BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 19th, '17, 23:33

SHANE MCMAHON PROMO- horrible
Shane calls Owens’ attack on Vince “cowardly.” Why? He attacked Vince head-on. And if you’re going to say that “Vince wasn’t ready for it then how is that any different from what Shane did to Owens two weeks ago?
Shane tries to evoke our pathos by saying that his children had to watch their grandfather get beaten up on TV last week because of what Owens did. This would be the very same children that SHANE HIMSELF BROUGHT TO WRESTLEMANIA AND SAT IN THE FRONT ROW FOR HIS MATCH AGAINST THE UNDERTAKER.
Shane is giving his big speech about the McMahons and just want him to shut up. Shane’s big finish was the following:
“Kevin Owens, I condemn you to a ruthless beating at my own hands. I condemn you to a life of pain and suffering from these hands, and I condemn you to hell in the cell.”
First of all, it’s Hell in A Cell, dumbass. This marble-mouthed motherf*cker can’t even get the name of the match and the PPV right. Secondly… take your over-dramatic bullsh*t back to Shakespeare in the Park. No one would ever say this in real life.
Thirdly… you’re a forty-seven year-old part-timer whose only win in the past eight and a half years was as part of a Survivor Series team in a match where you didn’t even manage to eliminate anyone, and didn’t survive until the end, either, so all you did was take up space. Who was the last guy faced, Shane? AJ Styles. And you lost to him completely cleanly. Well Kevin Owens BEAT AJ Styles cleanly to win the US Title a few months ago, so what chance do you have against a man over a decade younger and who does this regularly for a living? Kevin Owens has been a singles champion for most of the past year. Shane, you haven’t done sh*t other than lose some big matches and do a horrible job running Smackdown, so stop acting like you have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.

RANDY ORTON vs. AIDEN ENGLISH- 3/10
English sang a song insulting Orton… so he’s basically The Drifter.
The match was long and boring. Rusev showed up afterwards and cut a promo explaining why he wants to kick Randy’s ass. The ref ordered the bell to be rang, so we got…

RANDY ORTON vs. RUSEV- no rating, interesting segment.
They teased us with the quick RKO again but Rusev shoved Orton off and Orotn bumped into English, who was standing on the apron, then Rusev hit Orton with a superkick and pinned him!

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RUSEV- AWESOME!
When Renee walked up to Rusev he was running around backstage shouting “I BEAT HIM! I BEAT HIM!” He talked about being able to return home a hero, and walked off chanting “RUSEV #1!” and everyone else in the arena was chanting it with him.

JINDER MAHAL PROMO- he’s doing the same comedy that bombed last week. Also, he says we’re all racist and that we’ll turn on Nakamura. So yeah. It was pretty much exactly the same promo as last week, completely with stereotypical Japanese accent. Does this mean we’ll have to hear this promo every single week for the next five months just like we had to hear Jinder’s “you hate me because I am different” promo for five months. They want to make Jinder this big star in India, but they have done everything possible to make him completely boring, grating, and unlikable. People hate Roman because of his push and what he represents, but with Jinder I (and I think others) just want him to go away. I don’t like the fact that Roman is getting the push he is in the way he is (especially over the many more qualified candidates who were sacrificed for him), but I never feel like Roman’s segments are wasting my time. Jinder, on the other hand… I just want his segments to end.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHINSUKE NAKAMURA- meh

AJ STYLES PROMO- Terrible.
First he cuts a promo telling us all how great Vince is and how terrible it was that Kevin Owens beat him up, and saying that he thinks Shane will kick Owens’ ass. Oh come on!
Then he cuts a promo about all of the “shortcuts” Baron Corbin has supposedly taken, including claiming that he took a shortcut to winning MITB. Then he called Corbin a failure, which is pretty accurate.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: AJ Styles(c) vs. Baron Corbin- no rating, interesting segment.
What is up with that chanting at the beginning of Corbin’s entrance music? It sounds very un- Corbin-like. Corbin jumped AJ from behind. Then Dillinger came out and jumped Corbin from behind, taking out his knee. AJ then went after the injured Corbin and locking him in the Calf Crusher and Corbin now appears to be injured. He probably does need to be off of TV for a bit and then he can come back for vengeance on AJ and Dillinger.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS BARON CORBIN- a GREAT angry heel promo from Corbin. He vows to “get even.”

WOMEN’S SEGMENT- Terrible.
Charlotte gives a sappy but also very real speech about how her father’s major health scare has taught her to make every moment you have together count. Then Nattie interrupted her because apparently Nattie is having “a celebration of women,” by which she means herself. I will admit to laughing my ass off at that Amelia Earhart line. Does that make me a bad person?
Charlotte says she wants a title shot, and as far as I’m concerned, she deserves one because she earned a shot her first night on Smackdown that got ruined because of the interference of others, and then Shane just decided to keep giving everyone #1 contendership matches and yet Charlotte never got her actual title shot made up to her.
Then Becky Lynch came out saying that she wants a title shot, and I can’t for the life of me remember one thing she has done to deserve it. Then Naomi came out. OH COME THE F*CK ON! She just lost cleanly to Nattie last week!
Naomi tells Nattie “you do not represent all women,” to which I said “I wish she would because she’s been the most reasonable and least annoying woman on this show for months" (and she’s a f*cking heel!). Naomi then told Nattie “you don’t even represent the women of Smackdown Live,” at which point I shouted “that nice blue and white title belt of hers says differently.” At this point I realized that I was arguing with a character on my TV, and thought that maybe I should go to sleep, but my dinner is only half-way done cooking, so that’s not really an option.
Naomi got into the ring and said “since my girls Becky and Charlotte are here asking for title matches, I figure…” and then two things happened. First, she got interrupted by Tamina’s music, and second they cut to the hard-cam for a shot of all three challengers standing neatly in a row, and it made this whole thing come across as so painfully choreographed and phony. Who the hell told them to stand around like that? And someone must have, because there was absolutely no reason for Naomi to walk all the across the ring while talking to Nattie.
So Tamina and Lana come out, and Lana tells Nattie to “not listen to these disrespectful pathetic villagers.” Yes, “villagers.” I don’t know why, but I found this completely hilarious. Tamina, too, wants a title match. So yeah. We’re getting another gigantic clusterf*ck #1 contendership match even though just one of these yahoos has any sort of claim for a title shot, and many of them have absolutely no logical claim whatsoever. Bryan came out and made it official, because Smackdown is the Land of Empty Bullsh*t Catchphrases. Sorry, I mean “Land of Opportunity” (so long as it’s convenient for the plot for it to be so. When it’s not, then “title shots must be earned here on Smackdown Live).” F*ck Smackdown. And I was actually enjoying large chunks of the show for once, too.
Nattie was excellent here with her self-serving bullsh*t righteousness (“Stop it! This isn’t about any of you guys! This is about women! About me representing women!”), but everything else sucked hard. They absolutely need to make an “I AM NOT A CRAZY CAT LADY!” shirt.


THE HYPE BROS. vs. THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods)- 4.25/10
The Usos were on commentary and claimed that they lost to the New Day because the Freebird Rule makes it impossible for them to prepare for their opponents... except that I’m dead sure that they had a segment on the show two weeks ago where it was in fact announced in advance which members of New Day would be wrestling in the match. The Usos are getting their rematch at the PPV.

KEVIN OWENS INTERVIEW LIVE VIA SATELLITE- meh.

HYPE BROS. BACKSTAGE- Mojo identifies that “something’s got to change. We’ve got to do something drastic.” Whatever.

DOLPH ZIGGLER PROMO- same dumb sh*t as the past two weeks. This week he was Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and D-X. Not only are the people in the production truck playing along with this, but they’re actually making “DZ” graphics for the TitanTron for these entrances.
The only even mildly amusing part of this was fans chanting “CM PUNK!” in the hopes of Dolph doing Punk’s entrance. That should be a thing. Every week people should bring signs demanding that Dolph do some entrance that we know he won’t wind up doing, like Mantaur’s or Melina’s.

#1 CONTENDESHIP MATCH: Charlotte vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Tamina (w/Lana)- 7.5/10
Corey Graves made some comment along the lines of “we know what kind of managerial past Lana has had.” This whole thing is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO infuriating! So broke Lana and Rusev up without so much as a single indication on-screen that anything has happened and they’ve gone out of their way not to mention that they were ever together despite the fact that I don’t think there is a single fan out there who can think of one without thinking of the other… and yet now they want me to remember that Lana was successful as Rusev’s manager, but they still for some reason don’t want to mentioned Lana and Rusev together so they make Graves say this ridiculous phrase that would be found anywhere outside of terrible pro wrestling announcing (and I didn’t specify WWE there because I have no doubt that Mike Tenay or Kevin Kelly would use such a phrase as well).
This was a great four-way match where they never let you forget that it was a four-way. This very much felt like it saved the show.

A show full of the usual disappointment and frustration, with the Rusev stuff and especially the main event saving it from being total crap. The US Title angle was enjoyable as well, but everything else was frustrating or dull.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 24th, '17, 09:22

That Kevin Owens shit..."You made me want to punch and kick him like the garbage bag"

Wtf would you attack the garbage? Lol
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 24th, '17, 09:30

Yeah I'm not sure what this Ziggler stuff is supposed to lead to . Pissing off everyone then getting absolutely stomped?

He talks about what everyone else is doing or has been, but they're actually successful and this just feels like another guy looking to get a name for himself still lol.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by cero2k » Sep 24th, '17, 12:41

KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 24th, '17, 09:30
Yeah I'm not sure what this Ziggler stuff is supposed to lead to . Pissing off everyone then getting absolutely stomped?

He talks about what everyone else is doing or has been, but they're actually successful and this just feels like another guy looking to get a name for himself still lol.
he recreates a GLORIOUS entrance, and the actual GLORIOUS entrance comes out and kicks his ass. Personally I'm just hoping he does a CM Punk entrance
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 24th, '17, 17:36

cero2k wrote:
Sep 24th, '17, 12:41
KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 24th, '17, 09:30
Yeah I'm not sure what this Ziggler stuff is supposed to lead to . Pissing off everyone then getting absolutely stomped?

He talks about what everyone else is doing or has been, but they're actually successful and this just feels like another guy looking to get a name for himself still lol.
he recreates a GLORIOUS entrance, and the actual GLORIOUS entrance comes out and kicks his ass. Personally I'm just hoping he does a CM Punk entrance
I guarantee they're saving that for Chicago, although the next time they're there is the last SD of the year, so maybe they'll do it elsewhere. Or maybe they'll just keep this thing going until then with no progression whatsoever, which wouldn't shock me at all.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 24th, '17, 21:54

Soon he's gonna be racist lol
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/19/2017 Smackdown (the usual frustration)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 24th, '17, 21:54

It's inevitable right, since he's mocking everything and everyone?
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