BRM Reviews the 1/9/2018 Smackdown (boring as hell)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/9/2018 Smackdown (boring as hell)

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 9th, '18, 22:37

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS AJ STYLES ABOUT BRYAN BOOKING HIM IN A HANDICAP MATCH TO DEFEND HIS TITLE AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE- AJ did a great job of saying this wasn’t fair while also not coming off as whining. He managed to avoid defending Shane, too, so double-points for that.

Owens & Zayn then came out and cut a promo on AJ saying they’ll take is title. Then Shane came out, apparently having just consulted his thesaurus, because he was all prepared with multiple synonyms for confused. He called Owens and Zayn “yep clowns” and said he “couldn’t understand” why Bryan would give them title shots, even though they do both have pinfall victories over the champion. To prove that he’s so totally fair, Shane now books the heels in a handicap match against Orton, Shinsuke, and AJ. Then he goes to Bryan, being all smug and hoping Bryan will react to his provocation, but Bryan doesn’t do so.

BECKY LYNCH (w/Charlotte Flair & Naomi) vs. RUBY RIOTT (w/the Riott Squad)- 4.25/10
Becky cut an in-set promo in which she first said she would get revenge on Ruby Riott tonight and then that she would win the Royal Rumble. I think this would have worked better as two separate promos, just to give the revenge part the chance to be the focus here. The Rumble part could even be done next week.
Becky’s two seconds each got to do their own complete entrances. This felt like a colossal waste of time that really should have gone to this match instead. Becky made Ruby tap out.

WHO IS BECKY LYNCH’S PARTNER IN THE MIXED-MATCH CHALLENGE?- It’s Sami Zayn. He surprised her with this information via disguising himself and pretending to ask for an autograph but instead revealing his identity and revealing that he was her partner. It looked like one of those over-complicated prom date asks that are all the rage nowadays.
Anyway, Becky was so overjoyed to have Sami be her partner that she jumped up and down, hugged him, and squealed with glee. That’s odd. I thought everyone on Smackdown hated Sami for costing Smackdown the main event of Survivor Series. I guess I’m not supposed to remember that anymore.

THE ASCENSION vs. THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS- squash.
The Ascension- the babyfaces- tried to jump the bell on the Bludgeon Brothers, but still got squashed. After the match, they faked like they were going to leave and then beat up on Konnor when he came out to check on Viktor.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH: Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley- 4.25/10
Bobby Roode came out to scout these two because he’ll face the winner in the next round. And he didn’t even have to do guest commentary for them to get that idea over. What a novel concept!
This match was a battle between two of the ugliest ring gears I’ve ever seen. Mojo won, then had a stare-down with Roode from which Mojo backed down from.

JINDER MAHAL PROMO- boring

NATTIE FINDS OUT WHO HER PARTNER IS- It’s Nakamura. She was so happy it wasn’t Rusev or Sami. That made me laugh.

SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHAD GABLE DEMAND JUSTICE- meh segment.
They cut a heel promo on the fans and demand that the referee come out to give them the titles. Bryan came out and told them they were wrong. He seems to be under the impression that original referee went to the back and then changed his mind rather than a second referee coming out and telling him something different. Benjamin and Gable expressed their anger towards Bryan, then sarcastically asked if he wanted them to beat The Usos twice in one night, so Bryan booked Usos vs. Benjamin & Gable for the tag titles in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match at the Rumble, despite them not deserving a title shot at all based on what Bryan had already said in this segment.

MAIN EVENT BABYFACES BACKSTAGE- we get teases of either AJ vs. Orton or AJ vs. Nakamura for the title at Mania.

TYLER BREEZE & FANDANGO vs. AIDEN ENGLISH & RUSEV- 3.5/10
They’re now provoking the fans to chant “RUSEV RUMBLE.” If they’re going to do this, why don’t they just turn him babyface? And why the f*ck would they ever job him out when Aiden English is right there?

BRYAN & SHANE BACKSTAGE- bad
Shane tells Bryan that his “decision-making is coming off as impetuous and irrational at times.” No, “impetuous and irrational” is more you, Shane. The matches you are complaining about Bryan making are more just plain stupid (which you are also guilty of, by the way). Bryan throws Shane’s criticism right back at him, and all of a sudden Shane doesn’t like the conversation and says they’ll just “agree to disagree” and walks off. Is the idea here that Bryan is purposely booking irrationally just to prove a point to Shane?

HANDICAP MATCH: Kevin Owen & Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles, Shinsuke, Nakamura, & Randy Orton- DUD!
Orton and Zayn had a really ugly phantom spot. After a while the heels tried to walk out by Shane came out and made it no count-outs. More stuff happened, and Owens grabbed a chair and hit the babyfaces to get himself disqualified. Shane came out to make this “no disqualifications and anything goes.” At this point Owens and AJ disappeared, and the rest of the match was Orton and Nakamura double-teaming Zayn and beating him up with weapons until they decided to end it. This was the opposite of entertaining because it’s two dudes destroying a third dude who I don’t even understand why they’re so angry at. Throw in the fact that this was specifically designed to be unfair to Owens and Zayn, and it’s even less enjoyable because Owens & Zayn actually felt justified in trying to worm their way out of it.

Another terrible episode of Smackdown, although this one wasn’t full of the usual stupidity so much as it was completely boring and felt like nothing was happening for most of it.


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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/9/2018 Smackdown (boring as hell)

Post by KILLdozer » Jan 10th, '18, 17:36

Gable and Benjamin are stupid as shit lmao. Gable's accent, slash voice, are so horrible I'm dying laughing over here.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 1/9/2018 Smackdown (boring as hell)

Post by cero2k » Jan 11th, '18, 09:24

KILLdozer wrote:
Jan 10th, '18, 17:36
Gable and Benjamin are stupid as shit lmao. Gable's accent, slash voice, are so horrible I'm dying laughing over here.

"Get ya' butt out here!"
i always thought that his voice was kinda weird too in NXT, but at least the promos started getting better over time.
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