BRM Reviews the 3/23/2012 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- LOVED IT! Dragon gets to look like a self-obsessed jerk, and AJ’s match gets plugged. The line about spooning was just genius, as it did a perfect job of making AJ look naïve, inexperienced, and shy, but also in love. I know that I have been pushing for Sheamus to win the belt since early fall, but at this point, it would be an absolute travesty if they took the belt off of Dragon, or even worse, broke these two up. Sheamus’ promo was good, but it was just plain outclassed by the interaction between Dragon and AJ.

R-TRUTH vs. MARK HENRY- 3.5/10.
Decent for the time it was given. Booker T was bad on commentary. Michael Cole just pounced on him, though, which was good.

YOKOZUNA WILL BE INDUCTED INTO THE HALL OF FAME- good for Yoko.

ZACK RYDER & THE GREAT KHALI JOIN TEAM TEDDY- Bad. Let’s just ignore the fact that Khali lost a match in three minutes last week. If Teddy Long wanted Khali so much, why not just ask Khali ? Why take the risk of taking a guy who (barring him having a mutant heeling factor) came back WAY too soon from a broken back and broken neck, lost a match in under a minute a few days ago, and, as Teddy himself pointed out, has emotional baggage- in other words, someone who is weak both physically and mentally- and put him on your team… IN A ONE-FALL MATCH?!

And if you had to have Zack Ryder on this team, don’t do it like this! Have him say “John Laurinaitis endangered my health by making me compete when I wasn’t physically okay to do so and that cost me the US Title, which I worked so damn hard to earn (and it doesn’t hurt that the guy who took that belt from me, Jack Swagger, is on Laurinaitis’ team, and I want my revenge on him, too).”

AJ! (w/Daniel Bryan) vs. BRIE BBELLA (w/Nikki Bella)- 2.5/10
The pre-match pre-taped Bellas promo wasn’t bad. It would have been better, IMO it would have been better if AJ had won clean, but this finish does add a bit more heat to the Bellas’ fire than a clean win would have… crap. THIS is where they were going with the Bellas thing? COME ON!
The match was short, and it pretty much seemed like AJ was slowing down a step or two to work with Brie. Booker T was rancid on commentary. Josh Matthews (a babyface) had to take Dragon’s side to point things out to Booker in the hopes that Booker’s commentary wouldn’t make people perceive the angle wrong. Cole, on the other hand, did a great job on commentary.

JACK SWAGGER (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Zack Ryder (w/Hornswoggle)- 3/10.
A babyface gets a tainted win. That’s helpful.

CODY RHODES PROMO- good

KANE VS. ORTON AT MANIA IS NOW OFFICIAL- based on the story so far, this feels like it should be a street fight.

THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE- 4.75/10
Not bad for the time it was given, and the finish was good, but this situation is a great example of a place where a time-limit draw work perfectly. I didn’t care for Orton RKOing Kane right here because, if I remember correctly, he got the upper hand last time as well.

BRODUS CLAY vs. HEATH SLATER- decent squash.

THE GREAT KHALI (w/Teddy Long) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/John Laurinaitis & David Otunga)- HORRIFIC SEGMENT! Who thought this was a good idea? That person should be fired.

If Miz isn’t good enough to even be on the card at Mania, he shouldn’t be in the main event on Smackdown

CM PUNK & SHEAMUS vs. THE MIZ & DANIEL BRYAN (w/AJ!)- 6.5/10
A good match, but not good enough for a main event.

All three announcers seem to have forgotten what the Miz-Dragon dynamic on NXT was like. For Cole this is fine because he is the heel, but not for Booker and Matthews.

Overall, not a very good episode of Smackdown. Dragon and AJ continue to be the highlight of the show, while Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny feud continues to make me want to throw my remote at my television.