EWA Show #5: Crowning A Champion (6/20/2010)

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EWA Show #5: Crowning A Champion (6/20/2010)

Post by yourcrapsweak » Jan 23rd, '11, 18:45

SHOW #5
OWWF: CROWINING A CHAMPION
(6/20/2010)

A note to our readers- in order to get the most enjoyment out of the OWWF, it is best to read ONE LINE AT A TIME, so you don't accidentally spoil something for yourself. Also, in another tab or window, you might want to keep the OWWF roster sign up thread open for quick reference to people's characters and moves.

Enjoy- Big Red Machine, yourcrapsweak, & Earth Child

A brief video package of the World Title Tournament and the time limit draw play, and dramatically ends with the handshake Squat and Carter shared as the cameras went off last show.

A few pyro technics go off the small stage in the Asylum. The fans are on their feet chanting “OWWF!” and Carlos and Fooda welcome us.

Carlos: Ladies gentlemen, happy Father’s day, and welcome to OWWF CROWNING A CHAMPION!
Fooda: Tonight we will finally have a World Champion! No time limit, no holding out, this should be a historic night, Carlos!
Carlos: Indeed it will. Let’s not waste any time and get underway with the action! Take ‘er away, Jewel!
1. SHAWN STEVENS vs. “SURFIN” SCOTTIE ADAMS

Jewel: The following is your opening contest. It is a set for one fall to a finish with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, from Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 150 pounds… “THE FUTURE”… SHAWN…. STEEEEVENS!!

Stevens is wearing black trunks with “Future” written across the back, with black boots and knee pads. He also has some black sunglasses on. Stevens makes his way to the ring, handing out photo’s of himself to fans along the way, some get thrown back. He looks into the camera, “I’m wrestling’s past, present and future people”

Stevens slides under the bottom rope and springs to his feet. He looks towards the camera and strikes the classic double bicep pose. He slips out onto the apron in order for to give Scottie center stage for his entrance.

Jewel: And his opponent, from Malibu, California, weighing 233 pounds, "SURFIN" SCOTTIE ADAMS!

The crowd pops as Scottie's music hits. Scottie bursts onto the stage carrying his trademark surfboard. Scottie gives the fans a wave, then slams the surfboard down onto the ramp, he jumps on the board and "surfs" his way towards the ring. Scottie puts his surfboard down, and maves a slow lap around the ring, giving fans high fives and shaking their ha-SENTON BODY BLOCK OFF THE APRON BY STEVENS. 

The fans boo Stevens loudly for interrupting their moment with Scottie. Stevens just laughs as he gets up. He takes Scottie and whips him into the guardrail hard! Stevens strikes a pose, then gathers Scottie and rolls him into the ring. Stevens climbs up onto the apron and performs a slingshot elbow drop into the ring, driving his elbow into Scottie’s chest. 
Now that both men are in the ring, the ref orders the timekeeper to ring the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Stevens gives Scottie a couple of stomps, then brings him to his feet. Stevens hits a Snap Suplex, laying Scottie out near the top left corner of the ring. Stevens climbs up the turnbuckle. Moonsault!





SCOTT IE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! STEVENS CRASHES FACE FIRST! Scottie rolls Stevens over so that he is laying on his back, and quickly climbs up the turnbuckle. Tidal Wave!




Stevens rolls out of the way… Scottie rolls through, and pops back up on his feet, unharmed.

Collar-and-elbow tie-up. Stevens slips it into a headlock. Scottie shoots him off. Stevens bounces off the ropes, and comes back at Scottie. Stevens leapfrogs off of Scottie’s back, and continues on towards the opposite ropes. He bounces off those as well, but when he comes back, Scottie drops down, trying to trip him up, but Stevens jumps over him. Stevens bounces off the ropes again. Monkey Flip by Scottie. Stevens lands on his feet. He jumps, turning around in mid air with a beautiful spinning led drop. Scottie avoids it, rolling out of the way. Scottie quickly gets back to his feet, and he kicks Stevens in the face! Elbow Drop by Scottie. Stevens rolls out of the way. Elbow drop by Stevens. Scottie rolls out of the way. Somersault Senton by Scottie. Stevens avoids it. Stevens grabs Scottie’s legs and stacks him up for a pin:

ONE!

TWO!



THR-NO!
Stevens pushes on the back of Scottie’s neck and pushes against Scottie’s arms with his legs, flipping him forward into a rana pin.

ONE!


TWO!



THR-NO!
Stevens rolls forwards, so he is now sitting on Scottie’s head, and is holding Scottie’s legs down with his arms.

ONE!


TWO!



THRE-NO! 
Scottie just manages to get his shoulder up, but Stevens still has a hold of his legs, and transitions into a Boston Crab. Scottie struggles in the hold for about 10 seconds, and the crowd starts a slow clap. Scottie crawls forward, reaching for the rope on the side of the ring closest to the hard camera, but Stevens pulls him back to the center, and locks the hold in even tighter. The crowd starts chanting {PLEASE DON’T TAP! PLEASE DON’T TAP!}, and feeding off of the crowd, Scottie summons up the strength to crawl to ropes for the rope break.

Stevens breaks the hold, but then turns around and starts stomping away at Scottie. Scottie rolls to the outside to recover.

{1}
Stevens follows Scottie out, and starts wailing on him at ringside
{1}
{2}
{3}
Snap Suplex on the floor by Stevens!
{4}
He picks Scottie up, and rolls him back into the ring. Stevens climbs the top turnbuckle. FROG SPLASH….





SCOTTIE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Both men are down in the ring, and the ref starts a double count.
{1}
{2}
{3}
Both men are up to their knees
{4}
{5}
They are both back on their feet.

Scottie grabs Stevens in a waist lock. Standing switch. Scottie switches it right back. German Suplex by Scottie. Stevens lands on his feet. Dropkick to back by Stevens, sending Scottie bumping into the turnbuckle. Back Suplex by Stevens. Scottie lands on his feet. 

SHARK IN THE WATER! Scottie locks in an ankle lock, but Stevens quickly scampers to the bottom rope, forcing the clean break. Stevens gets back up and charges at Scottie. Spinning Wheel Kick by Stevens. Scottie ducks it, but Stevens gracefully rolls through it and pops back up on his feet behind Scottie. Scottie turns around to face Stevens, but gets blasted with an Enzugiri. Stevens hits a Twist of F- SCOTTIE PUSHES HIM AWAY. Stevens bounces off the ropes, and comes back at Scottie. SURFS UP!

Scottie is in control of the match now. He starts a slow clap with the crowd, then walks over the ropes. He climbs out onto the apron, then leaps up onto the top ropes, and balances there, with one foot in front of the other. Scottie then pretends to “surf” on the ropes, them leaps off, hitting Stevens with a Springboard Leg Drop. Scottie goes doe the cover:

ONE!




TWO!






THR-NO! 
Stevens kicks out! Scottie shrugs at the crowd, with a look on his face that says “oh well.” Scottie then rolls Stevens over onto his stomach, and stands on his back. Scottie then pretends to surf on Stevens back, before jumping up for a double knee drop. STEVENS ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! BUT SCOTTIE MANAGES TO GET HIS FEET DOWN, and lands on them, rather than his knees. Stevens is now laying on his back in front of Scottie. Somersault Senton by Scottie. Exodus rolls backwards, avoiding the move, and winding up right where he was before. Scottie manages to roll through the Somersault Senton, though, and gets back up to his feet. He points at Stevens and shouts “STAY STILL!” Scottie turns around and goes for a double stomp on Stevens. Stevens rolls backwards again! But Scottie lands on his feet and immediately flips backwards into a standing Moonsualt, finally connecting. Scottie says, “Finally,” then rolls Stevens over onto his stomach again. Scottie once again stands on Stevens back and starts to surf, but cathes sight of Exodus Licarne, who comes out onto the entrance ramp. Scotty leaves Stevens, and walks over towards the ropes. He waves to Exodus, and shouts “Come on down! Take a ringside seat, buddy!”
Exodus doesn’t respond. He just stands there, arms at his sides.
“Dude! Come on!” Scottie says.
Again, Exodus doesn’t respond. His arms are still at his sides, but he stats clenching and unclenching his fists.
“What’s wrong?” Scottie shouts to him. “Come on! We’ll go out and party together after the show. It will be totally gnarly dude! Trust me. You’ll have a g- PARADOX BY STEVENS!!! The cover:

ONE!





TWO!







THREE!

Jewel: Here is your winner, at a time of 12 minutes and 19 seconds. … “THE FUTURE” SHAWN STEVENS!

Fooda: Scottie got distracted by the presence of Exodus Licairne, and Shawn Stevens managed to capitalize on it!
Carlos: Socttie’s got to learn to keep his eye on the ball!

Stevens celebrates the whole way up the ramp. By the time he makes it to the top, Exodus has left, but OWWF interviewer Lucy Lee has come out.
Lucy: Shawn Stevens, do you have any comments you’d like to make after picking up your first OWWF win?
Stevens: This, ladies and gentlemen, is just the beginning. You will be seeing some VERY big things... in The Future.

Stevens walks backstage, and by this time, Scottie is rising to his feet, rubbing his head. He walks backstage in a hurry, brushing Lucy off as she asks him for an interview
2. ROYAL APPOINTMENTS SQUASH & PROMO

Jewel: The next contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall to a finish with a ten minute time limit.

Jewel: Introducing first, from Miami, Florida… at a combined weight of 420 pounds… Jimmy and Johnny… the VALDEZ BROTHERS!.

A cheer is heard as The Valdez's are announced to the crowd.

Carlos: The Valdez Brothers have some wrestling pedigree. Both started training to become wrestlers aged 15 and 16. Their dad was "Vicious" Valdez and made his name in Mexico. They then came to the OWWF Training Camp to sharpen their skills. 

Music hits and a mixed reaction is heard.

Jewel: And their opponents. Accompanied to the ring by their butler Jenkins, from Windsor ENGLAND… At a combined weight of 520 pounds Sir Robert Royce and Lord Richard Bentley, THE ROYAL APPOINTMENTS!. 

Carlos: Is that a Butler??

Jenkins leads Royce and Bentley to the ring. Both men carrying and waving Union Jack flags. The crowd goes from a mixed reaction to boo's. Fans hold out their hands for the tag team but these are simply pushed away by an umbrella which is being used by Jenkins.
Jenkins holds the middle rope so both Royce and Bentley can enter the ring. 

A chant of "You Suck!!!" echoes throughout the arena.

The Brits don’t wait for the bell and already starting beating on The Valdez Brothers. Both Brits still wearing the gowns the came to the ring in lay punch after punch to the craniums of the Valdez Brothers.

Royce throws Johnny to the outside. Bentley whips Jimmy into the corner. The Brits then proceed on punching and kicking him in the corner. The Brits then mange to take of their gowns. Jimmy gets Irish whipped into the ropes as the Brits go for a double clothesline but Jimmy ducks and rolls into the corner and tags in his brother.

The ref finally gets Bentley out of the ring. Collar-and-elbow tie-up from Johnny on Royce. Johnny puts him in a headlock but Royce manages to free himself when he Irish whips him into the ropes. Bentley kicks him in the back as hits the ropes and Royce hits Johnny with a snapmare. A loud kick to the spine is followed which echoes throughout the arena. 

Fooda: THAT had to hurt!!!!

A tag from Royce brings in Bentley. Who picks up Johnny and powerslams him back first into the canvas. He goes over to the Valdez corner and taunts Jimmy. Jimmy tries to enter the ring but is pushed back by the ref.

Bentley signals to Royce to enter the ring and both Brits kick and punch Johnny to the head and body. Royce climbs back onto the apron just as the ref turns round.

Carlos: See there’s the experience right there. Jimmy has fallen for the oldest trick in the book. He got hot headed, tried to enter the ring and then when the ref had his back turned it gave the Brits the chance to stick the boots in. 

Bentley picks up Johnny and applies an abdominal stretch to him. The ref checks to see if he submits and Bentley sticks out an arm. Royce grabs Bentley's arm and pressure is applied to the hold. They let go and the ref comes round to check. 

They do it again. 

Bentley: "Watch him ref, Watch Him" as Bentley points to Jimmy. 

The ref goes over to Jimmy who protests about what the ref isn’t seeing. Johnny hip tosses Bentley but then gets pulled back down to the mat by his hair by Royce. 

Bentley rolls out of the ring and Royce enters. He does a loud clap to insinuate a tag. The ref turns round, looks confused but seems to be allowing the tag.

Carlos: What??? The ref didn’t see the tag how can he let that be a legal tag???
Fooda: He doesn’t need to see it. He heard it.
Carlos: No!!! What he heard was Royce tagging himself.
Fooda: The ref doesn’t know that!!!

Royce hits a piledriver on Johnny and signals to Bentley to go to the tope ropes.

Royce Irish whips Johnny onto the opposite ropes to where Bentley is. He catches Johnny in mid air. Bentley jumps from the top ropes and super kicks Johnny to the face as Royce hits a spinebuster.

Carlos: Oh My God!!! What a sick move!!!
Fooda: That guy got beheaded in mid air!!!

Bentley runs over and punches Jimmy off the apron and Royce goes for the pin.

ONE

TWO 

THREE!


Jewel: The winners of the match by pinfall, at 5 minutes and 20 seconds, Lord Richard Bentley, Sir Robert Royce. THE ROYAL APPOINTMENTS!

Jenkins raises the Brits hand in victory. Both men turn to see Jimmy aiding his brother. They start kicking and punching him. Bentley picks up Jimmy, kicks him in the stomach and hits a spiked piledriver onto the mat.

Carlos: Well there’s your winners right there. 
Fooda: Message to the guys in the back. The Royal Appointments have arrived and they mean business.

Jenkins gives Royce and Bentley their flags and they head to the back.

A chant of "Go Back To England, Go Back" "Go Back To England, Go Back" is heard from the OWWF faithful.
3. CHRIS EVERLAST vs. RODRIGO MACHADO

Jewel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit.

Music hits and the fans know to boo. Everlast emerges from the curtain, each arm holding a beautiful woman.

Jewel: From Miami, Florida, weighing in at two hundred and two hundred and twenty-one pounds, CHRIS EVERLAST!

Everlast leaves his lady-friends at ringside and slides under the ropes. The music changes and so does the crowd’s reaction!

Jewel: And his opponent, from Minas Gerais, Brazil, weighing two hundred and forty pounds, “The Brazilian Warrior,” RODRIGO MACHADO!

Machado slaps hands with some fans as he walks to the ring and looks just happy to be there. He hops on the apron and enters the ring and wipes his boots.

DING DING DING!

Machado and Everlast circle the ring, eyeing each other off.

Carlos: These guys have been having problems for a while now; let’s hope they can settle some differences tonight.

Everlast stops and raises his hand in a test of strength position. Machado isn’t sure if he should trust him or not. He turns to the crowd who are cheering him on. Machado faces Everlast again who has a straight face on. Machado raises his right hand to lock up with Everlast’s left, and then raises his left to match up with Everlast’s right. They immediately apply pressure to each other with Everlast getting the early advantage. Machado gets down to one knee as Everlast gets cocky, showing off to his new valet. Machado capitalizes on the distracted Everlast but getting back to two feet and applying more pressure on him. Machado brings his knee to Everlast’s gut, breaking the test of strength. Machado goes for a collar and elbow tie up, pushing Everlast into the turnbuckle. The referee comes in and breaks the hold by getting in between the two. Machado backs off slightly only to be kicked in the gut. Everlast grabs his head and goes for a standing tornado DDT. Machado is prepared and pushes him off, forcing him to land on his butt. Machado drop-kicks him in the back of the head. He picks up Everlast’s body and European uppercuts his jaw before Irish whipping him in to the turnbuckle. Machado goes over and sets up for a superplex and executes it to perfection. However it took almost as much out of Machado than it does Everlast. Machado rolls over and hooks the leg for a pin.

ONE

TWO – Kick out!

Both take their time getting to their feet but Everlast beats Machado. He round house kicks him in the back of his knee forcing him down. Everlast runs to the rope for momentum and come back, drop-kicking him in the chest. He goes for a pin.

ONE

T – Kick out!

Carlos: He’s going to need more to put Machado away!

Everlast picks up Machado again but gets and elbow to the gut, and another one, and another one. Machado lifts Everlast and body slams him near a corner. He climbs the ropes, signals to crowd and goes for the flying elbow. Another pin attempt.

ONE

TWO – Kick out!

Machado picks himself up and Everlast. He Irish whips him against the ropes and when he comes back Machado catches him and lifts him in a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker. Yet another pin attempt from Machado.

ONE

TWO – Kick out!

Machado starts to lose his cool but remains focused. He once again picks Everlast up and goes for another Irish whip but is reversed and sent to the ropes. On his way back he is meet by a discus elbow from Everlast. Machado goes to one knee but Everlast brings him back up and sets up for a suplex. Machado is flung back and hits the mat hard from the snap suplex. Machado nurses his back as Everlast climbs the turnbuckle and waits for him to be in the line of fire. He leaps off and hits the flying cross body, but the momentum is too much and Machado rolls on top with Everlast’s shoulders on the mat. Small package pin attempt!

ONE

TWO

TH – Kick out!

Everlast squirms out and moves away. He is clearly shocked about what just happened. Machado gets to his feet and Everlast runs behind him, grabs his waist and lifts him in a German suplex. Everlast again goes to the top rope and hits Machado with a hurricarana just as he gets to his feet. Instead of going for the pin he signals to the crowd and points to his valet and can be heard yelling “It’s time to leave an everlasting impression!” He picks up Machado and sets up for the Everlasting Impression in the corner. But Machado pushes him away hard. Everlast runs back but Machado gets out of the way, forcing him to ram into the turnbuckles. Machado takes a second to catch his breath but Everlast is already coming for him again. Machado catches him and slams him to the mat with the Samba Drop. He hooks the leg for a pin.

ONE

TWO

TH – Kick out!

Machado decides pins haven’t been working so he goes for the Anaconda Vise. He has him locked in the wise as Everlast yells in pain. The referee asks him if he wants to submit. He screams “NO!” Everlast swings his lower body around and inches toward the rope, getting his foot on the rope. The referee gets Machado to break the hold.
Machado takes some steps away and takes a breather. Everlast is slowly getting to his feet and when he notices Machado has he back turned to him he gets up fully and runs to him. Machado turns around and is met by a hard clothesline. Everlast picks up Machado’s legs and with out bothering to signal to the crowd he locks in the Dragontamer. Now it’s Machado’s turn to scream in pain. He inches toward to ropes, clawing at the mat to make ground.

Carlos: All that pressure is being applied to his lower back. How much longer can he last?

Machado is fingertips away from the bottom rope. Just when he looks like he is about to make it, Everlast pulls him back to the centre of the ring. The referee asks him if he wants to submit. Machado hold on for a seconds more but then can’t anymore and taps out!

DING DING DING DING DING!

Jewel: In thirteen minutes and forty-four seconds (13:44), here is your winner by submission, CHRIS EVERLAST!

Everlast relinquishes the hold and looks at his beaten opponent, holding his back. He gives him a kick to the back but the ref pushes him away and he exits the ring with his lady-friends.

Eventually, Rodrigo humbly refuses help and walks out to applause.
4. TANAKASHI SHUPIRO (w/ King Kang) vs. KEV CARNAGE

Jewel: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... KING KANG and TANKASHI SHUPIRO!

The music hits and the two proud Japs walk out, Shupiro in his traditional wrestling tights and jacket, and Kang in a tailor-made suit, looking like a Japanese mobster. They walks to the ring amongst strong boo's. Kang takes Jewel's mic and shoos her away.

Kang waits for a moment for the fans to calm down, but it never occurs.

Kang: SHUTUP!

The fans sing {GO BACK TO JAPAAAAAAN! GO BACK TO JAPAAAAAAN!}

Kang: Such disruhspeh for such Japanese regend! You American's have NO respeh! {He pauses} You peepoh have NO CRUE of whah real wresring is! You American "wresring" fans are morons!

{F*CK YOU KANG! F*CK YOU KANG!}

Kang: Shupiro has not been booked for show in monts! Why? Huh? Becah you American morons have absorutery no respeh for a real afrete like Shupiro. Last show, you have what, No Disqualification match? That no wresring! You use yoh tumtacks and yoh bahb wiyuh, what the hell is that? That no wresring you idiot! (Points to someone in the audience) YOU SHUT YOU MOUF WHILE I TALK! Now RISTEN! ALL YOU! Shupiro...! {He pauses because the crowd is hotter than ever} SHUPIRO IS TIRED OF YOU SH*T! YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, YOU SHUT YOU MOUF WHEN KING KANG TALK! You all bwainwash by peepoh like Khali in the back who book this cwap! This no wresring! This is street fight. And you American wresring fans embwace it! You, Kev Carnage, Shupiro face you tonight, he show you how real wresring is suppose to go! He show you how you no wresruh, you street garbage, and he wresuh you ass right back to street, where -

THE CROWD POPS WHEN KEV'S MUSIC CUTS KANG OFF!

Carnage appears through the curtain and looks quite pissed off.

Carlos: By the look on his face, Carnage looks like he's had enough!
Fooda: And by the sound of this crowd, they've heard enough as well!

Shupiro attacks Carnage on the apron and the bell sounds!

DING DING DING!

Kang stays in the ring while Carnage is forearmed on the apron, cheering on his client and cursing his opponent. Carnage finally gets a bowling ball-like right hand that knocks Shupiro loopy, and he gets in the ring. He hurries right past Shupiro and grabs Kang by the shirt! Kang almost wets his beige pants but Shupiro gets a stiff kick to the back and he relinquishes his grip. Kang rolls out of the ring and runs like he'd just seen a ghost.

Back in the ring, Shupiro has Carnage on one knee with kicks. He kicks him one more time in the chest and he's on two knees now. Shupiro runs to the ropes, runs back, hooks on a headscissors, hurricanrana, but Carnage was on his knees and his head is DRILLED into the mat! The fans all groan and Shupiro goes for a cover!

ONE...



TWO...



NO! Carnage gets a shoulder up. Shupiro gets off him and Carnage is clutching the top of his head.

Shupiro locks on a headlock gets Carnage on his butt. He twists the head and the jaw, then smoothly transitions it into a cross armbar. After a few seconds, Shupiro again transitions the armbar into a wrist lock, then gets it into a hammerlock behind his back, successfully getting Carnage on his stomach. He jams the knee into the back, burying it and also keeping the arm in place. He then pulls his chin back into a modified camel clutch and Carnage is really hurting!

Fooda: Look at him! He's mat wrestling him, he's showing him who the superior wrestler truly is! He owns this ring, Carlos!

After considerable time, Carnage is able to spin his large body around and escape the hold. Shupiro immediately goes for a sleeper hold. Carnage is flailing his arms, but manages to grab Shupiro's leg, and stands up with him on his back! The crowd pops, and explodes when he runs backward and rams Shupiro into the turnbuckle! Shupiro holds his back in pain while Carnage viciously comes back with a boot to the face that knocks him silly. Carnage sits Shupiro atop the turnbuckle and connects with a right hand, but Shupiro retaliates with one of his own. Again, he hits a right, but Shupiro kicks him away. Carnage comes back but Shupiro slaps Carnage! Carnage is turned around by the slap, and Shupiro from the middle rope hooks in a full nelson!

Carlos: We've seen this before! He's six foot eight, he's three hundred pounds!

TOKYO COLONOSCOPY! Carnage is bouncing around the ring in absolute pain! Cover!

ONE...



TWO...



NO!

Shurpiro kicks Carnage as he's trying to get up, but then backs off into the corner, waiting. As he gets to his feet, he runs and goes for a cutter, but Carnage simply throws him off and Shupiro goes flying, then slides under the ropes. Kang is waiting for him on the outside and pats him on the back much to the crowd's discontent. Carnage simply charges and kicks Shupiro in the back of the head from inside the ring!

Kang cowards away as Carnage flips over the ropes to the floor and the ref truly begins a count. {1!} Shupiro is on one knee and Carnage pounds on him. {2!} Carnage picks him up between his legs and pauses for a positive crowd reaction.

Fooda: Not on the concrete! Kang was right! Carnage is a street fighter and a coward, having to fight on the floor!

Carnage points at Kang across the ring, picks Shupiro up AND POWERBOMBS HIM ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

The ref is at 5 and Shupiro is pulling himself up with aid from the ring apron. Carnage seems to enjoy watching him squirm. He throws Shupiro in the ring and slowly climbs the apron, then enters.

Carnage smiles as he picks up Shupiro, who has an obvious look of pain on his face. He whips him across the ring and he boots him in the face, without even walking, he simply puts his foot up. Shupiro is laid out.

Carlos: This is not going to be pretty...

He pulls Shupiro to his feet by his hair and bends him over. Carnage grabs around his waist, picks him up over his shoulder, and hits a Dominator! He pulls Shupiro towards him and goes for a cover!

ONE...



TWO...



THR - NO! Shupiro gets the shoulder up.

Carnage is still calm and collected even after the kickout. He again pulls him up by the hair and whips him into the corner nearest to Kang. He goes across the ring, looks at him, and charges at Shupiro, squashing him in the corner! Carnage gives him an uppercut for good measure and Shupiro falls on his but in the corner. Carnage then puts his boot in his face, looks at the crowd, then at Kang below, and scrapes his boot on Shupiro's face! And then another boot scrape!

Kang is yelling at Shupiro in their native tongue, and Shupiro seems to shake off some cobwebs. He pulls himself up and rubs his nose. Carnage charges him again but he gets a forearm up that buys him some time. He jumps to the middle rope, lunges at Carnage, Tornado DDT! But Carnage somewhat blocks it and Shupiro lands on his feet with Carnage's head. He knees him and hooks the leg, and Fisherman Suplexes the big man over, with a bridge!

ONE...



TWO...




NO! Carnage frees himself.

Carnage is a little slower to get to his feet and pays for it with a kick to the chest. Shupiro wrings the arm but Carnage powers out of it and reverses with one of his own. Shupiro cartwheels, cartwheels again, then cartwheels one more time, this time catching Carnage's head between his legs and throws him over. They both get up immediately and they charge at each other, but a shoulder block from both doesn't favor the 5'11" Shupiro. He flies backward, and when he gets up, Carnage charges and misses an attempted Clothesline From Hell. He keeps running and comes back, NOTTINGHAM DESTROYER OUT OF NOWHERE! COVER!!

ONE...




TWO...






{TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!} Shupiro somehow kicks out! Carnage can't believe it!

Carnage gets up and thinks for a minute with Shupiro laid out in the center of the ring. He looks around, then goes to the ring apron. He slowly begins to ascend the turnbuckle!

Carlos: Oh God, you don't think...
Fooda: This should be interesting, Carlos! Very interesting!
Carlos: This can't end well!

Kang is hysterically yelling at Shupiro in Japanese. Carnage has one leg on the top turnbuckle and the other on the second. He plays the crowd by teasing an elbow drop. However, he doesn't see Shupiro getting to his feet! He's crouching on the top rope when Shupiro forearms him and he is reduced to sitting on the top turnbuckle. Shupiro quickly wraps Carnage's arm around his own neck and pulls him onto his back!

Carlos: That's about 300 pounds! Look at the strength of Tanakashi Shupiro!

Shupiro walks to the center of the ring with the giant on his back... SAMURAI DROP! CARNAGE IS FOLDED ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! COVER!

ONE...



TWO...




THREE!


DING DING DING!

Jewel: Twelve minutes, twenty-three seconds, here is your winner... TANAKASHI SHUPIRO!

Kang enters the ring and raises Shupiro's hand in victory, very proud. Kang asks, or demands rather, a microphone.

Kang (on his knees, in Carnage's face): DON'T YOU EVER TINK YOU BETTAH THAN TANAKASHI SHUPIRO! NONE OF YOU! HE NO LIKE YOU! HE NO LIKE YOU AMERICANS, OR YOU STREET FIGHTAHS! You piece of cwap, just goes to show, we bettah than whole world! We beat British wresruh in American ring. And you know Shupiro is wresring royary!

He throws the mic on the mat and they walk backstage, rather triumphantly.

Carnage eventually walks out the way he came - rather pissed off.

5. POWER & PAIN vs. COREY ROSE & RAY HOFFMAN

Jewel: The following contest is a tag team match, and is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, at a combined weight of 545 pounds... Chris Calaway and “Mean” Mark Roberts… POWER & PAIN!
Calaway and Roberts come down the ramp, and get into the ring. They high five, then respectfully roll to the outside of the ring to give their opponents time to be the center of attention for their entrance.
Jewel: And their opponents… Introducing first, from Augusta, Maine, weighing 187 pounds, “THE HIGHLIGHT REEL EXTRAORDINAIRE”, RAY HOFFMAN!

Hoffman jokes and laughs with a few fans on the way to the ring.

Jewel: And his tag team partner, from Los Angeles California, weighing in at 239 pounds… COREY ROSE!

Rose runs down to the ring, wearing tattered jeans, a t-shirt, and a denim jacket. He carries his 59's Les Paul-guitar to the ring with him, slapping fans hands as he goes.
He climbs up the steps and into the ring, and plays the last few chords of his entrance music on his guitar, in sync with the speakers. He puts down the guitar and takes off his jacket, handing them to a ringside attendant.
He high fives Hoffman, while Power & pain climb back into the ring.
Both teams have brief discussion about who is to start the match. Chris Calaway looks to be starting for Power and Pain. Corey Rose and Ray Hoffman have a slight argument but it looks like Hoffman will be starting.

DING! DING! DING!
They circle the ring eying each other off. Calaway tries to go for the knee to take down Hoffman but he moves out of the way. The second time he goes for the upper body but Hoffman moves out of the way again. The third time Calaway goes for a spear takedown and pounds Hoffman in the head with serious punches. He gets up, bringing Hoffman with him, and he hooks him up for northern lights suplex. Hoffman reverses it, and kicks Calaway in the gut, doubling him over. He sets him up for a DDT, but Calaway reverses it and hits Hoffman with a sambo suplex. He doesn’t let Hoffman get a chance to breathe and goes for a grounded side head lock. He slowly brings Hoffman up with the lock still in place, and swiftly moves behind him, transitionin from the side head lock to set up for a German suplex. German Suplex by Calaway. But one isn’t enough. He keeps Hoffman locked, stands up, and hits a second German. Then a third, which he bridges into a pin:

ONE

TW – Kick out!!

Calaway goes for another ground submission, this time a front face lock. But Hoffman hasn’t taken too much damage so he gets to a vertical base rather quickly and elbows Calaway in the gut a few times to get him to release the hold. Once Calaway does Hoffman runs to the ropes and comes back with a swinging neck breaker. Hoffman goes over for a tag and in comes Corey Rose.

Corey gets to Calaway just as he is on his feet and starts knife edge chopping his chest. Calaway hits him back with his own chop. Rose answers with yet another one, and another one. Calaway goes for a collar and elbow tie up but Rose gets the advantage and goes for a snap suplex. Rose goes up to the top rope and waits for Calaway to be in the right position. Once he is on his feet Rose goes for a hurricanrana. But Calaway doesn’t go down and takes over the advantage. He catches rose and lifts him up into a power bomb, slamming him down on the mat. He gets himself over to Roberts who is eager to get into the match. A tag is made and Roberts goes straight for Rose. Rose is already running toward him but Roberts catches him and lifts him into a scoop power slam. Rose nurses his back as Roberts runs to the ropes for momentum and comes back with a running boot to the face on Rose. He picks up Rose and lifts him up and whips him into the ropes as he comes back Roberts lifts him up into an electric chair. Rose fights back pounding him in toe head trying to get down. Roberts gets stunned and drops him. Rose scrambles to his corner and tags in Hoffman. But Roberts has already recovered and catches Hoffman just as he gets in the ring. He pushes him in to the corner but that’s a mistake because Rose is there and kicks him in the back from the outside. The Referee comes over and warns Rose about the out side interference. This gives Hoffman a chance to reverse Roberts and throw him in the corner. He shoulder blocks Roberts in the gut several times. And Roberts stumbles out of the corner Hoffman jumps out onto the apron and springboards off the top rope catching Roberts in a tornado DDT. He goes for a pin.

ONE

TWO – Kick out!

Hoffman goes to tag Rose who immediately jumps to the top rope. He leaps off and hits Roberts with Senton Bomb. He goes for a pin.

ONE

TWO – Kick out!!

They know they are weakening Roberts so Rose goes for the Der Metzgermeister. He jumps to the top rope yet again but as he sails off, Roberts rolls out of the way!! Rose nurses his elbow as Roberts continues to roll toward Calaway for a tag. Calaway comes in and clotheslines Rose as he gets up. Rose stands up again but gets knocked down with another clothesline. The third time Rose gets up, Calaway catches him and half nelson suplex. He picks him up and hooks him up in a brain-buster; he powers him down with a sickening thud. He drags over Rose to his corner and tags back in Roberts. They set up and hit the Chi-Town Cutter. Roberts pins Rose.

ONE

TWO

THR – Hoffman breaks up the pin.

Calaway comes in and clotheslines Hoffman out of the ring. The both go out but land on their feet. They begin to exchange punches to each other as inside the ring Roberts and Rose continue their battle. Roberts knocks Rose to the ground and applies The Rack to him. Rose screams in pain.

On the out side Hoffman whips Calaway into the railing with a hard Irish whip. He jumps up to the apron then on the top rope he points to Roberts who lets Rose out of The Rack. Hoffman leaps off the top rope and hits him with the Trip-Out. Rose, Roberts, and Hoffman lay on the ground, nursing their various pains. Rose rolls over and lays an arm over Roberts in a pin attempt.

ONE

TWO

THR – Kick out!!!!!
Calaway comes back into the ring and throws Hoffman out of the ring. Roberts is collecting himself off the mat and Calaway signals to him for something. Roberts nods his head and climbs to the top rope. Calaway lifts Rose into a double under hook back breaker and slams him down on the mat. Roberts soars off the top rope and hits a flying leg drop.

Fooda: The Power and Pain Express executed to perfection!!!

Roberts hooks the leg for a pin

ONE

TWO

THREE


Jewel: Here are your winners- in a time of 10 minutes and 2 seconds- Chris Calaway, Mean Mark Roberts – POWER & PAIN!!!!!
6. JIMMY CARNIVAL vs. SCOTT LOGAN

Jewel: this next match is scheduled for one fall, and has a 20 minute time limit.

Making his way to the ring, hailing from Brooklyn, New York, Scott Logan!

And his opponent, weighing in at 250lbs, he hails from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 'Mr Pro Wrestling' himself, Jimmy Carnival!

The two men are standing opposite sides of the ring, warming up as the referee looks and checks if they are ready, he calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Carlos:This one looks intense Fooda
Fooda: You got that right Carlos.

The pair meet in the middle of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. They tussle for a moment before breaking. They go in again, this time Carnival locks Logan in a side headlock and rolls around the back into a hammerlock. He pushes Logan into the ropes and connects with a stiff forearm on the rebound. Carnival drops the elbow onto Logan's chest as he gasps for air.

Fooda: What and elbow drop the by Jimmy Carnival
Carlos: I would fancy too many of those!

Carnival raises Logan to his feet. Logan fights back with a series of shots to the stomach. Goes for a kick to the stomach but is caught by Carnival. He spins him out but Logan connects with a spinning Clothesline. Logan lays into Carnival with harsh stomps on the ground. Logan drops a forearm onto the head of Carnival.

Carlos: The crowd is really getting behind Logan here Fooda.
Fooda: Yeah this crowd is pumped up and ready for anything!

Logan plays to the crowd as Jimmy Carnival stands up behind him. Stiff chops to the chest by Carnival as Logan turns around. Knee to the stomach by Carnival, and he grabs him, BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! That had impact!

He crawls for the cover:

ONE




TWO



NO!


Kick out at 2. Carnival can't believe it.

He stands and exits onto the ring apron. He waits for Logan to stand and... Springboard Clothesline connects! Logan looks dazed. Carnival runs into the ropes but Logan counters on the rebound with a drop toe hold.

Carlos: I think the crowd knows whats coming here!

He bounces into the ropes and goes for The Blackout.... DUCKED. As Logan turns Carnival connects with a super kick!

Carnival points to his head showing the crowd that he feels he has superior intelligance to Logan.

He grabs Logan in an Armbar and raises him from the ground, then pushes him to the corner. He wraps Logan's arm around the ropes and pulls tightly. The Referee is counting...

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

He released the hold. As Carnival is arguing with the referee, Logan runs at him and connects with a running knee. Carnival goes down like a shot. Logan tries to seize the opportunity and attempts the Brooklyn Cloverleaf but Carnival grabs his arm, roll through, RUSSIAN ARMBAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Carlos: Great technical wrestling by Carnival!

Logan's face is red with pain, his is screaming with agony!!!!!!! He is desperately reaching for the ropes.... he can't take it.

HE TAPS OUT.

DING DING DING!

Jewel: Your winner, by way of submission, Mr. Pro Wrestling, Jimmy Carnival!

A chorus of boos echo around the arena as Carnivals hand is raised high. He grabs the microphone from Jewel.

Carnival: See that? THAT, is wrestling, ladies and gentlemen. THAT, is how real wrestlers do it. That is wrestling. After destroying Scott Logan, I think I've earned the opportunity to face that moron "Surfin" Scottie Adams. So I am now asking, no, DEMANDING, a match with Scottie Adams. You got lucky last time you beat me Scottie, and this time, you won't be so lucky, in fact, you'll be leaving on a stretcher. And once I'm through with him, I'm done wrestling these jokers, clowns and crazies. No more will I square off with Scottie, those Disneyland lunatics and the glorified emo kid Reaper. Your time's coming Scottie. Tick tock tick tock.

Todd Trepain: Get it? Got it? Good!

Jimmy Carnival: Au Revoir.


He drops the mic to the floor and exits the ring as the crowd boo him loudly.

7. TIEN TROPIQUER SQUASH

Jewel: The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 223 pounds… JERRY JONES!

Jones, a man of average height with short black hair, wearing generic black wrestling tights, comes down to the ring.

Fooda: Well Carlos, now we have the second of our two debuts tonight: Tien Triopiquer
Carlos: Let’s see I he can do as well as the Royal Appointments did earlier tonight.

Jewel: And his opponent… from El Paso, Texas, weighing in at 515 pounds-
Fooda: Whoa!
Jewel- TIEN TRIOPIQUER!
A HUGE towering man comes out onto the stage.
Carlos: Whoa, indeed.

Tien Triopiquer stands seven and a half feet tall, and over 500 pounds of muscle. He is clean shaven, and has long black hair. He walks down to the ring, and the ref signals for the bell to be rung:
DING! DING! DING!
To his credit, Jones is not intimidated by his opponent’s size. He charges right at him and throws a few punches, but they barely seem to affect Triopiquer, who then throws a huge clothesline which nearly takes Jones’ head off. Triopiquer then hits a Jones with a big Leg Drop.
Jones gets up, still a little dazed, and starts to run towards Triopiquer, but Triopiquer runs forwards and spears him hard, sending Jones rolling out of the ring.
{KILL THE JOBBER! *clap* clap* clap* clap* clap* KILL THE JOBBER! *clap* clap* clap* clap* clap*}
The ref starts to count the count-out on Jones, who is laying on the floor, clutching his ribs in pain.
{1}
{2}
{3}
{4}
{5}
{6}
{7}
{8}
{9}
{10}
{11}
{12}
Jones is up to his knees, now
Jones takes his time recovering on the outside, ignoring the crowd, who are still chanting {KILL THE JOBBER! *clap* clap* clap* clap* clap}
{13}
{14}
{15}
{16}
Jones gets a determined look on his face
{17}
He starts towards the ring
{18}
He climbs up onto the apron, and then jumps off of the top rope for a SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRA- TRIOPIQUER CATCHES HIM! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!
Triopiquer now picks Jones up and whips him into the corner, the follows him in with a huge spear in the corner. Triopiquer grabs Jones, and climbs up to the top rope. He sets him up in Tombstone position and jumps off the top turnbuckle, hitting Jones with the TienTizer! Lazy cover by Triopiquer:

ONE!

TWO!


THREE!

Jewel: Your winner, at a time of two minutes and seven seconds (2:07)… TIEN TRIOPIQUER!

Triopiquer heads backstage, while Carlos and Fooda sit there in stunned silence. Finally, once Triopiquer has gone backstage, Carlos breaks the silence
Carlos: I think it’s safe to say that we will be seeing more of Tien Triopiquer in the future.
8. THE ATOMIC PUNKS vs. EXODUS LICAIRNE & SHADOW

Jewel: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, from The Bronx, New York, being accompanied to the ring by Kitten, and weighing in at a combined weight of 428 pounds… Cowboy and Ajax… THE ATOMIC PUNKS! 

The Atomic Punks make their way to the ring, receiving a huge pop!

Jewel: And their opponents… weighing in at 235 pounds…from the Shadows and Darkness... EXODUS LICARINE! 
The lights dim, and no music plays as Exodus walks to the ring, his face showing no emotion whatsoever

Carlos: Exodus is as stoic as always. 
Fooda: Yeah. I can’t say I have a good feeling about his team’s chances to win here tonight. In his last tag team match, back at Hangover, he refused to even acknowledge his partner, “Surfin’” Scottie Adams, much less try and help Scottie at all.
Carlos: Well, that will be Shadow’s problem tonight. But speaking of Scottie and Exodus, what is up with Exodus showing up on the ramp for Scottie’s matches? Tonight it actually cost Scottie a victory.
Fooda: I don’t know, Carlos, but that is sure a question that I would like to hear the answer to.

Jewel: And his tag team partner, weighing in at 248 pounds… from your childhood nightmares… the Original Psycho… SHADOW!

Shadow walks down to the ring, and looks very pleased with himself for helping to arrange this match up.

Shadow starts the match for his team. The Punks have already decided that it will be Ajax starting for them. Exodus and Ajax walk into the center of the ring.
DING! DING! DING!
They begin to trash talk each other and stare each other down. Shadow shoves Ajax- not enough to knock him down but just to but him off balance. Ajax steps back into line with Shadow to receive another shove, just a bit harder this time. Ajax tries to keep his cool as Shadow has a dark, smug smile on his face. Ajax comes back with a shove of his own, just enough to put him off balance and step back. Shadow is taken aback and hits Ajax with another shove. Ajax has had enough shoving and locks in a collar and elbow tie up. He pushes Shadow into a corner and then maneuvers him into a side head lock. Ajax gets a run up and executes a bulldog. Shadow gets up just after Ajax does, and pushes him in into is team’s corner. He locks Ajax in a wristlock, and wrenches his arm. Exodus tags himself in, and goes to the top turnbuckle. Exodus jumps off the top rope, and comes down with a double axe handle onto Ajax’s arm, which Shadow was still stretching.
Shadow goes to the apron, and starts laughing maniacally as Exodus now applies a hammerlock to the same arm of Ajax’s that Shadow had been targeting. Exodus applies more pressure, but Ajax manages to swing an elbow back and catch Exodus in the face, forcing him to break the hold. Shadow is still laughing maniacally… so Ajax charges at him and hits him with a big forearm shot to jaw, which knocks Shadow down onto the floor, which causes an eruption of cheers form the crowd.
Exodus rams into Ajax from behind, knocking him into the corner. He hits Ajax with hard, boxing style lefts and rights to the gut and head. Ajax is dazed, but manages to duck one of Exodus’ punches, and drive his shoulder into Exodus’ gut- once, twice, three times. Ajax grabs Exodus by his left arm and lifts him onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position. He circles the ring and drops him down in a Death Valley Driver. He quickly drags Exodus over to the Atomic Punks’ corner and tags in Cowboy.

Ajax lifts Exodus up onto his shoulders again in an electric chair position as Cowboy springs up to the top turnbuckle. He gestures to the crowd swiftly to get them pumped up and leaps off. MISSILE DROPKICK knocking Exodus off of Ajax’s shoulders!

Carlos: Exodus just did a 630° turn before hitting the floor!!
Fooda: Gymnasts can’t even perform that sometimes.
Carlos: It’s not like Exodus did it under his own power, either.

At this point Shadow has managed to make his way back onto the apron.

Exodus still gets to his feet despite what just happened. Cowboy turns after showboating the crowd, realizing Exodus is getting up, runs up and gives him an enzugiri. Exodus goes down in a heap again. Cowboy gets up, brings Exodus with him, locks in a DDT position, runs to a neutral corner and runs up the turnbuckles and goes for a Tornado DDT. Exodus pushes him off before he can land, sending Cowboy to the mat. Exodus takes a second to clear the cobwebs as Cowboy collects himself off the ground. Cowboy turns and is met by a running big boot to the face from Exodus.

Fooda: I think I saw some teeth fly out! 

Shadow calls for a tag with eagerness. Exodus looks down at Cowboy then back at Shadow, and tags him in. Shadow jumps over the top rope and walks to Cowboy with a twisted smile as Cowboy is dragging himself up. Cowboy runs to Shadow only to be caught in a flap-jack, landing head first on the top turnbuckle. SNAKE EYES. Cowboy stumbles out of the corner, and gets is caught in a wristlock by Shadow. German Suplex! Ajax tires to reach for a tag but, it too far away. 

Shadow picks him up and sets up for what looks like a brainbuster but Cowboy squirms out, kicking him in the gut, Doubling shadow over. Cowboy springs onto the top rope closest to him and leaps off, turning around in mid-air, hitting Shadow with a flying crossbody. He hooks the leg for a pin attempt. 

1
2 – Kick out!


Both slowly get to their feet again at the same time. Shadow hits Cowboy with a knife-edge chop, elicitng a {WOOOOO!} fro the crowd. Cowboy responds with a chop of his own {WOOOOO!}. Shadow hit back with an even harder chop that echoes in the arena {WOOOOO!}. He then Irish whips Cowboy into the ropes, following him behind and clotheslining him over the top rope but in the process, goes with him. The referee starts the count

*1*
Shadow gets up first and whips Cowboy in the railing. He gets hung up on the top, teetering.

*2*
Shadow ‘helps’ Cowboy back over by grabbing his head and flinging him back to the ground with such force the crowd can be head gasping collectively. 

*3*
Shadow picks up Cowboy and rolls him back into the ring and follows him in. He goes for a pin attempt.

1

2 – Kick out!

Shadow, frustrated, picks him up again and body slams him to the mat. Another pin attempt.

1

2 – Kick out!

Once again, he picks up Cowboy and Irish whips him into the ropes, Cowboy comes back but baseball slides under his legs, continues to the ropes and comes back just as Shadow turns around and hits him with a swinging neckbreaker. Shadow seems to be winded, and Cowboy takes the opportunity to crawls to Ajax for a tag. He gets to Ajax just as Shadow gets up. Ajax comes in and barrels over to Shadow taking him down with a hard clothesline. He keeps running to Exodus and flips him the bird. Chop block by Shadow, clipping Ajax’s knee, bringing him down to the mat. Shadow jumps onto the top turnbuckle. Ajax is getting up too nursing his knee a little bit. Shadow soars off the top and hits Ajax with a flying forearm. Shadow rolls through and tags in Exodus. Exodus walks over to Ajax and gets him in a chokeslam position. Ajax reverses and Irish whips Exodus into the ropes and as he comes back, goes for a clothes line but Exodus has the same idea. Both men collide with each other and hit the mat. Each man makes their way to their partners for a tag. 
Cowboy comes in, however he still hasn’t fully recovered. Shadow comes in, he too hasn’t fully recovered. They run toward each other and Cowboy hits him with a crossbody. He jumps to the top rope and signals to the crowd and hits the shooting star press. Pin attempt.

1

2

2 ½ - Exodus breaks up the pin by running and hitting him with a big boot to the face. Exodus picks up Cowboy and hits him with the Darkness Drop.. 

Carlos: I think he might have just broken Cowboy’s face with that move!

Jewel: * FIVE MINUTES REMAINING!*

Ajax comes back and kicks Exodus in the gut, doubling him over. He picks him up in a gorilla press and walks over to the ropes with Exodus, throwing him out to the ring side area. Cowboy is back on his feet at this point and signals to Ajax for the Rumble in the Bronx. Kitten is heard screaming and cheering for her men. Ajax picks up Shadow and body slams him near a corner. Just as he moves away, Cowboy jumps off the top turnbuckle and nails the 630° senton. Cowboy pins Shadow

1

2

3!

Jewel: Here are our winners, at a time of 15: 32… Cowboy and Ajax… the ATOMIC PUNKS!
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Re: EWA Show #5: Crowning A Champion (6/20/2010)

Post by yourcrapsweak » Jan 23rd, '11, 18:45

9. PHREAK vs. EL DEMONICO vs. GEORGE “THE AGGRO” ADAMS vs. DISNEYLAND REJECT (w/ Maria Mastodon)

Jewel: The following contest is a four-way elimination match with a thirty minute time limit. Elimination may occur by pinfall, submission, count out, or disqualification.

Silly, yet creepy music plays and the crowd shows their discontent.

Jewel: Introducing first… To be accompanied by Maria Mastodon, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds, THE DISNEYLAND REJECT!

DLR and Maria come out, and Maria looks as mean as when we first saw her, if not meaner. DLR is sporting his signature Mikey Mouse mask and oversized hammer. He enters the ring and Maria follows to his corner on the outside.

The music stops and F*cking in the bushes by Oasis hits. The crowd’s reaction changes immediately.

Jewel: From London, England, weighing two hundred forty-five pounds, GEORGE “THE AGGRO” ADAMS!

Aggro comes out to a loud reception, and he humbly receives it under his white towel. He enters the ring and the music changes to something eerie.

Jewel: From the depths of Hell, weighing two hundred fifty-five pounds, EL DEMONICO!

Demonico gets a mixed reaction, but many claps. His red mask looks errier than usual. He slides under the bottom rope towards his corner and stares at his opponents while slithering, mainly Adams.

Jewel: And standing at five foot seven, weighing in at two hundred pounds, PHREAK!

Phreak emerges to a loud pop and slides in the ring. The bell rings before he’s able to get to his feet because Adams is attacking El Demonico!

DING DING DING!

Adams is working over Demonico in the corner and Phreak is kicked by DLR before he gets up. Phreak is pushed into the opposite corner and Adams chops Demonico hard. They’re both whipped into the center of the ring at the same time, but Phreak reverses his whip and DLR and Demonico bash heads in the middle of the ring! They stagger back as Adams hits a German suplex and Phreak hits a DDT at the same time, and they both go for a cover! The ref looks confused for a split second, but says “the hell with it!” and counts with both hands!

ONE…


TWO…



BOTH MEN KICK OUT!

Carlos: It looks like this will be one hell of a match, Fooda.
Fooda: I feel bad for that ref.

Demonico rolls to the outside as Phreak climbs the top rope, looking for something big. Adams walks over to the other side of the ring where DLR is starting to stand up. Ignorant of Phreak, Adams kicks DLR, but Phreak flies over DLR and hits a flying headscissors! Adams is sent across the ring and under the ropes where Demonico seemed to be waiting for him. The ref starts his count on both men.

As that happened, Phreak springs up but DLR levels him with a clothesline! The poor ref haults the count out for a pin attempt!

ONE…




TWO…





NO! Phreak kicks out.

{2!} Back to the action on the outside, Demonico is taking advantage of a stirred up Aggro. He whips him into the steel ring post {3!} then whips his arm onto the hard ring apron. {4!} Demonico stands on the apron and DLR charges him, but Demonico gets a forearm up and he staggers back to Phreak who hits a swinging neckbreaker. Another pin!

ONE…




TWO…






NO! DLR presses him off.

Meanwhile, Demonico runs on the apron towards Adams on the floor and boots him hard in the head! {5!} Adam flies to the barricade and is helplessly draped over the rail. {6!} Demonico gets a twinkle in his eye and the fans around Adams clear the way. Demonico cocks back {7!}, gets a running start and flies off the apron, over the rail, and hits a leg drop on Adams into the crowd!

{OWWF! OWWF! OWWF!}

Carlos: These men are NOT holding back one bit!
Fooda: You say that like you expected them to, Carlos.
Carlos: Not necessarily.
Fooda: Just watch the match. I’ll call it from here WOAHHHH MY!

Phreak dives over the ropes into the crowd, onto Adams and Demonico!!

The fans sing a new song {PHREAK HAS LOST HIS MIIIIIIND! PHREAK HAS LOST HIS MIIIIIIIIIND!}

Disneyland Reject is now alone in the ring as his three opponents are piled in the front row. He looks around, then looks at the ref and says “What do I do?!” The ref shrugs.

Maria Mastodon then comes into the ring, and her and DLR have a short conversation with exaggerated hand motions and theatrics.

Carlos: What is go – oh man look at this!

The seven foot, five hundred pound behemoth picks up DLR in a gorilla press position and throws him like a pebble over the ropes into the crowd on top of all three men!!!

{THIS IS AWESOME! *Clap, clap, clap clap clap*}

Maria then goes outside the ropes and stands on the apron. She looks at all four men over the barricade, then scales the middle rope! The “This is awesome” chant quickly turns into a “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” and screams of fear! The ref quickly exits the ring to the floor and stands in front of her, pleading no! Maria looks around the Asylum and hears the fans cry out {NOOOOOOOOOO!} with a few jokesters chanting {DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!}

DLR is the first to his feet and he begs Maria to not jump. She obliges and the fans calm down. Carlos and Fooda almost had heart attacks.

DLR pulls Phreak over the rail and throws him the ring. Demonico and Adams are just starting to get up. A pin on Phreak in the ring!

ONE…




TWO…




PHREAK GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!

Meanwhile outside, Adams belly to back suplexes Demonico over the rail and on the matless concrete floor!

Carlos: We’re not in the OWWF Arena folks; we don’t have mats here in the Asylum. That’s cold, hard, concrete!

Adams whips Demonico into the ring arpon and gives him a few right hands. In the ring, Phreak is up but DLR is punching him. Phreak locks on a side headlock.

Outside, Demonico is climbing the apron and so is Adams. Demonico kicks Adams in the midsection and enters the ring, then slingshots him over the ropes and on his back. DLR across the ring bounces off the ropes still in the headlock, looking to push Phreak off him. Phreak verbally says “oh no no no no no!” and keeps it on, then Phreak slides to the ground still holding the head. It gets a few laughs.

Adams is up but caught off guard and Demonico hits a T-Bone suplex! A cover!

ONE…





TWO…





NO! Adams kicks out! Demonico gets off him in a rage and kicks Phreak for no apparent reason.

Fooda: What an idiot!

Demonico uppercuts Phreak and DLR gets to his feet. Demonico whips Phreak across the ring and he bounces back, Demonico throws him up for a flapjack and Phreak goes flying into the air! HE COMES DOWN AND HITS DLR WITH A DRAGONRANA! COVER!

ONE…




TWO…




THREE!

Jewel: The Disneyland Reject has been eliminated!

DLR was caught completely off guard and he is pissed. Maria is banging on the ring apron and the ref is trying to direct DLR out of the ring. Maria gets on the apron as the three of them argue. Demonico comes over and starts talking in Spanish with a demonic accent, and the four of them are all speaking at the same time. Phreak is looking at the four of them, leisurely leaning on the ropes. Adams comes into the commotion and loudly yells in his own accent “AYE! EVERYONE SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!” Everyone is suddenly quiet, then the ref calmly tells DLR that’s he’s been eliminated. DLR stomps around the ring and takes off his mask, revealing that black ski mask, and then he smashes it on the mat. Then out of nowhere, he says “hehe!” and kicks Adams HARD in the groin! The ref loses his cool and really yells for him to go, then Phreak dropkicks DLR, and Demonico catches him with a backdrop over the top rope to the floor! Maria picks up her man and walks him backstage while wildly yelling at them. Phreak and Demonico look at each other, then at Adams on the floor who screeches “Bloody hell!” while holding his babies.

Demonico then charges Phreak with a knee to the stomach and whips him to the corner. He sits Phreak on the top turnbuckle and climbs the bottom rope, but before he can get to the middle rope, Adams comes from behind, quickly climbs up, hooks on a full nelson, and suplexes him off and on the back of his head!! A bridge!

ONE…




TWO…






NO! Demonico gets out of it!

Adams gets up and Phreak flies off the top rope with a corkscrew body press but Adams miraculously catches him! He’s about to fall away slam him but Demonico comes behind Adams and GERMAN SUPLEXES HIM WITH PHREAK! PHREAK IS FALL AWAY SLAMMED AND ADAMS IS FLINGED ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!

{OWWF! OWWF! OWWF!}

Demonico goes for a cover on Adams!

ONE…




TWO…







THR – NO! ADAMS KICKS OUT!

Phreak and Demonico are up and Phreak springboards and clotheslines Demonico. He signals for something and climbs the turnbuckle. Demonico is set almost perfectly; Phreak is at the top, PHOENIX SPLASH ON DEMONICO! Phreak rolls away clutching his stomach in pain and Adams takes the opportunity to crawl over and drape a hand over Demonico!


ONE…








TWO…









THREE!

Jewel: El Demonico has been eliminated!

Demonico rolls out of the ring to the floor and both Phreak and Adams are down. Phreak gets up after a few seconds and kicks Adams. It must have woken him up, because Adams gets to his feet.

They exchange forearms and Adams twists the arm. “Come on you wanker!” He yells at Phreak. Phreak rolls through, springboards and armdrags Adams across the ring. Adams runs back and Phreak goes under him, then leapfrogs but Adams catches him and hits a hard spinebuster! Cover!


ONE…








TWO…








NO! Phreak just gets the shoulder up!

Aggro cuts his throat and yells “ALRIGHT THIS IS IT!” He puts Phreak on his shoulders! He spins him around for the Aggromatic but Phreak lands on his feet and rolls through with a small package!

ONE…










TWO…














NO! ADAMS GETS FREE!

They both get up quickly and Phreak charges Adams, then Adams CATCHES HIM IN THE LAST ORDERS!

Phreak is doing all he can to stay alive! Flailing his arms, screaming, everything! After almost a minute in the maneuver, Phreak makes a desperate attempt at escape and kicks off the ropes, and flips over Adams, freeing himself!

Phreak out of nowhere gets Adams on his shoulder and without wasting any time HITS THE PHREAKISH INTENTS! COVER!

ONE…










TWO…













THREE!

DING DING DING!

Jewel: In fourteen minutes and thirty-one seconds (14:31), here is your winner, PHREAK!

Phreak escapes the ring quickly before Adams realizes what just happens and the ref follows him to raise his hand. They walk backstage as Adams bangs his fists on the mat and exits.

10. NO TIME LIMIT MATCH FOR THE OWWF WORLD TITLE
JACK SQUAT (w/ Sarah Kaminsky) vs. JOEL CARTER

Carlos: Well, what a match that was. Phreak picking up the win in that four way match. But now, it is time to crown our first champion. There is no time limit, so we guarantee there will be a new champion here tonight!

Khali comes down to the ring, holding the OWWF World Title Belt. Ring attendants set up a table at ringside with three chairs. Khali walk into the ring, holding the title belt,

Jewel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is your MAIN EVENT… It has NO TIME LIMIT and the winner will be crowned the first ever OWWF World Champion!

Introducing first, being accompanied by Sarah Kaminsky, from Verona, New Jersey, weighing in at 240 pounds… JACK SQUAT!
Jack jumps up on the turnbuckle and pumps his fists a few times to get the crowd pumped up, and they respond by breaking out into song {JACK IS GONNA KICK SOME ASS! DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH! JACK IS GONNA KICK SOME ASS ALL THE LIVE LONGDAY!}

Jewel: And his opponent- From Buffalo, New York, weighing in at 251 pounds… JOEL CARTER!

Khali shows the belt to the two men, holds it up high over his head, then he, Jewel, and the timekeeper (whose job is really just to ring the bell in this match) exit the ring, and sit down at the table that was just set up. Khali places the title belt onto the table in front of him, and sits back to watch the match.

The two men shake hands, and the bell sounds to start off the match.

DING! DING! DING!

GORE BY CARTER!!!!

Jack counters it with a drop toe hold, then locks Carter in the Leg Jack. Carter struggles in the hold for a few seconds, but then starts to crawl to the ropes. He gets to the ropes, forcing a rope break.

Both men get to their feet and lock up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Carter gets the advantage, forcing Jack into a standing side headlock, but Jack snapmares him over, and drops down applying a seated headlock to Carter. Carter struggles in the hold for a few second, but manages to slip out of it, grabs Jack’s wrist. Carter stands up, controlling Jack’s arm, twisting in a painful manner. Jack rolls forward to alleviate the pressure on his arm, trips Carter up with a leg trip. Jack goes for a lateral press pin.

ON-No!
Carter gets his shoulder up, but Jack quickly grabs Carter’s arms and locks him in a kimura! Carter struggles in the hold for about five second, but manages to roll Jack over so that his shoulders are being pinned to the mat, while the submission hold is still locked in.

ONE!

Jack kicks out, letting go of the hold in the process. Carter gets to his feet a split second before Jack, and uses that advantage to nail his opponent with a dropkick, sending Jack down to the mat. Carter goes for a quick cover, but Jack grabs him and ties in up in a Large Package:

ONE!

T-NO!
Carter kicks out, and both men quickly get to their feet. The crowd claps in appreciation of the indy standoff.

Jack charges at Carter, but Carter sidesteps him. Jack continues off the ropes turns around and comes at Carter again. This time Carter drops down, and Jack jumps over him, avoiding Carter’s attempt to trip him up. Carter kips up, and Jack bounces back off the opposite ropes, coming at Carter once again. Hip toss by Carter. Jack lands on his feet. Jack kicks Carter in the gut, then follows it up with an X-Factor. Jack grabs Carter’s head and flips over, locking him in a Last Chancery. Carter struggles in the hold for about ten seconds, trying the whole time to slip his trapped arm free. When he finally does, he smashes down with an elbow on Jack’s upper chest, breaking his bridge and forcing him to release the hold. Carter then brings his elbow down on Jack’s face. Carter grabs Jack’s right arm and rolls him into a short arm scissors. Jack struggles in the hold for a few seconds, before managing to flip himself over, rolling Carter over in the process, forcing his shoulders to the mat:

ONE!

Carter kicks out!
Both men are back to their feet, and Jack charges at Carter for a clothesline. Carter ducks it, and Jack continues, rebounding off the ropes. Carter goes to hit Jack with a rolling elbow, but Jack ducks it and takes Carter down with a double leg takedown. Jack floats over into a bringing pin:

ONE!

T-NO!
Carter kicks out.
Both men get back to their feet, and we get another collar-and-elbow tie-up. Carter eventually gets the advantage and takes Jack down with a headlock takedown, and then locks in a head scissors. Jack manages to roll himself over so that his feet are flat on the ground, the pushes off of the mat with his hands and escapes the hold with a handspring. Jack then hits the seated Carter in the face with a quick dropkick. Jack grabs Carter’s legs and goes for a sharpshooter, but Carter rolls him up with a small package:

ONE-NO! 

Jack kicks out, and both men quickly get to their feet. Carter charges in for a clothesline, but Jack ducks it. Jack goes for a superkick, but Carter ducks that. Carter grabs Jack from behind in waist-lock, setting him up for a German Suplex, but Jack elbows him in the face. Jack then grabs Carter from behind and locks him in an abdominal stretch. Carter struggles in the hold for a few seconds, but manages to break the hold by hitting Jack with a hip toss. Carter then drops down and locks Jack in a headscissors.

Fooda: He’s tried that move like twenty times, and Jack has always found a way out of it. Why is he trying it again? What a moron!

Once again, Jack rolls himself over so that his feet are flat on the ground. He pushes off of the mat, but Carter brings his arms down across Jack’s back, applying pressure and preventing Jack from handspringing out. Carter then starts to clubs his arms down on Jack’s back, pounding him with forearm shots. Once he is satisfied that he has done enough damage to Jack’s back, Carter grabs Jack by the waist. Carter manages to stand up, and pulls Jack up as well. PILEDRIVER BY CARTER! The cover:

ONE!


TWO!




TH-NO! Jack kicks out!

Carter doesn’t skip a beat though. He goes right back to work. He picks Jack up onto his shoulders… F-5! He goes for the pin:

ONE!



TWO!





THR-NO! 
Jack kicks out. Again, Carter goes right back to business. He pulls Jack over towards the bottom right corner of the ring. Carter climbs up to the top turnbuckle and leaps off for a Frog Splash…







IT CONNECTS!

ONE!



TWO!





THRE-NO! 
Somehow, Jack manages to summon up the strength to kick out! Carter makes his way towards the opposite corner of the ring, and waits there. H motions with his hands, waiting for Jack to start to get up. 

Jack sees him, though, and rather than get up, Jack tries to crawl towards the ropes, seeking the safety provided by the outside of the ring. Carter notices what he is doing and charges over. He hits Jack with an elbow drop to stop his progress, then grabs Jack by the legs and starts to drag him back towards the center of the ring. Jack manages to free his right leg, and starts kicking away at Carter, eventually, nailing him in the gut, doubling him over, then nailing him in the chest, sending him tumbling backwards. Jack starts to make his way towards the ropes again, but once again Carter jumps on him with an elbow drop to stop him. Carter tries to go for the Carter Crab, but as he is bending down to pick up Jack’s legs, Jack kicks him hard in the face, sending him tumbling backwards. Jack manages to crawl to the ring apron, then pulls himself up using the ropes. Carter charges at Jack, but Jack ducks and catches him with a shoulder in the gut. Jack grabs Carter for a Vertical Suplex over the ropes, from the apron to the floor, but Jack is weak from the damage that he had just suffered, and Jack’s lack of strength allows Carter to grab the top rope and pull himself down towards it, blocking the move. Carter elbows Jack in the face, dazing him, then Carter follow Jack out onto the apron. Carter picks Jack up onto his shoulders for an F-5 off the apron, but Jack grabs the top rope, and pulls himself off of Carter’s shoulders. Jack is now behind Carter on the apron, and as Carter turns around, Jack hits him with a superkick! Carter is stunned. Jack picks Carter up in a Vertical Suplex position, and hits a Gordbuster, slamming Carter back into the ring! 
Carter rolls around in pain, while Jack uses the ropes and pulls himself along the apron. Carter is just starting to get to his feet as Jack climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Carter lunges at the top rope, knocking Jack off balance. Jack gets crotched on the top turnbuckle, and Carter then climbs the turnbuckle himself. Carter butterflies Jacks arms for a Super Trigger Effect. Jack fights out of it, and slips down between Carter’s legs, inside the ring. Jack clubs the turnbuckle again, this time he is behind Carter. Jack goes for a Super Back Suplex, but Carter is able to flip backwards and land on his feet before Jack able to hit the move. Now Carter is in the ring, behind Jack, who is currently standing on the top turnbuckle in the bottom right corner of the ring. Carter boosts himself off of the second rope, and hits Jack in the back of the head with a huge blow strike. Carter then climbs out to the apron and climbs up the turnbuckle from the outside, so threat he is now facing Jack. Carter butterflies Jack’s arms once again, setting Jack up for a Super Trigger Effect. Jack fights out of it again, though, and once again manages to slip between Carter’s legs. Jack is now sitting on the top turnbuckle, with Carter standing above him. A-BOMB OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!
{HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!}
The ref starts the count-out:
{ONE!}
{TWO!}
{THREE!}
{FOUR!}
{FIVE!}
{SIX!}
{SEVEN}
{EIGHT!}
At this point, both men are just showing the first signs on movement.
{NINE!}
{TEN!}
{ELEVEN!}
{TWELVE!}
{THIRTEEN!}
Jack is on one knee now. Carter is only starting to push himself up .
{FOURTEEN!}
{FIFTEEN!}
Carter has now made it to one knee.
{SIXTEEN!}
Jack is on his feet
{SEVENTEEN!}
Jack starts to stumble towards the ring, while Carter is struggling to make it to his feet
{EIGHTEEN!}
Jack has made it to the apron, which he is now resting against. Carter is now on his feet, but groggy.
{NINETEEN!}
Jack pulls himself up onto the apron. Carter starts stumbling towards the ring.
{TW-


Jack pulls himself through the ropes. He has made it into the ring.


{EN-}


Carter lunges forward


{T-CARTER JUST MAKES IT BACK IN TIME!}

Both men lie on the mat, taking some time to recover
{1}
{2}
{3}
{4}
{5}
{6}
Both men use the ropes to help pull themselves up
{7}
{8}
Both men are up to their knees
{9} 
{1-Both men are back on their feet!

Jack throws a forearm shot at Carter. Carter stumbles backwards a bit, then returns the favor. Jack throws another forearm shot. Carther throws another one of his own. Another forearm shot by Jack, and as it connects a {yay!} chant is heard from a good portion of the audience. Carter connects with a forearm shot, and his supporters shout {yay!} while Jack’s shout {boo!} Forearm shot by Jack {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Carter {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Jack {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Carter {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Jack {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Carter {yay!/boo!}. Forearm shot by Jack {yay!/boo!} Forearm shot by Carte-Overhead Bell to Belly Suplex by Jack! Jack gets back to his feet, while Carter pulls himself up in the top right corner of the ring. Jack charges at him. Jack Attack! Jack picks Carter up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position. Jack transitions it into a flapjack, with Carter’s head smacking into the top turnbuckle on the way down. 

Carlos: Jack just made him Eat Turnbuckle!

Jack goes for the cover:

ONE!



TWO!


THRE-NO!
Carter grabs the bottom rope!
Jack presses the advantage, standing Carter up, hitting him with a Hangman’s Neckbreaker. Jack locks in the Bow Backbreaker! He increases the pressure on the brutal submission, bending Carter’s neck backwards, forcing him to arch his back from a kneeling position! Carter struggles for a few seconds, but manages to reach out and grab the rope, forcing a clean break.

Carter gets up and Jack goes for a Half Nelson Suplex, but Carter uses his free arm to elbow Jack in the chest, forcing him to release the Half Nelson. Super Kick by Carter. Jack is still on his feet, but very groggy. Carter runs up the ropes, and springboards off of them, turning in mid-air to connect with a flying roaring elbow! Carter picks Jack up and locks him in a waist lock. HUGE release German Suplex by Carter! He drags Jack over to the bottom right corner of the ring. Split Legged Moonsault. Jack moves out of the way! Jack takes a few seconds to recover while wait for Carter to get up. 

When Carter gets back on his feet, Jack grabs his head and hits a Shiranui! Jack goes for the cover:


ONE!




TWO!





THRE-NO!
Carter kicks out!
Jack points to the top rope. About 70% crowd goes wild. {LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JACK! LET’S GO JACK!}, the rest, being Carter supporters, remain silent. Jack walks onto the apron, the climbs up onto the top rope. Squatting Star Press…






Connects…..





With Carter’s Knees!
Carter takes a few seconds to recover, then gets back on is feet. He picks Jack up in a powerbomb position… BUCKLE BOMB by Carter! Jack stumbles out of the corner, and Carter hits him with a Spinebus-X-FACTOR! JACK COUNTERS THE SPINEBUSTER WITH AN X-FACTOR! {THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!}
Jack grabs Carter by the head, traps his arm and flips over him into a bridge, locking in the Last Chancery. Carter struggles in the hold for about fifteen seconds before finally getting his feet on the ropes, forcing a rope break. When Carter has gotten back on his feet, Jack charges at him for a big clothesline, trying to knock Carter out of the ring. Carter ducks it. O’Connell Roll by Carter. Jack rolls backwards through Carter’s legs before Carter can sit down on him for the pin. Jack gets to his feet behind Carter and locks in a waist lock. Release German Suplex by Jack. Carter lands on his feet! He locks a waist lock of his own in on Jack and hits a HUGE Release German Suplex!

Carter stalks Jack, waiting for him to get up. Jack sees Carter setting up for the Gore, so rather than stand up, he rolls out of the ring. Jack takes some time to recover, right in front of the table at which Khali, Jewel, and the timekeeper are seated. Carter charges towards Jack anyway, going for a Heat Seeking Missile. Jack moves out of the way! Carter sees this, and manages to stop himself at the last second. Carter then jumps onto the top rope and hits Jack with a springboard crossbody. The fans start chanting {OWWF! OWWF! OWWF!}, and the referee starts the count on the floor.
{1}
{2}
Carter is up to one knee
{3}
Carter is back on his feet, while Jack is just getting up to one knee.
Carter grabs Jack {4} and Irish Whips him hard into the ring steps, dislodging them from their place. Carter then goes over{5}and grabs the ring steps. He picks them up and sets them down in front of the table, so that the indentation where they would normally be attached to the ringpost is facing the VIPs {6}. He goes over to Jack and grabs his head {7}. Carter runs forward for a bulldog onto the steps…



JACK COUNTERS IT, throwing Carter forward. Carter sails over the steps, and lands on his butt on the other side of them {8}. Jack takes a moment to catch his breath, while Carter shakes off the pain and starts to get up {9}. Jack charges forward and leaps off of the steps, hitting Carter with a Kane-style flying clothesline {10}! Jack gets up and throws his fist up in the air, shouting “YEAH!” The crowd responds similarly, and a chant of {JACK IS AWESOME! *clap* clap* clap* clap* clap*} starts. Jack {11} moves back to Carter, and scoops him up {12}. Body slam onto the floor by Jack! Elbow drop {13}! The crowd is still chanting for Jack, but now the Carter supporters are piping up as well, and we get dueling chants of {JACK IS AWESOME!}{LET’S GO CARTER!}
Jack picks Carter up and rolls him into the ring {14}. Jack then follows Carter in, breaking the count. Jack goes for the cover, hooking Carter’s leg so he can’t reach the ropes:

ONE!



TWO!






THR-NO!
Carter kicks out! 

Jack wastes no time, though, and continues to press the offense. He picks Carter up and Irish Whips him into the top left corner of the ring. Jack follows it up with a running knee strike. Jack chops at Carter’s chest, eliciting a {WOOOOOO!} from the crowd. Another chop by Jack {WOOOOOO!}. And another {WOOOOOO!}. And another {WOOOOOO!}. Jack backs up, then charges at Carter. Jack Atta- SINGLE ARM SIDESLAM BY CARTER! Arabian Press! The cover:

ONE!



TWO!



THR-NO!
Jack kicks out!

Carter grabs Jack and tosses him into the corner. Now it is Carter’s turn to throw some chops! {WOOOOOO!}. {WOOOOOO!}. {WOOOOOO!}. {WOOOOOO!}. Carter back up and charges at Jack. Jack gets out of the way, and Carter bumps into the turnbuckle! FREEDOM BOMB! The cover:

ONE!



TWO!




THR-NO!
Carter grabs the bottom rope!
Jack picks Carter up onto his shoulders for the Rubix Cube. Carter reigns punches down on the top of Jack’s head, and manages to slip down behind Jack, onto the apron. Roaring Elbow by Jack. Carter ducks it and punches Jack in the gut. Carter walks them a few steps to the right, so that they are now directly in line with the ring steps, which are still set up in front of the VIP table. VERTICAL SUPLEX OFF THE APRON! 


JACK LANDS ON HIS FEET! He pulls Carter’s legs out from under him, and Carter’s jaw smacks into the apron as he lands on the outside! {1} Jack grabs Carter and Irish Whips him into the ring steps… but Carter RUNS UP THE RING STEPS, {2} and using the last of the momentum from the Irish Whip, jumps onto the VIP table! Jack takes advantage of the fact that Carter’s back is now turned towards him, rushing over, and upending the table. 



The OWWF World Title Belt falls to the floor, and Khali, Jewel, and the timekeeper are now stuck in their chairs, pressed between the railing and the table, its legs pointing towards the ring {3}. 



BACKFLIP BY CARTER as Jack is upending the table! Carter lands on his feet behind both Jack and the ring steps! Carter charges up the ring steps. FLYING GORE BY CARTER!!




JACK DODGES IT! CARTER GOES FLYING INTO THE TABLE… hitting it right were poor Khali is stuck on the other side. The table actually cracks a bit right where Carter impacts it, cracking the table from the bottom rather than the top. Between the cracked table, the force of Carter’s impact, his metal chair, and the metal barricade, Khali takes it from all sides, and he collapses in a heap {4}. Seeing this, the ref sends for a medical team {5}, which comes and takes Khali to the back on a stretcher. The timekeeper gives Jewel the bell and hammer, and he accompanies the medical team to the back, in case they need anything. 

Jack and Carter don’t pause their battle while Khali is being loaded onto the stretcher. Jack Irish Whips Carter shoulder first into the barricade {6}, then keeps up the pressure by grapping Carter’s are and slamming it into the barricade {7}. Jack then picks Carter up and points to the barricade on the right side of the ring, over by Carlos and Fooda {8}. Jack bends Carter over at the waist, then lifts him up by his waist, holding Carter on his right shoulder {9}. Jack charges across the arena floor to the area he was pointing at and hits a RUNNING AWESOME BOMB ON CARTER, SENDING HIM THREE ROWS DEEP INTO THE CROWD! {HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!} 
{10} Jack pumps his fist in celebration, then climbs over the barricade {11}. Jack walks over to Carter, and grabs his arms {12}. Jack drags Carter back to the barricade {13}, then dumps him over it. Jack then climbs back into the ringside area himself, and picks Carter up once again {14}. Jack maneuvers Carter onto his shoulders, and carries him over towards the apron {15}. Jack flips Carter off of his shoulders, and down onto the apron, back first, then pushes Carter into the ring {16}. Jack climbs back into the ring, and drags Carter close to the top right corner of the ring. Jack points to the top turnbuckle. He walks over to it and pounds on it a few times. The fans cheer. Jack climbs up to the top turnbuckle. SQUATTING STAR PRESS!!!!……













IT CONNECTS! The cover!

ONE!












TWO!
















THREE
NO!

CARTER SOMEHOW MANGED TO SUMMON UP THE STRENGTH TO KICK OUT! JACK CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

Jack brings Carter to his feet, then sits him on his shoulders, setting him up for a Rubix Cub-. 
Shawn Stevens comes down the entrance ramp. Jack puts Carter down and goes over to tell Stevens to scram. Stevens get up onto the apron and starts to shout at Jack, and Jack shouts back. The ref now comes over and tells Stevens to leave, but Stevens keeps shouting at Jack. Kev Carnage comes through the crowd, popping out by the overturned and cracked VIP table. He picks up the OWWF World Title Belt, and slides it into the ring…





Right into the waiting arms of Joel Carter!

Sarah Kaminsky, spots this and yells and points trying to get Jack’s and the ref’s attention off of Stevens. She runs over to stand behind Stevens, and tries to pull Stevens off of the apron. Seeing that Kaminsky is taking care of the interloper, Jack turns back to Joel Carter. Jack leans down to pick Carter up… and gets smashed in the face with the title belt. Jack is knocked loopy. Carter charges at Jack…



GORE!

Sarah Kaminsky pulls Stevens down from the apron, freeing up the ref to pay attention to the match, and the cheating going on… but by the time the ref has turned around, Carter has already slid the belt out of the ring, where it was retrieved by Carnage, who has put it back near the wreckage of the table. Stevens kicks Kaminsky in the gut. CHUMP CHANGE on the floor by Stevens to Kaminsky!

Carter picks Jack up and butterflies his arms… TRIGGER EFFECT! The cover:


ONE!























TWO!























THREE!

Jewel: Ladies and Gentleman… your winner… and the FIRST EVER OWWF WORLD CHAMPION… JOEL CARTER!

{BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!}

The referee holds Carter’s hand up in victory, then goes to get the OWWF World Title Belt. Stevens and Carnage enter the ring, and start to celebrate with Carter. While the ref straps the title belt around Carter’s waist, Carnage picks Jack Squat’s limp body up, presses him over his head, and dumps him on the outside.

Carter then grabs a mic:
“All of you in attendance here tonight are VERY lucky, because you are getting to witness a piece of history. Pro wrestling as you know it has just changed forever! These three men you see before you in the ring: “The Future” Shawn Stevens- “Big Nasty” Kev Carnage”- and myself…. This Triad of dominance… will become the most powerful force that the world of professional wrestling has ever seen!”

The fans boo throughout the promo, but this new faction is unfazed, and walk up the ramp as if they were being cheered, not booed. As they walk up the aisle, some fans even pelt them with garbage, but they are completely unphased. When the y get to the top of the ramp, Carter stops, still facing away from the crowd, and holds the OWWF World Title in one hand, and raises it high above his head, eliciting even more boos. Carter, Stevens, and Carnage walk backstage, and the show ends.
"I was trending worldwide on Twitter once. And then I looked in my wallet, and there was no money in there."
-Kevin Steen

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