BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 12th, '17, 20:37

OPENING SEGMENT- dull
Kevin Owens comes out and explains that he is suing everyone until he gets run Smackdown. And, of course, the first thing that he will do when he is in charge is fire Sami Zayn. He says that Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton will be forced to wear the same suit, by which he means one suit for two people. Also, he’ll cancel the Fashion Files. That last part sounds pretty good.
He calls out Vince but instead Shane’s music plays and Owens freaks out because Shane is suspended… but it’s just Dolph dressed as Shane, and it turns out that Owens set this all up. Dolph goes to the back, then Daniel Bryan’s music plays and it’s the real deal this time instead of just Dolph. Bryan lightly scolds Owens and assures him that “Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon.”
HE’S NOT HERE YET?! HOW?! He’s a rich dude with a private plane who runs his own business. He’s known about this for a week! How the hell is he not here yet?

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: AJ Styles(c) vs. Tye Dillinger- 6.5/10
They could just call this a “US Title match” but no. They’re so obsessed with branding that they’ve got to call it an “open challenge specifically for one Superstar” even though that completely defeats the purpose of it being an “open” challenge.
To hype up tonight’s match, Dillinger apparently went on Twitter and said “anything can happen when phenomenal meets perfection.” He should have been fired for Tweeting something so vapid, but to WWE, this is the sort of thing they think it’s a good idea to tell us about because we’ll find it cool or something. Dillinger got a close nearfall because Corbin showed up ad AJ got distracted, but other than that he never came across like he had anything close to a chance.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good.
Corbin attacked AJ by pulling him out of the ring from behind and throwing him into the barricade. Byron called him a “sore loser,” which is an odd thing to call someone who wasn’t even in the match and had no rooting interest. Byron later amended his statement to say that Corbin was upset about being left out of the title picture… and if I Corbin, I’d be pretty upset too. He beat this guy clean last week, and then the champ decides to give a title shot to the guy he just proved he was better than? F*ck that sh*t!
Corbin then grabbed a mic and preemptively answered the US Title open challenge that we all presume AJ will be holding next week.

DASHA INTERVIEWS RUSEV- meh
Rusev has apparently “requested this time to discuss [his] recent trip back to Bulgaria.” So he can just go and ask for TV time to talk about his f*cking vacation? Why couldn’t they just have Dasha have say that Rusev has something to say about his recent loss to Randy Orton and let Rusev talk him going to Bulgaria?
Rusev says that his family in Bulgaria no longer accept him because of his loss to Randy Orton at SummerSlam. It’s a good thing he has a wife here in the US, right? You’d think she would be here to stand with her husband in his time of need, but that would require the bookers to remember that they are married, which they don’t because they suck at their jobs. Anyway, Rusev says that he needs to prove himself by destroying a legend or something like that. Snore.

JINDER MAHAL PROMO- boring and also racist.
There are actually fans cheering for Jinder. WHY?! Out of kayfabe he sucks, and in kayfabe he’s a despicable heel who still sucks because he can’t win on his own. He tries to cut a promo on Nakamura. He makes poop jokes and talks about Nakamura ripping off Michael Jackson. Then he made a joke that involved him shouting “IT’S GODZIRRA!” in exactly that sort of stereotypical accent.
Then he asked the fans “are you seriously laughing at what I’m saying?” because he was apparently surprised by this. Then he said “this is what I’ve been talking about this whole time.” So why were you so surprised by it?
Cue accusations of racism and discrimination from the fans, cue talking in Punjabi, and we’re finally done.

OWENS MAKES DUMB DEMANDS TO SOME DORK BACKSTAGE- dumb. All of these segments with Owens backstage are just a waste of time.

OWENS & ZAYN BACKSTAGE- Owens is mean to Sami and they bury independent wrestling as taking place “in front of forty-two people.” Sami doesn’t care. Also, they’re both idiots. If Owens fires Sami then why can’t Sami just go and sign with Raw?

SIN CITY STREET FIGHT FOR THE WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLES: The Usos(c) vs. The New Day- 7.75/10
Xavier isn’t out here so The Usos can’t make any excuses about New Day cheating. This is a good explanation, but it would have been a lot better to make a segment out of it last and have The Usos demand that Xavier also be barred from ringside so that they don’t look like idiots for picking a Street Fight against a faction of three guys, and so Xavier can show confidence in his comrades.
This was a GREAT weapons match full of the expected big bumps. New Day won the belts back, so this feud will keep going yet again.

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Natalya(c) vs. Naomi- 4/10
You know how WWE is doing is whole Mae Young Classic to show that they are dedicated to pushing women’s wrestling and not treating the women as second-class wrestlers anymore? And you know how they’ve been getting everyone’s favorite female combat athlete Ronda Rousey to hang around the thing because Ronda is a huge wrestling fan and her fellow Horsewoman Shayna Baszler is a big part of the tournament? Well because they had Ronda in town they gave her front row tickets to tonight’s show and also Hunter and Steph got to hang out with her earlier today and take some pictures. Well, in a moment of utterly delicious irony (made even more wonderful by how blind WWE is to it), in order to show Ronda in the front row and show pictures of Ronda hanging out with Hunter and Steph, they skipped the entrances of both the champion and the challenger for tonight’s Women’s Title match. Only WWE.
Carmella is on commentary. Ellsworth is wearing a leash. Nattie is apparently supposed to be the heel here but Naomi is so insufferable that I’m just getting annoyed at her showy bullsh*t.
The match was short and not happened because we had to involve Carmella and Ellsworth in things or else people might forget that the woman with the MITB contract has her eyes set on the champion.

KEVIN OWENS & AIDEN ENGLISH BACKSTAGE- dumb waste of time. Also, apparently Vince STILL isn’t here yet.

DOLPH ZIGGLER COMES OUT AND EMBARASSES HIMSELF JUST LIKE LAST WEEK- like last week but worse.
Just to absolutely kill this, they have him explain what he is doing first. This is SOOOOO annoying. What is even their endgame here? Just quit the foreplay and have him try to shove the ringpost up his ass or whatever their ultimate humiliation for him is.
And I love how he just shows up and does these entrances and then just walks to the back. What did Bryan have booked during this segment? Did Dolph really come up to Bryan and say “hey, can I do a bunch of entrances and bury the crowd” and babyface Daniel Bryan said “sure!”? If the whole gimmick is that he is saying that it is what you do in the ring that should count then shouldn’t they have him coming out here and doing his dumb shtick and then winning a match to support his point?

SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHAD GABLE vs. THE HYPE BROS.- 2/10
Gable and Shelton won. Mojo shook hands with them after the match but Ryder didn’t.

MR. MCMAHON MAKES HIS ANNOUNCEMENTS-
Owens comes out, too. Vince is just completely burying him. Vince tells him that if files his suit against WWE, he will fire him. Yeah. I’m sure that’s going to look good in front of the judge. But of course Owens can’t point this out because this segment is all about making Vince look unbeatable. Even though Owens is clearly the heel here Vince is still doing the rich douchebag “I’m so rich I will always win” heel gimmick. This company sucks SOOOOO much.
Vince flat out says “I didn’t suspend Shane because he put his hands on you; I suspended him because he didn’t finish the job.” Vince is upset because Owens said bad things about Shane. Didn’t Vince hate Shane the last time they saw each other? In fact, has it ever even been explained how Vince got his power back after the Board of Directors replaced him with Hunter in 2011?
Vince just keeps burying Owens. If you’re Owens, why would you not just beat the sh*t out of Vince right now, get fired, and go be a huge star on the indies and in New Japan?
Vince announces that not only is he reinstating Shane, but he is booking Owens vs. Shane for Hell in a Cell… and the moral of our story is that it’s okay to do the wrong thing if you’re the boss’ son.
Owens gets Vince to give him his word that he can “beat a McMahon senseless” without getting fired, and, like an idiot, Vince doesn’t see the obvious coming and Owens lays him out. They sent out a grand total of ONE REFEREE to protect Vince from Owens. It didn’t help. Now there are TWO referees, because that will definitely do it. Now there’s a road agent as well, and after a Bullfrog Owens just stops. Vince has bladed by the way. They bring the stretcher out for Vince but he won’t get on it because he’s got to get over how tough he is at age 72. Speaking of McMahons out to get themselves over, Steph gets to come out and have a stare-down with Owens, too before going to help her father.

Another bad Smackdown, despite the tag title match.


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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by cero2k » Sep 12th, '17, 22:00

i'm gonna admit it, Kevin Steen vs The McMahon family is the last thing I ever thought I see
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 12th, '17, 22:17

cero2k wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:00
i'm gonna admit it, Kevin Steen vs The McMahon family is the last thing I ever thought I see
As work, you mean.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by cero2k » Sep 12th, '17, 22:26

Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:17
cero2k wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:00
i'm gonna admit it, Kevin Steen vs The McMahon family is the last thing I ever thought I see
As work, you mean.
i mean, both i guess, but yeah, mainly in kayfabe
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 13th, '17, 08:34

cero2k wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:26
Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:17
cero2k wrote:
Sep 12th, '17, 22:00
i'm gonna admit it, Kevin Steen vs The McMahon family is the last thing I ever thought I see
As work, you mean.
i mean, both i guess, but yeah, mainly in kayfabe
Outside of kayfabe he once got into a Twitter war with Melissa Joan Hart about whether or not he was a lazy worker, so I think that takes the cake for "the last thing I ever thought I'd see."
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 13th, '17, 09:01

It reminds me of that whole Owens V Roh thing years back where he got fired and shit inside of Kayfabe and it was all supposedly a huge deal. Go ahead, brm, "Because knew how to book it correctly."
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 13th, '17, 10:19

KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 09:01
It reminds me of that whole Owens V Roh thing years back where he got fired and shit inside of Kayfabe and it was all supposedly a huge deal. Go ahead, brm, "Because knew how to book it correctly."
The issue with that was that they misjudged how people would receive cornette's booking in general and as a result they accidentally turned Owens babyface.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 13th, '17, 11:13

Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 10:19
KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 09:01
It reminds me of that whole Owens V Roh thing years back where he got fired and shit inside of Kayfabe and it was all supposedly a huge deal. Go ahead, brm, "Because knew how to book it correctly."
The issue with that was that they misjudged how people would receive cornette's booking in general and as a result they accidentally turned Owens babyface.
So instead of, the ultimate anti Authority/organization heel, it became the ultimate, anti Authority/orginization face...

So instead of , say, kicking McMahon's in the head and handcuffing and kissing Stefanie while Hhh helplessly loses it, Randy Orton, he became Steve Austin lol.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by KILLdozer » Sep 13th, '17, 11:36

I've only just begun, and he just tapped to the calf crusher, but man these nicknames just don't do it nor do they work.

They just use them for whoever and don't really do any follow up as to show you why these monikers are supposed to actually actively represent these dudes and who and what they are.

Corbin is just "The Lone Wolf" , but he's nowhere near dark enough nor a brooding type of loner for something like that to actually mean anything. He's definitely not vicious like a wolf whereas it's like he's just is always dominantly destroying people and just won't stop.

Dillenger is not a "Perfect 10". He's pretty much just an average, good, wrestler, they used traditional moves, but nothing about him or anything he does says ten or Perfect. Plus he loses way too much for such a name, lol he's like barely getting away from being a glorified jobber.

Nakamura and the whole "Artist" thing is maybe the closest thing that has any resemblance of fitting, just because it fits what does Inside the ring, but there's so much better. Like, idk , The King of Strong Style .

Also, this Jinder Mahal shit is just ridiculous. THIS is actually their attempt at him being an organic , different type of non, cliche after cliche, bunch of bullshit heel.

His so , over the top ridiculously dramatic style of fake voice he tries to use is ridiculous!
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/12/2017 Smackdow (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 13th, '17, 22:59

KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 11:13
Big Red Machine wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 10:19
KILLdozer wrote:
Sep 13th, '17, 09:01
It reminds me of that whole Owens V Roh thing years back where he got fired and shit inside of Kayfabe and it was all supposedly a huge deal. Go ahead, brm, "Because knew how to book it correctly."
The issue with that was that they misjudged how people would receive cornette's booking in general and as a result they accidentally turned Owens babyface.
So instead of, the ultimate anti Authority/organization heel, it became the ultimate, anti Authority/orginization face...

So instead of , say, kicking McMahon's in the head and handcuffing and kissing Stefanie while Hhh helplessly loses it, Randy Orton, he became Steve Austin lol.
Yes.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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