BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » May 1st, '18, 23:37

PAIGE GIVES US SOME NEWS- First, due to his near death at the hands of Braun Strowman at the Greatest Royal Rumble, he won’t be here tonight. In other good news, due to Nakamura’s low-blowing antics and AJ’s post-match vicious at Greatest Royal Rumble, their match at Backlash will now be No DQs so we can ensure we get a decisive winner.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUEST JEFF HARDY- The fans were chanting something at Miz, which he responded to by reminding them that he “took Maryse to Hollywood.” Great line. He also says that due to Daniel Bryan’s “no-show” last week, Bryan is now banned from MizTV. I’m sure this will be used by Miz in some future attempt to avoid Bryan’s wrath. Miz then cut a promo building to his IC Title match with Seth Rollins at Backlash.
Miz brought out Jeff Hardy, then refused to shake Jeff’s hand because “you just high-fived all of these dirty people here at ringside and I forgot my hand sanitizer.” Excellent.
There first exchange went like this:
Miz: Jeff, you think I’m a better Intercontinental Champion than Seth Rollins, don’t you?
Jeff: Is this seriously why you brought me out here?
Miz: Yeah.
I LOVE this show so far.

Barbs were exchanged. Miz brought up Jeff “disrespecting” Randy Orton on Smackdown when he ran out in front of him a few weeks ago. Miz then brought Orton out as well, though Orton’s music hit before Miz finished introducing Orton. I’m sure this will be used as a goofy pretext for Miz and Orton to exchange barbs so that we wind up with Orton & Jeff vs. Miz & Shelton Benjamin.
Randy says that he doesn’t see what the big deal is about Jeff running out in front of him to take a match. I don’t, either. Then he equates that to his own attack of Jeff last week, because in Randy Orton’s mind, these two things are apparently equal. I’m starting to see why this guy thought it was acceptable to burn down Bray Wyatt’s house.
Miz became the first person in two months to bring up that stupid Smackdown Top Ten List gimmick that they made such a big fuss about. Miz tried to use it as an example of another time Randy has been “disrespected” by his peers. Randy responded by saying “Miz, I don’t think anybody cares about any Smackdown Top Ten List.” Miz then tried to blame Jeff for Randy’s loss last week, but Jeff argued that it was the fault of the Singh Brother who attacked him. Personally, I think it’s Randy’s fault getting distracted by any of that crap in the first place.
Miz kept trying to get them to fight but they wouldn’t. Shelton Benjamin then came out and argued that beating the #1 contender Randy Orton means that he should get a title shot. Randy, like a total heel, attacked Shelton as he was coming through the ropes. Miz then attacked Randy for some reason but Jeff saved Randy and the babyfaces stood tall in the end. The physical confrontation here felt very forced and inorganic, but the talking was all good.
When we came back from commercial, we were in the middle of…

JEFF HARDY & RANDY ORTON vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & THE MIZ- 6.75/10
I could be wrong, but I think the thing the fans were chanting at Miz earlier was “OVERRATED!” These guys had a very good tag team match with a double-heat which Jeff and Randy won when Randy hit Shelton with an RKO, then tagged Jeff in so Jeff could hit a Swanton and get the pin. Randy hit Jeff with an RKO after the match ended to build up to their title match on Sunday.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE IICONICS & CARMELLA- bad
These three will be facing Charlotte, Becky, & Asuka in the main event. Carmella didn’t show up at first. Instead we got The IIconics being cringe-worthy. They chased Renee off, telling her to “go chase a moose.” Then they interviewed Carmella in an interview that basically just consisted of them saying their catchphrases.

BRYAN INTERVIEW- He’s not cleared to compete tonight because WWE medical staff are “worried he might have an infection in his chest” from Roddy chopping it to hamburger.

SHEAMUS, CESARO, & NEW DAY BACKSTAGE- all five of them were insufferable. New Day have a butler named “Mr. Bootyworth” who wears a top hat and a tuxedo t-shirt and brings them pancakes whenever they ring a bell. They offered some to Sheamus & Cesaro. Sheamus & Cesaro were suspicious, and theorized that New Day put laxatives in the pancakes. Big E. assured them that this was not the case, then said “maybe next week” and started to fondle his own tits. I swear this all happened exactly as I am describing it.
Sheamus and Cesaro threw the pancakes away and Sheamus demanded to fight one of them tonight. Big E. accepted the challenge, but Sheamus said he was talking to Xavier. Xavier vowed to take Sheamus’ soul. Sheamus laughed in his face.

RUSEV DAY BACKSTAGE- Aiden English was about to rehearse a new Rusev Day song, but stopped because Lana showed up. She got the biggest pop of the night thus far by quite a bit. She was wearing a shirt that said HA PY RUSEV DAY” because they had to cut out an entire P to cut it low enough to show some cleavage. Aiden English was smart enough to f*ck off. Lana said that she thinks something is holding Rusev back, with the implication being that it’s Aiden English. They might want to pre-taped Lana’s next segment rather than do it live in order to make sure that she doesn’t forget her accent again.

BIG CASS PROMO- Cass cut a very good promo on Bryan. The fans were very into booing him and chanting something at him that I couldn’t understand (though it sounded like “F*CK THE GIANT!”) He called Bryan out, but of course we know that Bryan isn’t cleared to compete tonight, so this is really an act of cowardice. Bryan’s music did hit, though… and out lame a little person Daniel Bryan imitator. Cass made a bunch of short jokes that would have worked if the Little Person had been able to be more expressive (probably not his fault, as he was wearing both a wig and a fake beard) and if some of the lines hadn’t been so completely corny.
Cass then introduced the Little Person as a Mr. “Pierre Lafleur of Montreal,” and you know the moment that he said that the Little Person was from Montreal, he was going get beaten up before this was over. Cass did, in fact, attack him, and the fans chanted “ASSHOLE!” at him. Overall, a good segment.

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BUILD SEGMENT- good
This was billed as “Shinsuke Nakamura demands an apology.” It started with Renee Young bringing AJ Styles out to the ring. At this point it occurred to me that Renee Young is the only Canadian WWE employee we’ve seen all night.
AJ cut a meh promo on Nakamura, the said that if Nakamura wants an apology he should come out here himself. Instead of Nakamura, Samoa Joe came out and started to cut a promo on Roman Reigns, which felt totally out of place here. Joe then announced that he is coming for the winner of AJ vs. Nakamura.
Then Nakamura’s music hit and Joe immediately turned around and squared up to fight him when he came out… but Nakamura came out through the crowd and hit AJ in the nuts from behind. I liked that they didn’t cut to the camera focused on AJ until Nakamura had already hit AJ in the nuts. That explains why AJ didn’t see Nakamura coming on the TitanTron. Because Nakamura wouldn’t have been on it. Nakamura taunted AJ a lot afterwards, then laid him out with a Kinshasa. This part of this segment was quite great.

BABYFACE WOMEN BACKSTAGE- bad
We see Becky Lynch pacing around the locker room and gesticulating wildly, seemingly talking to herself like a madwoman until after almost half a minute the camera pans back to reveal that Asuka is there as well. She tells Becky not to worry about making her lose her “first match on Smackdown.” Asuka said that “this week we kick back three times as hard,” at which point you knew from WWE’s frustratingly formulaic backstage writing that the camera would pan over and reveal Charlotte there as well. She cut a promo Carmella, at which point Becky interjected with some random point. Asuka was then given tonight’s forced pop culture reference by comparing the three of them to The Avengers. She did this while acting like a hyperactive eight-old. Charlotte and Becky then did their dumb tea-drinking handshake.

SHEAMUS (w/Cesaro) vs. XAVIER WOODS (w/Kofi Kingston & Big E.)- 5/10
Byron Saxton said “I can’t believe the bar rejected a gift from Mr. Bootysworth,” which reminded me why I despise so much about this company. Then we got Cesaro distracting Woods by trying to sell him pancakes he was carrying on the inside of his jacket, like a guy selling stolen watches on the street in a cartoon. Corey Graves said that these might well be “bootleg pancakes.” I hate this pancake gimmick so much. Woods eventually won by roll-up after a bunch of stuff happened on the outside.

CLIPS FROM AFTER LAST WEEK’S SHOW OF MANDY & SONYA MAKING FUN OF BECKY FOR LOSING- they did this right in front of Becky, who was being attended to by a medical person. They were jerks, so Becky threatened to hurt them.

PAIGE OF THE FALL REUNION IN PAIGE’S OFFICE- amusing.
After some joking around, Sonya & Mandy say “we know why you called us here. We just want to know who is it going to be” between Mandy or Sonya. Paige says it’s going to be Mandy, who jumps up and down in excitement. She thinks she’s getting a title shot but Paige tells her she’s actually wrestling Becky Lynch next week. Predictable? Of course. But that doesn’t make it any less funny. In fact, I think that actually made it funnier.

ZELINA VEGA PHONE PROMO- bad. Not because of her but because of their stupid words on the screen gimmick. She said Almas would debut on Smackdown soon, but she wouldn’t tell us when. Then Almas said that he is El Idolo.


THE IICONICS & CARMELLA vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR, BECKY LYNCH, & ASUKA- 6.75/10
Tom Phillips pointed out that if Charlotte wins the title on Sunday, she will already be tied with Trish for the most women’s title reigns of all time. She has been on the main roster for less than three full years.
Carmella’s bright blue singlet with a giant dollar sign on and the word “fabulous” on it is SOOOOO eighties, but she makes it work.
This was the Match of the Night, but not by much over the opener. They had some good teases of Becky making the hot tag during the heat, and Asuka was totally awesome running wild when she finally got in.

This was a decent episode of Smackdown. It was kind of meh as a go-home show, but it then again it really didn’t have much to promote. The past few weeks have Smackdown have seen a definite change in the show. It feels a lot less like Raw now and a lot more like an old-school primetime wrestling TV show where everything is intended to build to the PPV and they’re content to give you matches that will be effective teases rather than trying to give you awesome matches like Raw does.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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XIV
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by XIV » May 2nd, '18, 05:32

This show was limited by what it could promote leading to Sunday, it's put in between the GRR and Backlash, so apart from Nakamura/AJ stuff there wasn't too much to build.

I think Paige is going to take some time to get used to an authority role, but she'll get there.

Also, Cass's promo annoyed me because he moved around too much. Cameras had to keep flicking everywhere, so whilst the content was okay, there was a distracting factor.

I am bored with the New Day. A Big E heel turn would be absolutely perfect about now (setting Kofi and Woods to go solo, or tag team).

Also, what do you do with Aiden English if you split him from Rusev? He just isn't a strong enough character to work on his own. His short singles run following the departure of Simon Gotch proves that.
"While you're looking at Bop, I'll hit you with Bang. You day see that coming"

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 2nd, '18, 11:22

Even as someone that loves pancakes...enough already. There's literally nothing to it. Then again my opinion on everything they do is known clearly. Enough New Day already.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 2nd, '18, 17:22

Mis has quickly become the same act week in and week out. Maybe it's just the gimmick and routine he's doing, but I feel like it's all the same every time mostly.

I feel it's time for a change somehow.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 2nd, '18, 18:04

Pretty sure all these double brand PPV matches are going towards the end of the brand split. I mean, it doesn't seem like one is there anymore anyway.

Also, Phillips and Saxton make SD almost unbearable.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Earth Child » May 3rd, '18, 03:59

In my mind I have repackaged Royce and Kay into a real Aussie team.

Their team name will be The Sheilas and 1 will be called Shazza and the other Darlene.

They will be billed from Murrumbidgee New South Wales and their finisher will be "up shit creek without a paddle" and secondary finisher will be "900 Dollaridoos!"

Didgeridoo music turning into something AC/DC like will play them in.

Outfits will consist of Ugg boots and green and gold colour schemes.

Gimmick will be challenging people to beer drinking contests (legit, my boyfriend's Mum can out-drink all of his friends) and getting people to guess what the phrase "fang it!" And "pass me a durry?" means

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Earth Child » May 3rd, '18, 04:01

And just FYI we don't all sound like those two when we talk. I promise! It's not all through the nose

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 3rd, '18, 07:53

Earth Child wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 04:01
And just FYI we don't all sound like those two when we talk. I promise! It's not all through the nose
Oh...I legitimately thought that that's exactly what you sounded like....
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » May 3rd, '18, 07:59

Earth Child wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 03:59
In my mind I have repackaged Royce and Kay into a real Aussie team.

Their team name will be The Sheilas and 1 will be called Shazza and the other Darlene.

They will be billed from Murrumbidgee New South Wales and their finisher will be "up shit creek without a paddle" and secondary finisher will be "900 Dollaridoos!"

Didgeridoo music turning into something AC/DC like will play them in.

Outfits will consist of Ugg boots and green and gold colour schemes.

Gimmick will be challenging people to beer drinking contests (legit, my boyfriend's Mum can out-drink all of his friends) and getting people to guess what the phrase "fang it!" And "pass me a durry?" means
Post of the Year.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Earth Child
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Earth Child » May 3rd, '18, 18:28

Big Red Machine wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 07:59
Earth Child wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 03:59
In my mind I have repackaged Royce and Kay into a real Aussie team.

Their team name will be The Sheilas and 1 will be called Shazza and the other Darlene.

They will be billed from Murrumbidgee New South Wales and their finisher will be "up shit creek without a paddle" and secondary finisher will be "900 Dollaridoos!"

Didgeridoo music turning into something AC/DC like will play them in.

Outfits will consist of Ugg boots and green and gold colour schemes.

Gimmick will be challenging people to beer drinking contests (legit, my boyfriend's Mum can out-drink all of his friends) and getting people to guess what the phrase "fang it!" And "pass me a durry?" means
Post of the Year.
Thanks 8-)

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by XIV » May 4th, '18, 05:22

Big Red Machine wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 07:59
Earth Child wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 03:59
In my mind I have repackaged Royce and Kay into a real Aussie team.

Their team name will be The Sheilas and 1 will be called Shazza and the other Darlene.

They will be billed from Murrumbidgee New South Wales and their finisher will be "up shit creek without a paddle" and secondary finisher will be "900 Dollaridoos!"

Didgeridoo music turning into something AC/DC like will play them in.

Outfits will consist of Ugg boots and green and gold colour schemes.

Gimmick will be challenging people to beer drinking contests (legit, my boyfriend's Mum can out-drink all of his friends) and getting people to guess what the phrase "fang it!" And "pass me a durry?" means
Post of the Year.
firstly I agree. This had me in absolute stitches... secondly... indulge an Englishman... I'm assuming "fang it" either means the same as "damn it" or looking alternatively, it could mean "eat it" ... but I'm absolutely dying to know what "pass me a durry" means. I could Google it, but it's fun and less authentic than being taught by an actual Aussie.
"While you're looking at Bop, I'll hit you with Bang. You day see that coming"

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 4th, '18, 08:36

I already know what both mean lol
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Earth Child
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by Earth Child » May 4th, '18, 17:49

XIV wrote:
May 4th, '18, 05:22
Big Red Machine wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 07:59
Earth Child wrote:
May 3rd, '18, 03:59
In my mind I have repackaged Royce and Kay into a real Aussie team.

Their team name will be The Sheilas and 1 will be called Shazza and the other Darlene.

They will be billed from Murrumbidgee New South Wales and their finisher will be "up shit creek without a paddle" and secondary finisher will be "900 Dollaridoos!"

Didgeridoo music turning into something AC/DC like will play them in.

Outfits will consist of Ugg boots and green and gold colour schemes.

Gimmick will be challenging people to beer drinking contests (legit, my boyfriend's Mum can out-drink all of his friends) and getting people to guess what the phrase "fang it!" And "pass me a durry?" means
Post of the Year.
firstly I agree. This had me in absolute stitches... secondly... indulge an Englishman... I'm assuming "fang it" either means the same as "damn it" or looking alternatively, it could mean "eat it" ... but I'm absolutely dying to know what "pass me a durry" means. I could Google it, but it's fun and less authentic than being taught by an actual Aussie.
Fang it! Means to go faster or to drag race. Usually whilst in a V8 Holden commodore at a set of traffic lights next to a nother modified V8 or suped up car

"Oi look! Another hoon is next to us! Fang it mate!"

And pass me a durry simply means past me a cigarette. Not so much any more but a lot of Aussies used to smoke with Winfield blues (or Winnie blues) being the brand of choice. I'm not sure how Durry comes in but it's a common term for ciggies.

And despite being a Simpsons creation, a lot of people do refer to money as dollarydoos here. Or at least people my age. There was even a petition to have it officially changed.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/1/2018 Smackdown

Post by XIV » May 5th, '18, 04:51

If Australia change their currency to dollaridoos the first thing I’ll do is book a flight to Aus.
"While you're looking at Bop, I'll hit you with Bang. You day see that coming"

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