Cero Reviews PROGRESS 46: I Like To Chill Out Here And Shoot Some Dinosaurs

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Cero Reviews PROGRESS 46: I Like To Chill Out Here And Shoot Some Dinosaurs

Post by cero2k » Apr 8th, '17, 19:28

PROGRESS Chapter 46: I Like To Chill Out Here And Shoot Some Dinosaurs
March 26, 2017
Electric Ballroom, Camden, England

Jim Smallman - It's PROGRESS's birthday today! Good little thing about how far they've come, who've they lost (RIP Kris Travis), and the many one night stands that have happened thanks to PROGRESS shows. He puts everyone over and reminds you to DON'T. BE. A. DICK!

The Origin vs The Origin - 7/10
This is not a type-o, we've finally come to this, Origin: Banter Ed vs Bastard-Faced-Origin! It's not often the fans need to chant to 'ring the bell' at the start of the match. There was tons o comedy (as expected) before the bell rang, so once the match actually started, it was all wrestling. I would imagine they would blame it on comedy, but Gibson and Cruz just straight up out-wrestled Ligero and Mastiff to a victory. I'm guessing we're getting a more serious Banter edition later on, which should be great. This feud needs to escalate.

In this match I noticed that the commentary table won't start speaking until the ring bells, I wish more companies would do this sometimes, you hear that Cole?

Post-Match - Mastiff revives Ligero a la Undertaker using beer instead of an urn.

Natural Progression Series IV Semi-Finals
Dahlia Black w/TK Cooper vs Toni Storm - 6.5/10
Cooper and Black were just making out during Storm's entrance, kinda insulting ain't it? Man, Dahlia Black really thought she could go strong style vs Toni Storm, and she did give her a good battle, but Storm really was never close to losing this match. Cooper's interference was actually kept to a minimum, which was good.

Travis Banks w/TK Cooper vs Jack Sexsmith - 8/10
uggghh Sexsmith, but if someone can get a good match out of him, it's Travis Banks. Looks like Cooper remembers his former problems with Sexsmith, but right before the ring bell, Banks sends him to the back. Smart booking would have made this the utter destruction of Sexsmith and the babyface fire of Jack not giving up, but they gave Sexsmith waay to much offense. Match was great, but it just made Banks look bad having to sell to Sexsmith so much. Isn't there ANYONE else backstage that we can do this story with? Even fucking Chuck Mambo! Ok, let's just imagine this wasn't Sexsmith, then this was an awesome match, Kiwi Dragon Travis Banks is the fucking man!

Post-Match - Banks and Cooper put Sexsmith over, Banks shakes his hands and Cooper helps him up to his feet.

Mark Haskins w/Jack Haskins vs Axel Dieter Jr - 8/10
well, i'm marking out already at the idea of this match. Haskins just gave his kid the greatest entrance ever, a dinosaur comes out, and the team up of Haskins and his kid Jack take the dinosaur down! I really really hope Dieter doesn't kill Jack Haskins. Mark Haskins started out working Diete's legs, but then they both transitioned into mostly working the upper body with both strikes and submissions, later on it seemed there was more focus on the arms, so I think these guys were just beating the shit out of each other? Dieter had some quickness and strength on Haskins, but in return, Haskins had reversals for most of Dieter's moves. At the end, all the work on the legs paid out after locking in the Sharpshooter for the win. Match was great, but felt shorter than I wished for and the finish was a bit out of nowhere. This was Dieter's singles debut.

Post-match - Dieter had already taken off, but he returned to meet Haskins on the ramp, took a knee and shook Haskins' hands. I have a feeling these guys are gonna go at it at SSS16.

Fans Bring The Weapons, No DQ Match
"The King of the Goths" Jimmy Havoc vs "The Aerial Assassin" Will Ospreay - 9.5/10
The ref is starting the match the with blood gloves on, so it's gonna get bloody. Nice little weird entrance for Ospreay who came out with a white tux, a gun, and killed four people, Narco execution style, the white tux makes me thing we'll have a Jimmy Jacobs style blood bath at the end. All the weapons from the fans have been stored under the ring, so far we have piñatas, cowbells, flower pots, vinyl, and someone's mom's fancy china. Jimmy accidentally 'found' Ospreays barbwire bat, the old PROGRESS Staff (Old championship) made a sudden return. After some shots with the bardwire bat on Ospreay, he reveals he's wearing kevlar underneath and this prompts a 'shitty Roman Reigns' chant. We now have a 6ft grandfather clock! FUCK! a guitar shot that didn't break, that was Honky Tonk/Roberts all over again, fuck! Yeap, Ospreay is now busted open.

As things were going far with a combination of lego and thumbtacks, Paul Robinson came out and curb stomped Havoc on to the piñata, which was later revealed to be full of thumbtacks. FUCK AGAIN! They're doing staple gun spots with thumbtacks! Havoc is a bloody mess now. Havoc does the paper cut thing on Ospreay with the vinyl record and a credit card. Essex Destroyer from the top rope through a table! These guys are trying to kill each other.

Will Ospreay grabs a phone and ups the stakes and calls this match a 'Loser Leaves Town' Match! Havoc agrees and they go full Frye/Takayama on each other! Ospreay brings out a bardwire board and the fans chanted 'Who brought that?", seriously, sick as fan that brought that. We got some great near falls towards the end of the match, kicking out of everything, barbwire all over the place. Three Barbwire Acid Rainmakers more and Will Ospreay is gone from PROGRESS Wrestling.

So far this year, we've seen Eaver vs Sebastian and Havoc vs Dunne get hardcore, this was definitely the sickest match so far this year, not as stiff as Eaver/Sebastian, but jesus. Oh, and it's not even the main event of the night!

They had to completely change the whole ring mat after that match.

PROGRESS Tag Team Championship Match
The Hunter Brothers vs British Strong Style - 7/10
Hey! It's generic tag team again! BSS are debuting the new brand new tag titles tonight, seems like PROGRESS finally gave in to their demands to proper tag championships, it be awesome if BSS would say that WWE got them made for them, but then the next team to win them should not want them. The new belts are a nice homage to the old shields. a bit boring match to follow Havoc vs Ospreay, especially at first, the brown hair Hunter was the babyface in peril and the only thing worth talking about was the BSS tags. After the hot tag the match got a lot better, great wrestling and spots, but thing worth calling home for, at no point did I think BSS were losing the titles.

PROGRESS Atlas Championship
Matt Riddle (C) vs WALTER! - 9.5/10
The other half of Ringkampf doing his single's debut. Riddle is the champion of the big lad's division and WALTER easily towers over him, the same WALTER that seems to become the stiffest knife edge chopper out there, those chops sound painful. WALTER is working Riddle's upper body while dismantling Riddler's barefoot leg at the same time; meanwhile, Riddle is just trying to survive with as many flurries as he can get in there. This was an awesome match, Riddle took the beating of a life time here, WALTER really came out looking like a killer and deserving champion.

Andrews vs Dunne Built Up Video - They're playing it off as a feud that has exploded into tons of promotions. They had footage of PWG and WWE.

PROGRESS Championship Match
Pete Dunne (C) vs Mark Andrews - 7/10
Even with the incredible amount of piledriver kickouts from the PWG match, this wasn't going any better. There were some botchy looking spots, including a piledriver that looked like it had broken Dunne's neck. At one point, there was a 'accidental' ref bump which clearly saw Andrews throw Dunne's feet to Robert's face, then we got tons of overbooking with Seven and Bate and a fake win when Andrews pinned Dunne with Dunne's legs under the ropes, they gave Andrews the title and all but ref reversed the decision and restarted the match. This is what happens when you start hanging out with WWE. What I'll accept is that the near falls after restarting the match were actually quite good.

A really great show with great matches from start to finish, but it unfortunately finished with Dunne vs Andrews and tons of overbooking. Coming in to the show I really expected Haskins vs Dieter Jr to steal the show and what can I say, two matches ended up being ever better. Definitely a show checking out for PROGRESS fans, and two matches for wrestling fans.

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