BRM Reviews the 2/17/2012 Smackdown (steaming pile of crap)

[Big Red Machine]

RANDY ORTON IN TEDDY LONG’S OFFICE- explained what it needed to, and did so fairly quickly.

THE BIG SHOW & THE GREAT KHALI vs. WADE BARRETT & CODY RHODES- DUD!
I really didn’t like this at all because it felt like it hurt the build going into the Elimination Chamber match. First, on commentary, Cole wonders how anyone is going to be able to eliminate Khali from the Chamber. It really drives me nuts when, in an attempt to build up a match or an angle, a commentator asks a question to which the answer is obvious to anyone who has ever seen wrestling before (like, say, the announcer asking it!). How do guys normally eliminate much larger guys in multi-man elimination matches? They team up. Everyone knows this.
As if to add to this, right after Cole makes this comment, Rhodes and Barrett start to double team Khali and gain the advantage for bit before Khali made what would have been a hot tag if the crowd gave a damn. Yes. You read that right; The 7’2 420lbs Great Khali… was the babyface in peril, and this kills the suspense Cole was trying to build up.
The Big Show got the tag and got the win quickly, making the guy who took the pin look weak because of how quickly he got pinned. Then, after the match, Big Show punches Khali out, destroying any attempt to make him look dangerous in for the Chamber match (which is a huge problem with Big Show’s punch finisher in general. What makes that punch so much better? Why doesn’t Show just go for the knockout with every punch he throws?)

BIG SHOW & MARK HENRY IN TEDDY LONG’S OFFICE- AWESOME!

TEDDY LONG & THE SECURITY GUYS- good segment.

TED DIBIASE JR vs. HUNICO (w/Kamacho)- 2/10.
They work over the arm and make a big deal about the arm… then end the match with a roll-up?
Also, this feud is still going on? If I remember correctly, these guys are angry at Ted because he didn’t invite them to a party. It has been MONTHS already! What is this? Fourth grade? GET OVER IT!

THE USOS vs. PRIMO & EPICO (w/Rosa Mendes)- 4.5/10. Both teams are definitely improving their tag team offense, though.

DANIEL BRYAN PROMO- decent.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. SHEAMUS- no rating. Bad segment. Never mind the fact that the constant DQs make Dragon look weak… they are just getting boring now. This must have been the fourth or fifth one in the last month and a half.


TEDDY LONG, CODY RHODES, AND WADE BARRETT IN TEDDY’S OFFICE- the real purpose of this segment was an info-dump. Teddy says that “anyone in the building” is eligible for this battle royale and that he doesn’t care where they come from. Terrible choice of words, Teddy. That technically gives fans the kayfabe right to participate in the match. Cody then complaining that Teddy “can’t just place some no-name in the Elimination Chamber” was also bad. Cody just said that he is confident that he can beat The Big Show, The Great Khali, Wade Barrett, and World Heavyweight Champoin Daniel Bryan… but he is worried about some no-name?

EZEKIEL JACKSON vs, JINDER MAHAL- Squash. Going in, I assumed that this was going to be a squash… I was just completely wrong about who would be the squasher and who would be the squashee. So Ezekiel Jackson, who held the Intercontinental Title just six months ago… loses to Jobber Mahal, who hasn’t won a match on Smackdown since sometime in the early summer, I believe.

ALICIA FOX & TAMINA vs. BETH PHOENIX & NATALYA- DUD! Michael Cole asks “why is Natalya prancing around the ring?” My reaction was similar, but I have the advantage of not having to restrain myself from saying words that you can’t say on TV. Anyway, Nattie makes Alicia Fox tap, but the ref got something in his eye and was looking away, so Nattie breaks the hold to go yell at him, letting Fox tag Tamina in. Tamina then pins Nattie after two moves… and Beth doesn’t even try to break it up. What the hell was this crap? Did WWE hire Vince Russo or something?

AFTERMATH WITH TAMINA & BETH- good

TEDDY LONG, DAVID OTUNGA, & JOHNNY ACE IN TEDDY’S OFFICE- bad. Is there anyone in the world who found Teddy’s attempt to insult Otunga funny? Anyone at all? No? Didn’t think so.

WRESTLEMANIA 28 PROMO- Great… until the end. Under the logo it said: “Coming soon.” Why would you say “coming soon.” You want people to buy the PPV… so how about giving them the DATE AND TIME? Or instructions for how to order the show?

BATTLE ROYALE TO FILL RANDY ORTON’S SPOT IN THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH- 2.75/10.
Terrible. Not even close to being an acceptable main event. EVERYTHING involved in booking this match (and this show) was just horrifically wrong. All of the segments building this match up basically said the following: “Teddy Long is doing something that is going to put a no-name in the Elimination Chamber match. Come watch the main event to see which of these many no-names it will be!” Because everyone loves watching no-names compete to be in a match it is 100% certain they won’t even come close to winning.

And no-names they were. I didn’t recognize a good third of the guys in there.
The six biggest names in this match were Drew McIntyre (who was barely on TV for the past ten months, and whose angle since returning last month has been that he keeps losing), Ezekiel Jackson (who just got squashed by a guy who hadn’t won a match in months), Justin Gabriel (whose only real win recently was against a guy who hadn’t won a match in months… and he needed Hornswoggle’s help to win it), Ted Dibiase Jr (who hasn’t done anything relevant for months), David Otunga (who hasn’t won a match in months… and is on the other show!), and Santino Marella (the comedy wrestler). Santino, the comedy wrestler, gets the win by hulking up. Which idiot thought that putting Santino in the Elimination Chamber was a good idea, and why have Hunter and Steph not fired him or her yet? This show was utterly horrendous.

And if you HAD to do this damn match full of no-names, there was only one person in that ring who should have gotten the win: Drew McIntyre. Drew has come close turning babyface, with Teddy Long being a jerk to him and losing because of either bad luck or others cheating. We know he has potential, as that is the kayfabe basis of his angle. McIntyre, while no one would expect him to win, would at least feel like he belongs in an Elimination Chamber with guys like Dragon, Barrett, Big Show, and Cody, and this would have furthered his angle, allowing him to do to Teddy Long and say “SEE! I won a big match. Give me another challenge. Who do I face next! I want more competition!”

Overall, this episode of Smackdown was utterly horrendous. AJ Lee could have won the Divas Title from Trish Stratus in a twenty minute match, four-star match in which both women were wrestling topless... and I still wouldn't have enjoyed this show. This was one of THE WORST wrestling shows I have seen in a very long time. I actually want to see Elimination Chamber LESS right now than I did before I started watching this show.

[badnewzxl]

you didn't think Dragon v. Sheamus was good? REALLY?! That was a pretty good match; it made Dragon look strong while not throwing Sheamus under the bus. It also gave us a great look at the potential WM main event. Besides the DQ (which I didn't think was bad at all; considering Dragon has been winning matches this way on purpose and he did pretty much the same in ROH) what else was wrong with the match?

It may have been on Superstars, but not long ago Mahal beat Zeke straight up; Hunico beat Zeke around that time as well (straight up)

and you (who are more than informed about wrestling) didn't recognize anybody in the battle royal? C'mon, BRM, don't bs us; you knew who those guys were. Hell, I knew who ALL those guys were; it was basically everyone who's still around from NXT and all the other lower level talents in WWE. Santino and Otunga REALLY had the crowd into it at the end.

I liked the fact that the battle royal included who it did (though Brodus Clay would have been a GREAT addition and eliminating him could have been a great way to get heat on someone like Mahal, Hunico, McIntyre, or Otunga) bc it gave those guys a chance to shine. I'm happy with Santino, but I was rooting for McIntyre (who I initially thought would win) and Riley (who I am still baffled they don't push considering how over he is with the crowd).

I'm just pretty surprised by your review; esp when it comes to the battle royal. ppl are always complaining about how these guys don't get any screen time, then when they do, ppl complain about it.

[Verdun]

I did like Bryan V. Sheamus except for the fact that they reused the Christian V. Orton play.

I was actually happy for Santino winning. Not that I thought it was a good idea, I just liked it. (Though, I would have liked it better if Drew won.)

I didn't think it was THAT bad, but it definitely could have been MUCH better.

And hold onto that 20 minute topless match between AJ and Trish idea. Definitely sounds like a keeper.

[badnewzxl]

I did like Bryan V. Sheamus except for the fact that they reused the Christian V. Orton play.

Sheamus was eliminated from the Survivor Series match the very same way; and a match against Cody a week or two before Survivor Series. They're pushing Sheamus' aggression

[Big Red Machine]

you didn't think Dragon v. Sheamus was good? REALLY?! That was a pretty good match; it made Dragon look strong while not throwing Sheamus under the bus. It also gave us a great look at the potential WM main event. Besides the DQ (which I didn't think was bad at all; considering Dragon has been winning matches this way on purpose and he did pretty much the same in ROH) what else was wrong with the match?

It may have been on Superstars, but not long ago Mahal beat Zeke straight up; Hunico beat Zeke around that time as well (straight up)

and you (who are more than informed about wrestling) didn't recognize anybody in the battle royal? C'mon, BRM, don't bs us; you knew who those guys were. Hell, I knew who ALL those guys were; it was basically everyone who's still around from NXT and all the other lower level talents in WWE. Santino and Otunga REALLY had the crowd into it at the end.

I liked the fact that the battle royal included who it did (though Brodus Clay would have been a GREAT addition and eliminating him could have been a great way to get heat on someone like Mahal, Hunico, McIntyre, or Otunga) bc it gave those guys a chance to shine. I'm happy with Santino, but I was rooting for McIntyre (who I initially thought would win) and Riley (who I am still baffled they don't push considering how over he is with the crowd).

I'm just pretty surprised by your review; esp when it comes to the battle royal. ppl are always complaining about how these guys don't get any screen time, then when they do, ppl complain about it.

1. Dragon vs Sheamus wasn't anything great. It was a decent match (which, as you identified, was meant to tease a possible main event at Mania), but it was just that they have done a similar finish SO MANY TIMES recently that I am annoyed by it. It was like those backstage brawls with the knockouts that TNA did so many damn times from late 2010 until about the middle of last year. They weren't bad on their own... it is just that they did them so many times.
And when did Dragon ever win like that in ROH?

2. I said a third of them. The NXT guys, Hawkins, Reks.

3. The fact that the crowd was into Santino and Otunga is why I didn't give this an even lower rating. The crowd being into something does not mean it is the right thing to do.

4. I agree with you about Clay. Have someone eliminate him to get heat, and use that to build to your pre-show dark match at Wrestlemania.

5. There is a difference between getting screen time and getting screen time in a dumb way that brings things down. When I say I want them to get screen time, I want WWE to cut out unproductive crap like the stupid Santino & Teddy Long segments and Sheamus beating Jinder Mahal for the 194th straight time and use those five or six minutes to let guys like Drew McIntyre, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel go out there and show what they can do in the ring. NONE of these guys belong in an Elimination Chamber match for the World Title base don their current card position and what they have been doing recently.

[Big Red Machine]

Sheamus was eliminated from the Survivor Series match the very same way; and a match against Cody a week or two before Survivor Series. They're pushing Sheamus' aggression

Which is great and all... but they need to find another way to do it. The same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again gets stale.

[badnewzxl]

you didn't think Dragon v. Sheamus was good? REALLY?! That was a pretty good match; it made Dragon look strong while not throwing Sheamus under the bus. It also gave us a great look at the potential WM main event. Besides the DQ (which I didn't think was bad at all; considering Dragon has been winning matches this way on purpose and he did pretty much the same in ROH) what else was wrong with the match?

It may have been on Superstars, but not long ago Mahal beat Zeke straight up; Hunico beat Zeke around that time as well (straight up)

and you (who are more than informed about wrestling) didn't recognize anybody in the battle royal? C'mon, BRM, don't bs us; you knew who those guys were. Hell, I knew who ALL those guys were; it was basically everyone who's still around from NXT and all the other lower level talents in WWE. Santino and Otunga REALLY had the crowd into it at the end.

I liked the fact that the battle royal included who it did (though Brodus Clay would have been a GREAT addition and eliminating him could have been a great way to get heat on someone like Mahal, Hunico, McIntyre, or Otunga) bc it gave those guys a chance to shine. I'm happy with Santino, but I was rooting for McIntyre (who I initially thought would win) and Riley (who I am still baffled they don't push considering how over he is with the crowd).

I'm just pretty surprised by your review; esp when it comes to the battle royal. ppl are always complaining about how these guys don't get any screen time, then when they do, ppl complain about it.

1. Dragon vs Sheamus wasn't anything great. It was a decent match (which, as you identified, was meant to tease a possible main event at Mania), but it was just that they have done a similar finish SO MANY TIMES recently that I am annoyed by it. It was like those backstage brawls with the knockouts that TNA did so many damn times from late 2010 until about the middle of last year. They weren't bad on their own... it is just that they did them so many times.
And when did Dragon ever win like that in ROH?

2. I said a third of them. The NXT guys, Hawkins, Reks.

3. The fact that the crowd was into Santino and Otunga is why I didn't give this an even lower rating. The crowd being into something does not mean it is the right thing to do.

4. I agree with you about Clay. Have someone eliminate him to get heat, and use that to build to your pre-show dark match at Wrestlemania.

5. There is a difference between getting screen time and getting screen time in a dumb way that brings things down. When I say I want them to get screen time, I want WWE to cut out unproductive crap like the stupid Santino & Teddy Long segments and Sheamus beating Jinder Mahal for the 194th straight time and use those five or six minutes to let guys like Drew McIntyre, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel go out there and show what they can do in the ring. NONE of these guys belong in an Elimination Chamber match for the World Title base don their current card position and what they have been doing recently.

1. Dragon defended his title successfully via count out and time limit a LOT of times in ROH (at Gut Check, Fight of the Century, and I thought he did it to Cabana on another show as well). It's not a DQ, but I consider it all the same; he didn't BEAT his opponent. I don't mind it so much now bc at least he doesn't just get the crap beat out of him every match like Miz did last year (when everyone was talking about how "brilliant" he was in escaping with the title; Dragon's been significantly more genius in his holding of the title). He has hard fought matches, with good action; then he finds a way out of it without actually beating the challenger. It does suck that he keeps winning by DQ, but at least he makes it different every time. I guess it doesn't bother ME much; I was just surprised that you don't like it.

2. I figured you knew the NXT guys; I did and I only watched the first season. And I know you know Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins.

3. What the hell were they spose to do? ALL of their top guys are already in the chamber or injured. Who the hell else o they have to choose from?

4. yea; This was their biggest mistake imo

5. I can't argue with the fact that none of those guys deserved to be in the Chamber match, but what is SD! to do? They have an open spot they must fill and these are all the guys that are left. When you're at a restuarant and they run out of Ribeyes, there's nothing you can do but order something else; there are no more Ribeyes. This is why I think they really need to end the brand extension; SD! has two solid faces (Orton and Sheamus; Show too I guest) and Raw has four (Cena (barely hanging in there), Ryder ("injured" and could possibly turn on Cena as they head into Mania), Truth and Kofi (both of whom still need to take that last step)) That's not enough. They need to start putting guys like Gabriel and Riley on twice a week to help them build SOMETHING so that you don't have to have a battle Royal to replace someone with guys who have NO chance of walking out of the Elimination Chamber with the title.

[badnewzxl]

Sheamus was eliminated from the Survivor Series match the very same way; and a match against Cody a week or two before Survivor Series. They're pushing Sheamus' aggression

Which is great and all... but they need to find another way to do it. The same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again gets stale.

They've done it three times over four months; I don't think that's stale (esp since they haven't done it since November)

[Big Red Machine]

you didn't think Dragon v. Sheamus was good? REALLY?! That was a pretty good match; it made Dragon look strong while not throwing Sheamus under the bus. It also gave us a great look at the potential WM main event. Besides the DQ (which I didn't think was bad at all; considering Dragon has been winning matches this way on purpose and he did pretty much the same in ROH) what else was wrong with the match?

It may have been on Superstars, but not long ago Mahal beat Zeke straight up; Hunico beat Zeke around that time as well (straight up)

and you (who are more than informed about wrestling) didn't recognize anybody in the battle royal? C'mon, BRM, don't bs us; you knew who those guys were. Hell, I knew who ALL those guys were; it was basically everyone who's still around from NXT and all the other lower level talents in WWE. Santino and Otunga REALLY had the crowd into it at the end.

I liked the fact that the battle royal included who it did (though Brodus Clay would have been a GREAT addition and eliminating him could have been a great way to get heat on someone like Mahal, Hunico, McIntyre, or Otunga) bc it gave those guys a chance to shine. I'm happy with Santino, but I was rooting for McIntyre (who I initially thought would win) and Riley (who I am still baffled they don't push considering how over he is with the crowd).

I'm just pretty surprised by your review; esp when it comes to the battle royal. ppl are always complaining about how these guys don't get any screen time, then when they do, ppl complain about it.

1. Dragon vs Sheamus wasn't anything great. It was a decent match (which, as you identified, was meant to tease a possible main event at Mania), but it was just that they have done a similar finish SO MANY TIMES recently that I am annoyed by it. It was like those backstage brawls with the knockouts that TNA did so many damn times from late 2010 until about the middle of last year. They weren't bad on their own... it is just that they did them so many times.
And when did Dragon ever win like that in ROH?

2. I said a third of them. The NXT guys, Hawkins, Reks.

3. The fact that the crowd was into Santino and Otunga is why I didn't give this an even lower rating. The crowd being into something does not mean it is the right thing to do.

4. I agree with you about Clay. Have someone eliminate him to get heat, and use that to build to your pre-show dark match at Wrestlemania.

5. There is a difference between getting screen time and getting screen time in a dumb way that brings things down. When I say I want them to get screen time, I want WWE to cut out unproductive crap like the stupid Santino & Teddy Long segments and Sheamus beating Jinder Mahal for the 194th straight time and use those five or six minutes to let guys like Drew McIntyre, Tyson Kidd, and Justin Gabriel go out there and show what they can do in the ring. NONE of these guys belong in an Elimination Chamber match for the World Title base don their current card position and what they have been doing recently.

1. Dragon defended his title successfully via count out and time limit a LOT of times in ROH (at Gut Check, Fight of the Century, and I thought he did it to Cabana on another show as well). It's not a DQ, but I consider it all the same; he didn't BEAT his opponent. I don't mind it so much now bc at least he doesn't just get the crap beat out of him every match like Miz did last year (when everyone was talking about how "brilliant" he was in escaping with the title; Dragon's been significantly more genius in his holding of the title). He has hard fought matches, with good action; then he finds a way out of it without actually beating the challenger. It does suck that he keeps winning by DQ, but at least he makes it different every time. I guess it doesn't bother ME much; I was just surprised that you don't like it.

2. I figured you knew the NXT guys; I did and I only watched the first season. And I know you know Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins.

3. What the hell were they spose to do? ALL of their top guys are already in the chamber or injured. Who the hell else o they have to choose from?

4. yea; This was their biggest mistake imo

5. I can't argue with the fact that none of those guys deserved to be in the Chamber match, but what is SD! to do? They have an open spot they must fill and these are all the guys that are left. When you're at a restuarant and they run out of Ribeyes, there's nothing you can do but order something else; there are no more Ribeyes. This is why I think they really need to end the brand extension; SD! has two solid faces (Orton and Sheamus; Show too I guest) and Raw has four (Cena (barely hanging in there), Ryder ("injured" and could possibly turn on Cena as they head into Mania), Truth and Kofi (both of whom still need to take that last step)) That's not enough. They need to start putting guys like Gabriel and Riley on twice a week to help them build SOMETHING so that you don't have to have a battle Royal to replace someone with guys who have NO chance of walking out of the Elimination Chamber with the title.

1. Finding a way to get his opponent DQed is MUCH different than retaining via count-out or time limit draw. Fight Of The Century andEpic Encounter II were legitimate draws that made both Dragon and his challenger look strong. Gut Check was also a legitimate draw which in which Dragon cheated at the end to even the score up, getting heat on him for being a dirty cheater.

2. I haven't watched NXT since the second to last episode of the Divas season. I know who Hawkins and Reks are (same with Titus O'neil and Percy Watson), but I wouldn't recognize them.

3. As I said, McIntyre could have been bumped up and, while he wouldn't look like a top guy, we do know that he can be one (since he was one before) and it would help his angle.

5. You are misdiagnosing the problem. First, remember that WWE has four major names on the shelf right now (Christian, Mark Henry, Rey, & Del Rio), plus both Orton and Ryder are kayfabe injured. But even if that were not the case and those guys weren't even in the company, the reason this show cannot have anything resembling an undercard that someone would give a damn about is not because WWE doesn't have enough guys who are big enough names to fill out an entertaining undercard. There aren't enough guys to fill out an undercard that anyone would care about because WWE is doing not one but two gimmick matches which require SIX TOP GUYS in each match... for no reason other than for the sake of doing the gimmick match (which is a terrible reason to do it).

6. Exposure means nothing if you don't use it well. Look at the guys who have gotten over recently in WWE: Dragon, Cody, Sheamus, Miz, Del Rio, Barrett. It wasn't the extra time on TV that got them over. It was being booked and pushed competently. If I remember correctly, Del Rio debuted on Smackdown and made at most two appearances on Raw before he won the Royal Rumble. Compare them to guys like Dibiase and Mahal. They have been on both shows... but they have been booked poorly, and thus they aren't over.

And since the Smackdown guys have been allowed to appear on Raw, who has gotten hurt the most? The Raw undercard guys. Grab a pen and paper and give try to write down all of the Raw roster, then all of the smackdown roster. Then take the following quiz and compare you list to how you actually did. I will bet that you get a lot more of the lower card guy on Smackdown than you do on Raw... because the Smackdown bottom of the card guys actually get time on their own show, while that time on Raw is instead given to the Smackdown guys.

[kiel297]

Now, the divas match finish made me absolutely fucking furious. Bringing the flatulence gimmick into the matches is fucking ridiculous and distasteful, and it makes an absolute mockery of the raw talent that Natalya possesses. To have the finish be that Natalya farting distracts the referee is an absolute insult to her, everyone else involved, and everyone watching the product.

As for the main event? I'm a Santino mark, so I'm perfectly okay with it :3

[Big Red Machine]

Now, the divas match finish made me absolutely f***ing furious. Bringing the flatulence gimmick into the matches is f***ing ridiculous and distasteful, and it makes an absolute mockery of the raw talent that Natalya possesses. To have the finish be that Natalya farting distracts the referee is an absolute insult to her, everyone else involved, and everyone watching the product.

Wait... is that what this was supposed to be? That is absolutely HILARIOUS!

This is the announcers' fault for not explaining it.,

[kiel297]

Now, the divas match finish made me absolutely f***ing furious. Bringing the flatulence gimmick into the matches is f***ing ridiculous and distasteful, and it makes an absolute mockery of the raw talent that Natalya possesses. To have the finish be that Natalya farting distracts the referee is an absolute insult to her, everyone else involved, and everyone watching the product.

Wait... is that what this was supposed to be? That is absolutely HILARIOUS!

This is the announcers' fault for not explaining it.,

If it had been any other diva that this gimmick had been given to, I'd agree. But I don't wanna see Nattie humiliated like this.