Cero Reviews Riptide Wrestling: RIPTIDE Returns

[cero2k]

Riptide Wrestling RIPTIDE Returns
August 3rd, 2017
Brighthelm Centre, Brighton

Spike Trivet vs Jack Sexsmith - 5/10
Sprike cut a promo before the match talking shit about Jack Sexsmith about the fans cheering for a dude that wins matches with a condom, all in response at Sexsmith coming out (no pun intended) to fight him at 'Beers. Bands. Wrestling'. Sexsmith also went to cut a promo, but Trivet jumped him during it to start the match.

Match was the usual Sexsmith match for a while, with him being worked on for a while, in this case, Trivet working the arm. Sexsmith makes a comeback, brings out his dirty condom, but Trivet managed to get rid of it, and as he goes to use it himself, Sexsmith reverses the Claw into Trivet's mouth. Trivet's only escape is to low blow Sexsmith and take the loss via DQ. Really early in the match, Trivet's nose was busted open and he sported a bloody Chaplin all match.

Post-match - Trivet attacked the ref, but Sexsmith made the save.

TK Cooper w/Dahlia Black vs Chuck Mambo - 6.5/10
It's Cooper vs Mambo, there was obviously a lot of comedy with beach balls, hostages, Cooper and Mambo getting into a tag fight against the staff, and at the end, Cooper failing to keep his promise to not get superkicked tonight. Mambo would eventually win with an Air Raid Crash. Good fun match.

Drinking Match
Eddie Dennis vs Session Moth Martina -
They didn't do the usual 'beer every minute' stipulation, but it seems like both started the match a couple of beers in, specially Dennis. They drank two beers before they actually started fighting. They fought for about 2 minutes before Lord Gideon Grey and Kurtis Chapman interrupted the match.

Grey and Chapman talked shit about a drinking match and challenged Eddie Dennis to a 3-way match. Dennis challenged Chapman to drink instead, which he did out of peer pressure, but unfortunately for him, security evicted him due to him drinking underage without a proper ID on him. Thanks to the distraction, Gideon Grey jumped Dennis and Martina and thus starting...

Eddie Dennis & Session Moth Martina vs Lord Gideon Grey vs Kurtis Chapman - 5.5/Fun
Match saw Grey get a lot of offense on Martina thanks to Eddie being out of commission or just plain drunk, but focusing on Martina gave Eddie the time to recover, get back in the match, and between the two, Eddie dropped Grey with a piledriver into Martina's crotch. When they had the pin, Martina and Eddie started debating about who should win, the fans sided with Session Moth, and this led to these two falling on their asses.

Finally, Kurtis Chapman returned as an adult, he had a beard and jacket, took out Dennis and Martina, and when he went to take out Grey with a Brainbustah, Martina and Dennis recovered, superkicked the other two, and pinned them for the win. This was something for sure, not exactly a great wrestling exhibition, not even good, but it was fun as hell.

Chant of the night for Grey was "Your Head's to big for you".

Dahlia Black w/TK Cooper vs Candyfloss - 7.5/10
This was the type of match that I felt in love with Candyfloss for, full of hard hitting cuteness. This was actually kinda competitive and back and forward, with Candyfloss looking really good, her moves looked a lot better that they were at Freedom's Road around the same time. At the end, it was Black who dropped Floss with a Weapon X for the win, but she actually used the set up to stretch out Candyfloss a bit for a submission win. It be cool if Cage would start doing this too. Pretty good match, I loved Candyfloss here.

British Strong Style vs World's Cutest Tag Team & Colt Cabana - 8/10
Hmmm, I'm actually kinda interested in a Tyler Bate vs Technical Wizard Joey Ryan match, hell, imagine The Dynasty vs BSS. They did a lot of the Penis comedy to start the match, it was done well and quick, getting it out of the way before both teams would start brawling around the ring.

Match saw BSS work over Joey for a while until he managed to get his Penis some action, tag in Cabana for a bit, but it was all building towards Candice getting the real hot tag and running wild over BSS. There was a cool near fall with Cabana and Candice having submissions while Joey superkicked Bate. A couple of near falls later, Bate did the Airplane spin on Candice, and I think this had to be one of his fastest spins I've seen.

Finish finally saw a Penis vs Mustache battle between Tyler Bate and Joey Ryan. Dunne threw in the towel, but the ref didn't take it. All BSS went for Joey's penis and got slammed. Candice hit the Ballsplex on Bate for the win. Great match. This made me miss Candice and BSS a lot, to bad they're gone.

Jimmy Havoc vs "The Villain" Marty Scurll - 8.5/10
Since at the end of his run, PROGRESS only seemed to know how to book Havoc into deathmatches, it was a pleasant surprise to watch him straight wrestle a match again. It felt like forever since I've seen him work like this.

Match saw Marty focus on the arm and hand towards the Chickenwing. Havoc would just kinda work through the pain, go got the head, and chase the Acid Rainmaker. Most of the second half of the match, these two went back and forward with a ton of counters. Finish saw Scurll dislocate Havoc's finger, lock in the Crossface Chickenwing, and submit Havoc for the win. Really good match, it was refreshing (in a way) to see both these guys to their old work again before Scurll would become a weird plague doctor and Havoc get typecast ever further.

OVERALL THOUGHTS
This was a really fun, easy to watch, show. It was only one hour and a half, but it felt even shorter. The matches were not incredible go-out-of-your-way-to-watch matches, but they were all either really fun, or really good, and isn't that what wrestling is all about? This show felt like when I first started watching PROGRESS before Glenn and Jim became Triple H's UK stooges, aiding him to cool off the UK scene. Riptide had that cool and fun atmosphere that PROGRESS had years back, it felt cool watching UK wrestling again, it was like Bar Wrestling with production. GRANTED this show is from two years ago and maybe even Riptide will suffer to 2019, but at least for this show, it was a fun place to be at.

Now, the thing about Riptide and what makes it different is the actual product. I think it was in one of my first PROGRESS reviews that I said that PROGRESS was really cinematic. Well, they have NOTHING on Riptide. The camera work, angles, and lighting done for these matches was on a whole other level than everyone else, even Lucha Underground. It's not as crafted as NJPW's, but the actual picture of one of a kind.