AJ Styles comes out to build up his match with Nakamura but his promo really started to drag for me. I know how good both of these guys are. I don’t need you to tell me. They’ve already been talking at each other for six weeks. At this point, I want to see action!
Nakamura came out and we got some dueling chants. He also said many babyface things. Then Rusev came out and we went to a commercial… and that was it. Apparently AJ vs. Rusev is scheduled for tonight. That seems like a match that could probably draw something of a rating, but of course they’ll throw it out here with no notice whatsoever.
AJ STYLES vs. RUSEV (w/Aiden English)- 6.75/10
Nakamura watched the match from ringside. The internet tells me that this is the first time these two have ever faced off in a singles match. Again… total waste.
These guys had a very good match that ended when AJ locked in the Calf Crusher and Aiden English ran in for the DQ. Rusev & English beat AJ up for a while, and the camera made sure to show us Nakamura taking his sweet time before making the save.
DASHA INTERVIEWS BIG E.- Kofi & Woods aren’t here tonight because they’re injured. Same with Jey Uso. Hooray for things having consequences! Jimmy Uso (whose arm is taped up) showed up, and say said they would work together to beat up the Bludgeon Brothers. I’m not sure if there is a match scheduled or they’re just going to hunt them down, but I hope it’s the latter.
AJ & NAKAMURA BACKSTAGE- AJ was selling his injuries. Nakamura was once again a dick to him.
THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS vs. BIG E. & JIMMY USO- 3/10
Dude… why are you doing this match this week when you could get an extra week out of this by having them both attack the Bludgeon Brothers individually this week and fail then realize that they need to form an alliance and have this match booked for next week?
The babyfaces charged the heels on their way down the ramp and soon grabbed some chairs. The Bludgeon Brothers grabbed their hammers and managed to knock the babyfaces out of the ring. After a commercial, things had reset themselves. The babyfaces took it to the Bludgeon Brothers for a bit but the Bludgeon Brothers eventually won. Jimmy Usos did not sell any of his taped up bodyparts from last night, even when he hit a big forearm shot with his injured arm. The Bludgeon Brothers attacked Big E. afterwards.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SAMI ZAYN- he blames both Owens and Shane for him not winning the title last night. This was good.
WOMEN’S SEGMENT PROMO- Charlotte comes out because she wants to be out here for whatever Asuka has to say. Asuka then came out, and they said a lot of stuff full of WWE’s favorite buzzwords for big confrontations in general and for Charlotte promos in particular. This wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t particular interesting, either.
Then RANDY ORTON came out. Huh? What does he have to do with any of this? The answer turns out to be nothing, as they were just having Randy come out so that we knew he would be cutting a promo after the commercial break, but the problem is that having him come out with the women still in the ring made it feel like he was pushing them out of ring, making them feel like lesser starts.
RANDY ORTON PROMO- He didn’t say much of anything before he was interrupted by Bobby Roode, who came out and said he is invoking his rematch clause at WrestleMania. Then Jinder Mahal came out and repeated his talking points from last month.
BOBBY ROODE vs. JINDER MAHAL (w/Sunil Singh)- 5/10
Randy Orton stayed to watch this match from ringside. Jinder got the win after Sunil got involved. Randy then gave Jinder an RKO. Even with a new champion, this still feels like nothing has moved forward.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS KEVIN OWENS- he gives a good response to Sami’s promo. This was GREAT!
CARMELLA PHONE PROMO- she wants to win the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royale and claims that she is “the modern-day Moolah.” Someone want to smarten her up?
Ah! The good people at Pro Wrestling Sheet have volunteered, with some help from Moolah’s former students and employees:
http://www.prowrestlingsheet.com/moolah ... qiBqXxG3IX
NAOMI vs. CARMELLA- 2/10
I thought the finish was brilliantly simple. We need more finishes like this.
SHANE MCMAHON MAKES HIS WRESTLEMANIA ANNOUNCEMENT-
Of course Shane kept the main event spot for himself rather than giving it to the first-time-ever match-up involving the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Kind of makes it seem like Owens is right when he says that Shane can’t handle the spotlight not being on him.
Shane announces that Bryan will be coming back next week, and even better, Shane will be taking a leave of absence as Commissioner… but first Shane books Owens vs. Zayn at WrestleMania… with no Shane involved at all. Hooray!
Owens comes out and says he can beat Sami up whenever he wants. Sami came out and they had a brief stare-down. Sami says that Shane is only doing this because he liked it when the fans cheered for Owens & Zayn beating each other up. They both say they’re glad Shane is leaving.
Shane says that he doesn’t understand why they’re so upset. In fact, in Shane’s mind, they should be grateful to him for giving them a match at WrestleMania. THEY’RE UPSET BECAUSE YOU SCREWED THEM OUT OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE YOU F*CKING MORON!
Owens and Zayn might be angry at each other, but not angry enough to set a trap for Shane… and I am proud to admit that I laughed my ass off when Sami laid Shane out from behind because Shane f*cking deserves it! They both put the boots to him… but of course Shane got to make a comeback on each of them before they finally put him down. Finally some referees came out to help Shane, but Owens and Zayn just kicked the sh*t out of them. This is pretty cathartic to watch. I get to live vicariously through Sami and Kevin (though if it were me I would have gone right for Shane’s vocal cords.
They dragged Shane backstage. NOT ONE SINGLE WRESTLER TRIED TO HELP SHANE. That’s because Shane is a f*cking hypocrite. Owens powerbombed Shane onto some sort of metal thing and Shane got stretchered off. Hooray! Good riddance, Ass-hat! Don’t let some other heavy metal thing also hit you in the back on the way out!
This wasn’t a good show from Smackdown, but it wasn’t bad, either, which is a major victory. But most importantly: