BRM Reviews the 2/13/2018 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 2/13/2018 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 13th, '18, 22:41

WINNER GETS ADDED TO THE MAIN EVENT OF FAST LANE: Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin- no rating, meh segment.
Unlike at the Royal Rumble, they seemed to have remembered Dolph’s “no entrance” gimmick. Wait… no. They did the scratch, and yet now he’s got music again. It’s the same music. They told us that Dolph left because he hates the fans, but “the allure of a WWE Championship opportunity has brought him back into the fold to face Baron Corbin.” Except that this match was booked and announced an entire day (at least) before the title shot stipulation was added on. These ass-hats cannot keep anything straight. This explanation also doesn’t address why Bryan or Shane would even want him back if he hates the fans so much he’s willing to walk out. It’s not like he can escape the fans by going to Raw, so what’s the risk of just letting him sit at home until his contract ends?
Does Corbin’s music have the same intro as the Bludgeon Brothers’ music?
Corbin doesn’t show up because Owens & Zayn are beating him up backstage, so at least we’ve been saved from having to watch a Baron Corbin match. Then they came out to beat Dolph up. No one came out to help Dolph. Shane didn’t even send security out to stop Owens & Zayn from running this match that he’s so proud of.
This went on FOREVER, which was done to buy time for Corbin to come out to fight them again and get beat up again. FINALLY some officials come out, but rather than Shane or Bryan, it’s Adam Pearce and two referees. This lasted the entire first segment of the show, with no sign of Bryan or Shane.

After the commercial and a recap, you’d think Shane would come out to do something, but instead we’re just moving on to our next match, which is…

CHARLOTTE FLAIR (w/Becky Lynch & Naomi) vs. SARAH LOGAN (w/the Riott Squad)- 3.75/10
Becky & Naomi are out here with Charlotte this week “to even up the numbers game” even though Charlotte had no problem with the numbers game last week, despite that being the thing that last week’s match was built around. Maybe Becky and Naomi were supposed to come out last week but were both in the bathroom for the entire segment.
This match was really sloppy at points, and they think there were several accidental potatoes as well. Charlotte won clean, without anyone from either side trying to get involved in any way, so what was the point of making a big deal out of Becky and Naomi showing up?

SHANE & BRYAN BACKSTAGE- Shane complains to Bryan, asking him if Owens & Zyan are “the type of WWE Champion you want, even after they did a double beat-down on two guys worthy of an opportunity.” How the hell were either Ziggler or Corbin worthy of an opportunity? Shane insists that “it’s not going down like that tonight,” and books Owens vs. Corbin and Ziggler vs. Zayn, with Ziggler and Corbin having the chance to be in the title match if they win. He also declares that if Owens or Zayn interfere, they will be out of the title match. This segment would have been A LOT more effective if Shane had actually seemed like he gave a crap about this DURING the beat-down. It feels like Shane is more angry at Bryan than at the two guys who he hates who ruined his show.

Owens got the best match he could out of Corbin. Corbin won clean.

Tom Phillips told us that the wrestlers on Smackdown have considered the Top 10 list “a game-changer.” Considering that it meant, did, and led to absolutely nothing last week, that just makes the wrestlers sound like idiots. They show last week’s list, and the only talking point they have is that “some have questioned the placement of Wrestler X at Place Y.” Snore.

Up next is Bobby Roode going back to the stupid US Title Open Challenge gimmick, so we got a…

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Bobby Roode(c) vs. Randy Orton- just kidding. It’s not happening. F*ck you, viewer.
Before the match, Roode wasted time cutting a promo justifying this stupid concept by saying that he is doing this because Cena did it and he wants to be better than Cena. He takes a not-so-veiled shot at Orton for attacking him from behind last week, and that brings Orton out to accept the challenge. How about, instead of wasting time with this “open challenge” crap and all of these speeches, you had Bryan and/or Shane just book Orton vs. Roode because Roode wants revenge on Orton and Orton is the highest non-champion, non- Rumble winner, males singles wrestler on the Top 10 List.
Before the match can start, Jinder comes out to needle Orton about the fact that the other wrestlers only voted him at #9. This seems like something that Randy Orton wouldn’t give a sh*t about. Jinder tries to suck up to Randy. Randy doesn’t give a sh*t. Jinder now points out that Roode has been here for only a few months and placed higher than Randy, who has been here for sixteen years.
Jinder won’t stop trying to stir dissension between them… but I don’t even understand what Randy gets out of it. If he wants the title shot, then making Randy want to fight Roode isn’t going to make Randy walk away and let Jinder have the title shot.
Roode buries Jinder for not even making the list and says that no one respects him. Roode then rightfully calls Randy out for being a coward who attacks people from behind and/or for no reason. Randy, being a dick, is proud of that label, and RKOs Sunil Singh out of nowhere. This leads to Roode and Jinder fighting. Roode is about to hit Jinder with the Glroius DDT but Randy gets involved so Roode knocks him down, but this lets Jinder lay out first Roode and then Randy with the Khallas.
That last bit (basically just the stuff I described in the previous paragraph) was actually pretty great, but the combination of the open challenge and the stupid list was not the right path by which to arrive at this destination. It was long, forced, Jinder’s presence made no sense whatsoever (even if he was just trying to stir up trouble, confronting people face-to-face- and especially Randy- has not been Jinder’s modus operandi at all since he became the “Modern-Day Maharajah,”) and, worst of all as my heading reflects, I got very annoyed once Jinder came out because it became apparent that I was not going to get to see the exciting match they made me think I was going to get to see. If they had found some other way to get to this three-way confrontation, this wouldn’t have been a problem.
(Come to think of it, this actually would have made a lot more sense with Rusev and English in the places of Jinder and Sunil, as Rusev and English have a logical reason to be upset at Randy, and it’s the same reason that Roode would be.)

NEW DAY COME OUT TO THE RING TO EAT PANCAKES- seriously. This is what Shane and Bryan booked to happen on their WRESTLING show. Gable & Benjamin came out to bury them for their stupidity, which led to…

CHAD GABLE & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods)- 4.5/10
Next time, how about if instead of giving this match a short amount of time, we just have a nice, long wrestling match without any talking or pancake eating, okay? It seems to me like that would be a vast improvement.
New Day won because Xavier distracted the referee so he didn’t see Gable tagging out legally. To recap: New Day come out to waste our time by eating pancakes in front of us. Gabe & Benjamin come out and tell them to stop being clowns. A wrestling match happens, in which New Day cheats to win. How are Gable & Benjamin not the babyfaces?

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DOLPH ZIGGLER- the same Dolph Ziggler promo as always where he jumps up to drama level ten to tell us about HOW HARD HE. HAS. WORKED. To get where he is… and het NO ONE respect him… even though he is THE. BEST. Wrestler in the ENTIRE WWE.
Also, he said that he has returned to WWE because he wants the opportunity to main event WrestleMania. Why didn’t he just say that instead of starting out with his standard bullsh*t.

USOS PROMO- same sh*t they always say. Then we got a dumb special effect to show us the Bludgeon Brothers destroying a TV.

OWENS & ZAYN BACKSTAGE- Owens apologizes to Zayn for losing his match, then impresses upon Zayn the importance of Zayn beating Dolph. Zayn told Owens that it would be every man for himself at the PPV.

Pretty great match. Dolph actually won when he did Shawn Michaels WrestleMania XII finish superkick spot this time.

Another bad episode of Smackdown, though not as bad as usual. I’m betting that the fact that Shane did virtually nothing tonight was a big factor in me not screaming in rage even once, which is a rarity for Smackdown. The one other thing I will note about this show was that it had a weird vibe to it because most of the matches/segments either felt like or flat out were heel vs. heel. Ziggler vs. Zayn and Owens vs. Corbin both were, New Day are basically heels to me so their match felt like it, and Roode and Orton often feel like they’re only 51% babyfaces, so their segment with Jinder almost felt like it was heel vs. heel vs. heel. Combine that with the top babyfaces, AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura, being nowhere to be found, and you’ve got a show that felt extremely heel-heavy.

Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/13/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 14th, '18, 11:30

What about "The Riott Squad just posted on Twitter challenging Becky, Charlotte and Naomi to a 3 on 3 match."?

Why the fuck would you have to shove this garbage style of doing things in?

They're in the same building, how about we just actually challenge them verbally on this wrestling show they're all on right now?
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 2/13/2018 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Feb 14th, '18, 11:47

Carmela's treatment or the general of Her, AJ, and Nakamura is getting really old and ridiculous.

When, was the Mitb holder EVER, just naturally for some strange unknown unmentioned reason just not in the show years ago? No ramifications from the cash in attempt either. What is the women's story leading into WrestleMania title wise as well?

Charlotte v Ruby Riott and company very loosely isn't good enough and there's nowhere near anything like...idk, WOMEN'S GOT DANG ELIMINATION CHAMBER ! on RAW.

Yeah though, same as the original point about Styles and Nakamura... Champion and RR winner just not there or ever shown on camera.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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