BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 20th, '18, 20:54

BRYAN SPEECH- Owens & Zayn aren’t here yet, so he’s going to talk about his return instead. He gave a big speech. It was really emotional.
He says he doesn’t know when he’ll wrestle again. Everyone else in the building seems to think it will be at WrestleMania. They’re even pointing at the sign.

BRYAN RUNS INTO PEOPLE BACKSTAGE- First there was Charles Robinson, who he told to send Owens & Zayn to his office the moment they arrive. Then there was Ziggler, who was a dick to him.

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. RUSEV (w/Aiden English)- 6.5/10
AJ Styles was on guest commentary. Corey Graves immediately wished him a “Happy Rusev Day.” Nakamura won but got jumped afterwards. AJ returned the douchy non-favor to Nakamura from last week by taking forever to get off his ass and make the save… but this time Nakamura was actually able to fight the heels off on his own before AJ had to get physical with anyone. This was a nice variation on the usual, but the whole thing doesn’t actually make me like either of them.

ASUKA VIDEO PACKAGE- fine.

CHARLOTTE & NATTIE BACKSTAGE- Nattie says Charlotte is scared. Charlotte stole Alexa’s cat-nip line but said it in a creepy voice. Nattie cut a promo on Asuka, which I figured would lead to them blowing that match on free TV but instead they got smart and are just giving us Nattie vs. Charlotte again. This was better than the usual SD women’s backstage segment.

AJ & NAKAMURA BACKSTAGE- meh.

BARON CORBIN vs. TYE DILLINGER- squash
Before this match, Corey Graves told us that both of these losers will compete in the Andre The Giant Memorial Loser Free-For-All. That announcement made me care about this match even less than I otherwise would have, which is actually quite the impressive achievement.

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. NATALYA- 6.75/10
This was on track to be a great match until it got interrupted for an… interesting finish. Basically, Carmella ran out to cash in MITB during a double-down and while she was giving her referee the briefcase, Charlotte hit her with a big boot, but then Nattie rolled Charlotte up for the win. It’s not a bad finish, but it would be a lot more palatable if 1) it didn’t ruin something that seemed like it was on its way to being a great match, and 2) they hadn’t done so many damn false cash-ins with Carmella already.

SHANE MCMAHON INJURY UPDATE- lots of stuff that sounds very medical.

USOS PROMO- good, but I think it would have been a lot better if they hadn’t started off by talking up their match with New Day at the PPV. They shouldn’t care about the fact that a “great match” got interrupted. They should just be pissed off at the Bludgeon Brothers for trying to put them out.

JIMMY USO (w/Jey Uso) vs. LUKE HARPER (Erick Rowan)- 5.5/10
Harper wins despite Jey Uso interfering on Jimmy’s behalf (though it was after Rowan did at least cause a distraction).

US TITLE SEGMENT- good
Jinder has been added to the US Title match at Mania because he has recently beaten both of the other two men in it. FINALLY! A decision about who should get a shot at this title that makes actual sense!
He started to cut a boring, generic promo before Bobby Roode saved us all by interrupting him. Roode said he was going to win the title at WrestleMania but he was interrupted by Randy Orton. He cut a promo on Jinder. Jinder shoved Sunil Singh at the babyfaces, then ran away. The babyfaces beat Sunil up, then tried to hit each other with their finishers, ending in a stand-off. After a commercial break, they announced Roode & Orton vs. Jinder & Sunil for next week. Should be interesting.

BECKY LYNCH & NAOMI vs. THE RIOTT SQUAD (w/Ruby Riott)- DUD!
We were informed by the commentators that all of these women will be entrants in the Don’t Call It The Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royale. You might as well tell me that there is absolutely no reason to care about anything they do until after WrestleMania. The match was short, choppy, and seemed designed to make the heels look bad.

DANIEL BRYAN RENDERS JUDGEMENT ON KEVIN OWENS & SAMI ZAYN- GREAT!
Owens explained why they weren’t there at the start of the show! He says they got pulled over for speeding (because they’re heels) but claimed they were able to talk their way out it because “everyone’s dumber in Texas” (because they’re awesome heels). They think Bryan wants to team with them. They’re wrong.
Bryan gave this big wonderful speech basically saying the following: “You guys WON. You got Shane to admit that he was wrong and then take a leave of absence? Why would you still attack him afterwards?” He then fired them… and managed to get the fans to pop for it! He assured them that this didn’t mean that they couldn’t return, but only that they were “gone for now.”
He offered them handshakes, which they accepted, but they predictably attacked him afterwards. Bryan made his own comeback for a bit, which I had to pause it in the middle of to let it sink in that it was now totally real that Bryan is back.
He did get eventually overwhelmed and cut off… and I am again forced to ask why no security or babyface wrestlers came out to help the babyface authority figure fight off these two fired heels?
Anyway, it’s Bryan’s first day taking bumps in almost three years and he’s already taken a powerbomb onto the apron.
I thought this was a really great segment. Everything Bryan said wrapped up the storyline well, his speech felt very real (as opposed to the usual over-scripted drivel from the other three authority figures), and Owens and Zayn’s facial expressions did a great job of making you feel that they really didn’t “want” to do this, but in their own warped minds, they “had” to.

This was a very good episode of Smackdown. It wasn’t spectacular in the ring or anything, but it did an adequate job of building things for WrestleMania, and, perhaps most notably, it was the first show in over a year where I was able to make it through the entire show without doing any of the following:
1. Scream
2. Pull my hair out
3. Knock over a pile of laundry
4. Throw a remote, racquetball, pen, or any other small object I might have been holding
5. Kick, punch, headbutt or otherwise harm a couch, pillow, or wall

It turns out I don’t need anger management therapy after all. I just need Shane McMahon to go away and the show to not suck!


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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by Serujuunin » Mar 20th, '18, 23:34

Big Red Machine wrote:
Mar 20th, '18, 20:54
It turns out I don’t need anger management therapy after all. I just need Shane McMahon to go away and the show to not suck!
I don’t understand why you’re surprised lol

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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by cero2k » Mar 22nd, '18, 08:31

for what it's worth, Kevin Owens changed his twitter to Kevin Steen after being fired. Maybe they'll show up at friday's PWG show

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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by XIV » Mar 22nd, '18, 08:49

cero2k wrote:
Mar 22nd, '18, 08:31
for what it's worth, Kevin Owens changed his twitter to Kevin Steen after being fired. Maybe they'll show up at friday's PWG show
Wouldn't be the most suprising thing in the world in order to sell the angle.
"While you're looking at Bop, I'll hit you with Bang. You day see that coming"

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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 22nd, '18, 09:04

cero2k wrote:
Mar 22nd, '18, 08:31
for what it's worth, Kevin Owens changed his twitter to Kevin Steen after being fired. Maybe they'll show up at friday's PWG show
It would definitely sell the angle... except that everyone knows it's an angle aside from the marks, and I'm not sure marks would hear about it if it did happen.

They've also been moved to the Alumni section of the website.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by cero2k » Mar 22nd, '18, 09:14

Big Red Machine wrote:
Mar 22nd, '18, 09:04
cero2k wrote:
Mar 22nd, '18, 08:31
for what it's worth, Kevin Owens changed his twitter to Kevin Steen after being fired. Maybe they'll show up at friday's PWG show
It would definitely sell the angle... except that everyone knows it's an angle aside from the marks, and I'm not sure marks would hear about it if it did happen.

They've also been moved to the Alumni section of the website.
all i know that if this ends up with Generico running in on someone, i'll be happy

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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by KILLdozer » Mar 22nd, '18, 20:32

Racquetball?...

Pft.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by cero2k » Mar 26th, '18, 21:18


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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/20/2018 Smackdown (I'm Cured!)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 26th, '18, 21:20

cero2k wrote:
Mar 26th, '18, 21:18
I guess the orphanage he went to work at finally fixed its WiFi.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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