OPENING SEGMENT- bad
First there was a new version of the Then Now Forever graphic. Then we were greeted with the sight of a red-haired Carmella and R-Truth with his dreads dyed blond hosting a MizTV rip-off. Did I fall into an alternate dimension or something? Carmella being a total babyface and doing stuff to get cheap babyface pops is SOOOO weird.
They bring out Daniel Bryan, and they proceed to taunt Miz. They’re also using the special upside down logo MizTV mics, which seems to mean that they have Paige’s full supporting in trolling Miz, which really isn’t something the general manager should be doing. Also, there was a dance break. Bryan started to cut a promo to build up to his #1 contendership match against The Miz at Super Show-Down but The Miz came out to interrupt. He wound up going on a long tirade about how the only way Bryan could possibly beat him is by cheating but if he were to cheat then he would forever tarnish the reputation he has spent a lifetime building. This is obviously setting something up for Super Show-Down, but I racked my brain for a bit and I didn’t really even remember Bryan doing much (if any) major cheating during his 2012 heel run, so maybe there is a little something unique to this. Truth interrupted Miz and said some dumb stuff, then another dance break happened and Miz left, exasperated. Miz bumped into Paige backstage and started to complain, but Paige was all smiles, like she was taking utter joy in Miz’s misery… and it made me feel sorry for Miz. There is no reason Truth couldn’t have done some other talk show, but all of these people- including the boss- got together and decided to do things this way just to troll him. What a bunch of douchebags.
Paige further played into Truth’s psychosis (and yes, I did accidentally spell it “Psicosis” the first time I typed it) by going along with his insane idea that beating Miz in a match a few weeks ago no means that Truth gets to control the talk show. She told Miz to go back out and wrestle Truth for the rights to the show, so we got…
WINNER GETS THE RIGHTS TO THE SMACKDOWN TALK SHOW: The Miz vs. R-Truth (w/Carmella)- 6/10
Dragon was on commentary and completely buried Miz’s kicking technique. Miz won relatively cleanly via Busaiku Knee in a match that felt a lot longer than the 9:12 it went (according to CageMatch.net.) Bryan charged the ring afterwards and Miz ran away.
BECKY ATTACKS CHARLOTTE DURING A PHOTOSHOOT EARLIER IN THE DAY- good angle
Charlotte has been sent home for precautionary injury-related reasons.
SHEAMUS (w/Cesaro) vs. BIG E. (w/The New Day)- 6.25/10
Tom Phillips felt the need to hype up that this was the first time this match-up was ever happening “on this brand,” as if having different color ropes on the ring is a historical distinction that matters in some way. Before the match, New Day cut an obnoxious promo in which they were jerks to their opponents for no reason. Sheamus & Cesaro then cut a promo saying that they were tired of New Day’s stupid jokes and they were going to beat them up and take their titles at Super Show-Down. Can someone please explain to me why I’m supposed to be cheering for New Day instead of Sheamus & Cesaro?
The match was good for the time it got, but some idiot decided that this match should get less time than R-Truth vs. Miz.
PAIGE TELLS AJ NOT TO BREAK THE TV MONITORS BECAUSE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE- whatever
RUSEV DEMANDS THAT “AIDEN THE TRAITOR” EXPLAIN WHY HE TURNED ON HIM LAST WEEK-
Aiden comes out. He’s carrying a “Happy Aiden Day” mic and wearing a “Happy Aiden Day” t-shirt. He says everything is Lana’s fault and tried to back everything up with video packages. Lana correctly points out that Rusev actually had a lot more success with her before Aiden English ever came along than he did with Aiden English. Aiden responds by insinuating that Lana cheated on Rusev “that one night in Milwaukee.” Mic drop. Aiden walks off.
Lana claims to have no idea what he is talking about. The helpful WWE fans- who had just been chanting “LANA IS THE BEST! LANA #1!” then started to chant “MILWAUKEE!” at Lana and Rusev. What a bunch of assholes.
NAOMI & ASUKA PREPARE FOR THEIR MATCH BACKSTAGE- Asuka was punching those handheld pads so hard that she was hurting Naomi’s wrists. I hope they lose the match due to Naomi submitting to a wristlock and then Naomi turns on Asuka next week because of it.
RUSEV, LANA, & BECKY BACKSTAGE- good
Rusev insists that he believes Lana, but he is still asking questions. Becky Lynch showed up to be a jerk and threaten Lana, who she is apparently wrestling later tonight.
IICONICS PROMO- Didn’t happy. We were saved by Naomi’s music.
ASUKA & NAOMI vs. THE IICONICS-
Wait… WHAT? Why are The IIconics doing at the announcers’ table? Are Naomi & Asuka wrestling someone else? And I have to listen to The IIconics for the entirety of the match. OH COME ON!
ASUKA & NAOMI vs. MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE- 2/10
SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. TYE DILLINGER- no rating, bad segment
Dillinger dominated Nakamura- yes, you read that correctly- until Orton showed up to attack Dillinger for the DQ. I guess the idea is to build to a three-way feud, but then again I also though t Orton vs. Hardy vs. Nakamura would be a three-way feud but that never materialized. I also really don’t want to see Dillinger chasing the US Title, but I suspect that is going to happen, otherwise why would he have been dominating Nakamura here and getting a DQ win over the champion?
Orton beat Dillinger up a lot, then left. Then Nakamura hit Dillinger with the Kinshasa as well.
LANA & RUSEV BACKSTAGE- good
Both characters reacted completely believably for the awkward situation their marriage is now in.
MIKE ROME INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- He wants to know why Randy attacked Dillinger. Randy says he did it because “that Perfect 10 crap just pisses me off.” Same here.
LANA vs. BECKY LYNCH- squash
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS AIDEN ENGLISH- He claims he’ll have video of whatever happened in Milwaukee on next week’s show.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE CONTRACT SIGNING- no rating, bad segment
Joe blew the contract signing off to go to AJ’s house instead. And I guess he hacked into the TitanTron somehow to get his stream on the screen? Anyway, this was all done so that AJ could become nervous and we could fade to black after Joe rang the doorbell… and then what? Wendy will look out the window, see that it’s Samoa Joe at the door, and just call the cops, right? This was extremely stupid, and was yet another example of nothing actually happening in this feud.
A very bad episode of Smackdown.
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