BRM Reviews the 9/26/2017 Smackdown (Rusev Day!)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- very good
Kevin Owens comes out and pointedly refutes Shane’s pathetic allegations of cowardice from last week. Owens cuts an excellent promo to build up his match with Shane at Hell in a Cell. He calls Shane out, but instead of Shane coming out, Sami Zayn does. Kind of seems like Shane is the coward now doesn’t it.
Owens and Zayn had a very good and extremely believable verbal exchange. They were about to brawl when Daniel Bryan came out. He tells us “Shane isn’t here right now and he isn’t going to be.” Shane is SOOOOOO lucky he’s the boss’ son, because anyone else would have been fired long, long ago for missing work as often as Shane does. And he only even has to show up somewhere one f*cking day a week! Also, Bryan booked Owens vs. Zayn for later tonight.

BARON CORBIN vs. TYE DILLINGER- 1/10
Before the match started, AJ Styles came out to do commentary. Corbin stared at AJ as AJ stood near him, waiting for a ringside attendant to get him a chair… and while this was happening, Dillinger ran up behind Corbin, grabbed him from behind, and tossed him out of the ring. What an obnoxious piece of sh*t. This just makes me want to see Corbin beat the sh*t out of Dillinger. Then they had AJ Styles get on commentary and talk about how Corbin is a terrible person because he jumped AJ from behind.
Stuff happened. Then Corbin got knocked to the outside. He threw AJ’s water in AJ’s face so AJ got up to confront him. Dillinger also tried to charge at Corbin (once again from behind) but Corbin grabbed him and threw him into AJ. Then Corbin got back in the ring and Dillinger wound up getting counted out. What a loser! He actually almost made it back in but just barely didn’t. Then Corbin kicked him in the face after the match, and I laughed my ass off. After the match Corbin cut a promo that was actually not bad. They’ve really found his voice as this whiny heel, which seems like it shouldn’t work for such a large guy, but he makes it work.

JINDER MAHAL PROMO- different week, same sh*t.
Oh. Wait. This time one of the pictures actually was the real Nakamura (did he hack the TitanTron feed or something?) and he said something in an accent so thick I could not understand anything other than “right here on Smackdown Live,” which is the first time I’ve ever had that problem with Nakamura. Nakamura showed up and ran at all three heels, eventually beating them up and nailing Jinder with the Kinshasa. This should have been enjoyable, but Jinder’s very presence is just so grating to me at this point that I can’t even enjoy him getting beaten up.

THE HYPE BROS. vs. THE USOS- 1.5/10
New Day came out and sat in the crowd. The Usos won, then exchanged promos with The New Day. Xavier said that New Day want to defend the tag titles inside Hell in a Cell. Much like last year’s women’s HIAC match, I really don’t like this idea that guys want to defend their titles inside Hell in a Cell because Hell in a Cell is cool or exciting. The only reason anyone should want to get anywhere near Hell in a Cell is because they hate their opponent so much that they’re willing to put their own career at risk just for the chance to inflict severe pain of their opponent.

“PRIDE OF BULGARIA CELEBRATION”- F*CKING AWESOME!
For his quick defeat of Randy Orton last week, Rusev is being awarded the key to his home town. They had Aiden English sing the Bulgarian national anthem, and the mayor of Rusev’s home town of Plodiv read a proclamation declaring September 26th to be “Rusev Day” and gave him the key to the city. I don’t know what the mayor of Plodiv’s name is or what he looks like, so I choose to believe that this actually was the shoot mayor of Plodiv and that he watched Smackdown last week and decided to give Rusev this honor and called up WWE to ask them if he could do so live on Smackdown so that the whole world can see how proud Plodiv is of its favorite son.
Rusev then cut a short promo, and after that Aiden English sang a song that he himself wrote and composed for this very occasion, which is probably the greatest musical performance in the history of professional wrestling aside from Wind Beneath Our Ring (which I think to this day might still be the funniest comedy segment in WWE history).
Then that asshole Randy Orton had to come in and ruin everything!
First he RKOed English. Then he went after the mayor, but valiant Rusev was able to help get the mayor to safety, but wound up eating an RKO himself. F*CK YOU, RANDY ORTON!

DANIEL BRYAN & SAMI ZAYN BACKSTAGE- Bryan tells Sami that Shane’s plane just landed and he’ll be here soon. Sami asked Bryan to tell Shane to pretty please not interfere in his match tonight. This whole thing really made the Owens vs. Zayn match feel totally inconsequential and made it clear that Shane is supposed to be the star of the show, not our main event babyface Sami Zayn. Remember when Shane promised us all that Smackdown would be about the wrestlers and not about the authority figures? LOL. Sami and Bryan did the best they could to make Sami not look like someone who was just booked to kill time until Shane showed up.

RANDY ORTON ASKS RENEE TO CHALLENGE RUSEV TO A HELL IN A CELL MATCH ON HIS BEHALF- I’m glad this match is happening because it will allow Rusev to get some revenge on that dastardly Randy Orton for running Rusev Day!

CHARLOTTE vs. CARMELLA (w/James Ellsworth)- 4/10
Charlotte won. Nattie came out and cut a promo afterwards saying that Ric Flair would have to watch his daughter fail at Hell in a Cell. Can we maybe have someone cut a promo on Charlotte that doesn’t require them mentioning her father?

UNDERTAKER’S DONG SOUNDS- But it’s Ziggler, which I think everyone saw coming because Dolph’s been doing this same dumb sh*t for a month now (and apparently Bryan just lets him do it every week) and they’ve beaten it into our heads that Roman Reigns retired The Undertaker at WrestleMania.
Oh. Yeah. Bobby Roode is on the main roster now. He shows up to interrupt Dolph. You’d think if Roode was going to interrupt Dolph and Dolph is burying people for having elaborate entrances that they’d have Ziggler imitate Roode’s entrance and have THAT be the thing that brings Roode out, which would feel a lot more in character for Bobby as well. But this is WWE, and the obvious, sensible thing to do often escapes them.

KEVIN OWENS vs. SAMI ZAYN- 6.5/10
Just to show you how unimportant the wrestlers are, they cut away from this match to show us Shane arriving at the building. Owens and Zayn did a great job with very little time. Owens won by referee stoppage after a powerbomb onto the apron. Sami had to be helped away by medical personnel, but Owens eventually started to attack him again anyway. I can’t help but notice that not one single person is actually trying to stop Owens from attacking Sami even though the match is over. Owens has a chair around Sami’s neck like he is going to Pillmanizer it…
Ah. And here comes Shane to make the save…
But Owens pushes Sami into Shane and the chair nailed Shane in the face and I couldn’t help but laugh because Shane is by far the most annoying character on this show. Owens ran off while Shane got into the ring and postured in his direction.

A terrible episode of Smackdown, but I will never forget the awesomeness of Rusev Day as long as I live, and I vow to celebrate Rusev Day every year from now on.

[KILLdozer]

I think they've actually found the best and Perfect use for English in that type of role. Used like that, that quite possibly could be the best heel character I've seen in a while lol.

[KILLdozer]

I'm not sure on his in ring ability yet, but if nothing else he could definitely be a full time heel manager.

[KILLdozer]

Jinder Mahal has definitely had a character gimmick, not quite overhaul. Gone is the super smug, constant deep voice rambling of bravado and representing India and etc, now he's just become a snarky, kind of silly and goofball jackass/dumbass heel.