BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 3rd, '19, 14:00

During the opening crowd pan there was a sign that said “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?” Fantastic.
On that note, our commentary team for tonight is Tom Phillips, Aiden English, & Renee Young.


PAUL HEYMAN & BROCK LESNAR PROMO- good
Pual tells us that Brock is extremely angry. He then shows us the entire Brock vs. Cain match from Crown Jewel. Yes, the whole thing. If you’re wondering how they could do that, well… the entire thing went less than three minutes. Yeah. They paid Cain for less than three minutes of action. As you know by now, Brock won clean.
Brock proceeded to beat Cain up with a chair after the match so Rey Mysterio Jr. came out to make the save with a chair of his own. Rey delivered what somehow managed to look like a really great beating to Brock even though Brock was still able to roll out of the ring, land on his feet and walk to the back with little trouble after about fifteen chair shots. I know that sounds oxymoronic, but it worked.
Heyman then said that he went to Vince to get Brock vs. Rey booked but Vince said he couldn’t do it because of the roster split. Heyman, possibly in an attempt to explain why Vince couldn’t just declare another Wildcard Rule, phrased it by saying that the wrestlers were contractually obligated to be exclusive to the networks rather than the shows.
“But wait! That doesn’t make any sense!” you explain. “After all, didn’t the wrestlers all sign their contracts BEFORE the draft?” That’s correct. But I chose to read Paul’s statement as referring to the contact that WWE signed with Fox. In other words, as part of the deal for picking up Smackdown, Fox required that SD wrestlers only appear on SD, at which point USA demanded the same (possibly in exchange for putting USA on the air), and now we have a system in place that makes sense. HOORAY FOR KAYFABE!
And because Smackdown wrestlers can’t be on Raw, WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar quits Smackdown… and he’ll be on Raw next week, hunting for Rey. Well… I guess that also solves the problem of Smackdown having two world titles and Raw having none.
Renee was insistent that this is something Brock can’t do. “You have a contract; you have to honor it. You can’t just quit.”
They showed us Brock and Heyman walking backstage. Heyman steered Brock down one path instead of another because he apparently knew that Triple H and Shawn Michaels were hanging out down that corridor. Hunter poked his head onto the screen in the sort of idiotically comical way that is exactly what WWE needs to not be doing right now, then the camera panned over to reveal that Shawn was standing next to him in a similarly comical manner.

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Bayley(c) (w/Sasha Banks) vs. Nikki Cross- 6/10
Renee is still doing her painful flip-flopping act. English, meanwhile, is a total babyface tonight, even though he was a heel last week on 205 Live. Is it really that hard to have your commentators be consistent with their moral stances? Both of them were obnoxiously overdramatic while they debated the subject of Bayley. With Aiden it’s at least in character, but that character is heel character and he’s supposed to be a babyface.
Bayley won after interference from Sasha. The crowd was solidly behind Bayley the whole time, killing the heel turn. At least someone thought to give her a new heel finisher now.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- worrisome
Shayna Baszler came out of the crowd and attacked everyone. She used NONE of her usual NXT moves, instead using knee strikes and this goofy sit-out gut-wrench slam. I don’t see them calling her up right now, so what this likely means is that they’re way of making up to the fans for advertised stars not being here is hot-shotting NXT involvement at Survivor Series because Survivor Series is the appointed time in the annual cycle where the brands must fight each other.

Pat McAfee has replaced Aiden English on commentary. No explanation was given as for why this happened other than Hunter said so. Hopefully it’s an upgrade. In other commentary-related news, right behind the announcers is a sign reading “my other sign got delayed in Saudi Arabia.”

SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS SAMI ZAYN- terrible
We just saw someone who isn’t supposed to be here jump the guardrails and beat up three wrestlers, and Sarah Schreiber, in as jolly a manner as possible, talks up how this even as been “unpredictable.” If I could expunge that word from WWE’s vocabulary, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Sami Zayn theorizes that “maybe NXT is here” and that they are “trying to take advantage of Smackdown.” His evidence for this is the presences of Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Shayna Baszler, and Pat McAfee. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t associate Shawn Michaels with NXT. Yes, he’s a coach there sometimes, but he’s made a million guest appearances without them associating him with NXT, so why should this time be different?
I didn’t even realize McAfee was supposed to be an NXT guy. I thought he was just one of their regular rotating pre-show dorks. He’s never someone I would directly associate with NXT. My only memory of him as getting yelled at by Michael Cole for wearing shorts at WrestleMania, which is decidedly not an NXT show.
And Hunter… isn’t he backstage at EVERY show? He’s a key company executive, isn’t he? He’s a McMahon. If you stick him on WWE TV, no one in their right mind would think “NXT invasion.” They’d think “Hunter is here to do some sort of angle for his next match” or “Hunter is here to help give an insufferable McMahon speech.”
It’s just Baszler. Why would anyone think NXT is invading?

So Sami talks a big game about NXT until Matt Riddle and Keith Lee shows up. Sami goes into full loser goof mode and we spent WAY too much time on him trying to talk his way out of a beating. Eventually they get him in the ring, at which point Sami forgets that he can move in more than one direction, so he is trapped in the ring. He throws a punch at Riddle but Riddle ducks it and they beat him up. Why did they even feel the need to confront him in the first place, though? They came across like bully douchebags who couldn’t stand the fact that this obviously inferior goofball was running his mouth, and not even on them in particular. Just on their “brand,” which they apparently give a sh*t about.

MIZTV SEGMENT- meh
Miz was supposed to interview Bray Wyatt after his Universal Title victory, but he can’t be here right now. Well why not? He’s got magical powers of teleportation, doesn’t he? We’ve seen him use them many times. So why can’t he just teleport home to Saudi Arabia? Hell, if he can teleport from the Firefly Funhouse set to any arena around the country, surely he could have teleported from the airport in Riyadh to an airport in a friendlier city like Kuwait City or Amman or Tel Aviv or Abu Dhabi and fly home from there, right? Or why can’t he just Skype in? We know they have internet in Saudi Arabia because the wrestlers have been tweeting about their displeasure with all of this.
He starts to talk about NXT instead but his interrupted by Tommaso Ciampa. And he didn’t even jump the guardrail, either. He just came out from the back. Yes, Hunter let them all in, but then why did Baslzer come out from the crowd? If this is supposed to be an invasions, it’s absolutely terrible strategy that is only working because Smackdown is adhering to conventional standards of pro wrestling that are exactly the thing that are supposed to be dropped in the face of the existential threat like we’re supposed to take invasion angles to be. This isn’t strategy; it’s a ratings ploy. It’s a little game where we’re supposed to be stay tuned in to see which NXT wrestler will interrupt each segment.
Ciampa cut a promo burying Miz for basically “playing” pro wrestling rather than actually being one. Miz said others have said that before and that he knows who Ciampa is and then makes the ridiculous claim that “people have always told me that they want to see The Miz and Ciampa battle it out on the mic.” I doubt one single, solitary person other than Miz himself has EVER had that thought. Miz wasn’t wrong, however, that Ciampa’s criticism of him is completely unoriginal. That doesn’t make it wrong, but it does make this segment a lot less interesting, as rather than something new, they’ve just opened up their usual playbook and looked under M for Miz and chose play #3.
One other thing I have to note here is that Ciampa’s little stutter made him seem so much more human than The Miz (or so many of the other people we see on the main roster). He came across as someone who actually had thoughts going through his head in real time rather than someone reciting scripted lines, and like someone whose emotions were so strong that they were almost getting in the way of him talking, as opposed to Miz who comes across like exactly what Ciampa says he is, which is someone playing a part.
Anyway, these two booked their own match, so we got…

THE MIZ vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA- 6/10
During this match, as basically a throwaway line, Pat McAfee said “At Survivor Series, it’s not just Smackdown; it’s not just Raw; they called out NXT. WHAT?! WHEN?! This seems like something that we should have been shown the f*cking moment Baszler showed up instead of everyone being confused as to why these NXT people are here.
This was a very good match for the time it got, but I don’t think going 50-50 with The Miz before beating him is the best way to put Ciampa over strong. Tom Phillips screamed about how “an NXT Superstar™ just beat a Smackdown Superstar™ on his own freaking show!” WHO CARES WHAT SHOW IT’S ON?! And right after that we got Pat McAfee telling us that Ciampa had gotten a big win not just for himself but for all of NXT, and then Tom Phillips saying the same thing but with the order reversed. It’s been years of this bullsh*t and they still haven’t learned that no one cares about or even believes that there is any sort of animosity between the various brands.

DANIEL BRYAN BUMPS INTO SHAWN MICHAELS AND TRIPLE H BACKSTAGE- bad
Bryan demands to know what they’re doing here. Hunter explain that he feels “called out” by WWE advertising “Raw vs. Smackdown vs. NXT” during a commercial on Crown Jewel. So am I supposed to believe that the main roster was planning on booking Hunter’s wrestlers on one of their shows and Hunter didn’t know about it? And, now that I think about it, who is “the company?” For the past few weeks they’ve tried to put us under the impression that it’s Fox and USA that are making decisions for their respective shows, but this is an advertisement for a PPV that aired on another PPV. THIS WHOLE THING MAKES NO SENSE!
Bryan says that if Hunter wants to fight, they should go have a match right now. Hunter declines because he didn’t bring his gear. Isn’t that pretty much rule #1 of being a pro wrestlers. ALWAYS bring your gear?
Hunter offers Bryan a different opponent by yelling “CHAMP!” and out comes Adam Cole from about five feet away, standing in a place where there was no possible way Bryan couldn’t have seen him. Bryan says that if they’re going to wrestle, they should make it a title match, so Hunter makes it official. Did we really go on the air with one match booked, plus one talk-show segment with an absentee guest?

Oh. Sorry. TWO matches and a talk show with an absentee guest.
FIRE & DESIRE vs. CARMELLA & DANA BROOKE- no rating, never happened
Bianca Belair because Carmella and Dana up backstage. Then Rhea Ripley’s music hit and she came out and Tegan Nox came out together while Kayla announced that we were now getting…

FIRE & DESIRE vs. TEGAN NOX & RHEA RIPLEY- no rating, okay squash
It’s not like Tegan Nox has an established tag team partner or anything. No. It’s more important to put Rhea on TV. I’m not sure how Kayla knew that this was an official replacement in the match rather than just an attack, but she did. Maybe she’s in on it, too, and we’ll eventually get to see her beat up Greg Hamilton next week (but not choke him with a tie because that would be too violent).
Also, please note that we have now hit that new level of problematic Survivor Series bullsh*t that I was hoping we could avoid with this, but apparently not. As part of the same plan, we have Bianca Belair working to clear the way for who women who just two days ago William Regal announced that she would be on the opposite side of a WAR GAMES MATCH from. But no. I guess f*cking brand loyalty is just that strong (in this one month of the year that we hear about it).
When Rhea and Tegan came out, Renee Young, who had been (rightfully) pointing out that these NXT people are generally being assholes and attacking people for no good reason and usually from behind, let out an excited “OOOHHHOOOO! We’ve got the Shiniest Wizard in the house tonight!” Is she too dumb to realize that they’re all working together, or does she just love Tegan Nox (who we’ve never seen her interact with before) so much that she no longer cares about morality?
And about ten seconds later, once the match has started, Renee is back to decrying this as not being fair. PICK A SIDE AND STICK WITH IT!

STEPH MAKES A SPEECH- In the first ten seconds she used the phrases “WWE Universe™,” “started a movement” and “created change” and “Women’s Evolution™.” She proceeded to predictably pat herself on the back for Nattie and Lacey “making history” by becoming the first women to “compete in a match” in Saudi Arabia (because G-d forbid we say the word “wrestle”). She pitched to a video package which of course started with all of the news headlines they could find about them making history with this match. Then we saw what the women had to wear. Bodysuits weren’t enough. They had to wear a t-shirts over their bodysuits, to hide any and all curves. But they got to wrestle a match and that’s what’s important, so WHY WON’T YOU MAINSTEAM PEOPLE GIVE US ANY FEMINISM AWARDS! You know what? F*ck you! We don’t need your awards! We’ll just make a “Most Feminist Sports Entertainment Company” Slammy Award and give it to ourselves every year, dammit!
More headlines, then a whole bunch of tweets from a whole bunch of people who are IN THE COMPANY. Then we heard Michael Cole declare it to be “an emotional night for women worldwide,” followed by Renee reiterating that point once we got back live. The match went 7:21, and they spent close to three minutes patting themselves on the back for putting it on (and that’s assuming they don’t do anything similar on Raw). If you want to do something like this, just do it. Coming out and begging the world to give you credit for doing it only exposes your pathetic motives for doing it in the first place.

Tom Phillips that WWE has had a historic week “worldwide,” having been “there and back again.” Really, tom? Because it seems to me like not everyone is back yet.

NXT TITLE MATCH: Adam Cole(c) vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.25/10
Shawn and Hunter are watching from ringside. Renee Young described this match as a “dream match,” which just makes you wonder why WWE would throw a dream match on TV with less than an hour’s worth of build, and in a situation where we all know that the title won’t change hands, so instead of asking who is going to win, we’re wondering whether Cole will win clean or whether we’ll get a f*ck finish.
Despite Hunter being kind of a douche and his wrestlers being the ones using heelish tactics all night (strangely enough, except for Ciampa), and Dragon currently being a baybface on SD while Cole is and always has been a heel on NXT, it’s Dragon who is wrestling like the heel here, including yelling to Hunter that Cole “doesn’t belong in the ring with me.”
Well… at least the match was awesome and they gave us a clean finish. Cole worked over Bryan’s neck while Bryan did his submission stuff. Also, he did a Spider Suplex, which I mention whenever someone does because it’s my second-favorite move ever, right after the chokeslam.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Hunter’s reference to his promo on the Raw the night after WrestleMania XIV was very clever, but I’m more than happy to not get that if I it also means that I don’t have to see PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO BE ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF A WAR GAMES MATCH HUGGING EACH OTHER!

At one point early on in the main event, Renee Young said the following:
“Look at the stakes now: We’ve got Raw, Friday Night Smackdown, and NXT all in the fold? This is going to be huge!”
No, Renee. It’s not. And I know this because those “stakes” that you mentioned are the exact same that they are EVERY year, which is NOTHING.
At a later point Tom Phillips asked us if we could imagine what would happen if the “title that Triple H created” was won by Smackdown wrestler Daniel Bryan here tonight,” and Renee Young wondered how that would affect Survivor Series. Well, Tom and Renee, supposed expert commentators, the answer to your stupid questions are pretty obvious: either there would be a rematch booked for the PPV, or, more likely, it wouldn’t matter at all because the top guys would all be in some sort of elimination match and the title wouldn’t be on the line.
But even in the general sense of Tom’s question, I have been given zero evidence to think it would matter one bit if Daniel Bryan won the NXT Title. Until less than two hours ago Smackdown had two world titles and no one seemed to care that Raw didn’t have any. And a few weeks before that the Cruiserweight Title changed from being called the “WWE Cruiserweight Title” to the “NXT Cruiserweight Title” and no one seemed to care about that, either.
I’m sure a lot of people were excited by this show, but I’m not one of them, and the reason for that is that I’ve seen them pull this trick before. In fact, they’ve done it every year since they started this most recent brand split. And it NEVER MEANS ANYTHING. Having NXT involved this year doesn’t make it better. In fact, it makes it worse, because now NXT storylines are not only going to stall out, but also be damaged by these people suddenly being friends when “brand supremacy” is at stake even though they’re also going to be fighting each other in War Games.
Here is the grand total of what the next few weeks of WWE TV will be like so that you don’t have to watch “BRAND SUPREMACY! BRANDY SUPREMACY! BRAND SUPREMACY!” That’s it. A meaningless f*cking platitude for an issue that almost no one cares about. I advise everyone to skip over this period of time in WWE and instead use that time to try out a new wrestling product or maybe catch up on an old one. I’ll be using it to catch up on EVOLVE and ROH, and maybe even watch some CHIKARA, as well as maybe try to catch up omn NXT UK, one of the only two WWE brands that won’t be affected by this Survivor Series bullsh*t.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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cero2k
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Re: BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by cero2k » Nov 3rd, '19, 22:10

NXT is the young flavor of the month, but Smackdown is on FOX and RAW is RAW, they couldn't even keep Brock out of it for a month, it'll be interesting to see how the 'brand supremacy works out at SS.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 4th, '19, 07:00

cero2k wrote:
Nov 3rd, '19, 22:10
NXT is the young flavor of the month, but Smackdown is on FOX and RAW is RAW, they couldn't even keep Brock out of it for a month, it'll be interesting to see how the 'brand supremacy works out at SS.
Probably a BS tie.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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Re: BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 4th, '19, 21:44

If Brock wants a match with Rey why does he have to quit Smackdown? The next PPV is Survivor Series, which WWE builds around inter-brand matches.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by KILLdozer » Nov 4th, '19, 23:44

This announcing was soooo horrible.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 11/1/2019 Smackdown (bad aside from the main event)

Post by XIV » Nov 5th, '19, 01:10

Big Red Machine wrote:
Nov 3rd, '19, 14:00

Here is the grand total of what the next few weeks of WWE TV will be like so that you don’t have to watch “BRAND SUPREMACY! BRANDY SUPREMACY! BRAND SUPREMACY!”
The last few years you have been complaining about the severe overuse and shoving down our throats of Survivor Series being the whole "one night a year where Raw & Smackdown superstars compete against each other"...

Be careful what you wish for BRM.
Have A Nice Day!

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