.
Bailey plugs the WWE Network, saying she has been watching Bret Hart matches and she thinks Bret is so cool. The BFFs show up an bury Bret. Bailey grabs Summer Rae on a stick and does the sort of sh*t that reminds me why I hate her so much. Sasha threatens to beat her up but Nattie steps in to make the save because Bailey can't fight her own battles because she is mentally damaged. Nattie says that she likes the idea of Summer Rae's head on a stick. Why have they never let Nattie cut great promos on the main roster?
Nattie's retort to Charlotte burying her uncle is bringing up the fact that Bret won the WWE Title from Flair. She mistakenly says that this caused Flair to leave to the company. Nattie says that this title win was "unforgettable," which is ironic, because according to both men the match was a stinker to the point where footage of it has never been shown on WWE TV. It was a true house show match.

XAVIER WOODS vs. ALEXANDER RUSEV (w/Lana)- 3.5/10
I don't know how I missed this before, but Xavier Woods is billed from Angel Grove, California. All of those monster attacks must have made for a horribly traumatic childhood.
Tyler Breeze comes out and asks Woods to leave so he can get his revenge on Rusev instead. Woods won't leave, so Breeze jumps him. When Rusev approaches the ring, Breeze bails, leaving the hurt Woods to face Rusev. The match was short, but decent for the time it got.

BO & NEVILLE BACKSTAGE- bad. It just came across as horribly scripted. I was all to aware that I was watching a play. How does Bo get slapped in the face and not do something about it?

BO DALLAS vs. COLIN CASSIDY- 4/10
The match was slow and uninteresting. The announcers all mistake a cravate for a sleeper hold. I hope Regal lectures them.
Bo responds to "BO-RING!" chants by shouting "YEAH! This is Bo's ring!" FANTASTIC!

A bad episode of NXT.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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